He arrived in his office pretty early the following morning, he needed to avoid all those stupid paparazzi, I'll sleep there a bit instead. So when at 6:30 he arrived in his room and closed the door he sighed in relief before taking off his clothes. He couldn't stay home, it was impossible, they were going to bring the tables and chairs that day and the covers and table clothes were ready too,  the party was soon and the last things needed to be done.

The bed was cold, even if the room had a nice temperature, and once he was completely and he rushed on it he felt shivers shaking his whole body; it was nice actually, he liked that refreshing feeling as much as the smoothness of the sheets. He caressed the pillow lightly and then hugged it, he was feeling tired and annoyed. The only good thing that had happened to him was his father being gentle and his mother being the great woman she was. He turned around and looked at the ceiling, it was weird how easier it was to think looking up at there, as if it was a white canvas to paint with the multiple colors of his thoughts.

He thought about his mother and the fact that she already knew his secret, he thought about the warm hand his father put on his shoulder, giving him the strength to go on…he thought about Donghae, an entire day without hearing him and he was already missing his voice, his words, not to mention his face. He sighed I need to sleep a bit at least, it's going to be a long day.

~

The first thing to do the moment he got up was to quickly put back his clothes because he didn't want Minyoon to come in and find him once again, then he watered the flowers, he needed something to distract his mind a bit, and he even changed the places of some objects on the shelves. He was getting anxious because he needed to ask the girl to go with him to the party and he was afraid she was going to be bothered by it, maybe she could have even felt embarrassed. But it wasn't anything weird he was asking, he needed to calm down and wait for her, especially because he needed to watch the preparations in the restaurant as soon as he was done with that matter.

The girl was startled the moment she came inside the room, of course, she wasn't expecting him to be there, not after what happened and even less that early in the morning. He smirked satisfied as he saw her bringing her hand on his chest "oh my, director you scared me!" she said in a low voice, trying to breathe normally. He was sitting on one of the armchairs, his legs crossed were resting on the chair in front of him and he had his hands tangled on his lap. He moved his legs first and pointing at the other seat he smiled at the girl.

"Minyoon good morning, I'm glad to see you too…please sit down" he said, he was amused by her reaction. She sighed and closed the door before walking towards him and sitting down.

"I should get used to this…and maybe knock. It's just you know, I didn't expect you to be here" she said looking embarrassed by her behavior.

"It's ok, after all you saw me going home yesterday evening…but I had to come early to avoid those paparazzi…you know they invaded my house yesterday, oh well the garden at least" he said shrugging. He didn’t like to think about it.

"Ah yes, I saw it…I saw the pictures…are you ok?" she added with a lower tone, not sure if she could ask.

"Yes…sorta" he replied quickly, not looking directly in her direction.

"I know I shouldn't be concerned, but…have you talked with your friend? Are you really ok whit what happened?"  the girl asked looking sad and worried. She was sincerely sorry for him, she knew he loved Donghae, and it was pointless to hide it from her.

"I'm not ok…I'm feeling like Minyoon, and I had a hard time switching on the phone today…he hasn't called yet but I know he will during the morning, the problem is I don't want to talk to him, not now. I need to concentrate on this party first" he replied being completely sincere with her, finding it so easy to tell her whatever was on his mind. Wow it feels like I'm talking to a friend I've always known.

"You should care for yourself more instead, but if you don't want to talk to him now you should just tell him…instead of being in fear he will call. If I can help you with anything let me know director" she was so kind, and direct at the same time. No other would probably have had the courage to tell him something like that, and in such a relaxed way. He smiled, she was right, she totally could do something for him.

"Actually, there is one thing you can do for me…I hope you won't feel offended by my request" he said nodding and closing his eyes, to look more serious.

"What is it?" she was surprised, and suddenly she looked worried too. Oh well you were the one saying you wanted to help.

