Daehyun wiped off the sweat off his brow with the back of his arm as he sat himself on the floor of the dance studio. Jongup was there beside him whilst Junhong bounced his way downstairs to grab some refreshments. Daehyun felt the younger boy look over at him but chose to ignore him as he watched over the other trainees practice their dancing relentlessly.

“You haven’t told him have you?” Jongup asked as he kept his eyes on Daehyun, “You know we’re leaving tomorrow.”

“I can’t, I’ve dragged it on for so long, he’s going to get mad at me if I tell him now,” Daehyun sighed.

“He’s going to get mad at you if you don’t tell him,” Jongup stated most definitely, “Why didn’t you tell him before when he was over at our dorm? You had all night to tell him.”

“I tried,” Daehyun added hopelessly, “I was going to tell him but then we got distracted and I forgot all about it. Whenever I hop online it’s always too early in the morning for him so I haven’t gotten the chance to tell him.”

“You’re useless,” Jongup snapped at him.

“Why are you getting mad at me for?”

Jongup folded his arms and leaned against the mirror wall behind them, “How would you feel if your friend was going away and never told you about it? You should really get over yourself and tell him. It’s not like his going to get mad at you, it’s not like you’re off on some holiday. You’re working.”

“Yeah but…”

“But what?” Jongup repeated.

“I feel really guilty about leaving him. I’ve bailed out on him a lot and it’s not like we can meet up if I’m away from the city. Feels like I’m abandoning him.”

Jongup grunted in frustration, “It’s not about how you feel. It’s about him. How is this any different than now though? The last you spoke to him it was days ago, isn’t this pretty much the same as you being away? Just go call him or something. Now.”

“But I think he's –”

“Stop making excuses, just do it,” Jongup ordered.

“Can’t believe I’m listening to you,” Daehyun grumbled as Jongup pointed towards the exit.

Daehyun sighed and shuffled over towards the exit as he dodged the other trainees. He suspected that Youngjae would be eating dinner since it was getting late but he knew he wouldn’t care. He would give up his dinner completely if Daehyun asked him too. But that wasn’t the reason why he had been avoiding Youngjae. It was true that a part of him was feeling guilty about abandoning Youngjae but that wasn’t the main reason why he had pretty much stopped contacting him altogether.

He took out his phone that sat in his pocket and stared at the photo he had of Youngjae who was smiling brightly as always as his thumb hovered the dial button. Daehyun tried to recollect his thoughts back to the night the other had slept over.

That night Daehyun had let Youngjae sleep on his bed, not only out of mannerisms but also the fact that he was sick. He doubted the doctors would be too pleased with Daehyun if they found out Youngjae had spent the night sleeping on the cold hard floor. But Youngjae was a stubborn person, if he refused to do something, nothing could ever sway him otherwise. 

Despite Daehyun’s rants, Youngjae refused to sleep on the bed and insisted that he slept on the floor. The more Daehyun wanted to argue the louder Youngjae’s voice rose so in the end he submitted. He allowed him to sleep on the floor while he himself took his own bed. They had chatted the entire night away, making sure that their voices were never loud enough to be heard the room next door and in the end, Daehyun found himself sliding to the floor to accompany his stubborn friend. Youngjae didn’t ask him to join him, he wanted to do it simply because… well he wasn’t entirely sure. He guessed it was because if Youngjae had to suffer sleeping on the hard ground, he would suffer with him. It was like a wordless pact they made with each other, if one suffered, they both had to.

But that wasn’t why Daehyun had avoided him. No, that wasn’t the reason why he wanted to have some time apart.

Having someone so close to him both mentally and physically was a strange feeling. It wasn’t uncomfortable, just strange although he did like the closeness. It made him feel human. He never had a person so close to him before. Not even his ‘friends’ at school knew so much about him, even though they knew him throughout most of his childhood. But that wasn’t what bothered him.

