I Don't Want To Be

Chapter Sixteen

Seungri had painstakingly counted the days until G-dragon and Top’s return.

It had been three long days and he knew this because that was in how long he had not seen Young Bae since he woke up in bed alone. It had wrenched at his heart to wake up alone, as if the passion they had shared was nothing but a fleeting moment that he had to wonder if it was real or if it had been made up.

That night he could have sworn that he saw something in Young Bae’s eyes that made him fall in love- or however much in love you could be with someone that you’ve shared your body and soul with. He had wanted more of the man, and more of his time. He wanted to marry him. But no matter where he looked or whom he asked, no one knew where Young Bae had disappeared to. It didn’t help that it seemed like Daesung and Minzy were flirting around with each other- really the sight of it was sickening to him.

The more the minutes passed had turned to hours, the more he felt his pain mix in with anger and many other emotions that he couldn’t believe he was feeling them all at once. Yet the one that really resounded the loudest within him was the emptiness of loneliness. That void that was born in his heart had already turned into an endless abyss. Yet even though he had all these conflicting feelings, there was just one thing that he wanted and that was for Young Bae to come back to him. Nothing more would be better than his return to him so they could have a chance to be.

But that was not going too happened, and he blamed that damned Kings Diamond for it. It was it’s fault why Young Bae didn’t want to be with him! It had Young Bae’s attention and as long as it existed, Young Bae would love it and want it more than he ever wanted him. But how? How could he get rid of that damned diamond that everyone else seemed to love and care about!? It had been the reason why his father had been killed, it was the reason he was kidnapped, it was the reason for Young Bae’s distance, it was the reason behind Top and G-dragon’s greed, it was all Daesung cared about.

Where did that leave him?

As he stood beside the stairs and looked down at the Young Bae make his way confidently to G-dragon and Top’s side, he could tell that no, it had not been imagined. They had shared something special and he could feel it in the very veins of his body as he remembered those languid touches and soft breaths. But why was he so distant now? Was The King’s Diamond that ing special? More special than him and more worthy of attention? Seungri could not help but feel scorn at the thought of it.

Swallowing hard, he pushed away from the stair railings and kicked off to rush his way down the stairs and made his way briskly over to where G-dragon and Top stood before Young Bae. All of them were talking about what had happened while they were getting the Diamond back and whom they had faced. How the kingdom was doing and once more he was reminded that he had a broken home now. Seungri didn’t want to know what had happened and he didn’t care anymore. He just wanted it all to be over!  

He silently stopped and stood beside Young Bae as G-dragon finally tossed the kings diamond towards him. Young Bae grabbed the diamond and looked at it with awe, as he finally had it in his hand. Thoughts about bringing about a misery to the world so they could all feel and be as low as he felt- so they could feel what he has felt. He wanted to teach the world a lesson and he also wanted to make it his and rule it. And it was already at the tips of his fingers. Young Bae smiled, gently touching his fingers over every jagged edge of the Kings Diamond and he could feel the power pulse. A soft light shone inside, and he narrowed his eyes at it, wondering what it was and why it felt so warm…so alive…

Seungri on the other hand felt more anger flare up on him as he reached for the diamond and snatched it out of Young Bae’s hand, and ran away. Young Bae gasped, feeling a sudden chill settle in him as the warmth and pulse of the diamond was taken from him. He turned to look at Seungri as he ran off with the Kings Diamond held tightly in his hand.

He had no doubt it was Seungri, he’d know his back anywhere. “, Seungri, come back!” he called out taking a few steps forward but stopping himself, angry at Seungri. Of course, at that time G-dragon decided to giggle at how funny it was. Young Bae turned his head to glare at G-dragon, but restrain himself from snapping at him when he saw Top’s own intense gaze daring him to just do it. “Well, aren’t you going to get him?” he asked, trying to remain calm for the sake of his own life.

