“Replacement?”

“That’s right,” Leeteuk slapped down a file on the table for his assassins to browse through. “His name’s Heechul.”

“Kim Heechul,” the slender man putting his feet up the conference table boomed. “Why don’t you introduce me to your kids, Jungsoo?”

“I just did.” Leeteuk threw him a dirty look. “I’m pretty sure you know who’s who already.”

“Oh, so you guys are friends?” Kyuhyun deduced.

“Well, actually—”

“College roommates, as a matter of fact.” Heechul interrupted. “You know, we were actually born just nine days apart—”

“I suddenly feel the need to remind you that I was in fact, born earlier, which makes me superior to you—”

“Just slightly.”

“And even more so now that I’m your boss.” He smirked.

Heechul rolled his eyes. “Rub it in, why don’t you?”

“Gladly,” he said. “But unfortunately, we don’t have enough time. I need to brief you guys about your newest mission—”

“Wait a minute, do you really expect us to just let this guy in our team, just like that?” Sungmin asked.

“In a word, yes.”

“Kyuhyun and I are perfectly capable of holding up the team ourselves—”

“You two just want to bunny-hump on the job. I need someone who can do the mission while you two are busy…”

“Bumping uglies?” Heechul suggested.

“Thank you, I was running out of euphemisms.” Leeteuk said.

“So, in other words, you want someone to do Eunhyuk’s job?” Kyuhyun questioned.

“Exactly.” The boss nodded. “Good to know you’re finally catching up.”

“Eunhyuk’s a part of our team.” Sungmin insisted.

“He quit.”

“Temporarily.”

“No, Sungmin, he made it perfectly clear that he wanted nothing to do with the assassin business anymore.” He stated. “And I, for one, don’t blame him. It’s been a month since the accident and he still hasn’t been discharged from the hospital.”

“I don’t get it.” Kyuhyun chimed in. “When Sungmin threatened to quit, you hauled to make him stay. Eunhyuk has one measly moment of weakness and you just let him go?”

“Eunhyuk feared for his life.”

“He’s a killer.”

“He was this close to dying.”

“That’s normal in this business.”

“Which is exactly why he quit.” He said. “I mean, did you even see the state he’s in? He’s practically a vegetable.”

“I don’t care. I know he’ll be back soon.” Sungmin said. “That idiot will miss us too much.”

“Do you mean he’ll miss you or you’ll miss him?” Heechul asked cockily. “You know, it’s interesting how you’re being so y about keeping together this team of yours when you didn’t even want it in the first place.”

When Sungmin looked at him suspiciously, Heechul saved him the trouble and revealed, “Jungsoo talks a lot.”

“Seriously?” Kyuhyun whined. “You’re letting him in the team?”

“Why not?” Leeteuk shrugged. “He’s good.”

“You’re just saying that because he’s your friend.”

“Are you kidding me? We couldn’t stand each other back then.”

“And half of the time, we still can’t.” Heechul agreed. “Though we did kiss once—”

“Shut up.” Leeteuk hissed, dropping his gaze to avoid Sungmin and Kyuhyun’s.

Sungmin smirked, “See? I always knew you were gay.”

“I am not gay.” He stated firmly. “I don’t know about Heechul, but—”

“What makes you think I’m gay?” Heechul asked.

“You kissed me.”

“I was drunk.”

“So was I.”

“My point exactly.”

“Enough, both of you.” Kyuhyun interjected. “I still don’t see how he could be of any help to the team.”

“I know looks can be deceiving, but Heechul is actually pretty clever.” Leeteuk admitted. “He makes up great strategies, he’s a quick thinker and he’s been trained to be a sniper since God knows how old he was.”

“Nine.” Heechul answered. “Also, I have very sharp, observant eyes. The minute you two walked in, I had already figured out that you’re sleeping together.”

“So, apparently, Leeteuk tells you everything.” Sungmin glared at his boss.

“Interestingly enough, he failed to mention the part where his two supposedly best assassins are actually gay for each other.” He smirked. “There were exactly three things that tipped me off. First of all, Kyuhyun can’t keep his hands off you. Second, he’s wearing a shirt that’s probably about two sizes too big for him, which means he’s wearing your shirt. And lastly, unless you two use the same cologne, then I’m pretty sure you’re ing.”

“Any rookie detective can figure all that out.” He refuted.