It happened when he was just about to drift off into the world of sleep. He could feel it wrapping around his body like a warm embrace and he welcomed it almost immediately. Daehyun had his eyes shut and was sure that sleep had consumed him but what happened next felt so real but yet he couldn’t find himself believing it. He must have dreamt it.

 “Daehyun?” Youngjae whispered.

Daehyun didn’t reply, he couldn’t reply, he was too tired and not only that, his throat felt constricted and prevented him from making any kind of sounds whatsoever. The only sounds heard in the room were the slow and steady breathing that escaped Daehyun’s lips. Daehyun heard some rustling underneath the covers and at the tips of his lips he felt something caress across them, something warm and airy. He wanted to open his eyes to see but he couldn’t do it. It was as if they were made of lead. The tingling feeling on his lips was replaced by a new sensation, a new feeling; the feeling of a pair of soft supple lips pecked against his own.

It was such a tender kiss that Daehyun honestly couldn’t tell if he dreamt it all or if it was reality. When he finally managed to open his eyes, he looked over at Youngjae. He had his eyes shut and underneath his eyelids, Daehyun could make out his eyes darting erratically some side to side.  Youngjae was most definitely asleep which only left Daehyun feeling confused.

That was why Daehyun was suddenly so reluctant to contact Youngjae again. He couldn’t distinguish fact from fiction. He would feel awkward if he asked Youngjae about it. What if it didn’t happen and it was all just a dream? Youngjae would about it until the day he died. But what if it was real? What was he going to do? He didn’t even know if Youngjae knew he if knew. He didn’t even know if Youngjae even did it in the first place. But the fact that Youngjae hadn’t called him or even bothered messaging him on his Facebook or Tumblr or anything was an indicator that he too was avoiding him. Or at least that was what Daehyun had thought at one stage but then quickly countered it with that perhaps he was too busy to actually contact him. Perhaps he was spending the past couple days with his family. Either way Daehyun had to make the phone call or Jongup would strangle him with his bare hands.

With a heavy sigh he called Youngjae.

He didn’t pick up the first time but on Daehyun’s second attempt his better half answered sounding half dead. “Daehyun?”

“You okay?” he found himself asking almost immediately, “You sound like you’re dying.”

He heard Youngjae chuckle in a croaky voice, “Thanks for waking me from my nap. Also I lost it after the gig, too much screaming. I only managed to get it back recently.”

Daehyun left out a laugh as he listened at his raspy sounding friend. He listened to Youngjae’s steady breathing momentarily as he tried to find the right words but once again, Youngjae was the one to break the silence.

“What’s up? You don’t usually call,” Youngjae questioned in his strained voice.

“I um, you know how I’m working under TS right now?” he asked stupidly.

“Yeah.”

“I’m going to tour with the seniors for a couple weeks. Don’t think I’m going to be on stage or anything, I’m pretty sure I’m just an understudy for the actual dancers but yeah, we’re all going with them.”

Even though Daehyun couldn’t see Youngjae, he imagined him smiling as he huskily replied, “That’s great. It’ll be good experience.”

“Yeah,” Daehyun replied simply as he trailed off.

“But?”

Daehyun in a breath as he continued, “But I’m leaving tomorrow.”

There was a momentary silence before Youngjae managed to croak, “What?”

“I know. I should have told you sooner. I shouldn’t have kept this to myself for so long. I’m sorry. It’s just that whenever I see you, I just forget about it. We start talking about other things and I forget. Also lately whenever I’ve been online, I haven’t seen you. It’s probably because it’s so early in the morning but I’m sorry.”

Youngjae hadn’t said anything, he simply remained quiet which made Daehyun panic even more. He would rather be yelled at than be given the silent treatment.

“Youngjae?”

“What do you want me to say?” Youngjae snapped which sounded far more aggressive with his hoarse voice.

“I don’t know. I don’t even want to go. I rather just stay here but I have to go,” Daehyun muttered hopelessly, “I’ve been feeling guilty about this since the moment I found out.”

“Which was when?”

“Sometime last week –” Daehyun had answered but was cut off by the sound of a dead dial tone.