"Ahahah don't tense up, is nothing that weird actually. My parents thought that having someone by my side during the party could make the reporters forget about this matter for a bit. You are a pretty girl, you are smart and you are my secretary….almost…so, can you be the one by my side for that day?" he spoke slowly, wanting to explain everything to her clearly, trying to sound even sorry for asking her something like that. She was invited to the party to enjoy it, but if she had to be by his side she needed to be alert, talk to people, smile and act well, because they were going to notice her…basically, there was no fun and no way to enjoy a party, not even to eat freely.

The girl looked surprised, then she looked confused and looked away, thinking, it didn't seem a good idea to her. Still, she seemed to be thinking about it seriously, she bit her lower lip and rested her back on the chair, sitting more comfortably before looking back at him "ok, I'll do it, but I'm not a sophisticated girl, and I don't know how to act when people expect something from me so I'm not probably the best person" she replied.

"Actually you are the best choice. Because I don't want a fake girlfriend, I prefer a real person, someone I can trust and that works with me…I will present you as my secretary, we won't lie, but still you'll look great next to me, because you are so pretty. Ah give me your size" he added suddenly taking his phone out of his pocket, and sighing seeing there were already some missed calls...Donghae please don't.

The girls blushed and sat straight on the chair again "no…I mean, why should I tell you? I don't want to give you my size director this is too embarrassing…director? is everything ok?" she noticed he wasn't paying much attention to her, because he was looking absently at the screen of his phone, thinking about Donghae. She reached out a hand and touched lightly his knee "director, did something happened?" she asked looking up into his eyes.

He blinked twice and shook his head "yeah…it's fine! Call my mother then and tell her directly if you don't want me to know the size. Here" that said he dialed the number and gave her the phone, almost as if he wanted to get rid of it as soon as possible.

~

Once the girl ended her call, she went towards him, he was looking out of the window, his hands in his pockets, his glance lost in the space of the garden "she said she is coming…so you planned to make me wear some dress?" she asked. He turned around and looked at her.

"I hadn't planned anything…is all my mother's doing, she wants you to look…I don't know" he said taking his phone back.

"Richer!" she replied crossing her arms " I'm not offended by it, it's pointless to be, we all know I can't afford a good dress…not good enough to be next to you" then she sighed and looked out of the window too "I'll do my best to be a good and pretty sidekick" that said she looked at him grinning and showing her fingers in a v shape. Cute. He laughed.

"Thank you" he said " you'll be a pretty sidekick for sure…should I call you Robin?"

"Not funny, director! I don't want to be a male with a ridiculous costume. Anyway, please be more lively, today we have many things to do and the people that are supposed to cover chairs and tables will arrive in an hour. Meanwhile, our staff is placing everything as you instructed" she said patting his shoulder.

"I know…is just he keeps calling and every time I see his missed calls or messages…I feel bad again, but I can't forget about the phone because I'm waiting for the call from the florist, he is supposed to bring here his refrigerated truck with the flowers. What should I do? I see you are more logical than me right now" he asked looking pitifully at her.

"Oh well…I shouldn't say this, but if it was me, I would just tell him not to call now…when you'll feel like it, you'll call him, I'm sure of that" she smiled "but I know I'm weird so do as you prefer" she added quickly.

"I think I'll send him a message actually…" he said, looking down at his phone…he had received another message. But he didn't want to read it yet.

"I'll go out to see how is it going in the restaurant when your mother arrives I'll come back, so relax for this short time, I'll bring you something to eat from the kitchen" the girl said bowing and going out quickly. He nodded and smiled, he was hungry actually.

He sat down on his desk chair and looked at his phone again, he was alone, and he felt his sadness coming back quickly. He preferred to talk with others, to be surrounded by people. Luckily that day was going to be busy, because when he was alone he felt lonely, and he felt the urge to call him. He clenched his fist and decided to do something, he couldn't continue like that. I'll follow her advice I guess. He opened the message creator and started to type.

- Stop calling me- ah no this looks so bad. It's like an order, delete.

- I don't want to hear you- ah this is so mean.

-…just  sto - no! this is horrible.