“Can any rookie detective figure out that the only reason you don’t want me on this team, is because you feel like you owe Eunhyuk because word has it, he’s saved your more than once now.” Heechul smiled devilishly. “Also, you’re wearing two different socks, so Kyuhyun probably has the other matching sock. Word of advice, the next time you two have a quickie, make sure your clothes don’t get all mixed up on the floor. Also, don’t do it in Jungsoo’s office anymore because he freaks about that kind of stuff.”

“You had a quickie in my office? Ew!” Leeteuk grimaced. “Now I have to fumigate it. Haven’t you two ever heard of restroom cubicles?”

“Or an actual bedroom?” Heechul added.

“Okay, you know what? I’m closing the subject; Heechul’s on the team now.” Leeteuk dismissed. “Now, to start the briefing, I intend to send you all out to kill a woman named Sulli. Her last name is unknown, but what I do know is that she’s responsible for the death of one of our own men.”

Sungmin was quick to notice how Heechul’s gaze dropped at the mention of the name ‘Sulli’. He kept his mouth shut about it though; but he was pretty damn sure that Heechul knew more than he let on.

“What makes you think Heechul’s involved?” Kyuhyun asked as they went through Heechul’s stuff while he was in the bathroom.

“He was nervous the whole time during the briefing.” Sungmin revealed. “My guess is this Sulli chick is his sister or his girlfriend, maybe.”

“Well, Leeteuk did mention that they presume she’s a trained sniper, as the shot was fired approximately fifty feet away.” Kyuhyun said. “And Heechul is a sniper himself.”

“That’s good. See? This is why we don’t need some new guy to replace Eunhyuk.” He remarked. “We can manage by ourselves.”

“I think I found something.”

“What?”

“Lipstick, perfume and…a bra.”

“Unless he carries his sister’s underwear around, I think we can assume that belongs to his girlfriend.”

“Oh, and look here.” Kyuhyun picked up a bottle of medicine from Heechul’s bag. “A bottle of cold medicine prescribed to Choi Sulli.”

“That should be enough to convince Leeteuk.” The blonde smirked and ran his hand through Kyuhyun’s hair. “Good job.”

“I’m not a dog, you know.” He said, expressing his distaste for Sungmin patting his head.

“I know,” he tiptoed and kissed his cheek. “I wouldn’t kiss a dog.”

“I see you two never learned to keep your hormones in control.” Heechul walked in smirking, but once he saw them hovering over his backpack, his expression hardened. “What are you doing?”

“Just trying to find out more about you, s’all.” Kyuhyun shrugged.

“If you’re interested about anything, just ask.” He hissed as he grabbed his bag from Kyuhyun’s hands. “Ever heard of a little privacy?”

After he stormed out, Kyuhyun turned to Sungmin and decided, “I hate him already.”

“Why aren’t you out looking for Sulli?” Leeteuk scolded the two lounging in the conference room. “Don’t tell me you’ve already given up. Come on, she’s just a woman.”

“Okay, first of all, I find that very chauvinistic of you to say.” Kyuhyun said. “And second, we have reason to believe that we’re dealing with an inside job.”

“What do you mean?” he asked. “Everyone had an airtight alibi the day Hongki died. Besides, none of us have a motive.”

“Except maybe the shady new guy who was your college sweetheart.” Sungmin revealed.

“Heechul?”

“Ah, so you did date him.”

“I did not date him.” Leeteuk insisted. “And Heechul wouldn’t kill Hongki. They were close friends, even.”

“We suspect that he was looking for an open spot in the company.” Sungmin explained. “Also, we’re not saying Heechul killed the man by himself. We’re thinking he had an accomplice.”

“Let me guess,” Leeteuk sighed. “Sulli?”

“Exactly,” Kyuhyun confirmed. “Take a look at this.”

Leeteuk caught the bottle of medicine Kyuhyun tossed him. “Prescribed to Choi Sulli? This is perfect! This is the perfect lead; where’d you find this?”

“In Heechul’s bag.” He answered.

Leeteuk blinked. “I think I’m beginning to see your guys’ point.”

“So can we kill Heechul now?” Sungmin asked.

“Frankly, I’m surprised you two waited for my permission.” He said. “But, no, you can’t kill him.”

“You’re dating him, aren’t you?” Sungmin looked at him strangely.

“For the last time, no.” He groaned. “I’m just saying, I trust Heechul. I wouldn’t jump to conclusions. Heechul wouldn’t kill someone or assist in killing someone just so a spot in the company would open.”

“This conversation, for some reason, is making me want to pee.” Sungmin announced as he stood up. “So let’s wrap this up. If we can get hard evidence that Heechul is involved in Hongki’s murder, then can we kill him?”

“Yes, but not without my notice.” He agreed before letting him out.

