…..who would have thought that things would turn out this way……..

   ….we were sitting on the green snow-soaked grass….under the warm sunlight

           …as I pushed the swing for you,..you were so happy..giggling

      Everything sounded like music to me……………

                      …

               ……….for whom are we fighting for………..

-Dead Silence-

The most uncomfortable moment in the world is resting its soul in the dark alley. Everyone’s face filled with confusion and uncertainty. Still can’t accept what just happened. Daesung kept playing with his hand and staring at the ground. They all remained silent but each of them knows clearly that they are crying their lungs out in their heart. Especially Jiyong….

I wa the leader!..I promised them!..And why?..

I’m such a failure

It kept repeating in his mind. /meow~/ a black cat ran past them and it caught their attention.

/flashback/

“oppa oppa!! Buy me that cute little black fur ball<3!”

The same words…..the same voice…..the same person…took place in their mind.

Taeyang sat at the far most corner keeping himself drowned in his thoughts. The scenes are running in his head like a low-budget movie. Every vivid vision is coming back to him. He wished it was all just a dream but deep inside he knows it’s reality and it’s eating him alive. Your voice is ringing in his head non-stop. Taeyang can’t help but to feel guilty. He clenched his chest tight every time your images come back to him.

“!!!” Jiyong finally bursted out, startling everyone. *punch* Jiyong threw his fist at  the innocent moss-covered wall, poring his anger on it. “hyung” Seungri surprised and worried and shot up from sitting. Seungri took Jiyong’s bleeding hand in his and blew air on it. “What are you doing, hyung? Hurting yourself?”

Jiyong replied nothing and instead he shook off Seungri and pushed pass him. Daesung walked over to Seungri and hugged him.  Taking big hard steps, Jiyong stormed over to Youngbae, who had been quiet all the time and sitting at the corner, eyes fixed at the ground.

Jiyong held up Youngbae by the collar. “WHAT THE WERE YOU THINKING YOU BASTARD!!!!!!!!? DID YOU LOSE YOUR BRAIN OUT OF FEAR?!!!!” Seunghyun tries to hold him back but he seems to be completely in his the-dragon-mode.

“Jiyong-ah~ stop it. You’re scaring the kids”. Dae and Ri’s faces are paper white. They haven’t gotten over form the shock they received from the incidents they encounter before yet and with Jiyong throwing the tantrum and kicking around is not really helping at all. Seungri’s face looks like he’s gonna faint any minute and Dae holding him is also shaking violently.

”Hyung-deul,…please stop…” tears he held back starts to fall madly on Dae’s face “I beg you… pl..ease..s..top..” Daesung said between sobs and with all his might to talk while choking.”

Jiyong stopped for a moment and Youngbae took the opportunity and pushed Jiyong back. Now he’s standing above Jiyong.

 “DO YOU THINK I DID IT BECAUSE I WANT TO?!!!!! SHE’S WEAK AND WHAT THEY WANTED WAS US!! NOT HER! WE DREW ATTENTION TO THEM. WE WERE INVITING DANGERS!!! JIYONG YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU’RE SUCH AN !!!!! YOU’RE THE ONE WITHOUT A BRAIN!!! SO GROW UP!!!!”

It shocked everyone. It was the first time ever that Youngbae raised his voice in front of them. Normally, Jiyong would punch him in the face right away but now…..it’s different…. Because

Youngbae is crying……

For the first time in Jiyong’s life, no scratch that, in everyone’s life, Youngbae is shedding tears. Every time they were in trouble, he was the one to soothe them, calm them down. They all thought Youngbae was the mentally strongest one. But in fact, he was the strongest pretender. Youngbae is scared….scared of losing his tough mask, scared of people thinking he’s weak and always wanted to be the one you can lean on whenever and be there for everyone, but what he scared the most is losing people he love the most. But now it’s happening…a nightmare come true….

“Youngbae-ah…” Seunghyun called his name holding the already calmed down Jiyong.

The realization shone upon them and they all became quiet in their own thoughts.

“I’m sorry….” Jiyong said half-whispered, causing Youngbae to look up from his tear-stained face. Seunghyun and Daesung also shocked for the second time. Seungri stopped crying and all his attention is on the hyungs. Jiyong is staring at the ground and said nothing. Too many things are happening today. First, Youngbae cried a river and then Jiyong ‘apologized’.  Silence rested within them.

“That’s it. Get up” Seunghyun broke the silence and pulled up Youngbae and Jiyong by the arm. “Hyung…..”

“Come on. You two, get up, too” Seunghyun gestured Seungri and Daesung to get up and headed to the opening way.

“But hyung, what are we doing?” Daesung questioned.

“Well….” Seunghyun’s back facing them, “you’re not planning to stay here frozen, mourning all night, huh?”  Seunghyun said without looking back.

“We haven’t lost faith yet, right? That’s what all that matters. So get your asses moving. After all, we have a promise to keep with you” Seunghyun tilted his head towards them, giving a smile.

A/N --> too many angst and sadness happening around >.<. For my lovely viwers, I’ll post something lovely for the next chapter as a present! So stay tuned!!!