"Super Junior on stage for the dry run right now!"

I felt my stomach tighten in a knot like never before.

Dry run, I thought to myself. None of this counts, so calm the hell down.

Swallowing, I walked up on the stage with the rest of the team, who was clearly feeling a lot more comfortable with the huge concert hall and the eight cameras surrounding the stage than I was.

We took to the middle of the stage, and Leeteuk looked around at us. "Greeting. One - two - three - "

"Hi, we're Super Junior! Thank you for having us!" we all said in synchronicity.

"Places, Super Junior and staff, dry run in 30 seconds," I heard out the loudspeakers. We got into formation, and different stage lights flickered on and off while the house lights dimmed to total darkness. I looked up slightly to glance at the formation, and I could feel my analytical side take over, and the nervousness subside slightly. We were definitely a bit more spaced out due to the stage being much larger than the practice rooms. This was going to mean that my steps were going to have to be slightly bigger when switching between formations. We were more spread out from front to back than side to side, so I was going to have to take calculated steps to be in exactly the right places.

Once we started the song and the guitar intro started playing, I was startled by the loud volume of the song in my in-ear monitors. I instinctively took them out of my ears for a few seconds, then eased them back into my ears. I wondered if there was a mistake on the volume of my monitors for a second, but then I realized that once the audience was here, the loud volume was probably necessary to hear ourselves.

I was focusing so hard on the changes in the overall formations that even as I was dancing, I could tell that I wasn't paying attention to the actual steps themselves or even the singing; I knew that I was making small mistakes that I had never made before in practice. It's better to get the mistakes out now rather than later, I convinced myself as we finished on stage, although I was gripped in fear that I would make these silly mistakes on the live stage. As soon as the stage lights darkened at the end of the performance, the house lights came back on.

"Can we get microphone seven closer to the mouth please, and can we get microphones one, six and twelve a bit further away from the mouth. We need new batteries for microphone three. How are the track volumes in the in-ears?" said the loudspeakers again.

"Can I get it a bit louder on microphone four?" I heard out of my in-ears, and I turned my head to see Yesung speaking into his microphone. There was a short pause.

"Done," boomed the loudspeakers. "Why didn't the fireworks go off?" There was a delay of about five minutes as the producer spoke to the stage, camera and lights crew, then the loudspeakers boomed again.

"Super Junior, monitor in the waiting room in five minutes, live stage in one hour. Can we get the Super Junior set taken down please, ASAP," said the voice on the loudspeakers as the stage crew rushed on the stage to take the set down again.

"Thank you, see you soon!" yelled Leeteuk with a bright smile, and we all bowed together on stage, then rushed back into the waiting room.

There were two TVs in the waiting room, and within a few seconds that we crowded around the TVs, both screens came on. One screen showed the version that would be broadcast, and the other showed the full shot of all of us all the time. We were totally quiet as we watched. I could tell that I was in the perfect place all the time, for which I was very relieved, but I had definitely given a very unpolished performance. After it had finished playing, Eunhyuk turned to each of the members to make such detailed corrections and adjustments that I wondered how he saw so much with just one viewing through. When it was my turn, my chest tightened, sure that he was going to point out my multiple mistakes in choreography. However, he looked at me and gave me a reassuring nod.

"Good. But stop worrying about the choreography so much and focus on your vocals, since that's what you do best. Take care of controlling your facial expressions and make more eye contact with the camera. I know there were sticky spots here and there, but I'm sure you can take care of that," he said.

"Okay," I said, completely taken aback. And as soon as he heard me agree, he had moved on to the next person. When he was finished, the members all wandered away from the TV set to find places to relax after a tiring run-through. However, still feeling nervous and unconfident with myself, I found a mirror inside the large waiting room and did some last-minute check up on the sections of the choreography that I had made mistakes on. I was still marking through small sections of the choreography a half hour later, when Donghae appeared behind me in the mirror with a water bottle. I gave him a small bow.

"Hyukjae said faces, not choreography," he said, handing me the water bottle. "Which, ironically, is the first thing I said to you when we first met. How do you feel?"

"Like throwing up," I said truthfully. I uncapped the water and drank from it.

