May 27th, 2013

"Mother..."

Eun-shil opened her eyes slowly; her ears meeting the sound of the monitor and air purifier and her nose picking up the smell of the antiseptic. She first saw the ceiling which looked kind of familiar but the one she had never liked. She moved her gaze slightly to the left and saw Woohyun looking at her wearily.

Why is your face like that, Woohyun-ah?

"Eun-shil." His voice was weak, as if he had been sick.

She didn't answer him; instead, she was just looking at his eyes which looked sullen and lightless. His mouth was pursed tightly and his lips looked dry. While watching him, she slowly remembered what happened to her. Woohyun watched her parting lips, with eyes suggesting that he longed for them.

"Were you the one who found me?"

Woohyun's face changed a bit, perhaps a bit unfocussed, embarrassed and helpless. Slowly, he shook his head and hung it low. Eun-shil went on looking at him and closed her eyes again. She had strayed too far from the neighbourhood, much to her surprise and wasn't actually hoping for anyone to find her. But deep in the corner of her heart, she was hoping that Woohyun would find her, hold into her and scold her or something.

What foolish thinking are you having, really?

Neither Woohyun nor Sunggyu found her that evening. The old woman who helped her got someone to call an ambulance while trying to stop Eun-shil's nose from bleeding. She even got onto the ambulance and went to the hospital together. Woohyun saw her and she looked like she had been crying.

"Take care of that child." She said, before leaving. Woohyun offered some tokens of gratitude but she shook her head. "I have a daughter around her age. I could only hope someone would do just the same for her if she was in the same situation." Woohyun could only smile to himself, watching the weary yet nice pair of eyes she had before she turned and left.

Woohyun then spent the night just watching over Eun-shil, caressing her forehead occasionally, the back of her hand and kissed it, not taking his eyes off her face. When it was around dawn, she woke up and the word that came out from almost brought tears to his eyes.

Mother

Mother?

Around 9, Eun-shil had to go to the procedure room to have her bone marrow sample taken. She looked faze when the nurse came but when Woohyun said he'll come along, she looked at him and shook her head. He sank in his chair after they'd left, feeling more and more desolated. When she came back, she didn't look like she had been crying as she had always did. Wincing, she climbed onto the bed and lay down on a side, facing the other way. Woohyun watched her tiny back, longing to touch her but he knew he shouldn't.

It didn't take long before a doctor came along and broke the news.

"It's a relapse." He began, sitting on the sofa in the room, looking at Woohyun keenly. Eun-shil was on her bed, looking ahead of her, not saying anything.

Woohyun fidgeted in his seat. "But things had been great all this while. Eun-shil had been getting better each day. And... And... I took every precaution to keep her surrounding clean and safe and she rarely goes out... And she even had a bone marrow transplant and you said that it would help her get rid of her cancer!"

"This is not something that we can control, Nam-sshi." He replied, curtly. "A relapse is common in cancer, you see..."

That word again, Woohyun cursed. The doctor explained the treatments that were available for Eun-shil, including higher dose chemotherapy and a second bone marrow transplant. Both of them were only listening, not offering any reply for a while. Woohyun asked when they were going to start the whole thing and the doctor said to give it some time for Eun-shil to have her blood count at a safe level again. It made Woohyun nervous hearing that, as he strongly felt that everything should just begin as soon as possible.

Eun-shil was still silent after the doctor had left and Woohyun carefully took his seat next to her bed.

"Do you feel any pain anywhere?" He asked, watching her blank face.

She shook her head, looked sideways and slid down the bed and lay down hugging her knees, facing the other side.

"Do you want to eat anything? I'll get them for you." She shook her head again.

Woohyun waited for a few minute before he reached for her arm and turned her to him. She looked at him but there was something in her gaze that suggested that she didn't really want to.

"I guess you're still mad at me." She didn't reply or nod or do anything; she was just staring at him. His gaze became sadder and smiling bitterly, he spoke again, "I was wrong. I'm sorry."

Eun-shil watched his face turning more and more disconsolate and slowly, she got up and sat up, with her legs hanging down from the bed. Woohyun watched her, and she was watching him.

"Woohyun." She paused. "Kiss me."

He looked at her, questioningly at her flat tone and took a few seconds before he got up, held her cheeks and placed his lips on hers. The moment he did, he closed his eyes but not Eun-shil. She was watching his closed eyes, which were flickering under his lids and his nose brushing against her skin. She was reminded of Sunggyu's kiss; of how soft it felt, and how she had felt safe while knowing ev