Lee Sungmin

“You’re performance is still as stunning as ever Min…” Kangin-hyung called me right after singing the last part  of the song and bidding the audience goodbye. “Thanks…” I replied wiping of the dribbling sweat on my forehead.

“Hmm. Though you’re really spacing out, it’s like your thoughts are not with the music.” He commented and it’s true, I was spacing out. I’m finding Kyuhyun on the crowd and since the spotlight is bright I didn’t get the chance to see him.

“Hey, are you in a hurry because of that Kyuhyun guy…” Kangin-hyung asked quite hesitantly. I looked at him. “Ah, he’s waiting for me so…”

“Is he the one you’re talking about the other day?” he asked once more and the subject of the topic is pressuring me a little bit that I feel a little bit uncomfortable.  I gave a small nod. “Well, I need to go, see you.” I bid him goodbye and ran out from the dressing room.

I walked nervously around the club, the regular customers greeted me as I passed them, looking here and there for Kyuhyun. After almost 2 minutes of looking at the public tables, I decided to take a peek at the private booths, and at last I found him.

“I’m sorry; I’m a little bit slow…” I greeted him and my heart thumped frantically when I saw his face looking seriously out the window. He was startled a little bit by my greeting and then retains his composure.

“Oh, no don’t worry about it.” He replied still not looking directly at me.

He ordered only a cup of coffee, and I admit I was a bit disappointed about Kyuhyun, staying in this cubicle where he can never see the performance instead on the tables.

“What is it you’re going to say?” he asked me snapping me out of my trance.

“Oh- Thank you, for bringing my guitar…” I smiled at him, his eyes widened for a bit then a light chuckle escape his lips. “I’m glad you’re smiling now…”

“Huh? What do you mean?” I asked looking at him, it may be awkward to admit it but I think I want to see him more in contrast to what I feel when I first met him. He looked at me. “It’s because you previously hated me right?”
 

I almost choked on my own saliva. “I-I’m sorry about that…” I said looking down embarrassed. “It can’t be helped though I seemed like a stalker.” He scoffed taking a sip of coffee.

Now that, we’re somewhat in good terms, I think it’s time he knows the truth about Park Sungmin, his boyfriend, and me, Lee Sungmin, his friend.

Friend?

I felt tightness on my chest, were not friends.

 “I have-“

“I’m sorry.” He said before I could even continue. He looked at me once again, and this time I almost melt. It’s the first time he looks at me directly and this time he never turned away. His eyes were piercing me, in a very warm way.  “I now know you’re different than him. I’m sorry for even thinking that you’re him.”

What did he mean by that?

I felt a much painful blow. I don’t have any idea if being different from Park Sungmin is a good or a bad thing, because I feel like being not ‘him’ would…

“Would end everything…”

“What did you say?” he asked me quiet confuse. I must’ve said that phrase out loud and in the state of shock, I can’t even move one bit.

“Sungmin-ssi?” He asked once more but it seemed like everything else was a blank space.

What’s really happening to me? A moment ago I hate him but now…

What are you doing to me Sungmin?

“I need to go…” I said abruptly as I stood up and pick up my things. I can hear him ask why but I can’t face him, not now, I don’t want to hear this conversation.

I think I'm going crazy now... I don't know what's going on my mind anymore. Since learning about Cho Kyuhyun, is the Cho Kyuhyun, Park Sungmin's been crazy about I've been like this in front of him? Is my memory of him still vague? Is there something I'm missing?

This is not good. 

I needed to get away from him as soon as possible that I almost drag myself out of the bar, without even care as to who I bumped into. I just needed to remove myself from the thoughts of him and maybe I'll get back to my composure again, maybe me meeting him and being friendly with him was a bad idea after all, maybe...

"Lee Sungmin!"

I gasped stopping on my tracks, I've return to reality and I recognize that I was supposed to be running like that towards a busy highway. I almost forgot where am I when a hand grasp my arm and turn me around making me fall into Cho Kyuhyun's dark brown orbs.

....................

Sungmin was held in place by Kyuhyun's firm grasp, the latter panting from exhaustion, he's been chasing him for quite some time now and it seems like the former can't hear him. "Are you alright you look pale? Is something wrong?"

Kyuhyun's worried question startled Sungmin, by now he can feel his hands sweating and his knees getting weaker and weaker. "Lee Sungmin..." Kyuhyun held him by his shoulders. "You just ran off without saying anything... did I do something wrong?" Sungmin looked directly at Kyuhyun's eyes who seemed to quiver the moment he did. Feeling that his heart suddenly beat harder than before by his actions made him confirm something he wanted to shook off ever since.