- I don't want to talk to you now…please don't call- whatever, I'll send this, it's the less bad I can think of. But still, I hope he won't feel too bad about it. At the same time maybe if he hates me it's better, if he is able to forget me… he was so absorbed by his thoughts that when the door of the room flew opened he was startled and pressed the screen of his phone. , I sent it, I had my finger on there…I don't know if it was right.

"Hyukjae dear please move that chair a bit we need more space" his mother said entering the room followed by a porter that was pushing a metallic rack with some clothes hidden inside dark bags. He nodded and placed the phone on his desk, before going to help her.

~

Once the door was closed and only the three of them were inside they started to unpack the clothes, there was something in red, but she looked too short in that model, so his mother made her change again and quickly. Then she tried on a light purple dress but it looked so old style, it was too lucid and it made her look like a plastic pipe, plus it wrinkled too much. Ugly. It was funny, sitting there, drinking tea and eating some biscuits the girl had brought before. It was definitely funny. Especially because with every dress she looked more embarrassed and annoyed. She didn't like to try on those dresses because they weren't her style, plus she was so afraid to ruin them; mostly it was because his mother kept reminding her that those things were expensive as and that they were just borrowing them, as if they needed to put more pressure on her shoulders. Thinking of it, her shoulders were a nice point in her body "I think we need to uncover the upper part a bit more" he said suddenly, making the girl blush and his mother widen her eyes "what? Why are you two looking at me like that? You perfectly know is not because I'm a or something…I just think her collar bones look nice, so we should show them" of course he didn't disdain a nice pair of s in a good dress, but he wasn't interested in them if not for a purely aesthetic reason. The female body was one of the best things Mother Nature created, and not looking at it was pointless, especially when it was nice as Minyoon's one, she needed to look more feminine, showing off her best parts, still keeping it classy.

His mother sighed and stood up to go near the girl, once she was there she pulled up her long curly hair to see better her neck, and smiling she said "you are right, her neck is like the one of a swan, is totally bad to cover it, then I have the best dress for her body shape" that said she walked happily towards the dresses and picked a dark one, they left it there because it looked too dark, but it was stupid, it wasn't like she needed to be dressed like the flowers in the room. With that dress the woman picked up immediately a pair of shoes too, black high sandals decorated with a myriad of tiny, small and medium dark crystals that made them look even more precious "go and try it…I'm really curious to see this one. Ah use something to pull your hair up… a hair band or something, please" the woman said handing her the shoes and pushing her lightly towards the bathroom. Once Minyoon was inside and had closed the door, she sat down near her son again "you'll see, this one will be perfect" she said squeezing his thigh a bit.

When the girl came out of the bathroom they both stood there in awe, she was even prettier than before. She was blushing lightly, maybe not liking how uncovered the upper part was, yet she wasn't vulgar at all. The dress was actually not black as it seemed but a dark shade of blue with a particular fabric that shone when the light touched it directly. It was made of two parts, one was the short and sleeveless sheath dress, with a heart-shaped low cut on her nice décolleté; while right under the chest line there was a long piece of black tulle, that wasn't closed on the front, so when she was walking revealing her milky long legs, the fabric was moving graciously. The second skirt was basically touching the ground making the dress look more elegant, and the touch of style were the shoes, so simple yet pretty, and she had such perfect ankles "Wow Minyoon you look gorgeous with this" Hyukjae said clapping.

"Please director…doesn't it look too much?" she asked blushing, covering her chest with one hand and her legs with the other.

"Silly, this is classy, and don't worry, you aren't showing too much, because you don't have big s so it fits elegantly, and your legs are partially uncovered…you are really pretty don't worry" the woman replied instead, going near her and adjusting the dress a bit "it's perfect, just the right image I want next to my son. We won't put a necklace, just one nice brooch on the neckline, because I want your neck free"  she added, she looked definitely happy with that.

They were done, Minyoon accepted, her dress was gorgeous and she was going to be the prettiest at the party, the only thing they needed to do was the rest of the work at the hotel that day. His mother went home after taking a short tour at the lounge and restaurant, seeing that everything was going fine, and then he finally was alone again, ready to work.