G-dragon scoffed, “Right, we got you the Kings Diamond, he’s your problem already,” he said. Top didn’t bother to even say anything. Young Bae bared teeth, and fierce anger in his eyes that for the first time really startled G-dragon and Top. It was as if they could see the mania growing within Young Bae’s eyes.

“I’ll pay you whatever you want! Just get him” the man barked, “I need that King’s Diamond now!”

“, he’s foaming at the mouth,” G-dragon mumbled, and Top for the first time had to keep himself from laughing. But, as they looked at Young Bae who waited for their answer, the usual hunger of greed that would have made Top and G-dragon jump at the opportunity at getting paid didn’t exist. It was as if it had suddenly vanished, and the words of the old man echoed inside of their head.

 “A shinny rock? That’s all you little brats wanted?” he asked in disbelief. “Take your shinny rock and gets yous asses out of my property!”

“It’s just a shinny rock,” Top said, and Young Bae looked at them with utter disbelief.

“He’s getting away,” G-dragon pointed out, his head slightly tilted to the side as he saw Seungri running outside, visible through the large windows as he ran into the back garden.

Young Bae caught G-dragon’s curious gaze and turned his head, his eyes widening as he watched Seungri run further in. “He’s heading into the Rose gardens,” he said, worry lacing his voice, “The thorns there are dangerous,” he added, and rushed after Seungri. As Young Bae ran to go to Seungri, G-dragon wanted to also make sure Seungri was alright. The prince was a pain, but at the same time he really wished no one any bad. Seungri had grown on him as much as Daesung had as well, and G-dragon liked having people to be with. Maybe it was that he cared to much, or he really was as soft as Top claimed him to be, but he didn’t care. He wanted to make sure he was alright.

But the moment that he moved, Top reached his hand towards him and blocked his way. “I know you want to go, but your arm is injured. I can’t let you get hurt again,”

“I won’t” G-dragon turned to Top, “Come with me please,” he silently begged with his eyes. And Top sighed, relenting to G-dragon’s wishes a lot easier than he would have in the past. Was G-dragon turning him soft? Top didn’t know. What he did know was that in his line of work he had to have no conscious and although he hated to admit that Seungri’s sudden departure worried him as well, he could easily ignore that and not care for him. He cared for G-dragon above all else.

So if this is what G-dragon wanted…

“Let’s go then” he said. G-dragon smiled at him and both of them went to catch up and hope that they could find their way.

Meanwhile, Seungri felt the hard sting of tears blurring his eyes as he just ran, not caring where he was going or where it was that it seemed that his feet were leading him. He just kept running, running away as far as he could, and as long as he could. It wasn’t until a wild thorn, long and protruding, slashed his cheek that he grew conscious of where he was. Slowly reaching for his cheek as he looked all around him in awe at the circles of blood red roses, he brought his hand before his eyes to see his own blood painted on his fingers.

Blinking away from his hand, he moved further within, watching now as the roses seemed to move out of his way, clearing a path for him. His hand tightened around the kings Diamond heavily fitted in the palm of his hands, and his fingers twitched as he found himself realizing that maybe this was a mistake. He needed to go back, but his feet kept moving forward, and his eyes darted to the light of the diamond in his hands, that pulsing white warm light from within that seemed to breathe life into it.

He watched it, before he opened his fingers, wanting to drop it but it had already melted itself into his hand. Seungri felt his heart jump, and he shook his hand trying to get it to come off, but it wouldn’t. and then it burned and he screamed. Seungri’s scream was horrifyingly loud and full of pain as a white light surrounded him.

I don’t want to hurt you…

Young Bae found himself pushing through the brush where he was sure he saw Seungri cutting through. He didn’t pay any mind to what flowers he was stepping on, or what he was crushing as he tore his path through. At first he knew he was alone, but before long he found G-dragon and Top beside him.

“Where do you think he is?” Top asked.

