After Sungmin fell asleep, I changed into my pyjamas and wandered into Ryeowook's room. Ryeowook was also lying on his bed with his computer open.

"Hey," I said, lying down on his bed next to him. Ryeowook shifted his body to make more room on the bed for me.

"I'm watching dramas," he said with a smile.

"I can see that," I said, glancing at his computer.

"Do you want to watch too?" he said. "I don't mind starting the episode from the beginning again."

"Okay," I said, and I settled into the bed.

We were watching for about an hour when I heard the faint sound of the doorbell ringing over all of the noise in the living room. "Is someone at the door?" I asked, looking at Ryeowook.

"I thought I heard it too," said Ryeowook, pausing the drama.

"Keep watching, I'll get it," I said, and rushed to the door to answer it as Ryeowook resumed the drama. The guys in the living room were too busy laughing and, I guess, wrestling to hear the doorbell. They had clearly raided the fridge for more drinks and anything edible; the living room was already a mess. I opened the door to reveal the next-door neighbour. Perplexed, I bowed.

"Hi," I said.

"Can you keep it down? It's past one in the morning, and you guys aren't the only ones in the building," he said, clearly irritated.

"Um, yes. I'll let them know. Sorry," I said, bowing with apology.

"I'm calling security if it's not silent in 10 minutes," he said in annoyance.

"Yes, sir. I'm very sorry," I said. I bowed again, and closed the door as he turned around to go into his own apartment. I turned to the chaos in the living room, but then I wasn't sure how to start. I had tried so hard not to be the one to break the party, but it seemed like I was going to have to be the one anyway. I thought about what I should do for a few seconds, then scanned who was in the living room - it looked like everyone except Sungmin, Donghae and Ryeowook were here. I lingered around the edges of the circle of bodies for a second, then cleared my throat.

"Uh - sunbaenim," I said. No one heard it, or they ignored it; either way, it was clear that I wasn't loud enough. "Sunbaenim," I said louder, and I waved slightly at the same time. This time, about half of them turned their heads to look at me.

"Um, the next-door neighbour was just here. He says he'll call security if we're not silent in 10 minutes," I said timidly. I was afraid that they would get angry at me, but they nodded.

"Let's move it to our room," said Kangin, looking at Leeteuk. "Our room's soundproof."

There was general agreement while I breathed a sigh of relief and turned around to go back to Ryeowook's room.

"Hey, Cho Kyuhyun, where are you going?"

I turned around. "Me?" I asked, surprised.

"Shouldn't the maknae be cleaning the living room?" asked Kangin, looking at me with disapproval.

"What?" I looked at him in disbelief. "Sunbaenim, I just got here from the office and I just went to my room. I didn't even - "

"What are you saying?" Kangin asked, cutting me off.

"I'm saying - sunbaenim, I - I don't think - I don't think I should have to be the one to clean the living room," I said. As soon as I said it though, I knew I had just dug myself into a hole.

"Would you rather clean, or get hit?" asked Kangin. The noise had reduced to nothing, and when Kangin said this, everyone was looking at us.

Hell, I was in trouble anyway. I might as well see how far I could go with this.

"I really don't see how I deserve either, sunbaenim," I said, still in polite honorifics.

Kangin scoffed. "Wow, this kid - " I stayed frozen in place, but I didn't lower my gaze this time. I hadn't done anything remotely wrong.

"Stop talking back and do what you're told," said Heechul with a glare. I turned around to look at him.

"But I didn't contribute one iota to the mess," I said bravely. "I would willingly be the one to clean if I were here with you, but all I did after I got back from the office was answer the door."

I saw shocked faces around me, and I wondered if I went too far - but it was too late. I'd crossed the line already anyway.

"Watch your mouth," said Leeteuk with total menace, sending a chill down my spine. Even then, I didn't back down.

"Sunbaenim, I just don't think this is fair," I said, looking at Leeteuk in his eyes. Leeteuk gave a laugh of clear disbelief.

