Kris stood uncomfortably outside the school therapists office. He didn’t want to go in and have someone try to ‘get to know him.’ He had no interest whatsoever in any of these people trying to talk to him. He was just a guest, temporarily visiting their lives. He would be gone soon enough, so they should really stop trying to hold onto any part of him.

He eventually gave in, raising his fist to bang on the door. It swung open a moment later, and a short, thin woman stood in the doorway with a wide smile. She had to have been waiting for him to get to the door so quickly, and that thought made Kris more than a little uneasy. She stepped back, motioning for him to enter the room, and reluctantly he did just that.

“Wu YiFan, right?” She said with a smile, and Kris closed his eyes momentarily.

“Kris.” He corrected. “I don’t like being called YiFan.”

“Oh. I apologize.” She said, bowing slightly. He bowed back, unsure of what else to do, and she lead him to a chair. “Why don’t you like being called by that name?”

“I lived in Canada for a long time. I just got used to being called Kris.” He said, spitting out the first answer that came to mind. He certainly wasn’t going to tell her the truth, that he didn’t want other people using it because it was the only thing his biological parents had given him. She nodded slowly, then leaned back in her own chair.

“I see.” She said. “How are you adjusting to being in a new country? I know it’s been a while since you’ve moved quite so far.”

“You read my file.” Kris said. It wasn’t a question, and she didn’t treat it as such, instead just nodding.

“But how are you adjusting?” She asked again. Kris sighed.

“Fine.” He said. “I’m getting enough sleep, eating enough food, everyone’s really nice, and I’m completely caught up with school work.”

“You’ve done this quite a few times, haven’t you?” She asked softly, her tone inviting. Kris raised a brow at her.

“You’ve read my file.” He said.

“Well there are things your file can’t tell me.” She said. “Like what kind of person you are, what you like to do, or-”

“There should be at least four different psychiatric evaluation overviews in there, each describing me as being emotionally distant and guarded, lacking proper social skills, displaying symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, and mild depression. Displaying no signs of having a violent or vulgar personality, though there is a noticeable lack of desire to connect with my peers or any foster parents or siblings.” Kris said. He sounded almost bored, like he was reciting a grocery list. “Hobbies include reading, playing basketball, and learning languages. If you’re going to try to dig for information, try asking something I haven’t been asked. Anything you could possibly want to know about me is in that file.”

“What happened to your hand?” She asked, catching Kris off guard for a moment. She was even privileged enough to witness the flash of surprise across his face as he looked down at the gauze.

“I got a steam burn making tea.” He said, shrugging.

“What’s your favorite color?” She asked. He looked confused for a moment, then tilted his head to the side.

“I don’t have one.” He said.

“Why not?” She asked, seeming to have expected this. He leaned back in his seat, really looking like he was thinking about it.

Why didn’t he have a favorite color? He didn’t have a favorite anything, really. He liked strawberry ice cream a lot, but thinking on it now, he had never called anything his favorite. People just assumed, and anyway, it seemed...childish. For something to be your favorite, you would have to attach an emotion to it - something Kris just didn’t do. But he wasn’t about to tell her that, so he just shrugged.

“I never took the time to think about it.” He said slowly, his tone guarded.

Silence fell after that, leaving Kris with his own thoughts for a few minutes. He had never tried to seem well-adjusted or anything like that. What was the point in trying to be something you obviously weren’t? But still, it struck even him as odd that he didn’t care about much of anything. Was he indecisive, or was he just that damaged? And how could he not have realized?

“Do you plan to go to college? Your GPA is remarkable, especially for someone in your situation.” She suddenly spoke again, and Kris found himself with another puzzling question.

“Why would I go to college?” He asked. This time she seemed surprised.

“Well, isn’t there something you want to be when you’re older? Some job you’ve always wanted?” She asked.

“Not really.” Kris said, brushing the question aside easily.

“But don’t you have goals? Dreams? Hopes?” She asked, and Kris raised a brow at her.

“No.” He said simply, shrugging. She looked a bit put out by his answers, but redirected the conversation anyway, not ready to give up so easily.

“Why didn’t you sit with Lay during lunch?” She asked. Kris felt a slight echo of the rejected sting he had felt at the end of lunch, but he didn’t let it show.

“Why would I?” He returned, but she was ready for it.

“Well, your umma said the two of you seem fairly close.” She said. “She mentioned that the two of you went out for ice cream a few weeks ago, and that you stayed up drinking tea together last night. Why would you chose to ignore him in public if you’re so close with him at home?”

“I didn’t ignore him.” Kris said flatly. “He sat with his friends, and I read my book.”

“So he ignored you.” She said, and Kris shrugged.

“Maybe.” He said, not seeing what she was getting at.

“Have you tried to make any friends?” She asked, and Kris sighed.

“Why would I do that?” He asked.

“Why wouldn’t you?” She countered.

“I see no point to it.” He said. “I’ll be leaving soon enough. Why make friends I won’t keep?”

“So you’ve never made friends?” She asked.

“No.” He lied.

“Ever?” She asked, leaning forward. Kris shook his head.

“Never.“ He reiterated. She looked at him with an understanding expression.

“You know...it’s ok to let people in once in a while.” She said softly. Kris rolled his eyes, trying to convey without words just what he thought of her statement.

What did she think would happen? Her kind tone and open face would suddenly demolish his defences? That he would start crying and tell her how hard it was to grow up without stability or love? And then, certainly, he would embrace Lay and umma as his family, and become best friends with Xiumin and Chanyeol? Not likely.

“My next class is  starting soon. I’m leaving now.” He said, standing up and lifting his bag over his shoulder.

She didn’t have a chance to try to stop him or anything else before he walked out the door, heading toward his math class, his book already open in his hand. He jumped slightly, however, when he felt someone touch his arm. He looked up, his expression dangerous as he got ready to go off on whoever was touching him, but he reigned it in quickly when he saw that it was Tao.

“Hmm?” He grunted, waiting for the wide-eyed boy to tell him what he wanted.

“Is this your free period?” He asked softly, and Kris nodded.

“Why?” He asked, and Tao offered him a smile.

“It’s mine, too.” He said. “Maybe we could do the tutoring during this hour, instead of trying to meet after school? I have wushu on weekdays, so sometimes I would be too busy to-”

“Alright. Let’s start Monday, okay?” Kris said, cutting him off. Tao nodded, looking slightly surprised. Kris turned back to his book, about to start walking again when the other spoke up.

“Um, but, I need to know how much you charge.” Tao said. Kris stopped short, then turned to look at the younger in confusion.

“Charge?” He repeated, and Tao nodded.

“For tutoring. I asked Lay, but he said he wasn’t sure.” Tao said. “I can only afford to-”

“I’m not going to charge you.” Kris said. “That’s stupid.”

Tao blinked a few times, looking completely stunned before speaking up. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure. You’re not taking away from my time, so it’s not like I have any reason to demand compensation.” Kris said, his tone flat. Tao grinned again, looking significantly happier than he had all day.

“Thank you!” He said excitedly, offering a short bow before running off down the hall.

Kris watched him go with a slightly amused expression, then shook his head and continued on his way.

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A/N: Update for you all, just because it was ready. :P I need to get my muse to focus on Holding On, now...tsk tsk.