Walking down a tree lined park driveway where all the leaves fall on deep shades of orange. Kyuhyun’s hand was holding Sungmin’s. It was their 3^rd anniversary. Sungmin’s already graduated from university while Kyuhyun’s just as busy in his early years of medicine.

“You still find time for games even though your very busy…” Sungmin pouted swaying their intertwined hands. “Hmm?? You’re jealous again aren’t you…” the younger of the two replied. “Well, it’s really weird. I’m jealous of a computer game…” Kyuhyun pulled Sungmin closer his one hand s onto Sungmin’s waist. “You think being jealous over someone else is much better than being jealous of a computer game?” Sungmin looked at him darkly pulled him closer by the collar and said. “You just try… I may at computer games but one thing’s for sure… winning you over is one game I’ll always win.”

++++++

“Kyu…wake up…” A cold voice woke up Cho Kyuhyun who’s laying his head above the study table. The lamp Light are the only one opened, compared to the year before. His room is clean. No more ramens on the floor, no more soju bottles. The room is unusually tidy but still lifeless.

Kyuhyun cracked his neck. He’s been studying his patient’s records all night completely forgetting when to eat. He stopped schooling for almost a year, and then he decided to continue studying  then eventually succeeded. It was a long ride but he made it, yet the person who'll be most proud of what he achieved is now gone. He checked on the calendar it’s the last week of October. No wonder the cold air is seeping in again. He sighed. It’s that time of the year again.

“It’s still dark in here Kyu… open the windows, it’s autumn again… it’s really beautiful outside…” A blonde boy, wearing pink sweaters is sitting at the edge of the bed leaning his head on the pole and looking with his cold eyes intently at Kyuhyun. His pale glow almost illuminates Kyuhyun’s dark thoughts.

Kyuhyun smiled weakly. “I don’t want to, it’s cold.” He then stood up and walked towards the bathroom then washed his face. The figure followed him. “I wish I could make it warmer…” he said in a sad tone. Kyuhyun dried his face and chuckled. “Shall we take a walk?”

Sungmin looked at him worriedly but Kyuhyun walked past him, out to his wardrobe as he picked a familiar white sweaters and trousers. “Kyuhyun… that again?” Sungmin asked, but Kyuhyun wore the garments without second thought walk to the mirror just like before checked if everything is in place while Sungmin moved beside him.

“My memory of you is still clear do you know that? I really miss you…” Kyuhyun asked Sungmin who faked a smile.

“I know…” the latter replied.

“Happy 7^th anniversary.” Kyuhyun sighed then looked at the mirror again. Sungmin’s image disappeared as he walked towards the door but he didn’t miss a small chime like reply… “I love you too…”

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Walking down an old paved road in the middle of a line of trees now shedding its red colored leaves, Kyuhyun sighed heavily, he took his steps one at a time. It’s been 3 years already. Yet the ghost of the event never leave him even one bit.

“Kyuhyun… let me put my hands on your pocket…” Sungmin used to say it to him all the time, every year. He’ll put his cold fingers on Kyuhyun’s pocket so that it may look like he’s embracing him from behind. Sungmin would always laugh at how Kyuhyun reacted to it. Then slowly Kyuhyun will put his hands on his pockets so that he can touch Sungmin’s hands there.

Unknowingly he reached the end of the pavement. He crouched on a small stone in the corner and his hands traced the rock. Eventually the memories of what happened there faded with time. But why can’t he forget.

It was a fight; He and Sungmin are fighting on their anniversary. Kyuhyun’s very tired about school and his grades gradually fell. He’s very confused that time that Sungmin’s worried and concerned nagging pissed him off. He shouted at him some hurtful words that he regretted the moment his boyfriend ran out the door. His pride never let him run after Sungmin. It’s cold and its late, what he didn’t know was Sungmin waited for him at the end of that pavement, when his parents called in to let him hear the devastating news he couldn’t believe any of it.

Clutching his fist as he sat next to the rock in this cold weather, the people taking a stroll on that park may think he was crazy, but maybe he is… it’s been a long time and it seems like he’s the only one who can’t forget. How he, Cho Kyuhyun cause the death of someone he loves.

to be continued