"You're doing this because you haven't been beaten in a while and you miss it?" said Heechul with the biggest frown I've seen on his face.

"No, that's not it at all," I said. I finally felt my stomach tighten. "I - I just don't think I deserve this, sunbaenim."

"This is ridiculous. Bring the broom," said Kangin angrily.

"No," I said, surprising even myself. "I'm sorry if I came across as rude just now, but I still don't think - "

"He's out of his mind," said Yesung, shaking his head. For a moment, I wondered if that were true - I didn't know why I was doing this. There was silence for a second, then I heard a door open. I turned my head to see a perplexed Ryeowook walk out of his room.

"What's going on?" asked Ryeowook, then seeing me surrounded by the rest of the members, his eyes widened. "What happened?"

I just looked at Ryeowook for a few seconds, but then I felt a hand take me by the front of my shirt. I faced front again to find Kangin's face in front of mine.

"Hey, pay attention," said Kangin, and I looked away slightly, not meeting his eyes.

"What are we going to do about this?" said Leeteuk with a frown. "It's supposed to be a fun night, and just because of Cho Kyuhyun..."

The words pierced my chest like I didn't expect; I had just spent hours practicing and studying instead of celebrating my debut stage so that they could have more fun, and I'm the one to have ruined the night? All I could feel was disappointment and betrayal. "That's so unfair," I said, looking into Leeteuk's eyes. I could feel tears welling up my eyes. "Hyung, that really hurts. I gave up a lot for you to have a good time today."

"Watch who you're calling 'hyung'," said Leeteuk, glaring at me. "I'm not like Sungmin."

Kangin still had my shirt in his hand, but I bowed my head and started crying for the first time in front of any them. I was so hurt with his words that didn't even try to hold in the tears. The tears streamed down my face without any sign of stopping.

"God, this kid ruined everything," said Kangin, he let go of my shirt with a rough push of my chest, and I fell backwards to the ground. Even as I sat there, I couldn't stop crying.

"That is so unfair," I said again through my tears.

"Get up," ordered Kangin. I did, but I was still sobbing.

Kangin opened the closet and grabbed the broom. I just bowed my head and continued crying. "Get your hands on the wall," said Kangin. When I didn't respond, Kangin took me by the arm and forced me into the wall. I was still crying so hard that I was more or less blinded by my tears as I stood with my hands on the wall.

I was at the point where my entire body was numb because I was crying so much. I knew Kangin was hitting me hard, but I was so removed from my senses that I barely felt anything. On top of that, I was crying so hard even before he started hitting that even if I had reacted, nothing would have been different; he might as well not have hit me for the same reaction. I just stood there, taking it all until I lost count, and then I heard Eunhyuk speak with shock in his voice.

"Oh my god, hyung! Stop! He's bleeding!" he shouted, and he ran up to take me by the arm and put it around his shoulders. "Kyuhyun - oh god."

I was still crying so hard that I hadn't registered anything.

"Hyung, my room," said Ryeowook, taking my other arm. We walked through the hallway into Ryeowook's room, where the two of them laid me down in Ryeowook's bed, face down.

"I don't know what to - I'm going to get the first aid kit," said Eunhyuk.

"I'll get towels and some ice," said Ryeowook. Both left the room, leaving me alone in Ryeowook's room.

I didn't even feel much of the pain, but the tears never stopped. I looked up from the bed and saw Ryeowook's cell phone sitting on the bedside table. I reached for it with my quivering hand, and dialed.

"Ryeowook?" said the manager hyung groggily on the other end.

"Hyung," I said, trying to keep my voice as steady as possible. "It's Kyuhyun."

"Yeah, Kyuhyun. What's wrong?"

"It's not worth it."

"Did things happen between you and the members?"

I didn't say anything.

"I'll come over in a few minutes to sort things out. Hold tight."

"No, hyung," I said. "You don't have to."

"Why not?"

"I can't do this anymore," I said, sobbing into the phone. "I quit."