His tears fell slowly, as much as he hated to look this weak in front of someone other than his dear friend who passed away 4 years ago, he can never help it, because the reason he is crying is because of that friend.

That stupid friend who led him to meet this man who he knows will rattle his supposed to be dead heart.

.....................

Cho Kyuhyun

I saw him in disbelief, he's crying in front of me, begging me to let him go, to leave him alone, to get away from him. His face reminded me of Sungmin's crying face the night he died. Why is everything becoming so complicated now? 

Thinking the things I regretted the night I let Sungmin out of the door rebounded back to me. It's as if I wanted to take it all back, take him all back and correct the mistakes that I did, and it got me questioning...

Did this guy came into my life for me to correct those mistakes?

Out of impulse I pulled him closer and wrapped my arms around him in embrace, his body was just like my Sungmin's, he's warm unlike when I hugged Sungmin the moment I saw him lifeless. His soft hair was against my cheeks, and his scent reminded me how at home I felt when I'm with him.

"Sungmin~ don't leave..." I muttered as I buried my face on his shoulders. //

.........................

Lee Sungmin

"Sungmin~ Don't leave..."

Kyuhyun's word rang to my ears over and over even when we already parted. It felt as if he's begging me to not go. The name I heard from Kyuhyun's lips was my name but not exactly mine. It seemed like Kyuhyun is calling for another person someone who's not with us at that moment, but my heart fluttered for the first time ever since I was born. This kind of emotions I'm really not used to it, it's all new to me. This kind of fluffy stuffs are not me at all. Why am I feeling like this? Is it because...

The embarrassment of the commotion we did at the middle of the street was nothing compared to the embarrassment I'm feeling right now. Oh god! I can't sleep with him running here and there inside my thoughts. 

"I'm getting close to him Sungmin, what am I going to do? Am I even allowed to do that?"

My heart. Is not listening to my brain anymore.

...................

"How's your day Kyu? Something new?"

Kyuhyun lay on his bed exhausted, covering his eyes with the back of his hands. He pursed his lips that has been quivering. 

Sungmin sat lightly on his side. "What's wrong?"

"Hey, Min, I met someone..." Kyuhyun murmured and Sungmin looked at him questioningly. "What's he like Kyu?"

"He looked exactly like you, only with Black hair, and he plays musical instrument really well, he sang too..." Kyuhyun narrated still not moving from his position.

"Wow... that's definitely not like me... are you trying to say I can't do those things? Such a meanie-" Sungmin pouted now lying flat in his stomach, his chin resting in his hands.

"Hey, are you tricking me? Did you send him here?" 

Sungmin looked up at Kyuhyun's remarks. "Hmm... that's a secret." he whispered smiling. "Looks like I'll be replaced already... that's good Kyu~ you've suffered long enough"

"Is it okay to be close to him?" 

Sungmin frowned. "Why do you ask such questions? Of course it is... I bet he'll be great..."

"I love you..." Kyuhyun muttered under his breath. Sungmin smiled in response. "I know..."

Kyuhyun removed his hands to stare blankly at the ceiling, chuckling a bit. "I'm making things up on my mind again... Ryeowook will be frustrated if he knew."

...........

"Hey you! You're hiding something I know!" Ryeowook eyed Kyuhyun suspiciously, they were out for groceries, which Ryeowook insisted that Kyuhyun buy since he didn't want Kyuhyun settling with 'instants' all the time.

"Why do you always try to figure out what's on my mind?" Kyuhyun scoffed smiling at Ryeowook who pouted in reply. 

"Wait- you just smiled at me pouting? Somethings really fishy Kyuhyun..." Ryeowook said. "Did you have hallucinations again?" 

"Nothing of the sort." Kyuhyun replied choosing in between two types of fishes. "But this is really a waste... I don't cook." 

"I'll cook for you if I have time." Ryeowook smiled widely. "You're my best friend after all, I can do that stuff."

"You're just volunteering to keep a closer eye on me... I'm okay now Wookie..." Kyuhyun sighed. "I'll be fine-"

Ryeowook looked at him apologetically. "That's what makes me uneasy... you always say you're okay... the last time you said that I found you the other day intoxicated..." 

Kyuhyun sighed, he knew all too well that arguing with Ryeowook is pointless, the man can see beyond what normal people can see, especially if it's him. "Why don't you let me take care of myself Wookie, I don't want to burden you or any of the sort...you have a life too." Kyuhyun muttered under his breath, Ryeowook stopped on his tracks, and Kyuhyun looked up at him just in time to see a deep frown his best friend tried to hide. "Sometimes, you're really stupid... that's why I can't leave you alone." Ryeowook replied, smiling happily striding pass Kyuhyun, pushing the grocery cart.

