“Oh, hello.”

Eunhyuk opened the door to the conference room and saw a stranger, a quite good-looking stranger, sitting at the table instead of a blonde, an even hornier brunette and their boss covering his eyes like a little kid. Not that he was complaining.

Eunhyuk only agreed to go back to his old job out of fear of Sungmin. He wasn’t ready to be an assassin again, to start killing again. How do you revert to your old lifestyle when you spent so much time trying to build a new life? He couldn’t even sleep last night, which is why he came to work today a few minutes too early.

The stranger smiled politely, and Eunhyuk freaked out a little because he could’ve sworn his heart just fluttered a little.

“Oh, wait, Sungmin told me about you.” Eunhyuk pulled up a chair to sit on (why did he have to choose the one so close to the stranger?). “You’re Heechul, right?”

He chuckled softly, “No.”

“Oh. Who are you then?”

“Why should I tell you?”

“Uh, because I just asked you?”

“Got to give me a better reason than that.”

Eunhyuk couldn’t help but be suspicious about the playful smile on the stranger’s face that just wouldn’t go away. “Maybe you’re in the wrong room.”

“Maybe you’re in the wrong room.” He said, which made Eunhyuk think.

“Maybe I am,” his eyebrows rose. “Am I?”

He chuckled again. Seeing him grin made Eunhyuk grin too. “I’m gonna take a wild guess here,” the stranger cleared his throat. “You look like an Eunhyuk. Is your name Eunhyuk?”

He gasped, “How did you do that?”

“I’m psychic.”

“Really?”

“No,” he said with a laugh. “Your nametag.”

“Oh.” Eunhyuk didn’t even realize he had put on his nametag this morning. He had gotten so used to his daily routine before going to work that he had completely forgotten that he had a different job now.

“Why are you even wearing a nametag?” he asked. “Is that required around here or something?”

“Oh, no, actually, they made us strippers wear nametags so it would be easier for the customers—”

“Wait, you were a stripper?” He looked him up and down. “I can see that actually.”

“I don’t mean to brag, but I was a crowd favorite—”

“Wait a minute, I think I saw you once.” He bit his lip as he tried to remember; Eunhyuk couldn’t help but stare. “Did you work at The Ladies’ Club?”

“Yeah,” he admitted sheepishly. “Hold on, did I dance for you?”

“Unfortunately, no. Every time I came in, you were already on somebody else’s lap.” He revealed, shrugging and looking a little remorseful.

“‘Every time’? You mean to tell me that you regularly go to a ladies’ strip club?” he asked.

“Well, not anymore now that I know you’ve quit.” Was he using a flirting tone? He sounded like he was using a flirting tone. “Just out of curiosity, do you still take your clothes off for money? Because I’ve got a big, fat wad of cash in my pocket right now.”

Yep. He was definitely flirting. But that wasn’t the strangest part. The strangest part was that Eunhyuk liked it. “Um…what did you say your name was again?”

“I didn’t.”

“Well, you just asked me to strip for you, so I think I at least deserve a name.”

The stranger smiled and bobbed his head like he was agreeing. “It’s Donghae.”

Eunhyuk didn’t say anything, which was weird, because now they were just smiling at each other in silence. In very awkward silence.

When the door opened, Eunhyuk couldn’t decide whether or not he was annoyed or relieved.

An all-too-familiar blonde came in, holding a cup of coffee. The only thing that Eunhyuk could think of was, oh my god did he gain weight?

Sungmin noticed Donghae before he noticed Eunhyuk. “Who the hell is this?” then he finally laid eyes on Eunhyuk. After months of not seeing each other, the only thing he had to say was, “Why are you wearing a nametag?”

Eunhyuk finally gained the sense to take off the damn nametag. “Oh, this. They made us wear thi—”

“Never mind, I don’t care.” He looked at Donghae again. “Who the hell is this?”

Eunhyuk was initially going to introduce him, but he stopped himself when he realized Donghae was giving Sungmin the same flirty look he was giving Eunhyuk just a few seconds ago.

“Oh my God, you’re a .” Why Eunhyuk blurted that out instead of just thinking it, he’ll never know why.

“Guilty as charged.” Donghae smirked. Eunhyuk was surprised that he didn’t seem offended at all.

“You’re perfect for each other then; you’re both s.” Sungmin decided, the he was giving earlier having completely disappeared already.

“Well, that’s true but…” Eunhyuk wished he had found a better argument.

Sungmin didn’t think it was possible to give any less of a , but when Heechul came in, he realized he was wrong. “Oh look, here comes another one. I’m in a room full of s.”

“Yourself included.” Heechul was quick to bite back. “Isn’t that why Kyuhyun left you?”

“You and Kyuhyun broke up? You didn’t tell me that.” Suddenly, some things were finally making sense to Eunhyuk right now. “What happened?”

“Nothing.” The blonde grumbled, not making any eye contact.

“He cheated.” Heechul was enjoying this too much.

