“Min?”

Sungmin turned around just in time to see Kyuhyun’s betrayed expression. His tear-streaked eyes focused on his lover, the fact that he was currently on his bestfriend, the other man’s former love’s grave sink in slowly. The time he dreaded came at last, and he will not escape this.

“W-what are you doing here?” Kyuhyun asked taking a small step forward, confusion written all over his face as he looked at the grave then towards Sungmin who looked at him trying to be composed. He wiped the tears in his cheeks before smiling awkwardly at Kyuhyun who only return it with a serious gaze.

“I’m visiting a friend.” he managed to say without choking. He can feel his throat refusing to produce voice. Kyuhyun looked at him, still in confusion before he pursed his lips controlling the emotions he was keeping in at the moment.

“You-“ He started before sighing and looking at Sungmin again. “Please explain this to me. D-do you know him?”

The smaller man shivered at the other’s cold tone but remained unfazed, he needed to calm down so that he could explain everything and hopefully, make Kyuhyun understand.

“Yes. I’ve known him… longer than you probably did.” Sungmin stared to Kyuhyun’s eyes who wavered for a second, not believing what the other was saying. “We were- both patients… at the hospital.”

“Are you saying- that you-“ the doctor scoffed, looking away from the other before clenching his fist to the flowers he brought. He returned his gaze on Sungmin, now filled with anger. “Do you know that he’s my former lover?”

Sungmin sighed and swallow a lump on his throat. “Yes.”

As soon as that one word came out of his mouth, it was followed by an angry spat of curse from Kyuhyun, he dragged his feet angrily towards the other and faced him. “So you knew me? Even before we met? That day when you save me, you- you- said that you didn’t know me is that a lie? The moment when I said that you look like my past lover do you know right away that I’m talking about Sungmin.”

“Kyu-“ Sungmin breathed out trying to reach out for the other guy. His eyes were tearing up but he held it back, crying won’t do him good. Kyuhyun looked at him in utter anger, disappointment and disbelief.

“Listen Kyuhyun, I-I forgot okay, It’s been years since he died. I didn’t know you at first… believe me Kyuhyun…” He said trying so hard to clutch on to Kyuhyun’s sleeve as if the man will be gone if he didn’t do so.

“How could I believe you when you hid everything from me? And if you did forget, why didn’t you said it to me the moment you remember?!” Kyuhyun snapped at him, his anger evident on his tone as he pushed Sungmin’s hand away from him. “What else Sungmin? Or is that even your real name? When did you and my Sungmin met each other?”

Sungmin moved away, taken aback by Kyuhyun’s sudden change of affection towards him. Pain. He could feel it all over his head, his body and his heart. Kyuhyun disregarded him right there and then and he reverted back to the past Sungmin. As he recall what the other said.
“Kyuhyun…” he said and it all came back to him, the aches of having no one beside him for years, sitting alone in the hospital room, losing hope and waiting for death.

“M-My real name-“ he stammered. “ My real name is Sungmin. Lee Sungmin.” he said regressing to his old self, distrustful, afraid. Kyuhyun scoffed audibly. “Don’t give me that crap.”

The other looked at Kyuhyun, his eyes were becoming dead in the passing second. “What else is there? What are you still not telling me?”
Sungmin turned completely numb all of a sudden. The pain was too much, the accusations the other spat at him ended what he gathered for the years he was lonely. His hope shattered just like that.

“His heart, when he died was transplanted on me.” he said staring blankly at the other who widen his eyes in disbelief. “What did-“
“The doctors transplanted Park Sungmin’s heart to me.” Sungmin said nonchalantly and Kyuhyun’s face contorted.
“You took away his heart? Who told you you could do that huh?” Kyuhyun grabbed Sungmin’s shoulder and shook him vigorously. “You mean Sungmin’s in that grave now without a heart?! How can you be so selfish huh?”

“What else do you plan on stealing from my Sungmin. His face, his name, his everything, you make me fall for you because you still wanted more?”
Sungmin’s tears didn’t fall but he’s crying.  He’s breaking slowly.

“How could you do this to me huh… Sungmin.” Kyuhyun’s tears fell first startling the now numb Sungmin in front of him. “I, I loved you…”
“You- didn’t.” Sungmin answered bluntly. Making Kyuhyun looked up. “You, because if you did… you will not hurt me like this.”