Sungmin made his way to the bathroom and went in, only to see a baby doll dress by the sink, used cosmetics scattered around and a pair of pumps in front of a cubicle. He came closer to investigate, and he jumped when the door opened and a woman came out. Or at least she looked like a woman.

“…Am I in the right room?” Sungmin looked around, before literally hitting himself in the forehead. “What am I saying? Of course I am. There is no ladies’ room in this building.”

“I know,” the stranger sighed. “I checked.”

His eyes widened at the familiar voice. “…Heechul?”

“No , Sherlock.” He rolled his eyes as he fixed the wig on his head.

“Why are you wearing make-up?” he asked, confused. “And are you wearing a bra?”

“Haven’t you figured it out yet?” Heechul sighed. “This is what I do.”

“So you’re not an assassin, but rather, a transvestite?”

“I’m both.” He admitted. “And by the way, I would like my cold medicine back. I know you have it.”

“Your cold medicine?” He started to figure everything out. “You’re Sulli?”

“I was wondering when you’d figure that one out.” He remarked sarcastically.

“So you killed Hongki?”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

He grinned shrewdly. “That’s just what I wanted to hear.”

“Teuk, you’ll be glad to hear that I just found your killer.” Sungmin announced proudly as he stepped back into the conference room.

“You found Sulli? Great, where is she?” Leeteuk praised.

“She’s been right in front of us the whole time.” Sungmin then grabbed Heechul by the neck and pulled him in the room. “Turns out our theory was right.”

“Heechul?” Leeteuk was flabbergasted. “Oh dear God, please tell me there’s a good reason you’re in women’s clothes.”

“There is,” Sungmin smiled cheekily. “You, my friend, have just hired a transvestite.”

“Seriously, Chul?” Leeteuk looked at him with much confusion. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“I knew you’d freak out.”

“I’m not freaking out.”

“That vein on your forehead is about to pop; I’m pretty sure you’re freaking out.”

“Wait, does this mean he—or she, whatever—killed Hongki?” Kyuhyun asked.

“That’s right,” Sungmin nodded. “He just admitted it to me in the bathroom.”

“Heechul, why would you kill him? He was your best friend!” Leeteuk pointed out.

“He borrowed my car and wrecked it.” Heechul shrugged. “He just had to learn the hard way to never piss me off.”

“Can we kill him now?” Kyuhyun asked, earning a glare from Heechul.

“No,” Leeteuk shook his head. “Heechul had a good reason to do what he did and I think you should give him a chance.”

“You call that a good reason?” Sungmin asked.

“It’s still a reason.” He said. “And in case you’re forgetting, I’m the man in charge here, and what I say goes.”

Kyuhyun was about to protest. “But Eunhyuk is—”

“Eunhyuk’s not coming back.” He stated, creating a pregnant silence. “I’m sorry, but that’s the harsh truth. He had all his stuff picked up and he withdrew all his weapons already. It’s pretty clear he has no intention of stepping foot in here again.”

When no one responded, Leeteuk sighed and patted Heechul’s back. “Now, it won’t hurt to give this guy—or girl—a chance, would it?”

“Fine,” Sungmin said through gritted teeth. “But only for two weeks. And if we still hate him, then he’s gone.”

“Deal.”

“Well, boys,” Heechul smirked as he put the car on drive. “It’s been a month and I’m still here.”

“You know we still hate you, right?” Kyuhyun, who was sulking because he lost their game of rock-paper-scissor and was stuck in the backseat, replied.

He scoffed. “Yeah, right.”

“Don’t get too comfortable. We can still kick you out whenever we want to.” Sungmin told him.

“You’ve threatened me with that exact same line a billion times now.” He smirked smugly. “But somehow nothing ever happens.”

“Can we just go now before any bloodshed takes place?” Kyuhyun interrupted. “Leeteuk promised us he’d buy us dinner tonight if we finish the job before dark.”

Heechul revved up the engine. “Consider it done.”

“Wait, wait,” Kyuhyun said. “Before we go, I want to ask you a question.”

“What?”

“Do younger men call you ‘hyung’ or ‘noona’?”

Heechul rolled his eyes before stepping on the pedal and driving off at a speed that clearly ignored traffic safety rules.

I’ve probably creeped you all out with my comment replies, so let me just apologize for that and go crawl in a dark, sincerely apologetic hole. T_T Sorry, guys, but I just didn’t want to be that kind of author who never interacts with her readers and makes them feel unappreciated, because believe me, you guys have no idea how much I appreciate the fact that you all enjoy my work. I love you all. xoxo <3