Young Bae shrugged his shoulder, “I’m sure I saw him come through here! He’ll reach the rose garden at this rate. He will be there, I know,” he said, and turned towards Top. “The thorns in there have a poison in them so don’t let any of them scratch you!” he informed and G-dragon’s eyes widened slightly, worried now also for themselves.

“Why would you have a garden full of poisonous roses?” G-dragon hissed.

Young Bae barked a laugh, not believing the turn of events. “It was my mothers. She created it out of her hatred for my father’s unfaithfulness. I think she imagined him dying at a prick of a thorn or something,” Young Bae swallowed hard, “Instead, she herself foolishly ended her own life in her intense care and obsession with creating the perfect little ers, and even though they are hardly taken care of, with little water, they still dangerously bloom,”

Just as he finished saying that, the sound of Seungri’s piercing and loud scream made them all momentarily pause.

The scream was so pain filled, that Young Bae felt it grip his heart and at the same time pull it apart piece by piece. It felt as if his stomach had dropped, and he could barely swallow as his eyes filled with tears.

No, Seungri was in danger, and it was his fault. Young Bae felt the need to get to him and make sure he was alright, but his body was shaking. It was sharking and he didn’t know what feeling was currently dominating him.

He didn’t know anything anymore, and suddenly he sprinted forward, running hard and fast. G-dragon and Top followed after him, keeping a careful distance at that.

Young Bae pushed himself though, thinking over and over again that he was not fast enough. He needed to move faster, he needed to get to Seungri faster, and as he broke from the brush and into the dreaded rose garden, he felt his entire being flinch at the sight that greeted him, his mouth working itself as he shook.

His heart felt like it had just bursted.

“SEUNGRI!!”

“Well, I’m out of here love birds” Bom said as she grabbed her packed bag and moved to leave. Minzy and Daesung both blushed until they were crimson on the face and she couldn’t help but laugh at how the sight was so adorable.

“But…where will you go?” Minzy asked.

Bom paused, humming a bit in thought. “Well kid, like you wanted to come home, I think it’s about I realize I’m now a woman and I should go home as well. Maybe a hot guy will be there waiting for me,” she turned to her and winked, “If you know what I mean.”

Minzy laughed, shyly peeking towards Daesung and nodded. “Yah, I know what you mean. Good luck Bom, thank you for everything. I hope to see you again,”

“You will. You’ll see all of us I’m sure, Dara and CL as well,” Bom grinned, and then moved to open the door, “Well, Sayonara…” she said and paused in her sentence as she gasped. The sky outside was turning deadly black, clouds moving over the earth to create an artificial night. The moon blocked out the sun, and the clouds blocked out the rest of the sky painting the world into a hollow world of nothingness as the darkness swallowed the light.

“What’s going on?” Daesung asked as he looked around, both women cowering behind him as the clouds that were swallowing the light moved faster and faster towards them.

“What’s going on!” they all cried, and they were swallowed into nothingness.

Encased in one of the most beautiful crystal prison was Seungri.

There was several thorn cuts marring his unconscious body, as white lace seemed to gently encircle him. His clothes were gone, and Seungri seemed to barely be breathing. But what was shocking was that right beside him sat an elegant and beautiful woman, gently humming and running her fingers through his hair.

Anger rushed inside Young Bae and growling deep in his chest he moved rushed forward, arm raised so he could punch the crystal prison and get Seungri away from that woman. But before he could reach his destination an unbelievably large thorn shot up right from the ground up to stop him in his tracks. Behind him, G-dragon and Top had broken through the brush, and gasped huddling together when it seemed that there were several thorns being pointed dangerously close to them.  “Top,” G-dragon whispered his eyes wide.

This seriously was something like they had never faced before.

I’m Lee Hyori. The woman sitting down seemed to say, but her lips didn’t move. In fact, she didn’t even look away from Seungri as she kept brushing her fingers to her hair. her voice was calm at first, but when she turned to look at all of them, there was anger in her eyes. Was dying and living your life only for death all that much more satisfying, and more precious, than your love for me Hong Jun?

