“What...what are you doing here?” Kris asked, his tone weak and overwhelmed because he just couldn’t believe they were here. “I thought you had to work. Tao said you were at work..”

Umma smiled softly, pressing a quick kiss to his head as Kris’ biological family tried to figure out how to deal with this sudden curveball. Kris was starting to feel lightheaded, and he knew he needed to get out of there. To calm down. He could feel himself breaking, his barriers and walls playing a dangerous game with his well being because he wanted to keep them out, but he needed YiXing and Umma close. He didn’t realize how fast he was falling apart until a tear slipped down his cheek. He wanted to go home.

“Why don’t you take YiFan to the bathroom?” Umma said softly. “I think we need to have a talk about some things that’ll probably be a little overwhelming right now.”

“Okay, Umma.” Lay said. His expression was more serious than anything Kris had ever seen, but his tone was soft and he was still holding on like a little kid. He was still Lay, even if Kris didn’t really know who he himself was anymore.

Kris nearly tripped over his own giant feet when Lay pulled him out of the chair, and he was reluctant as they left the table. He couldn’t help looking back over his shoulder as they put more and more space between themselves and the inevitable pivot in Kris’ young life. He wanted to be there. He wanted to know everything. But he trusted Umma, and he knew she would make everything okay. Somehow.

Kris didn’t mean to implode the second they were behind the bathroom door, but he only had so much control over his own emotions. He practically collapsed, leaning against the wall as his breath started catching and losing track of Lay in his own hysteria. For all the times he’d been so anxious about too many people, too many emotions, too close, too much, too everything, it was the first time he was afraid Umma would change her mind. He was so broken, so messed up, so much work to fix...she couldn’t possibly want a son that could die at any moment. She couldn’t want a son that was so emotionally fragile. If it was this much on his own heart, he could only imagine what it was like on hers.

“Shh, shh, stop that.” Lay whispered, wiping at Kris’ face and shaking his head. “You’re overthinking it. We’re here to take you home, and that’s what we’re going to do. It’ll be okay, ge.”

“I’m scared.” Kris choked out. He sounded so pathetic, so weak and hopeless, and he wanted to punch himself. He didn’t want to be this way. He wanted to be the strong person he’d been when he met them. He wanted to be sturdy and stable and-

“What are you afraid of, huh?” Lay asked, helping Kris sit on the floor and then taking a seat beside him. “Tell me. I’ll keep you safe from it.”

Kris shook his head, listening to the calm certainty in Lay’s voice. Lay seemed so sure they would make it through this with their family intact. Kris wondered what it was like to live a life where such certainty was allowed.

“Do you think Umma’s just a sweet, quiet woman?” Lay asked. “She’s not, you know. She doesn’t get mad about a lot of things, but she can chew someone up and spit them back out like a bad piece of meat if she wants to. She’s been preparing all week. She’s not going to let you go.”

Kris sniffed, dropping his head on Lay’s shoulder and sighing a little bit. He curled his fingers loosely into Lay’s shirt sleeve as he considered what the other was saying, then nodded slowly. He could feel himself calming down, because of course he could, his brother was better than any therapist he’d ever known. He wiped his eyes one more time, to be safe, before speaking.

“I’m sorry.” Kris said softly. “I shouldn’t have freaked out like that. This is important.”

“You’re important too.” Lay insisted, leaning his head on Kris’. “Don’t you know that you’re important?”

“No.” Kris mumbled, mostly just to be stubborn. Lay laughed and hugged him a little closer.

“What does that mean?” Lay asked. “‘No.’ What about Tao? And Chanyeol? And Baekhyun? All of your friends, and me, and Umma. We’re important to you aren’t we?”

“Of course you are.” Kris said softly, seeing exactly where Lay was going with this. If he was being honest, he felt better already, he was just too stubborn to go back out and deal with reality. Lay was usually just as happy to enable his reclusive ways.

“Then don’t you think you’d be important to us, too?” Lay asked, grinning. Kris sighed, biting the inside of his cheek in an attempt to keep from smiling.

“Maybe.” He allowed.

“I’ll take that over a ‘no.’” Lay said, laughing and pushing himself to his feet. “Come on, you should wash your face before...just wash your face, okay?”

“I don’t really want to go back out there.” Kris said, letting Lay drag him to his feet anyway. “Can’t we just wait for Umma to say it’s time to go? Lu-Ge will come get us eventually.”

“No.” Lay said, pushing Kris over to the sink and hovering while he rubbed his face with cool water. “You missed a spot.”

“What?” Kris asked, slipping into English for a moment. Lay squashed a paper towel into Kris’ face instead of responding. “Menace.”

“Come on, Umma’s waiting for us.” Lay said stubbornly. Kris dried his face and stuffed the paper towel into the trash before shoving his hands into his pockets.

“Did she say when we could go home?” Kris asked, his shoulders slumped and a sad slope taking over his mouth.

“Soon.” Lay said, holding his hand out and waiting in front of the door. Kris was half-afraid someone was going to push it open and hit him with it, and he knew the longer he resisted the higher the chance of that happening really was. He took Lay’s hand and allowed himself to be dragged back out to what he was sure was going to be the exact same situation, or maybe something worse.

He didn't expect Umma to be smiling.

So, I really hate the new upload page here on AFF and if I have to go through this much trouble to format my chapters ever again I may just switch to AO3 permanently. :| Also, Tao isn't in Canada? I don't know where people got that idea, but he's back home with Minseok and Sehun housesitting for Umma.