Of course Kyuhyun knew it all too well. What Ryeowook really felt about him. He's his best friend after all, but he couldn't bring himself to turn him down before Ryeowook even say anything or confess his true feelings to him. It would be insensitive of him to do so. Actually he did consider trying to be with Ryeowook but...

Sungmin  just won't leave. 

It'll be unfair to use someone just to forget the one you love.

Then what about Lee Sungmin?

Kyuhyun's mind boggled with the idea, trying to convince himself to stay away from Lee Sungmin as soon as possible, but it seems like fate had played another trick on him.

And he found himself wanting more than he could bargain for.

Wanting to be beside a person who he will surely take for granted.

Is there no limit to his selfishness?

..................

"Kyuhyun-ssi?" 

Sungmin called out to the person standing in front of his door, his hands on his pocket, and his face was in an obvious surprise when Sungmin called out to him.

He had no idea why he came to that place bringing all the groceries, he hasn't gone home right after he drive off from Ryeowook's place and his mind was probably somewhere not out of his physical body.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't know why I'm here-" Kyuhyun started , not knowing what to explain to remove Sungmin's worried face. 

"Ah- Is that so?" Sungmin trailed off. "Uhm- Since you're here do you want to come inside for a cup of coffee or anything..." Sungmin offered opening the door wider as Kyuhyun nodded cautiously and stepped inside.

Kyuhyun looked around. Sungmin's apartment is bright, the place is clean but there's nothing much to see, it wasn't decorated nor was fully furnished. There's just simple furnitures arranged neatly. His guitar was lying on the carpeted floor with some musical score sheets beside it. 

"please sit down." Sungmin gestured to the sofa and Kyuhyun cautiously sat down as his eyes followed Sungmin to the kitchen. "Do you want coffee or juice or -"

"You have wines?" Kyuhyun's gaze fell to the cabinet above Sungmin where at least 10 wines were placed and displayed perfectly. 

"Oh~" Sungmin looked at his wine collection then smiled sheepishly towards Kyuhyun. "I'm just a huge fan of wines... But I'm not a drunkard..." he chuckled.

"I love them too..." Kyuhyun said looking directly at Sungmin. The latter looked at him for a moment and then turned away. "Do you like to drink some?" he offered, pursing his lips. "Maybe next time... I'll have coffee please." Kyuhyun replied.

Sungmin heaved a deep sigh.  Sure, he wants wines but he thinks that drinking wine with Kyuhyun was a bad idea. His heart frantically race when Kyuhyun said he loved them. 

Sungmin, after preparing coffee placed it in a small tray and walked towards Kyuhyun who's looking at his guitar intently. "What's up with the groceries?" he asked snapping Kyuhyun out of his trance. 

Kyuhyun looked at the plastic bags of goods. "Oh~ My friend ask me to buy those so that I won't eat instants all the time..." he started. "Then why are you bringing them here?" Sungmin asked. "I'm not that broke for charity you know." he joked as he laughed . "Yeah..." Kyuhyun looked at him in wonder for he haven't seen this kind of expression from this Sungmin ever since they met."The truth is..."

"You can't cook?" Sungmin finished his sentence with a suppressed smile showing in his face. Kyuhyun took a careful sip from his coffee, hiding his embarrassment. "Is it that obvious?" he murmured and Sungmin broke out to a fit of laughter. Clutching his stomach and pounding the coffee table. 

"Hey- is it that funny?" Kyuhyun asked loosing his composure too. "Yes it is... you looked so cool yet you can't cook?" Sungmin said still laughing heartily. "Do you want me to teach you? or do you want to hire me to be your cook?" 

Kyuhyun looked at Sungmin carefully, this time his heart was telling him to grab the chance. He wanted to stay with this person more and more. Even though he can't help but compare. "Sungmin..." Kyuhyun sighed the other man's name and that stopped Sungmin from laughing almost instantly.

It's like a bullet that pierced through Sungmin, the way Kyuhyun called him is exactly like the last time. He was calling for someone else.

"Yes?" Sungmin plastered on a smile and Kyuhyun was obviously surprised. "I think I shall cook for you then... give me that..." he said and he pulled the groceries from Kyuhyun's hands to take a peek on the ingredients inside."Hmmm... carrots and pork, and potatoes...curry! Do you like curry?" Sungmin asked.

"Is it okay?" Kyuhyun said hesitantly. "I mean, If it's okay for you to cook or am I bothering you?" Sungmin looked up from the grocery bags. "Of course, I could literally hear your stomach you know..."

To Be Continued