In between all his appointments that morning he wasn't able to call Donghae at all, so he ended up meeting his family for lunch, still wanting to hear from his lover. I'll make sure to call him this afternoon, hoping not to disturb him…

"Mom, dad, follow me into the restaurant, I made them prepare a table just for us" he said once they met in the lobby. They seemed to be calm, especially his mother, but he wasn't sure how his father was feeling to be sincere. What did she say to him? Did he know he was at Donghae's the night before? He didn't know, and he was afraid to ask; the only thing he could do was wait for his father to make a move and ask himself if he had doubts. It was the first time they ate at the hotel, and he was surprised that his father actually took an hour to go there too, usually, he had quick meals at the cafeteria of his company; other times he just asked his secretary to bring some sandwich to his office, but he, in general, didn't go back home to have lunch with them. He always thought that he didn't want to see him when he was in town, but maybe he was just working hard.

I was so stubborn back then.

They sat down at a table for three that the staff prepared just next to the kitchen, it wasn't a good place for normal guests because it felt isolated and it felt surely less important, but for them that needed some privacy and fast service was the best; above all, from there they could see perfectly the rest of the hall and inspect the behavior of both the costumers and waiters, to see if everything was working well. As they sat down they noticed that some reporters were sitting at a table close to them and Hyukjae was facing them.

"Change place with me" his mother said standing up, before he could even sit down properly "I don't like facing the kitchen" she said in a slightly higher tone, then she blinked at him. She was so smart indeed, that way at least he didn't have to eat seeing those annoying people. They were like vultures, always in search of new scandals, and surely they were going to try catching their conversation.

"Ok mom" he replied smiling softly at her and adjusting the chair after she sat, just like a real gentleman. Once they were settled down, this time for real, he informed them that he already ordered the lunch that morning  "I asked them to prepare us a quick and simple meal because I know dad has to return work soon" he said.

"Good then, so Hyukjae, how are you?" his mother asked tilting her head. He nodded and smiled.

"I'm fine and the reporters seemed to believe my story this morning…" he said with a lower tone "I don't know about Donghae but I'll call him after to know if everything went well" he added, not sure if he could say that or not.

Then like a lightning it came, one of the questions he feared the most, and right at the moment the food was served "so what were you doing at his house for the whole night?" his father asked, his face serious but casual, as if he was asking something normal, just something about the weather… he froze. He didn't know what to reply at all. He was scared, but he needed to say something.

"I…" he muttered and he found his throat to be absolutely dry, what was the right answer? Maybe a half truth wasn't that bad "I needed to talk to him, to clarify some things about our relationship, we almost lost ourselves because of that article" he finished. He drank some water and looking down at his plate he decided that maybe it was better to act more relaxed and eat something.

"So you two already planned to meet after the party?" damn dad why are you asking so many questions? But indeed he needed to, he was the father, and he had been surely worried for him too. His face contracted a bit and a frown appeared on his forehead, his mouth trembling slightly.

"Your father was worried for you too this morning when we heard you weren't here as we expected…so it's normal for him to ask a bit" his mother interrupted suddenly using a low tone that was barely audible, reaching out a hand and grabbing the one of her husband. She was both asking him mutely not to ask too much and at the same time she was begging her son to be patient and answer a bit. To be sincere it was even the time for his father to know, he was already 30 and he had been homoual since the first day he remembered, so maybe his father needed to know it too. The problem was how, and when…it was so scary, what if he decided to hate him for real this time?

"I know…it's ok, no we didn't plan it beforehand. Actually dad I asked him not to talk to me for the last few days, so even if I wanted I couldn’t have organized something like that" he was talking with them comfortably, because the low tone of his voice was easily covered by the sounds of the big room, and even the kitchen that was near them was a protection from eavesdroppers. This fact gave him the strength to continue " I went out to clear my mind a bit and he found me wandering in the streets, that's why he brought me to his house to talk, I would have told you but I was really tired to come back here" his father looked at him, not a change in his expression, not even an imperceptible move of his eyebrows. He can be frightening when he looks at me like this, with no emotions showing.

"I see…is your relationship fine now?" this time the man stopped looking at him and decided to look down at the steak he was cutting, before eating a bite of it. He decided deliberately not to look at him while asking something like that or was it just a case?

"Honey, your meal will get cold if you keep asking all these questions" the woman said "let's eat a bit ok?" she added looking at both her men before starting to eat again.

"Yes dad…our relationship is perfect " he muttered, the words coming out so fast to be thought clearly "but we won't cause any scandal…not now" he added. what was that? He immediately regretted saying that. It was like admitting that they were together in that way. His mother blinked twice and had a hard time trying not to choke, especially in front of the reporters that kept an eye on them. She just fanned her face and drank some water.