~

One thing he wanted to do, that seemed so important for him, was to tell the rest of the staff that was working that morning, about him and Minyoon, he didn't want them to misunderstand, not him and even less her, she was working so hard and he didn't like someone badmouthing about her. As always the people that surrounded him were the best, they didn't seem bothered by the fact, instead, the cook that went out of the kitchen just for his short explanatory speech added something "There wasn't anything bad about it in fact, because we all know Minyoon well, and she is a good kid. But the fact that you decided to clarify it with all of us shows once again that you care about this hotel and about our team. Director, we are going to be by your side, so don't worry" the cook was older than him, and his voice came out as a caress, like the one of an older brother. He felt grateful, he was lucky he met such people, but after all his mother had chosen them, so there was no way they were bad.

~

In the last two days of preparations, the room was ready, the decorations looked perfect, the only thing left was taking off the scaffolding to reveal the façade and finally open the hotel to the public; more than that there was another thing to do, survive to the party itself, to all those questioning glances, to all the words, the questions and all the chatting he was going to do with people. He felt already nervous and he couldn't even sleep for the whole night before.

The morning of the party he arrived early at the hotel because he wanted to see the preview of the façade and the garden, it was perfect, so pretty and elegant. The flowers were already there and some workers were placing them in the right places, the day was busy, and even if the preparations went well they felt like they needed to fix every single detail till the last moment.

Once the time was coming closer he went into his office to change into a more elegant suit end to style his hair a bit, they called a makeup artist because he wanted to look perfect, even if she was mostly there to put makeup on the girls of the night, his mother and Minyoon. They looked definitely perfect when the lady had finished, touching up their hair too, and he and his father smiled satisfied. It felt weird, looking at such a pretty girl, smiling at her, next to his father, he wished he could have been like anyone else, if she was his girlfriend his family wouldn't have to suffer for his choices. She was just the perfect daughter in law to be, smart and funny, the right height with heels and without, just perfect next to him, and she was a hard worker.

Perfect, the only problem is I would never love you, and since I respect you I would never put you in such a situation where you wouldn't feel loved. For today…thank you and I'm sorry. He was thinking about that sentence quite often lately, and it was funny and at the same time sad, he had so many things to be thankful for and the same amount, if not more, to be sorry… I'm such a useless man.

~

Despite the article and all the rumors around him and the hotel, every single guest invited arrived, the reporters too, and everybody had dressed accordingly to the code they specified on the invitation card.

"Bowtie and blazer needed for men. It will be appreciated if no guest dresses in white".

It was stupid to dress in white, it wasn't a marriage and there was no bride, and more than that no one wanted to be en pendant with the upholstery. His sidekick was definitely the most beautiful in that big room, and she was able to manage any kind of question with a classy answer. He presented her as her secretary to everybody,  and they all seemed to appreciate her class and savoir faire, someone even tried to ask if they were going out, but they managed to skip that silly question.

He was acting normal and relaxed, while inside he was exploding. All the people that were surely ready to criticize him just a few days before, were there, with their fake faces and smiles, telling him how good the hotel was and how talented he surely was going to be. Fake people everywhere. He was feeling uncomfortable and stuffed, he needed air, and instead, he was walking from one place to the other, chatting with everybody like a good householder would have done. Smiling, letting the reporters take pics of him from every angle. The food was good, and he perfectly knew it, but every time he let someone see him pick something, commenting the food with the random stranger that was near the buffet, he ended up leaving the plate somewhere, trying not to be found; his stomach was closed, there was no way he was going to eat anything.

It could even get worse for him actually, because suddenly, he noticed that people were turning around towards the door, walking in, there in the middle of whispering people, there was Donghae, him in his gorgeous skin, his dress, that was actually perfect, looked shabby if compared with his face and figure. His hair was great, his way of walking inside in between surprised people, gracious, he looked so handsome. He walked in with his mother, of course, he needed a companion and she was invited too. Both of them were just elegant, simply elegant. He felt like his whole world was ending, he saw Donghae, and he missed him so much still his look was different, he was cold, he was…a normal guest.

