"No, hyung, why would you say that?" I said with a shaking voice. However, all I could think was, how bad? How bad, how bad? They were both taken on an ambulance - what did that mean?

"Oh my god," said Donghae, then he slowly got up and walked into the hallway.

"Hyung, I don't understand," I said, then I took him by his shoulders.

Donghae looked at me with his hand on his head. "If I weren't in this band, none of this would have happened," said Donghae quietly.

"Donghae - " started Sungmin.

"Don't," whispered Donghae with a small frown, then he walked into our room and closed the door.

As I hesitated in the hallway, Sungmin looked at me.

"Make sure Donghae doesn't do anything rash," he said, looking at me. "I'll let the other members and Jinsoo hyung know."

I nodded and carefully opened the door to my room while Sungmin went around to every room. Donghae was lying in his bed with his eyes covered with his hand. I hesitated, then I sat down on the floor where I always slept and looked at Donghae. He didn't even move; he just laid down under his blanket and cried - and there was nothing I could do except watch.

A few minutes later, it was clear that all of the other members had gathered in the living room and were talking worriedly, but Donghae still didn't make a move to get up. Fortunately, he stopped crying after an hour or so, but he was just staring at the ceiling. Unsure of whether or not I was supposed to speak to him, I gave him glances every once in a while; however, it seemed like he didn't want to talk to anyone, and I didn't want to push him. He had a whole two weeks to get himself out of this - I didn't have to convince him that everything was going to be okay right now.

Seunghwan hyung was back in a few hours, just as the sun was rising, and I went to the front door him as soon as he came back. "They're both going to be okay," said Seunghwan hyung. We all sighed with relief. "But - " we tensed up again - "Heechul's got a pretty big leg injury, and he's due for surgery later today. He's not going to be able to dance - for a while."

His statement was met with silence, then Eunhyuk broke the silence.

"How long is that?" asked Eunhyuk worriedly. The manager hyung didn't say anything. Oh god. Maybe - maybe forever?

"Can we visit?" asked Leeteuk quietly in an unsteady voice. I looked at Leeteuk to see that he looked almost guilty. Seunghwan hyung shook his head.

"There's too much press at the hospital, you'll never get through. I don't think you guys will be able to go for another week or so," he said. As we were taking in the news, there was a knock at the door. I rushed to open it, but before I could, I heard a key turn in the door. Surprised, all of us looked to the door to find a company representative dressed in business clothing walk into the dorm. Surprised, we all bowed respectfully. However, he didn't acknowledge any of our greeting and faced the managers instead.

"Why do you think you have the authority to cancel music stages in the middle of promotions without consulting the rest of us?" he demanded without introduction. Seunghwan hyung looked taken aback for a second, then he spoke.

"We're just trying to be protective of the boys, sir."

The representative wasn't impressed. "They're rookie singers. They have to promote as hard as they can, and they don't have that luxury to cancel whatever schedules they want whenever they want," he said, glaring at the manager hyung. When we didn't say anything, he continued. "All of the boys except Heechul had better be on stage tomorrow."

The manager hyung gave an uneasy glance. "Everyone except Donghae, of course."

The representative shook his head. "Donghae, too."

Everyone looked around, surprised, then the manager hyung spoke again. "But Donghae - " The representative cut him off.

"I don't care. All of them are going on stage, and if you cancel any more schedules, it's going to be your head on the chopping block."

As Seunghwan hyung sighed and looked at his feet, the representative turned to us. "If you, for any reason, don't give your all or if you make mistakes - don't expect to see your regular pay restored for at least a year."

Then to my surprise, he then looked at me. "And you," he said ferociously, looking at me coldly. I froze. "I don't think your managers quite let you know how serious that fall a few days ago was. The meeting room was a chaos after that fall." I lowered my head and was about to apologize when he spoke again. "And we decided a few hours ago that you will get another 15 percent pay cut, and you'll continue receiving this pay until at least the end of the year."

I looked up in shock. Another 15 percent on top of the ten for that U performance? Did I just get almost a quarter of my pay reduced from where I first started?
My face flushed in frustration. Wasn't I punished enough for that fall by the hyungs already? "But - but sir, that's - " The word 'unfair' was on the tip of my tongue, but I held it in; I knew that arguing with a company representative could never be a good idea. Although I stopped myself in time and had lowered my head again, the representative was angry at me already.

"Are you saying that you think you deserve everything that the other members are getting after that disaster?" he shouted.

I bit my lip and didn't say anything, but Seunghwan hyung spoke with disbelief.

"Are you kidding? Are you doing this because you think he's too young to realize how unfair this is? Or is it because you think he's too young to do anything about it?"