"Ah this piece was too hot…" she said then she smiled. But the atmosphere was cold and immobile in that state of uncertainty that made his heart tremble in fear. His father wasn't slow nor too old to misunderstand what he just said. He only clenched his fist around the knife a bit when he heard his sentence, but he didn't do anything more. Not a strange look in his direction, not a word, the man only kept eating quickly his meal, then he looked at his watch and stood up.

"It's getting late, I should go now" he kissed his wife's forehead and without turning back at his son he greeted them and went out of the room with a quick "sorry" almost whispered. He didn't know if that sorry meant something, or if it was meant for his mother to hear only, but still, he left, leaving him there like an idiot. It was a matter of fact, he indirectly told him everything with just one sentence.

He sat there looking in front of him, blinking slowly, his sight was blurred and he was starting to get extremely uncomfortable. It wasn't real, it couldn't have been, it was too early to let him know, how did it slip out of his mouth like that?

"Hyukjae darling…let's finish our meals quickly too so that you can start working again, I don't want to take your time" his mother said touching his hand and smiling. She was good, her expression was flawless, she didn't show any surprise when her husband stood up, even if she knew he must have been shocked; she didn't blink or cough to cover embarrassment, she acted as an adult, as the responsible and classy adult she was and he needed to be as composed as her.

"Ye…yes, let's finish quickly"

~

His mother accompanied him in his office after lunch, or at least that was her excuse to be alone with him for a moment, without having to act normal. They closed the door and finally the fake smile on both their faces disappeared, Hyukjae let his legs bring him towards one armchair where he fell weakly and the woman followed him immediately sitting on the other one. "What happened out there?" she asked. I don't know, I don't know, I DON'T KNOW… "Hyukjae…are you ok?"

"I'm not…mom what have I done? I wasn't supposed to say it like that. It happened, and now I can't go back" he replied sobbing. He felt so idiotic, it was the first time he said something like that to his father, plus even if being direct happened once in a while in the past, he never was that direct about himself. That only fact, that small, or rather huge, detail was all his life and self. He was always a bit different from what they wanted, because he wasn't what they expected him to be, and he always struggled so much to hide the fact he was homoual, but now, everything looked so fragile.

"Don't be like this. You were meant to tell him anyway no? It isn't something a parent would like to discover from a magazine or on tv…the day the article came out he was really stressed. I asked him what worried him the most and…you know what he told me?" the woman talked slowly and calmly, she needed to be the strong one, she probably knew that her family needed some time to process this new thing; it wasn't new to her heart, but she was a mother and she understood it way before, her husband instead, he really needed time to adjust.

"What?" he whispered, not being sure if it was a good thing to know.

"The worst part is not knowing if it's true or not, and the fact I'm seeing this thing at the same time as the rest of the people. I'm his father, and I don't know how he is feeling now, that's what he told me. Hyukjae I told you he'll eventually understand it too, give him some time to think over it. Maybe it's even better this way, you told him immediately as it started…" she caressed his hand and smiled "come on, don't be so lifeless" she added patting strongly his leg.

He looked at her and tried to smile, she was right maybe, he told him, so what? He needed to know he was his father, the sooner he knew the sooner he was going to discover what he thought of it. As easy as it sounded it made him feel like . Why did I have to say it like that, I wanted to be…"more special" he muttered.

"What?" his mother asked getting closer and furrowing.

"I wanted it to be more special" he repeated blushing "I know it sounds silly but, it should have been a real conversation, in private, with me ready to tell and him ready to listen, and I ruined it all. He asked me and I just told him. You know mom…Donghae told me that he wasn't going to lie anymore, if someone asked him directly he was going to tell the truth, now I think I know what he meant. It's like my heart speaks for me when he is mentioned, and I can't help but be honest with the people around me" he explained, blushing even more, and this time hiding the silly smile that appeared on his lips the moment he thought of his lover.

"You are right, this wasn't the best moment, but oh well let's not cry over spilled milk. You are a man or not? Show some strength! Plus you still have to tell me what happened" his mother could really be so positive if she wanted, and she was strong;  he needed her so much growing up, and he regretted not having her, but he was still young and they had many years ahead.

"Right" he smiled "as I told dad I was wandering without a destination and he rescued me. I was so confused those past few days and I ended up not talking to him…but oh well you saw me so you already know that. Now he knows how I feel and we decided to start a real relationship. Mom he is my boyfriend, for real this time" he said smiling at her. She was serious for a bit and listened to every single word, then she smiled, stood up, and hugged him.