Kyuhyun released the other man harshly wiping his tears with the palm of his hand. “You’re right. Afterall… you’re just his replacement, something to fill up the gaps he left.” Kyuhyun released those words backing away from the other who looked at him with those empty eyes.

A small smile crept on the smaller man’s trembling lips. “I hate you… you killed. The only friend I had.” Sungmin side stepped and walk towards the other direction leaving Kyuhyun in the memory of the voice who shouted the truth he longed to hear the night Park Sungmin died. Realizing before kneeling towards the grassy bed of the grave, that the hopeless wails of cry from a distant on that night was no other than Lee Sungmin.

**
8 Months passed, Kyuhyun was already leaning on his desk and just finished the entire rounds, he was tired, in both mind and body. It turns out that Park Sungmin’s parents did know about Lee Sungmin, he gathered the courage to ask after recovering from the shock and Park Sungmin answered him truthfully. Apparently, it was his former lover’s choice, to transplant the heart.

He felt guilty, he felt stupid for saying those words, he didn’t mean it but he was angry and stressed out and in pain. He didn’t knew it would hurt him also, that now, Lee Sungmin is gone from him.

He didn’t see Sungmin for 8 months, he quitted from work, left his unit and disappears without a trace, and all he knew was that the only person he knew who knows where Lee Sungmin is, is his colleague, Choi Siwon.

But remembering eventhough a part of him wanted the other man so bad , he refused to ask, and he held his pride for ing 8 months, he never really look for the other, believing that after what he said, Sungmin, might not want to see him again.

“You should talk to him Kyu-…don’t you see, you’re returning to your wasted self.”

Kyuhyun hummed in agreement wiping his tired eyes with the back of his hand. “He will never want to see me nor talk to me again…” the doctor chuckled. “I hurted him.” he replied to the chime like voice sitting at the other edge of the table, looking at him with his innocent but dilated brown eyes.

“You already moved on… I don’t need to be here anymore right? Why punish yourself?” The voice asked again in a slightly inaudible tone.

“I love you… that will never change, and I will always need you. Lee Sungmin’s-“ Kyuhyun trailed off he really didn’t know what to say to the image of his past lover in front of his eyes, he knew that his mind is playing tricks on him, and he was hallucinating, but he needed company.

The image pouted leaned towards Kyuhyun and tap the back of the other’s head slightly. “Stupid Kyu… don’t you see?” he asked looking at Kyuhyun’s expression. “You use to look at Lee Sungmin as if he was me, your past… but now, I’m sure, with the way you look at me…”

Park Sungmin’s image stood up and walk to the window garnering the return of autumn with the wind it’s carrying. He peeked at Kyuhyun who’s looking at him questioningly. “The way you look at me, Cho Kyuhyun… is as if you’re looking at Lee Sungmin.” He returned the other with a soft smile before he disappeared.

**

“Kyuhyun? Are you okay?” Ryeowook tapped the doctor who’s been dozing off to the empty space right now. They were meeting as usual to their favorite restaurant. Ryeowook knew that Kyuhyun’s never been himself since a couple of months ago. The man didn’t even want to talk about it and he just pick up the pieces of the puzzle and put it together, Lee Sungmin disappearing in his bestfriends’s life, Kyuhyun drinking himself to almost every night, the return of the gloom in the other’s apartment. It doesn’t require a genius to realize that Kyuhyun, might genuinely love Lee Sungmin not because he can see Park Sungmin in him, though he heard that the latter lied to the other.

 It’s even a good thing now that Kyuhyun returned to his somewhat composed self after a few months, but the drinking habit never halted.

“I’m sorry what are we talking about?” Kyuhyun grinned at Ryeowook’s annoyed expression, the smaller man return to eating his pasta and stabbing the meatballs with his fork. “I said, the hospitals requiring teams for the other country’s seminar… are you interested, coz I am.”

“Stop stabbing the meatballs…” Kyuhyun chuckled. “I’m still thinking about it, is there still an opened slot?”

“Yeah.” Ryeowook dropped the fork when he answered and reach for the glass of beverage near him. He drank a small amount of content before wiping his mouth with the table napkin and returning his gaze to Kyuhyun. “There still is an open spot. Siwon turned down the offer he said he had a very important patient that can’t be left behind. You know, cardiology patients are unstable-“

The smaller man stopped abruptly as he saw Kyuhyun’s expression darken. He knew that Siwon has a very particular patient who will bring out the dreaded expression on the other doctor. “I-I mean, you know how it is Kyu-“ Ryeowook avoided the other’s eyes and stared to the outside window.
Kyuhyun never replied to his bestfriend’s inquiry. Instead he just put down his cutlery and sighed heavily. He was aware of Ryeowook’s piercing gaze at him. The other was studying him, and he didn’t want his uncertainty and confusion write all over his face but he guess he can never hide anything, not with his bestfriend, not with a psychiatry doctor.