The two reached him and his father, why do I have to be near him right now! They need to greet of course. Donghae bowed lightly and reached out a hand, no it wasn't to shake Hyukjae's one, it was towards his father  "Mr. Lee, sorry we arrived a bit late, but we found traffic, nice party" he said smiling. It was so bright that he felt almost like closing his eyes. Then the guy smiled at him and reached out his hand to shake his too. He gulped but without showing his anxiety, or at least hoping it wasn't showing, he shook his hand "hello Hyukjae, you did a good job with the preparations" cold. His voice was cold, his smile was cold, his eyes…just not as lively as usual. The man in front of him wasn't his Donghae, he didn't know him, he was stiff and educated, but he wasn't the guy he knew, the simple man who liked to hug him, even a simple handshake with him was an invasion of light and joy. But not that day, he was…just another guest, and as he came he went away, away from him, towards the buffet, towards the other side of the room. He kept looking at him once every few minutes, he wanted to see with whom he was talking, he wanted to see if he was eating, if he smiled.  Every moment more he felt dizzier, and the people stopping him to chat weren't surely helping him. Luckily the girl was with him, because when he wasn't able to reply she always cut it on with a smart sentence. Replying to easy questions and not thinking was ok, but if they wanted him to be normal and not only to act as one, it got difficult.

Minyoon realized he was feeling bad and squeezed his arm, pulling him towards one of the tables, almost as if she wanted to eat. Once they were alone in a corner, she took a plate and started to put things on it "director are you ok?" she whispered.

"I'm not…I keep following him with my eyes, and not a single time I found him watching me. I'm stupid I told him to ignore me…and I hoped he didn't come. Yet my heart feels relieved now that I see him" he looked at her with sad eyes "I must look so pitiful right?" he smiled bitterly.

"No you don't…you are suffering, and you were so tired these days, walking for hours and chatting with everybody is tiresome. Plus this party looks like it will last for a lot more" she replied, she was smiling at him, her plate was full and they both knew she wasn't going to eat all of that.

"You should have put a smaller portion…you are a lady" he said pointing at her plate. She smiled girly, then she raised an eyebrow.

"Lady? I'm going to eat all of this, I'm starving…going around with you I didn't have the chance to eat anything!" she said before eating one small sandwich.

"I'm sorry…I just feel a bit dizzy and I can't eat" he replied sincerely.

"If you aren't feeling well, go out to take some fresh air, your father is managing the guests pretty well and if someone asks me…I'll tell the truth you were tired and were feeling ill" she said patting his shoulder.

"Maybe I should follow your words" he tried to smile but it was hard "I'll go take some fresh air then"

~

He went out in the garden, and breathing fresh air definitely made him feel better, oh well if feeling like he was nearly dying of loneliness and sadness could be a better state than being dead. He wasn't in his right mind, he felt his head spinning and he realized he needed more air, more space. He started to walk, he didn't know where he was going, but every step was an image, a frame of memory with him and Donghae, they were chatting, they were arguing, then being friendly, then partners. He was even smiling blindly, everything around him blurred, he didn't care, he didn't know.

He walked, walked for he didn't know how much, he was already far from the hotel, when suddenly a drop fell on his face. It was raining. He looked up, the sky was sad just like him. Better with this rain no one will see the tears on my face. He kept walking and every step more the rain got heavier and heavier, he wasn't sure anymore of what he was doing. He felt so empty, seeing Donghae made him even sadder than before, he was thankful at least he looked healthy, he didn't seem to have suffered like him, Donghae was good-looking as always, and his skin was nice, not the one of someone that had skipped his meals or missed his sleep. At least he looked fine.

He is definitely better without me. He thought, and a pain in his chest made him almost faint. He started to walk hardly, almost tripping on his own feet, when suddenly the rain stopped. No, it didn't stop, he looked in front of him and it was still raining heavily, but not on his head. He looked up, an umbrella. He turned around, he was tired to even do it, but when he saw him he was shocked. Donghae what are you doing here?

~