The representative stared at Seunghwan hyung furiously. "So you think the company spent so much money to train the kid before he debuted to fall all over the place?" he yelled hotly.

Seunghwan hyung rolled his eyes. "Sir, he didn't fall all over the place! He fell once! And let's be reasonable here, it helped his popularity more than it decreased it!"

"If he's more famous now because he's the 'one that fell', that doesn't help our case," said the representative, unconvinced. "As long as you guys are a new group that's just starting to get public attention, everyone had better be perfect." And with this, he left the dorm without saying anything more, ignoring all our bows.

As soon as the door slammed closed, Seunghwan hyung looked at Jinsoo hyung, then he sighed. "Just make sure you don't schedule anything new."
Jinsoo hyung nodded, and Seunghwan hyung looked at me.

"On the other hand, Kyuhyun, tomorrow's Saturday, and you haven't been to school this week," he said.

I goggled at him. "You want me to go to school? Now?"

He nodded. "You really should."

I shook my head. "The teacher told me to stop coming," I said without expression, but as I said it, I felt my chest tighten.

"Administration still wants you to go five hours a week," he said.

I sighed. "Fine," I muttered, and I returned to my room to get ready without saying anything else.

I was sitting in the passenger seat of the van that the manager hyung was driving to school again, but I wasn't wearing my uniform this time. I also had a baseball cap with me this time; I was going to do all that I could not to have to look at the teacher. They were against the dress code, of course, but seeing as he told me to stop coming to class in the first place, I didn't see how he would criticize me. I played with the cap in my hand for a few minutes, then I spoke.

"How bad is it, hyung?" I asked.

"It really does just seem to be Heechul's leg. They were doing a detailed checkup, but nothing life-threatening, at all. I think he really will be fine," said the manager hyung.

"When you said... he won't be able to dance for a while," I said carefully.

"I don't know how long. It depends on how well the surgery goes," he said.

I sighed, worried. I was surprised that I wasn't more rattled about Heechul's accident, but, I guess, I never got to know any side of him except strict and scary. On top of that, he missed many performances due to his drama anyway - it wasn't like a stage without him would be unfamiliar. On the other hand, I really was concerned about...

"Hyung, Donghae hyung hasn't talked since you left," I said without looking at him. "He's just been crying in our room."

The manager hyung sighed. "I understand. But it looks like he has to do the performances."

"How?" I said tiredly.

"I don't know either," he said with a sigh. "He'll somehow need to deal with it."

"He thinks the accident was his fault, hyung."

The manager hyung paused, then looked troubled. "Don't worry too much about it. I'll talk to him about it when I get back to the dorm."

I nodded and started fiddling with my cap again. I had my head turned away from him, but the manager hyung glanced at me.

"Hey," he said. I looked at him. "About the pay cut - "

I shook my head and smiled a little. "I'm not doing this for the money anyway. I'm doing this because this is what I want to do."

"You can't be happy about it," said Seunghwan hyung empathetically. I sighed.

"Obviously not," I said. "But it would be okay, I really wouldn't mind, but..." I trailed off. I hadn't said this to anyone before, but I had been thinking it since I started training with the team.

"What is it?" asked the manager hyung mildly.

"This isn't the kind of music I wanted to sing," I confessed, knowing that now probably wasn't the right time to say this. "I do like being on stage, and I really appreciate all of the opportunities that Super Junior's opened up for me," I clarified. "But - forgive me for sounding conceited - I feel like I have this - this vocal potential that I just can't show with four seconds a song. Plus I feel like I'm dragging down the team. I can't even dance," I sighed.

The manager hyung looked at me for a short second, then to my surprise, he chuckled. "Do you know? Ryeowook's told me the exact same thing."

I looked at him. "But he can dance," I said, pained. The manager hyung laughed.

"He arguably had a harder time with dance than you did when he first joined the team," he said with a smile. "I'm sure you'll get a chance to prove yourself soon."

"I'm sure," I muttered as the manager hyung pulled up to the driveway of the school, but I wasn't as confident as he was. "For now, my terrible dance and three-quarters pay will have to do."

There was a short pause. "Your dance isn't that bad. And just think of it this way. At least you debuted," said the manager hyung.

"If I were a trainee, I would know there would be a possibility for me to sing what I want. But I'm here now, hyung. I know it won't happen," I sighed.

"You never know," said the manager hyung. He smiled, then looked at me. "Go to class. I'll pick you up just before lunch," he said.

I nodded and reached for my bag. "Please take care of Donghae hyung," I said, opening the door. When the manager hyung confirmed it with a nod of his own, I sighed and got out of the van.