DH:
> you know how a couple days ago you told me to look into the mirror and took at my eyes

YJ:
> yeah
> did you try it?

DH:
> yeah i did

YJ:
> and?

DH:
> and even though i still dont love my face or anything
> theres an improvement

YJ:
> im so proud of you Dae ;A;

DH:
> why did you tell me to look into my eyes though?

YJ:
> would it be creepy if i said you have nice eyes? LOL
> actually i told you to look there coz you know the saying the eyes are the window into someones soul?
> well I figured thatd be the most beautiful part for every person
> coz its you know kinda like looking directly into your own soul
> kinda
> idk my logic is weird LOL

DH:
> it makes sense though
> im glad you told me

YJ:
> im glad you listened

DH:
> how are you feeling today?

YJ:
> good

DH:
> how are you really feeling?

YJ:
> Dae dont tell me youre gonna be checking up on me every day like my parents
> just coz im sick doesnt mean im dying

DH:
> hey you just sprang it up on me randomly
> i think i deserve some leeway for now

YJ:
> LOL yeah thats true
> i dont really like telling people about it though
> coz they always think im just gonna keel over any moment
> or they feel sorry for me or pity me
> i dont want any of that
> i want them to treat me like a person, not a sick person

DH:
> people are just worried about you
> like what would you do if i was the one who was sick?
> im pretty sure youd be spamming me with like statistics or something and asking me how i am, whether or not i took my meds
> probably getting worried that the survival rates arent that high or give me a list on things i should be doing
> this is pretty slack compared to what you would do if i was the sick one

YJ:
> LOL why arent you spamming me with statistics and asking if i took my meds?

DH:
> youre smart
> you dont need me to mother you
> im like your you gotta look after
> but how are you feeling today?
> like seriously, how are you feeling
> i dont want any sugarcoating or anything

YJ:
> LOL i thought you liked your sugar

DH:
> not this time

YJ:
> ahhh ok then
> im feeling kinda hot actually
> its like … well i dunno what day it is since the chemo but i feel hot
> on in the inside my body is radiating this heat
> it was worse yesterday and the day before
> but today its okay
> this feeling should be gone by tomorrow

DH:
> if youre on chemo and stuff shouldnt you be resting?
> i dont know a lot but i know that kind of stuff but i heard its painful

YJ:
> eh its not really the chemo thats bad
> the radiotherapy is the worst or maybe its just the combination of them both and the occasional bone marrow transplant, not sure
> but some days its horrible its so bad sometimes i just want to die
> it hurts that bad
> then i get some days im super tired but i cant sleep coz i can feel this burning heat radiating off me
> then i get the days where my muscles all feel sore at the same time and i dont feel like moving
> im actually tired most of the time

DH:
> but you always seem so lively whenever i talk to you
> and youre online almost everyday
> or you should at least try to sleep more

YJ:
> i try to sleep more but it doesnt work coz of the aching feeling but i get enough sleep
> mmmm i should be honest with you shouldnt i
> you know the day i talked to you for the first time
> i was having one of my bad days
> i wanted to talk to someone to distract me for a while since all my other friends werent online that day but then you decided to follow me
> then we started talking heaps and those bad days arent so bad anymore
> like it still hurts on my bad days but its nice to have a distraction
> i look forward to talk to you every day and even more when im having a bad day
 

DH:
> i wish i could help you more though
> youve been through so much yet you still manage to help me out when youre the one whos dying in pain

YJ:
> ohhh no dont let this be an excuse for you to not tell me what youre thinking
> dont be one of those people who keeps their troubles to themselves coz youre suddenly friends with the sick kid
> i told you im sick coz i wanted to let you know that no matter what day it is, a good day or a bad day, i look forward to talk to you

DH:
> youve helped me heaps too
> probably more than you can ever imagine but still
> i wish i could help you more though

YJ:
> i didnt really do anything
> ive only just talked to you, its not like i sent you a billion dollars or anything

DH:
> but still, it means a lot to me. there has to be something…
> OH i know what i can do for you!
> you said you find it hard to sleep right?

YJ:
> yeah

DH:
> ill sing for you
> ill sing you to sleep

YJ:
> LOL but didnt you say your parents dont like you singing?
> what if they hear you?

DH:
> dont care
> if it helps you sleep, i dont care, they can hear me all they want

YJ:
> i dont want you to get in trouble for me
> you dont have to do this

DH:
> i want to do this
> not just for you, i want to do this for myself too
> i want to sing