“Why didn’t you find him instead of being like that huh?” Ryeowook asked finally letting his frustration with the other out. “If you’re being like that then why let him go?”

Kyuhyun pursed his lips and scoffed. “He lied Wook, it’s not like I could forgive that…”

“Oh cut the crap Kyuhyun!” Ryeowook threw the table napkin on the side of the table. “You already forgave him the moment he turned his back on you. The one you cannot forgive is yourself.” Kyuhyun lowered his gaze. “You cannot forgive yourself on the fact that you said words that’ll probably Lee Sungmin won’t ever forgive. And you hated yourself for that.” Ryeowook added.

“What am I supposed to do huh? He left. He’s gone. He never even explain further he just… disappear.” Kyuhyun said through gritted teeth, clenching his table napkin. Ryeowook leaned as if wanting to embed the words that he will say. He looks straight to the other’s eyes and said. “Ask yourself. Did you even try to find him?”

The smaller man, certain that he gets his message through to the other stood up and picked up his clutch bag. “I’m going. Pay for this.”

**
Ryeowook stormed out of the restaurant and rode the bus towards his unit. He hated it. The way Kyuhyun looked at him, how desperate the other was how stupid he is. It’s true, he had harbor feelings for the other for such a long time and Sungmin always beat him to it. He had accepted the fact that he can’t be love by Kyuhyun, but when Park Sungmin died, he had hope.

Selfish as he is, he had hope that Kyuhyun would look at him. But what happened after that accident was much more painful than not being love.
He saw Kyuhyun. He saw how the other died the same time his former lover was declared dead. He was there to witness how Kyuhyun fell from the throne he was sitting to the mud. He lost himself, as soon as he lost his Sungmin.

He love Kyuhyun. Maybe love him more than he love anyone else, but it was unfair. He prayed that if Kyuhyun will be like this, it’s better that the other’s lover didn’t left. He wanted to see Kyuhyun smile, laugh awkwardly, hang out, loosen up and be himself, not the Kyuhyun who locked himself to the world, drowning himself in cigar and cheap drinks just to forget.

And then the worst came. Kyuhyun began hallucinating. He caught Kyuhyun talking to himself, talking to someone, depressed and all he was talking with someone he can’t see. He was talking to Park Sungmin. It crushed his heart that he ended crying when he was asking Kyuhyun who he is speaking with. Kyuhyun knew he was hallucinating with the look of helplessness in his eyes, his tears fell and he begged Ryeowook for help.

Ryeowook unconsciously wiped a tear that fell from his eyes. Kyuhyun, love this new Sungmin. He knew because, he saw the old Kyuhyun, even better than who he was before Park Sungmin’s death. He knew that Lee Sungmin was the answer to his prayer. The one who will return Kyuhyun to the beloved Kyuhyun he loved and he cherished.

But, now that Lee sungmin is gone he found another chance but it was futile. Kyuhyun came back to his old self, the dying Kyuhyun. He wondered why didn’t the other search for someone who would be his happiness, why did he let the other go. Why did it have to be him who will rub it off to Kyuhyun’s face? Why the world needed him to hurt like this?

He found his stop and signaled the driver to pull over. He slowly made his way towards a small convenient store. He wanted to drink. He wanted to think clearly, he too wanted to forget. He paced towards the drink section and opened the fridge harshly, when he hit someone who immediately stumbled down, the man was pale, wearing thick clothes though the weather is not that cold yet.

“Sorry, Sorry… I wasn’t-“ The pale man bowed and halted his rambling the moment he realized that Ryeowook was familiar to him.

Ryeowook on the other hand froze as the pale man was also familiar. He knew this man’s face. Pale cheeks, sunken eyes, pale beautiful lips.

“Sungmin?”

**
Sungmin looked at Ryeowook, his eyes widening. He knew Ryeowook, he was the one who’s a little bit angered when Kyuhyun introduced them. He was Kyuhyun’s bestfriend.

He had left. He made himself disappear from Kyuhyun’s eyes. Out of the other’s way so that he won’t have to relive those memories, the pain, the disappointment and the sadness in Kyuhyun’s eyes. He expected it, that reaction but he believed that the other man would understand. But he thought wrong.

