Daehyun was sitting backstage as usual with the other trainees. The constant booming of the music thundered through but everyone had gotten so used to it, it hardly bothered anyone at all. In fact many people were found popping and locking to the bombastic beats of the music as their seniors performed on stage.

It was going to be an easy night since the trainees had already danced during the intermission time and the show was coming to an end. There were still a handful of other shows they have yet to perform but for that particular day, it was almost over. Daehyun overheard a couple of the trainees praise Zelo after a couple of weeks teasing him about his stage name. They didn’t seem to understand or pick it up as easily as Daehyun but after some time they learned to grow with it. This however was completely unheard by Zelo since he was too busy spinning around backstage with Jongup who too mimicked his movements or perhaps it was the other way around, Daehyun couldn’t tell.

“You really should get off your and do something,” Jongup called out after catching Daehyun leaning against an unused oversized speaker, “You just spend most of your time eating.”

Daehyun laughed aloud, “It’s not my fault there’s different food everywhere we go. It’ll be a waste if I don’t try them. Anyway you continue spinning; I’m just going to check my Facebook. It’s been a while. I probably got a thousand friend requests.”

Jongup rolled his eyes at him and continued playing around with Zelo and left Daehyun to his own devices.

Daehyun took out his phone and checked if he had any signal on it. He had always found it difficult to connect to the internet since he wasn’t technically savvy but he had Zelo do it for him when they arrived at the arena. The first thing he did was connect to Facebook since he expected to be bombarded with notifications from Youngjae but much to his surprise he had nothing. His notifications and his inbox were both completely empty and bare but he had one friend request from one Kim Himchan.

A smirk found its way across Daehyun’s face as he accepted the request. He suspected that Youngjae had been busy telling Himchan about his trip abroad and the fact that he was a trainee. Himchan looked like one of those people who loved to mingle with others who may have inside gossip about celebrities and idols alike.

He scrolled through his wall, thinking that perhaps Facebook was malfunctioning but there was nothing new there at all. He went over to Youngjae’s page where his confusion began to be aroused.

Currently getting the 11 secret herbs and spices from Colonel Sanders. I would tell you all but it’s a secret.

Youngjae’s status had been updated a couple hours ago. The status didn’t make any sense whatsoever, unless Youngjae was eating KFC or something along those lines. But his confusion was completely ruled out when he read the status updated a couple days previously.

Dear friends of Youngjae,

I am overwhelmed with emotion as I pass on this message to you all. Many of you know about Youngjae’s battle with leukaemia but unfortunately despite his fearless efforts he wasn’t able to overcome it. My heart is heavy as I am also coming to terms with this news but Youngjae told me to tell all of you to ‘stay strong’.

If any of you need someone to talk to please don’t be afraid to add me and speak with me.

He also asked me for a favour, so please don’t be alarmed when his status is updated one last time.

Kim Himchan

Nothing. Nothing was all that Daehyun felt at that moment after his heart dropped down to the pits of hell. It couldn’t be true; surely it was all a hoax. It was a joke; there was no way that Youngjae was gone. It was impossible. He had told Daehyun thousands of times that he was going to be okay. He had told him a billion times that he was going to watch him on stage one day. He had made promises with Daehyun. None of this could possibly be true.

Again and again he read the message updated by a Kim Himchan and each and every time he did he felt a part of himself die. The reluctance of acceptance was suffocating him as he felt a lump form at the back of his throat. A sudden rush of raw emotion flooded his face as he slowly tried to piece everything together. The pressure in his nose was nauseating, the blurring of his vision was disorientating and yet he felt nothing all at the same time. He didn’t understand what was happening; he didn’t understand what had happened. It wasn’t real. No, it was impossible. It couldn’t be true.

He his lips to get some feeling in his body but his tongue had gone bone dry. The sick feeling in his stomach returned. It was nowhere as nauseating as the time he sang in front of his school or the time he had angered Youngjae. No, this was a new feeling of sickness. It made him feel like he was dying, physically dying as his soul began to crack. He had held onto his soul throughout the tortures of his parents and they had merely scratched it but this, this was far worse.

“Daehyun, are you okay?” Jongup asked as he approached him with Zelo following nearby.

He looked over at Jongup and attempted to his lips once more, again they were left drier than before. He could feel the worry emitting from Jongup and Zelo since he couldn’t quite see clearly with his blurred vision from those blasted tears that refused to fall. Was he okay? Of course not but Daehyun nodded anyway.

“But you look like you’re about to cr – ”

“I’m fine!” Daehyun snapped at a shocked Junhong, Zelo, whatever his name was at that moment. He didn’t even care that everyone turned to look at him at his sudden outburst. He had just lost the one person that meant the world to him.

Nothing else mattered anymore.