"I'm proud of you Hyukjae, because you decided to follow your heart, with no fear, and you are being this honest. It seems just a bad dream the time we spent fighting, and now…look at you, such a big boy I have, and you almost grew up by yourself. I'm thankful to Donghae for bringing back your smile, something I tried so hard to do and failed miserably for years. I don't care if you like men, you are a good person my son and I'll support you" she said, her voice broken by the warm tears that were lining her face. She tightened the hug a bit and rested her cheek on her son's head, caressing gently his hair "my boy is a man already" she added sobbing. She was warm, so warm that he immediately felt better, more at ease, her strength from a few moments before almost fading away, revealing her for what she was, just a mother, just his mother, the best he could have wished for.

~

The woman greeted him soon after their chat, she asked him how the hotel seemed to be doing on the first day and she asked him to cheer up and be more positive. He felt nice even when she left, because even if what happened was too fast for his brain to process, he somehow felt relieved. He didn't have to hide that thing anymore, at least not at home; his father was going to like it or not but at least he had been clear.

He sat behind his desk and he was about to take his phone out to call Donghae when someone knocked on the door, it was Minyoon telling him that some of the guests wanted to see him in the lobby. Ok then, work first. He smiled at her and stood up, he didn't know why they were calling him out but he was the director, and if there was any problem he needed to know.

He met with the people that were waiting for him in the lounge, it was a refined couple, they were probably in their fifties and they both looked quite classy. The man stood up and reached out a hand to shake his, while the woman only bowed to Hyukjae. He greeted them and ask them to sit again while he sat on the armchair in front of them. As they started to speak he soon realized that there wasn't anything to be worried about, they were just praising his work and telling him how they enjoyed the party and their stay there for the night. They were probably someone his father knew, but he didn't remember at all having met them before, maybe when he was a young boy, but he wasn't sure. It was nice sitting there with them, for the first time someone was appreciating his work, they were satisfied with the rooms, they liked the service because the staff was really well mannered and always ready to help "I almost feel ashamed to confess this, but I wanted to test the hotel a bit so I called for room service in the middle of the night. Everybody was polite and willing and we were served pretty fast. I like how the people around here look neat and they are always smiling" the woman said making him even more proud.

"Something I found extremely different from other places is the behavior of the people here. I don't know if it will be always like this, but this morning I happened to see a scene that definitely made my day better. There is this feeling among the workers that make the hotel work like a good machine, they respect each other" the man added. Hyukjae smiled tilting his head, but he wanted to know what the man saw that made him say such a nice thing.

"What scene, if I can ask?"

"Oh nothing important I guess, but I was going out of my room this morning and I saw the one in charge of our floor talking to the lady that cleans the rooms and he was talking to her with good manners. I know that people usually think that if you are rich those things don't bother you, but in my case, those are the little details that make the world work better" the man explained and Hyukjae felt proud, yes the staff was behaving just the right way, even behind his back they acted well.

"We are like a family here I guess, I asked them the best and they give me the best, meanwhile I put all my effort to make things work keeping them on guard. Did you like our cuisine too?" he asked smiling.

"Yes everything was perfect, the taste was good and the food was still light and delicate. Please tell the chef that we enjoyed the meal well and we are looking forward to the dinner tonight" the wife replied. Her warm smile was really nice, and that only thing made him definitely happy; of course, the fact that there was a reporter sitting on a sofa near them that was faking reading a newspaper and listening to them, made him even more proud. Did you want to catch some scoop? There you go, write this in your magazine, "the guests were satisfied from the first day and they even talked personally with the director". He needed something like that to happen, because it made him realize he was doing fine, he only needed to keep working seriously like that, waking up every day with new strength and hoping to never get tired of his work.

He kept talking with that couple for quite a bit before greeting them and letting them know that they helped him so much and that for sure they were going to be welcomed every time they wanted a room there, hoping to have them again soon. Even when he returned to his office his work wasn't done, because he had to deal with some clients and some suppliers on the phone, and he needed to reply to calls and emails. The hotel was officially opened, and all the work he did in the past seemed nothing if compared to all the things a director had to deal with every day, and that was only the first one. But indeed he was lucky, he liked his work and the time passed quickly like that.

~

When the time came, he finally was able to switch off the light in his office and came out of there. He greeted the girls at the reception and the few other people he met while walking towards the door, he greeted the two guys there too and then walked towards his parking lot.

Once he arrived in front of his car he smiled widely, there, laying on one side there was Donghae, he had his arms and legs crossed and he was smiling at him. He wanted to run in his direction and hug him, and kiss him, but the only thing he could do was wave at him and ask "why are you here?"

"I came because you told me you were going to call…but you never did" the guy replied raising an eyebrow. He was right he forgot.

"I'm sorry, I was busy all the day…so you are here because of that?" he walked quickly towards him and caressed him with his eyes, he couldn't have done more, because they were surrounded by people and reporters were somewhere around too.

"Oh well, yes, and I came with a taxi so now you have to give me a lift home in your expensive car" Donghae said tilting his head to the side as to point the car behind him, then he smiled at him again. God how I missed his eyes smile, he is so adorable when he looks at me like this.

