I opened the door of the van and got in the passenger seat and breathed a sigh of relief. I never knew school was this hard.

"How was school?" asked the manager hyung. I looked at him.

"Disappointing," I said truthfully. "I got scolded by the teacher just now for not having all of the take-home work done, even though I finished most of it. He has no idea how hard I worked. He said he didn't care that I never slept more than three hours every night just because of schoolwork."

"How was everything else besides schoolwork?" asked the manager hyung.

"It was insane," I said, shaking my head. "I couldn't even go to the bathroom during break. It was crazy, just like you predicted. I should have listened to you."

"You're okay though, right?" asked the manger hyung, clearly concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I hesitated. "I think I might have had one or two pictures taken of me though," I said, eyeing him. The manager hyung's expression hardened.

"I told you not to - "

"I know. I tried," I said, my eyes downcast. "Sorry."

"Well, if you're not taking this seriously anymore, there's nothing I can do to help you," said the manager hyung with an irritated sigh. This comment took me by surprise.

"Hyung, how can you say that?" I said, hurt. "I am taking it seriously. I want to do my best while I'm still here."

"You're not showing it," he said, turning his head away me.

"I really did try," I repeated, looking at my lap. Was I really not showing that I was doing my best?

"I've made it clear to you before that just trying isn't good enough anymore."

I bit my lip. "I'm sorry."

"I've also made it clear that apologizing doesn't cut it, either."

I sighed. "I'm really sorry, sir. I'll do better," I said, hanging my head.

"Eunhyuk asked me to drive you to the office as soon as you were done with school, so that's what I'm doing," said the manager hyung coldly as he started the car.

"Yes, sir," I said, putting my head against the headrest with my eyes closed. Why did no one understand how hard I was trying to please everyone? How was I supposed to do more schoolwork than I was doing without sacrificing work? How could I have tried harder to keep them from taking my pictures more than I did? How much harder did I have to practice to make my performances acceptable to Eunhyuk?

The manager hyung glanced at me with disapproval as he drove. "Lose the attitude. It's not like you did anything right."

I took my head off the headrest and opened my eyes. "Yes, sir."

"You're wrong if you think I'm going to let things slide because you'll be leaving in two weeks. So don't even think about slacking off," said the manager hyung.

"Hyung, I'm not slacking off," I said, offended. "I've been working really hard. You know that."

"Then stop just working hard and start doing things right," he said harshly.

I sighed. I'm trying, I'm trying, I'm trying!

"Yes, sir," I said, reeling in the words that I really wanted to say.

The manager hyung ignored me and continued driving until we got to the office.

"Do everything Eunhyuk tells you to do, and I expect things to be perfect by the end of practice today," he said.

"Yes, sir," I said again. I got out of the van. I bowed to manager hyung, who ignored me, and slowly made my way to the practice room where Eunhyuk was waiting.

"Again."

I sighed. We had been practicing the stage manners and dance for that tiny section for four hours. I wiped the beads of sweat off my forehead, and went through the section again for the couple hundredth time. When I was finished, Eunhyuk shook his head.

"Again."

I crouched down on the floor in despair. "Sunbaenim, I don't know how to make it better," I said with my face in my hands.

"Come on, get up. I'm tired too," said Eunhyuk. I got to my feet and faced the mirrors again with a sigh. I did the part again.

"You're not even trying anymore," said Eunhyuk when I finished. I closed my eyes in frustration.

"I am," I said, tired.

"You're not. Do it again," said Eunhyuk sternly.

"Sunbaenim!" I protested.

"Do it again," repeated Eunhyuk, shaking his head. I let out a yell of frustration.

Eunhyuk sighed. "Do you want a break?"

I looked at him and nodded. Seeing this, Eunhyuk gave a small laugh.

"What's so funny?" I asked, not even having energy to laugh along.

"You look like you're really sad," said Eunhyuk.

"I'm just..." I shook my head and sighed. "I don't know how to make it better."

Eunhyuk was silent for a few minutes, then he spoke.

"You know, I thought it was because you were uncomfortable with it. I thought repetition would help," said Eunhyuk. "But there's no way you wouldn't be comfortable with it still, after doing it that many times."

I thought it over. Was that it?

"It's like the awkwardness is part of you," said Eunhyuk, shaking his head. "I've never seen a case where the awkwardness wasn't because the person was uncomfortable with the song or dance, so I don't know how to deal with this."

"Actually..." I started. "I... I think you might be right. I mean, I'm comfortable with how well I know the dance, but this wasn't the kind of music I thought I'd be singing when I first got into SM."

"So you still think it's a comfort issue?" asked Eunhyuk.

I nodded.

Eunhyuk looked at me.

"Then do it again."

Eunhyuk was finally happy after a ridiculous nine straight hours of practicing just the four-second segment over and over. He called the manager hyung to ask him to drive us to our dorm while I dragged my sore and tired body around, sweeping the practice room until the manager hyung was here. Since Eunhyuk was also there, I wasn't sure whether he was still cross with me; in any case, Eunhyuk was so pleased that I had gotten over the awkwardness that he was talking nonstop for the entire ride back to the dorm. We arrived at the dorm at around 2:30am, stepping around the living room which was still a mess from three nights ago. Eunhyuk looked at me. "Can't you just clean it?"

"No," I said, shaking my head. "I never even use the living room anyway."

After wishing Eunhyuk a good night, I walked into Donghae and Sungmin's room, exhausted. Sungmin was already asleep, but Donghae was fully dressed and sitting on his bed with his laptop open.

"I was starting to think you might not make it," said Donghae when I bowed. I had to think a second about what he was saying, then I remembered.

"Oh, right. We're leaving the dorm at 3:30am, right?" I asked. Donghae gave a big smile.

"We have to leave in less than an hour," said Donghae. I didn't think I'd ever seen him that happy before.

"That's great," I said reluctantly.

I laid down on the floor in my clothes, between my blankets. Donghae looked at me, surprised.

"You're going to sleep?" he asked, confused.

"Just until we have to leave, hyung. Please," I said, turning over on the floor.

"Fine, I'll wake you up at 3:15am," said Donghae.

"Thanks," I muttered. And as soon as I said it, I was asleep.