Mrs. Choi announced that the showcase was up and they would be viewing it during class.  Jae bit her lip and filed out the door behind Jun.  The boy was telling her about some friend of his, that was going to a school across town, and was starting a job as a model today.  Jae was only half listening, her mind wondering what her sister had written.  "He just got back from living in Japan with his halmeoni.  But he got a job so quickly, I wish I could be like him."  Jae nodded as they entered the large hall.  Poems hung all around the room.  The art department had taken each of the pieces and made painting and pictures to go along with them.  The class dispersed in different directions.  Key and Taemin had made their way over and were talking with Jun.  Jae paced along, glancing over the poems, stopping whenever one caught her eye.

They had gone all the way to the back wall before they came across Jae's.  It was written out on canvas.  Above the text was a pair of teary watercolor eyes.  The colorful tears dripped down the page and through the text, into the garden below.  Jae smiled, it was exactly as she had envisioned it.  Next to it was Taemin's.  It was on a black sheet of paper, written in white chalk.  Below the poem was a girl dancing.  Taemin smiled and excitedly showed it to Jun, bragging about how he had written by himself.  "Although, the girl that I wrote it about is much more beautiful than the woman the art department came up with."  His eyes flicked up to Jae and she turned to the next poem, hiding a blush.  The next poem was made with a typewriter on a yellowed sheet of paper.  The frame it was in had an older feel to it and in the bottom corner there was a faded sepia tone picture of a girl.  Jae examined the picture closely before reading the poem.

"Drowning in silence,

Covering up tears,

Splitting open wrists

Is what happened for years.

Her mind was a menace,

Stinging her like a bee,

Controlling her body,

It wouldn't let her free.

She left with a vengeance,

Her blood running cold,

She hid under dirt,

nearly 18 years old.

But her mind was a menace,

It plagued all the people,

As they finally said the words,

Under that great church steeple."

Taemin and Key had frozen when they saw what she was reading.  Key bit his lip and looked away, while Taemin turned to his friend, worry evident in his eyes.  Jae reached up, as if to touch the picture, before letting her arm drop to her side.  "No author."  She whispered, almost quiet enough that the boys didn't heard it.  Key glanced up at her, watching her study the picture with a sad curiosity to her eyes.  Jun coughed, bringing the group out of their thoughts.  Jae stepped on to the next poem, titled 41.  It was on a tall white canvas, written in blood red ink.

She rolled up her sleeves to reveal her scars.

41 to be exact.

41 times she had been forgotten.

41 times she was called fat.

41 times she couldn't pick herself up.

41 times she cried herself to sleep.

41 times she wanted to die.

41 times she was left alone.

41 times she purged.

41 times her parents ignored her.

41 times her heart broke.

41 times she couldn't take it anymore.

41 times she was hit.

41 times she was left behind.

41 times the pills didn't work.

41 times she skipped her meals.

41 times the blade kissed her more than her love.

41 times everyone said goodbye.

41 times she had to pick up the pieces.

41 times she was told she was ugly.

41 times she was reminded of her past.

41 times she hated herself. times she fell apart.

41 times she was thrown away.

41 times she was called crazy.

41 times she was not alright.

41 times she felt worthless.

41 times she felt empty.

41 times she was lost.

41 times her thoughts plagued her.

41 times she was hated.

41 times she found comfort in blood.

41 times we didn't notice her pain.

41 times the chemicals didn't help.

41 times we could have stopped her.

41 times she was scared of herself.

41 times she wasn't loved.

41 times she messed up.

41 times she worried to much.

41 times she was sick of it all.

41 times she was a er.

41 times she couldn't sleep.

41 times I didn't help.

She rolled down her sleeves to cover her scars.

42 to be exact."

Jae's breathing was shallow and shaky.  She some how held in the tears that were threatening to roll down her face.  Around the edges of the canvas there was a red ribbon that in the middle of the poem was cut from the ribbon that twisted around the girl.  "The red string of fate.  What was the story with it?"  Key looked up at the ceiling, trying to recall the story, "Doesn't it connect soul mates or something like that.  We've all got a red string attached to us, and on the other end is the person we are meant to be with.  Right?"  Taemin nodded.  The boys started to move away, leaving Jae behind.  She was still staring wide eyed at the poem.  Key glanced back, just as the first tear escaped down her face.  He bit his lip and steered the two boys away from the girl.  Luckily, the poems had almost been hidden in the corner behind a large paper divider so he didn't have to worry too much about someone else stumbling upon her like that.

After Jun and Taemin were distracted with other poems and people, Key went back to 41.  Jae was sitting on the ground, her legs pulled up to her chest and her face buried into her arms.  Key couldn't even hear her crying, but could tell she was by the heaving of her shoulders.  He sat down next to her and watched her for a few minutes.   She finally pulled her head up for air and he gave her a soft smile.  Jae grimaced and looked away, wiping at the tears streaming down her face.  Key reached out and ruffled her hair.  She turned to look at him, and he let his hand slide down to her cheek and wiped a tear away with his thumb.  He paid close attention to her eyes.  He could almost see her struggling to rebuild the walls that had crashed down around her.  Key leaned forward and wrapped his arms around the girl, his hand stoking her hair.  He could feel her frail boy shutter as she tried to control herself.  When he quiet sobs had died out and she seemed to have relaxed, he pulled away.

Jae awkwardly stood up, and turned away, hiding her puffy eyes.  Key did the same, but motioned towards the door to the girls bathroom.  Jae nodded and made her way into it.  She ducked into a stall and slid down the closed door, releasing a shaky breath.  The tears began to surge again and she struggled to keep them in.  The door to the bathroom opened, and a group of girls came in.  "Did you see that ?"  One said, her heels clicking towards the sinks.  "Yeah, what gives her the right to be all over our oppas.  I mean seriously, I can handle Hae being around them, because she is at least pretty and amazing.  But, it bothers me that Jae is with them too."  Another replied.  Jae's eyes widened and she forced her sobs to stop, hoping not to be revealed.  She had been in this situation all too many times and knew what would happen if she was found out.  "Did you notice that Key and her went missing for a while.  I bet the reason that they even put up with her is because she'll give them free service."  The first girl said, with a small laugh at the end.  A third girl spoke, "I don't know why they'd want it from her though, she is so disgusting looking.  I think maybe they are just being nice to her because they know that nobody cares about her."

The knot in Jae's stomach had grown with each word and finally she couldn't hold it.  She lunged forward and emptied the little that was in her stomach into the porcelain toilet.  The girls outside stopped talking.  After she was done heaving, one of the girl came and tapped on the door to her stall, "Are you alright?"  Jae's mind went into autopilot replaying all of the things that the girls had said.  It added in her own thoughts, making the entire thing worse.  She stood and opened the stall door, pushing past the shocked girl that was standing before her.  She ignored the other two and a faucet, sloshing the water in as she had done oh so many times before.  Finally, after the aftertaste was gone, she turned to the girls, examining each of them separately.  

"If you want YOUR oppas so bad, then why don't you talk to them."  Jae spoke, with an icy edge.  The two looked towards the girl that had been the one to start the conversation, "Because we know our place.  We're not trying to make ourselves better and show off with them."  Jae rolled her eyes, "You think I really need them to show off?  I am the eldest daughter to the Jang Group.  I have the highest scores in the school.  I am fluent in four languages and have studied for years in Europe.  But, when have I ever flaunted any of that?  And, why would I need them to do so?"  "Because no one likes you."  The girl said.  A wicked smile spread across Jae's face, "Good, then we're all on the same page."  She turned abruptly and walked out of the bathroom, leaving the girl's with confused looks.