"Ok then, jump in!" that said they both opened their respective doors and sat inside. Hyukjae quickly started the engine and took off, he didn't want anyone to see them or to follow them, so he simply went out of the parking and drove away. "I didn't expect to see you there actually" he admitted after a bit, looking at his boyfriend. Donghae smiled and reached out a hand to caress his tight since he couldn't grab his hand that was on the wheel.

"I was missing you like crazy so I came for a quick visit instead of calling, I imagined you were busy that's why you didn't call…still I wanted to hear your voice before going home today" his voice came out even more gentle than the caress itself, and Hyukjae felt all giddy inside.

"You know how much I wanted to kiss you the moment I saw you? Too bad I couldn't…but thank you for this amazing surprise" he said giggling and looking at the road instead.

The other squeezed his thigh a bit and replied "You're welcome. So how was your day?" he asked.

"Oh well…where to start? The reporters this morning totally fell for my act, I had a busy morning and had lunch with my parents…something happened but then I had a good afternoon and I met some nice guests at the hotel" he said. He wanted to tell Donghae what happened yet he felt like putting some suspense, and of course, it worked.

"What? What happened?" the guy asked immediately.

"Uh nothing…I just told my father accidentally that we are dating…or at least he understood it from what I said" he explained. Telling it to him made him feel even better than before, it felt so right and surely the other was going to be happy about it.

"Oh my god…really? So what happened?" the excitement in his voice almost made him feel guilty, nothing was decided yet, but Donghae sounded so happy.

"Don't be too excited, he left immediately after hearing it and he didn't even make a comment or looked at me…we'll just wait…ok? " it was the truth after all, and he needed to know it too. He wasn't going to hide anything from him anymore, they were a couple and being honest was a must.

"Ok, I'll wait, don't worry" the other replied smiling, then he sighed "I don't want to go home too early…even if I can't kidnap you today, let's go somewhere nice and stop the car for a bit so that I can look at your eyes while we talk" he asked, and he didn't even have to insist much on that matter as Hyukjae the left blinker to change the route. He needed some time too, he wanted to tell him how he felt and he wanted to hold his hand at least for a moment, without anyone to look at them.

They reached a nice viewpoint and he stopped the car, took off his belt and turned around "is here good?" he asked smiling and raising an eyebrow.

"Actually even if you brought me in front of a wall I would have been happy" Donghae replied turning around too and grabbing his hand "I've wanted to hold your hand from the moment I saw you" he squeezed his hand gently in between his warm ones and pulled it a bit, just enough to get it close to his cheek "but I couldn't even greet you properly" he added.

"Let's forget the rest of the world for a bit then" He replied, "do you want to get out?" he asked, but the other shook his head then he reached out and pulled the small lever underneath the guy's seat and let him lay down a bit; then he did the same for his own seat and laid on his side looking at the guy now in front of him. Hyukjae loved the fact his boyfriend was always so comfortable around him, comfortable enough to feel free to do something like that, even if it wasn't his car; but he didn't need to ask of course. He put his right hand under his cheek to lay more comfortably and reached out his left hand, moving his fingers as to mutely ask him to grab it, his palm was already feeling cold without the other to hold it.

Donghae smiled, but instead of grabbing his hand he moved forward and kissed his lips softly, ah he needed it so much. No one was around and they were laying there comfortably, almost as being on a date, but a little bit more furtive and risky, something that gave him goosebumps of pleasure. The kiss was short, unfortunately, so when the other pulled away and grabbed his hand instead of his lips, he pouted, but it felt nice like that too. He pushed the button on the ceiling of the car and the small window there opened revealing the night sky; it was still early, probably half past seven, but the winter nights came early and the sky had such a great color in Seoul, never too dark, yet in some places, it was still possible to see the stars. "I love you Hae, I really do, and now that my father knows I feel more relieved. I shouldn't have lied to him all this while but I was afraid…I still am, but it can't be helped, when it comes to you I can't lie to my heart anymore" he was too embarrassed to look at him directly so he focused on his hand instead, playing with his fingers, tangling them together with his own, smiling like an idiot.

"Silly" was the only thing the other said before getting closer once again to kiss him; this time it was a sweeter kiss, he his lips gently, going from one side to the other, as if he was afraid not to kiss every single inch enough. Hyukjae smiled in the kiss and got impossibly closer to him, opening his mouth just enough to let the other play with his tongue. That was a kiss, the kiss he waited for, not that peek from before.

They pulled away satisfied this time but yet they refused to stop holding hands "So how was your day?" he asked.

"It was nice, I was able to manage the reporters with no problem and at the office I had normal work to do. I only missed you, but now I'm fine" Donghae said, then he closed his eyes "it still feels like a dream" he whispered.

Yes it does.

~