“With who?” Eunhyuk asked, eyes wide with surprise.

“With whom.” Donghae corrected. No one paid attention to him.

It finally dawned on Heechul that he was giving away too much information. He looked at Sungmin, who had his head down and his lips sealed shut. Eunhyuk gasped.

“Oh my God, did you guys—?” he felt like he was reading a tabloid magazine. “Wait, who are you?”

“I’m—” his eyes trailed towards the man beside him, and he held his hand out for a handshake. “I’m Heechul. I’m y and single. You are?”

“I’m intrigued.” Donghae was holding Heechul’s hand a little too tightly and a little too long. Nobody seemed to notice the big frown on Eunhyuk’s face. “You don’t happen to be free tonight, do you?”

“As a matter of fact, not only am I y and single, but I’m also free.” They still hadn’t let go of each other’s hands. In fact, Donghae was even tugging him closer. Eunhyuk was still frowning.

And Sungmin gave an even lesser of a . Especially since Leeteuk just walked in the room.

“Oh good, you’re all here.” Leeteuk dimmed the lights, which meant that he was about to start the briefing and use the projector. “I thought it was gonna be weird to introduce you guys to your new teammate, but now that you’ve already gotten acquainted, we can just skip that part. Okay, so today’s mission is a little different from—”

“Wait, this man is our teammate?” Sungmin didn’t intend on talking to Leeteuk ever since the incident that involved Kyuhyun breaking up with him, but this was inevitable. “Are you ing kidding me? The only reason I told this monkey to come back is to avoid all of this. You’re just doing this to piss me off, aren’t you?”

“I know this is hard to believe, Sungmin, but not everything in the world is about you.” Leeteuk said simply as he began the briefing.

“Ooh, burn.” Heechul barely managed to duck in time when a hot cup of coffee was hurled towards his head.

Eunhyuk was already starting to regret coming back.

After arriving at the location of their latest target, Sungmin was too lazy to come out and just sent the newbie to do the dirty work. There was a brief debate about who was the real newbie—Eunhyuk or Donghae—but eventually Donghae, who wasn’t even really in the argument (it was more of Sungmin vs. Eunhyuk), just got out of the car to get it over with.

“How come Leeteuk always has someone new to kill anyway? Does he have that many enemies? Or is he just picking out random people to kill for the evilz?” Eunhyuk mused whilst snacking on peanuts in the front seat.

Sungmin was more concerned about crumbs getting all over his car.

“Did you just say ‘evilz’? With a ‘z’?” Heechul scrunched his nose in disdain.

“Yeah. I said the same thing to Donghae earlier and he laughed. Oh my God, have you seen him laugh? It’s adorable. His bottom teeth are a little crooked, but hey, who cares? Nobody’s perfect. And have you heard him talk? His voice is so deep and—and—”

“You sound like a girl with a crush.” Heechul remarked.

Eunhyuk glared at the he-she in the backseat. “Sungmin, seriously, who is this chick?”

“He’s a with a , but he’s a who makes a point.” Sungmin was smirking a little. “I thought you liked s.”

“I did. I mean I do! I still do! What are you guys insinuating?” Eunhyuk squeaked. “I can’t stand to be in the same car as two people who are ganging up on me. I’m gonna go find a restroom or something.”

“Don’t be afraid to get yourself killed. It’ll make us all happy.” Sungmin called in a sarcastically sweet voice as Eunhyuk scampered away.

Unfortunately the blonde realized too late that Eunhyuk leaving meant him being alone with Heechul. And he hasn’t been alone with Heechul since they slept together.

“Don’t even think about—”

“I wasn’t.”

Sungmin was glad that Heechul interrupted him because he wasn’t sure how that sentence was going to end. However Sungmin has been in far too many road trips with the bumbling idiots he calls his team to know that silence never lasts.

“So,” Heechul leans closer; Sungmin doesn’t budge. “Have you talked to Kyuhyun yet?”

“Why would I do that? He hates my guts.”

“I can think of a thousand reasons why, but I thought you were into all that relationship crap. You know, the one where if one person’s mad, the other comes grovelling and begs for forgiveness. Isn’t that how it goes?”

“I don’t grovel. Nor do I beg. Get your head out of your .”

“Get your head out of yours first.”

“What?”

Sungmin turned his head, and he wished he had realized how close Heechul was to his face so he could at least have had a chance to back away when Heechul kissed him.

Heechul pulled away when he realized Sungmin had no intention of reciprocating. Though it sure helped his pride that Sungmin didn’t push him away; the blonde merely stayed still, eyes wide open and lips only slightly parted.

Heechul sighed. Then he opened the car door and left.

Only to come back and open the door to the front seat.  Once he was settled, he inhaled sharply and mentally prepared himself for the conversation he was about to have.

“Look, if you want Kyuhyun back, you won’t get anywhere by just moping around all the time. Get off your fat and actually do something.”

