The next month passed in a blur. Kris had taken the time to apologize to Lay, and the sleepovers had continued. Tao’s English was improving by leaps and bounds, and Kris had had the unfortunate experience of walking in on Chen with his head between Lay’s thighs. Tao was slowly backing off, and Kris felt knots in his stomach every time he was near the other, and he was losing track of his ability to keep secrets. He was actively seeking Tao out now that the other had stopped chasing him, and he hated the look in Luhan’s eyes every time he willingly sat beside him. He was starting to actually talk to Umma, telling her about school projects, and how frustrated he was that he couldn’t come up with much to write about in the notebook she had bought him.The only thing that really hadn’t changed was that, without fail, Tao would spend every sleepover curled up in Kris’ bed with him.

It was Lay’s birthday, everyone over for the weekend as usual and an early snowstorm swirling outside. Kris was sitting on the couch, an arm sneakily wrapped around Tao as he read his newest book, when the power cut out. Tao screamed, all but climbing into Kris’ lap, and Kris looked around wide eyed in the sudden blackout. Umma was in the room in a flash, and Baekhyun was fumbling for his backpack.

“I’ve got glow sticks!” Baekhyun said, and a few loud snaps later there was a glowing pile on the floor.

“He’s afraid of the dark.” Kai said, his tone bored as he laid back in Sehun’s lap.

“Shut up.” Baekhyun snapped, finishing up and starting to push them into various peoples hands.

“Tao, are you okay?” Xiumin asked, his voice disembodied in the dark, and Tao sobbed, clinging tighter to Kris.

“I’ve got him.” Kris said softly, but a moment later Tao was gone, following Xiumin’s voice and curling up there. Kris was quiet for a long moment before getting up, heading out of the room and going down the hall to his bedroom, sans glowstick. Umma sighed, reaching for the one still in Baekhyun’s hand.

“I guess I’ve got Kris, then.” She said, and it was quiet as she waited for anyone else to volunteer. She sighed when no one did and headed down the hall, slipping into his room and taking a seat on the bed beside him.

“Hey, Umma.” He said softly, and she smiled, reaching out to pet his hair.

“Hey, baby.” She said softly. “Wanna talk about it?”

“Can’t I just pretend I’m looking for a flashlight?” Kris asked softly, and Umma shook her head.

“No, it’s my duty as a mother to pry and pester you.” Umma said, and Kris closed his eyes.

“I like him.” Kris said, and Umma nodded.

“I know.” She said. “I’m not the one you need to tell. I know your first relationship can be scary, but I know you’ll be okay.”

“I had a boyfriend before.” Kris whispered. Umma stayed quiet, not sure what to say to that. “He moved. To China. He got adopted.”

“Is that why you’re afraid?” She asked softly, and Kris shook his head.

“I’m not afraid.” Kris said. “I just know that this is how things go. Temporary kids shouldn’t form attachments.”

“Well...what if you got citizenship here?” Umma asked.

“Then, worst case scenario, I would move back here when I’m eighteen and still have nowhere to go.” Kris said, pressing his face into the pillow. It always came back to this. The uncertainty of being an adult. It was enough to make him consider suicide some nights.

“Kris...” Umma said softly, sighing. She didn’t know what to do to help him through this. Sure, he was opening up, and he was starting to sort of act like part of the family, but they were a long ways off of making anything official. Kris hadn’t said he wanted it, and she didn’t want to make him feel forced. “What’s going to help you, baby?”

“I don’t know.” Kris whispered. “I just don’t know.”

Umma could swear she could heard Kris breaking, and she scooped him up, hugging him close. Kris sighed, shivering a little as the cool air started to seep in through the windows, and he closed his eyes.

“What if you got a job?” She asked softly, and Kris blinked in confusion, his head tilting on her shoulder.

“A...job?” Kris asked.

“Yeah. What if you got a job, and I put all the money you made into a savings account. Then, when you turn eighteen, you can get an apartment.” Umma said softly, and Kris was quiet for a long moment before nodding.

“If I stay that long.” Kris said, and Umma held back a sigh.

“Yes, Kris, if you stay that long.” She said, and Kris nodded again.

“I can do that.” He said, sounding a little calmer. “I can do that. That could work.”

“I’ll sign off if I need to.” Umma said, smiling. “And maybe you and Tao can...”

“I’m not ready for that yet.” Kris said, shaking his head, and Umma did sigh this time.

“Alright.” She said, petting his hair again. “Alright, baby. Not yet.”

Kris sat with her like that for a little while, his eyes closing as he enjoyed the gentle touch. He nearly jumped out of his skin when the door opened.

“Umma?” Lay whispered, hovering in the doorway.

“I’m in here, baby.” She said, noticing the way Kris was settling back down. Lay came into the room, closing the door behind him and going to sit on the bed with them. “What do you need, hmm?”

“Um...well, Sehun’s hungry.” Lay said, nodding. Umma sighed.

“I’m not surprised. He’s always hungry. I don’t really have much to work with, food-wise right now. But, I’ll see what I can do.” She said, kissing Kris’ head and rubbing his back as he sat up. She got up, stretching and heading out of the room. Kris laid back down on the bed, pulling his blanket over himself and waiting. A moment later, Lay slipped under the covers with him.

“Tao’s just trying to give you space. You don’t make much sense to him.” Lay said, and Kris sighed.

“It’s fine. I don’t need to be coddled.” Kris said, and there was no heat to his tone. Lay nodded, rolling over and wrapping his arms around Kris.

“I know you don’t.” Lay said. “I just don’t want to see you waste an opportunity to be happy. You’re never happy, you know.”

“I know.” Kris groaned, dropping his head on Lay’s shoulder and closing his eyes. “I just can’t right now. I need to get things in order before I can do anything else.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever understand you.” Lay said softly, closing his eyes as well. “Silly ge. You’re over thinking again. The answers are right in front of you.”

“Maybe.” Kris whispered, hugging Lay. “Hopefully I’ll see them before it’s too late.”