Her eyes were locked on Young Bae whom was looking at her with utter confusion. He didn’t know what she was talking about.

Why are you ignoring me? Why do you keep ignoring me, please… Hong Jun… She stood up, allowing Seungri’s body to slightly slump to the side. As Seungri did, blood slipped past his lips and dropped from the palm of his hand where the diamond seemed to buried itself into his skin. Young Bae’s eyes were fixed on him. LOOK AT ME HONG JUN!

“Shut up you , let Seungri go!” Young Bae snapped in his anger, and moved forward. When another thorn grew, he took a step back, but then kept moving forward. Careful for each time that each thorn tore through the earth, “Give Seungri back to me, Give him back!” he snapped, his fist reaching for the crystal wall that he was close to, but he was thrown back.

I’m Lee Hyori!!

“Young Bae,” both G-dragon and Top called. This was getting scarily ridiculous. Top raised his gun as he pulled it out of somewhere from his body, and shot through, tearing a few torn and then finally towards the crystal wall. The wall flaked slightly, a slice of its glassy jagged shape tearing off. But the bullets, no matter how many of them didn’t seem to do more than scratch the surface, and that was just not enough.  

That is rude! Hyori angrily turned to them and raised her hand, allowing the thorns to move towards them. Top and G-dragon had no choice but to jump the opposite way of the other to get away. When G-dragon landed, he had to steady himself, and was careful with his arm, before turning his head to look for Top. Worry gripped him for a second when he couldn’t see him fast enough, but his breath caught the moment that he saw him.

Top on the other hand was not so lucky, as Hyori’s anger was him. He managed to land on his feet, but he had to move away fast after he landed as a thorn grew from the ground. Several small ones lead by a vine then moved in from everywhere around him, and although he shot his gun at them, he was not fast enough to get all of them at once, and he didn’t have enough bullets to protect him either. The thorns just kept growing, the vines moving in on him until they wrapped around him and all pierced through him. The vines that carried them laced themselves over his body, making sure to keep him tightly wrapped as they pulled at his and carried him into the bush of roses. His eyes were closed, and blood dripped copiously from his torn skin.  

“TABI!” G-dragon scrambled to get to him.

“No, G-dragon, don’t move!” Young Bae screamed, turning to him, but it was too late. A large thorn shot up, and pierced through the center of G-dragon’s stomach, pushing him back harshly to a wall of thorns and roses, pinning him there. Several thorns buried themselves into the soft flesh of the thief, and kept him pinned upright. His eyes were no longer open, but the tears sliding down on his beautiful face were heartbreaking. The sight was breath taking and Young Bae found himself suddenly alone and conflicted. G-dragon and Top didn’t look like they were going to live through the colorful poison slipping into their blood stream.

This was his entire fault! What was he going to do? Why was he so helpless at a time like this? His mind raced for answers, until one crucial one resonated in his head.  He had to wake up Seungri. He had to wake him up and get him to stop that woman. But most importantly he had to get Seungri away from her. If that was the least he could do, even if he lost his own life, he wanted to save Seungri no matter what!

Now that we are alone, Hong Jun, please, talk to me.

Turing his head towards her, he once again had to wonder what she was talking about. “I’m not Hong Jun,” he snapped. “Seungri, wake up!” he called out, his eyes darting towards Seungri whom was still unconscious. Drops of blood kept pooling under him and he was worried that Seungri was dying right before his eyes. His skin was just to pale.

Where are you looking Hong Jun, look only at me! Why…why was death so much more important to you than me?

“Seungri! Wake up!”

Hong Jun, answer me!

“Come on Seungri, wake up. I know you can hear me. Please, I need you to wake up, I couldn’t stand it if I lost you” Young Bae called out, pouring his heart into his words, “I know I have been difficult and a jerk to you, I’ve ignored you and I probably hurt you- no, I definitely hurt you. Who am I kidding anymore, I hurt you and I’m sorry,”

Why are you ignoring me, stop looking over there and talk to me!