“But—”

“I know, I know, he’s angry at you. But when has that ever stopped you? I know you hate me, and I realize that this just sounds like I pity you—which I do, honestly—and that you could care less about what I have to say because this would’ve never happened if not for me, but you can’t blame me for your mistakes.”

Sungmin swallowed, knowing he was right. “I don’t hate you. I mean, I don’t hate you for that. I hate you for a lot of other things though.”

Heechul smirked, choosing to believe that he actually made a difference in someone’s life. But suddenly, he wondered to himself, ew when did I get so mushy?

“Just so we’re clear,” Sungmin clears his throat. “You don’t…like me, do you?”

“Oh, God no.” Heechul shook his head, chuckling at the ridiculous though. He then followed with a mutter, which was mostly meant for himself, “Anymore.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

If anything, Heechul was glad that he shared that kiss with Sungmin. At least now he knew that they have no chemistry together at all.

They were saved from an awkward silence by a couple of raps on the window. Heechul rolled down his window, revealing Donghae’s smiling face, complete with spots of blood on his cheeks.

“All done.” He revealed. “Who’s next?”

“That was fast.” Sungmin remarked.

“Why are you all bloody?” Heechul inquired. “I thought you brought a gun.”

Donghae slipped into the backseat before answering. “I did. But the son of a snuck up on me and I had to use my Swiss Army knife. Now I have to clean it later tonight before bed.”

“I guess that’s it then.” Heechul shrugged. “Does this mean we’re free for the day?”

Donghae was about to buckle his seatbelt until he realized they were missing one person. “Hey, where did the other guy go?”

“Sungmin and that chick don’t know what they’re talking about.” Eunhyuk plays with the knife in his hand, the one he had just used to slash a random guy’s stomach, not enough to kill him but just enough to incapacitate him. It turned out his assassin’s instinct never left him after all.

“It’s not like I like Donghae, you know? I mean, sure, I like him as a friend, but anything more than that? please, I’m straight. Though I bet a guy as cool as Donghae can turn even the straightest man gay.”

“I can and I have.” The sudden voice startles the crap out of Eunhyuk, causing him to drop his pocket knife and ultimately impale the already bleeding man by his feet.

“Sorry, dude.” He retracts his knife and takes out his handkerchief to wipe it clean.

Donghae walks towards him with his hands in his pockets. “Who’s your friend?”

“Him? Oh, I don’t really know. I wanted someone to talk to and he kept trying to run away.” He explained. “And now he’s dead. What a shame; I wish I could’ve gotten to know him a little better.”

“You could’ve talked to me.” Donghae shrugged one shoulder. “Then we could’ve gotten to know each other a little better.”

Eunhyuk took a step back when Donghae took a step forward. “But then I would have to kill you.”

“I’d like to see you try to get your hands on me.” Donghae’s hands were suddenly on the other’s belt, making Eunhyuk yelp like a puppy.

Geez, this guy is even hornier than me. Eunhyuk shook his thoughts off, all the while trying to maintain his composure. “W-we really must be getting back to the car; Sungmin really hates waiting—holy crap, what the hell are you doing?”

When did Donghae put his fingers in Eunhyuk’s belt loops? Donghae pulled him closer and tilted his head, as if examining the features on his face. He smirked—Eunhyuk would’ve taken that as a good sign if not for the fact that Donghae seemed to smirk at everything—and tugged on Eunhyuk’s belt loops again.

Eunhyuk was trying really hard to ignore the fact that their crotches were pressed against each other.

“Um, I gotta go,” Eunhyuk pried Donghae’s hands off him and backpedalled farther and farther away. “I have that thing. That important thing. You guys can go on ahead; I’ll take a cab.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

Donghae smiled and took out a cigarette as Eunhyuk fled the scene.

“Well, he’s gone.” Donghae cracked open the car window to let out the cigarette smoke. “Told you I could do it. And in less than ten minutes too. What kind of assassin scares so easily?”

“Dammit,” Sungmin scowled. “I guess I overestimated the amount of balls that monkey has. Now I realize that he has none.”

“I don’t know about that; I’m pretty sure I felt some earlier.”

“Some what?”

“Balls.”

“Ew.”

“So,” Donghae, with a cocky grin, leaned towards the two in the front, “as per our agreement, I get both of your paychecks this week. That’ll teach you to listen to me the next time I say we just leave him behind.”

“For the record, I agreed with him the first time.” Heechul pointed out without taking his eyes off his nails that desperately need a manicure. “Blondie here suddenly decided to grow a conscience.”

“I did no such thing.” Sungmin started the car. “I’m just being careful because the last time we left him alone, he almost died and he quit. I don’t need to go through that again.”

“You know,” Donghae started to muse, “he was actually kind of cute.”

Sungmin grunted, “Again, ew.”

That night, Eunhyuk slept with a random chick he picked off the street to try to get his mind off his new teammate.

To no avail. At all. Whatsoever.