Donghae gave a small laugh. "Me too," he said. "We only have half an hour until the live stage," he said. At this reminder, I could feel my heart almost beating out of my chest. I crouched down on the ground and closed my eyes as an involuntary groan escaped me.

"Deep breaths," said Donghae. "You'll be fine."

"Okay," I said, getting back to my feet. And at that moment, the assistant producer was back in the waiting room.

"We need Super Junior backstage for the live stage in five!" he yelled. The butterflies multiplied to the point that I physically had to grasp at my chest to contain the feeling in my stomach.

"Let's come together for a second," said Leeteuk, going to the middle of the room. When we were all standing around in a circle, he spoke calmly. "Let's make this the best comeback of all time. All of us are more than ready for this stage, so let's show them how hard we've worked. Good luck, guys."

After shouting some words of encouragement, we finally broke from our circle and made our way backstage together. I was just nervously fiddling with my fingers as I stood there, my focus being trying to maintain a steady breathing pattern. Expression. Eye contact. Vocals. I fumbled to put the in-ears back into my ears, but my hands were shaking so much that it took me several tries.

A few minutes later, the in-ears were activated with a small crackle. "We're ready to take Super Junior on stage. Your microphones are being now," said the producer out of the in-ears.

I followed the rest of the members on stage. My heart was beating so hard against my chest that I could feel the pulse in my head, and I was under so much pressure that all of my limbs were numb; I couldn't feel anything. I closed my eyes as we got into formation to begin the performance in an attempt to calm my nerves. Everything that you've gone through so far is going to pay off. Practicing day and night, missing school, withstanding all the emotional turmoil... all of it is going to be worth it. I opened my eyes again, and when the stage lights dimmed and my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I looked up and saw something that took my breath away.

It was a sea of sapphire blue balloons filling the entire balcony of the enormous concert hall. At a closer look of disbelief, I noticed that it wasn't just the balcony; the blue sea had spilt out onto the ground level as well. I hadn't noticed the cheering and screaming when we first walked out on the stage because I was so nervous, but now that I was more aware of my surroundings, I didn't know how I wasn't deafened by the noise right away, even with these noise-cancelling in-ears on. Noticing all of this, I felt a load being pulled off my chest. Knowing that these fans were here to support Super Junior's comeback and that they were ready to welcome us meant so much more than the world to me. I closed my eyes again to stay in the moment for a short while.

"And we're live in five... four..."

When the guitar intro for 'U' started playing through the in-ears and I opened my eyes once more, I knew I was in the zone. I could easily have been back in the practice rooms at SM. I felt the butterflies in my stomach disappearing and the anxiety evaporating; I felt totally confident and comfortable again, as if I were in a practice session.

I put everything I had into every step I took and to every note I sang; the weeks and weeks of preparation, no, the months, of preparation, was all for this moment.

Before I even registered that the performance had began, I found myself stepping forward for my solo section of the song. I felt my concentration waver slightly as there was a dramatic reduction in noise level as I began, but I was able to get through my part without significant problems. I was back in the zone as I finished up with my solo and got into the next formation. With the blink of an eye, the performance had drawn to a close, and I was brought down to Earth.

There was another deafening roar as we struck our final formation, marking the end of the performance. After we had stayed in that position for a few seconds, I took my in-ears out of my ears to be able to hear the fans better. I felt my eyes brim with tears and soon, the tears were rolling down my cheeks. I had never been so thankful to anyone in my life. I didn't care that they were not necessarily fans of mine; I was just thankful that they were willing to accept Super Junior as a group with me as the 13th member. I wiped my tears away quickly before the lights came back on, and I got to my feet with the rest of the members as we bowed together. I reluctantly put the in-ears into my ears again to be able to hear the producers but even then, I couldn't take my eyes off the sea of sapphire blue.

"We can get Super Junior off the stage. Congratulations on your comeback, guys. Good work," I heard out of the in-ears, and with more relief flooding over me than ever before, I pulled my spent body back offstage, and it hit me just then:

This was it. I had just debuted on the live stage.

*Author's note: Wow. I definitely was aware of the timeline and everything when I was writing, but I just got chills when I realized that I posted this on his real 5th debut anniversary. :S In any case, happy debut anniversary, Kyuhyun!!!!!!!!

And on the second thought, this chapter could have made a great one-shot... hahaha.