“I get it okay, I’ve been selfish only thinking about how the world has been unfair to me, but I’ve never really thought about how the world is unfair to everyone,” Young Bae swallowed as he glanced from G-dragon to Top, “Some of us don’t even get to call one place our permanent home, we don’t get to settle down and be with family and here I am complaining when I have a sister, and people around me that care enough to call. I’m part of respectable organization and I don’t have to hide where I get my money from. Maybe getting married to a Lady isn’t the worst thing that can happen in the whole world.”

Hong Jun!

“And maybe I let it consume my mind and I let my anger and irrationality get the best of me, but you know what…” Young Bae turned to look towards Seungri’s unconscious body, “I’d let all that anger go and I would be happy to be your princess…”

Why!

Hyori lifted her hand in anger, she really couldn’t see Young Bae as Young Bae and before long, the storm around them seemed to make itself present. The turmoil of feelings curled around the air and coiled into the wind, making it hard to breathe. Young Bae found the roots of the rose bushes suddenly snap to life from the ground and wrap themselves around his feet. He was then harshly being pulled down, and dragged into the sinking earth.

Why was death that much more important. Why couldn’t I be more important?

“Seungri, please, wake up!” Young Bae called once more, fear starting at the base of his spine as he was being swallowed down by the earth. He could see the darkness drawing in, and his eyes darted all around, landing on Top whom was swallowed into the nothingness first. He turned to G-dragon to see the last of his limbs, being swallowed in.

And it was moving in closer.

‘Seungri’ he painfully thought to himself, and sounding loudly apologetic inside his head. If this is what was mean to happen, then he would welcome it.

“Seungri”

“Huh,” Seungri looked up from his book towards the entrance of his room. “Daesung, what are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be with mother and father on that trip?” Seungri never really did care much for where his parents ever went on meetings to. Daesung looked at him confused, looking around.

“What are you talking about, where are we?” Daesung asked, for a moment not recognizing where he was. All he knew was that he had just finally made his way from a long and twisted path. Where was the real world though? He glanced at his hand and had to wonder if he had gone pale or if this world really was that black and white.

“We’re in Seoul Kingdom, duh,” Seungri said, walking over to him, “Are you feeling alright?” he softly asked as he walked over to Daesung.

“Seungri…how?” he looked around.

“Daesung, calm down,”

“NO! You calm down! You idiot. We are not supposed to be here. I don’t even know what is going on, all I know is I got swallowed into nothingness and now here I am!”

Seungri looked at Daesung confused. “What are you talking about? Have you gone off your rocker?”

“DAESUNG!” a female voice desperately sounded, calling Daesung’s name and Daesung sprung away from Seungri to go chasing the voice.

“Minzy!”

Seungri tried to reach for Daesung, but he was gone, as if he dissolved into a million pixels right before his eyes. Seungri took a step forward, being careful and wondering if he had just seen a ghost or something. Minzy? That name sounded familiar, frowning a little he made his way forward, and suddenly the world around him bursted into a million pixels and before he knew it he found himself in the apartment that G-dragon had first taken him when he kidnapped him.

He was seated in the floor, looking around, having an immense feeling of Déjà Vu. Suddenly the door opened and G-dragon walked inside. “Seungri, what are you doing here?”

“Huh” Seungri looked at him, for a moment not recognizing him. “G-dragon” he said, “But I”

“You have to go back!” G-dragon demanded, “Come on,”

“What” G-dragon walked over to him and grasped his wrist, dragging Seungri out of the apartment and outside. As they were walking outside, G-dragon kept telling him about how much of an annoyance he was. “Where are we going?”