He walked away but his heart was left behind. He was hoping that Kyuhyun, would realize that he was really telling the truth, that he would find him but 8 months have passed and it seems like Kyuhyun won’t ever forgive him.

That’s the problem with walking away, you hope that the other will come and chase you and when they didn’t. It will leave you more shattered than you already are.

Seeing the surprise in Ryeowook’s eyes make him realized that Kyuhyun is still unaware of his whereabouts and this is just a chance meeting. He gave the other a small smile. “Ryeowook-sshi right?”

Ryeowook snapped from his trance and bowed slightly, still surprise to see the other. “Yeah, Sungmin-sshi.”

Sungmin fidgeted as he picked up the medicine that dropped from his hands. Ryeowook immediately helped him with it. There were no words exchanged but as soon as they both resumed their standing position. Sungmin gave him a worried smile. “I-Is Kyuhyun with you?”

Ryeowook immediately shook his head. “N-No he’s not.” Ryeowook answered him warily. “What happened to you Sungmin-sshi? Why do you look so-“

“I’m fine, just a couple of colds and all.” Sungmin shrugged. “How are you? It’s been so long…”

Ryeowook looked at the other quite sure that; the thinning of the other’s previously chubby cheeks wasn’t a good sign, plus the medications he saw. Sungmin is definitely sick.

“I’m fine.” He answered slowly assessing the other. Sungmin became thin, he has a small pinpoint rashes on his arms and was quite unstable.
“How’s Kyuhyun?” Sungmin asked with a smile that he is sure was a failed one because Ryeowook’s looking at him a little disturbed.

Ryeowook knew that Sungmin’s smile wasn’t genuine at all, and it is evident that the other man misses the other too, he wanted to do Kyuhyun a favor, tell Sungmin that the other already forgave him and that they should meet, but his selfish side came again. He can’t bring himself to say it.

“He’s fine actually.” He said with a rude tone and Sungmin nodded looking away for the hurt was evident in his eyes and he was guilty. But Sungmin already left Kyuhyun maybe this time he will have a chance. Maybe…

“I see… I’m happy for that.” Sungmin said sincerely and Ryeowook’s chest tightens. “I should go, Ryeowook-sshi…” Sungmin said   as he walked slowly away from the other. “Nice meeting you, and can I ask a favor please?”

Ryeowook looked up surprise as the other pursed his pale lips. He nodded quite unsure what Sungmin will ask him, they were never close and as far as he remembered he was not really nice with Sungmin.

“Can I ask you please, don’t let Kyuhyun know that we met…” Ryeowook’s heart stammered and a lump on his throat was stuck. “I don’t want Kyuhyun to be bothered again… please.”

Ryeowook’s heart tore apart. He knew. He was no match for Sungmin. He was nothing compared to Sungmin. He lost.
He nodded unaware of his decision. Sungmin was completely ignorant of the battling things on the other man’s mind that he just smiled weakly, said ‘Thank you’ and walked away.

Sungmin’s heart was impossibly hurting. He never knew that knowing someone you love is okay when you were hurting alone can be this painful, can be this torturous. He can’t take it.

It was genuine seering pain. A stab on his heart he felt hot liquid trickling from his nose, a loud hammering of his heart and it all became black. It all became numb.

Ryeowook swallow, Sungmin was gone right but… Kyuhyun needed him. He can never fill the gap. Sungmin, needed Kyuhyun too. He snapped out from his trance and ran to the door of the convenience store. he saw Sungmin huffing, obviously crying waiting for the next bus.

“Sungmin-sshi!” he called but the other seemed to not hear him he walked faster so that he could talk to Sungmin more, he wanted to say something important.

But it shocked him, one moment Sungmin is standing up and the next the other guy’s knees buckled and fell to the ground.

“Oh my God!” he yelled as he ran towards the now unconscious Sungmin, the other’s nose is bleeding and he’s heart rate was unstable.

“Help! Somebody call an ambulance please!”

**

To be continued

A/N: I'm incoherent. I hope this update was long enough, I'm struggling on the last parts didn't know how should I make it more dramatic kkk. Anyways. I estimated 3 more chapters and it's the end.

For those who are also waiting for the 'Luck Stealer's' update I'm sorry guys, I won't be updating for the next week too, my exam are still on the brink it's a miracle I can still do this >.< Thanks for your support ^^