“We’re going to Young Bae!” G-dragon explained, “Come on, he needs you,” he kept pulling him forward, and suddenly G-dragon disappeared, the hold on his hand becoming nothing but a distant memory as Seungri felt himself stumbled. He looked around him, worried now, and feeling alone.

“G-dragon, where did you go!” he called out. “Who’s Young Bae?”

Growling a bit at himself for feeling hopeless he continued to walk down the path G-dragon was taking him, “This isn’t funny G-dragon, you good for nothing thief!” he said, so wrapped in his anger that he didn’t notice how the world around him disappeared, “You G-dragon” he snapped, and froze when he heard the familiar sound of a gun being cocked.

“Who ?” A deep voice asked, and he spun around to face Top.

“You!” he said, pointing his finger, “You…you…you”

“Top,” Top snapped, narrowing his eyes at the dumb prince, “Get your act together, Seungri,” Top walked around him, “Lee Hyori, I had wondered where I had heard that name before. Are you really going to let the King’s Diamond take over and kill Young Bae?” The assassin smirked at him. “You’re such a bad person,”

Seungri watched him, with wide eyes, “what are you talking about! You kill people!” he accused.

“I have no conscious for what I do,” Top wickedly chuckled, “Sounds like you sure as hell do.”

“I…”

“What are you going to do, just give up?” Top asked. “I should kill you right here and now, put everyone’s misery to rest”

“What…”

“Well, then again, you’d do everyone a favor by swallowing the world in your feelings; Young Bae really is insignificant after all,”

“What are you…”

“Stop acting stupid and remember”

Top began walking away, and Seungri rushed after him. “Wait.” But he was too fast, and before long, Top was also gone, and the worlds disappeared again. Seungri found himself back at square one. Back in the safety of his room where he always ran to when he was facing that was too confusing or when he was scared.

Young Bae?? Who was Young Bae?

What were they all talking about. Seungri gripped his hair, and pulled “Why can’t I remember properly!” he begged his mind to put all the pieces of the puzzle together, but it wouldn’t.

“Seungri! Wake up!”

“What…” he looked around, that voice…it echoed in the walls of his mind and he felt like he could remember.

“Come on Seungri, wake up. I know you can hear me. Please, I need you to wake up, I couldn’t stand it if I lost you”

Seungri froze, listening to the voice talk.

“I know I have been difficult and a jerk to you, I’ve ignored you and I probably hurt you- no, I definitely hurt you. Who am I kidding anymore, I hurt you and I’m sorry,”

Seungri remained silent, unmoving as he listened to what else the voice had to say. His emotions calming down for once, and he felt a sense of peace come over him as well as warmth spread to his heart. He could nearly laugh as he heard that person pour out their feelings towards him.

“I’d let all that anger go and I would be happy to be your princess…”

And he felt warmth, and a smile, and a laugh leave him as he remembered. “Young Bae…I want to wake up…” he cried. “How do I wake up, Young Bae, help me!” he begged, looking around in a panic, desperately searching for an exit. It felt like he was looking for hours and he still couldn’t find a way out of this place!

He had been through the palace before, a large place he called home. “Young Bae” he whispered, and he slipped, falling forward, and he knocked his head into the wall. The wall then slid to the side, and he watched in amazement. A hidden wall?

Getting up, he finally ran through it and he was swallowed into the darkness.

Seungri let a slow moan past his mouth as his body ached in ways he didn’t think possible. Swallowing the shallow amount of blood in his mouth he finally opened his eyes and looked around him. There was a white light surrounding him, and he glanced down at his body before he rolled over, and felt himself fall into a grassy floor.

Trying to catch his breath as the simple movements left him out of breath, he finally looked up to see what was happening.

What he saw made his eyes go wide, and his heart hurt.

Young Bae...

I was gonna cut this half way but somehow I just couldn't until here... >< and I know, I know Youre all wondering if Gtop is dead, and if they are going to survive or what else will happen, Idk yet...

Ill leave it up to your imaginations for now! ^^