Kris swallowed hard, having logged into facebook on his new cellphone (that he had tried to convince Umma to take back for nearly an hour over breakfast) and he stared at the message counter as it continued to go up. He was alone, Lay and Luhan had gone to pick up the friends that weren’t being dropped off and Umma was sleeping in preparation for her next overnight shift at the hospital. Kris wished they would give her more normal hours, but she insisted there was a method to the madness. He swallowed again, clicking into the messenger to see what Henry wanted to talk about so badly.

‘FanFan, I finally got on Facebook!’

‘Did you know facebook is blocked in most of mainland China? But we just moved to Hong Kong, I can be on all the time!’

‘I guess you don’t come online very much, huh?’

‘I wish you were here. I miss you so much.’

‘Remember when we used to talk about being famous? I was going to sing and you were going to rap. We were going to call ourselves Unintended! Haha!’

‘FanFan, I miss you.’

‘Please come online so you can tell me that you’re okay.’

‘I know you weren’t really friends with any of the others, but we were friends. We were more than friends. Please answer me.’

‘Please don’t shut me out. I didn’t leave you on purpose.’

‘It’s been months...have you even been online since I left?’

‘I got in touch with Kathy, she said you moved to South Korea! How crazy is that? We used to study Korean together all the time!’

‘Is the new family nice?’

‘Fannie! I see you! You’re online!’

‘How are you? God, I have so much to tell you!’

‘I guess maybe I was seeing things then..I really thought you were online.’

‘I know you’re online this time. I can see you.’

‘Damnit, Kris, answer me! Out of everyone in the world, we promised we’d be here for each other. Where have you been?!’

Kris read through the messages one by one, his stomach twisting anxiously and his heart pounding in his chest. He looked around, checking to be sure no one was home yet, before carefully tapping out a reply.

‘I just got a phone. I haven’t been online since you left. The new family is great.’ Kris read it over twice before going back and changing great to fine, then hesitating and finally changing it back before sending it.

‘Great? In what way?’ Henry sent back. Kris let his head fall back and hit the couch, a groan escaping his lips. He looked up when his phone binged at him, indicating another message. ‘I talked to the mom last night, you know. She seems really nice.’

‘That’s what I mean. They’re really nice.’ Kris sent back, feeling a little more sick now. Henry was never supposed to pop back up in his life, much less to talk to Umma. That was a lot of blurred lines, a whole lot of too much. He got three more messages before he realized he was having a panic attack in the middle of the living room. He jumped about a foot in the air when Umma pulled the phone out of his hands, and he looked up at her, his chest rising and falling much faster than it should have been as she looked over the messages and replied quickly, then put the phone down.

“I told him you’d talk to him later.” She whispered, sitting down and pulling Kris into a tight hug. “God, you’re in pieces..”

Kris had no idea what she was talking about. He just felt sick and stressed out and like his head might explode. Umma rubbed his back gently, waiting for him to settle down enough to speak, and it wasn’t the same as it was with Lay, but it wasn’t bad.

“My eyes hurt.” Kris mumbled, and Umma glanced at his face for moment before hugging him again.

“What do you mean? Pressure behind them?” She asked. Honestly, she’d thought for a moment he might be crying, but she knew better. Kris never cried.

“Headache.” He mumbled, and she nodded to herself.

“Might not hurt so bad if you would breath a little slower.” She suggested softly, and Kris swallowed before focusing on his breathing, slowing it down until the headache was gone and he was left feeling lightheaded.

“Umma..” Kris mumbled, and she shook her head.

“I called your psychiatrist.” She said softly. “The one you used to see in Vancouver.”

“The school therapist has copies of all of my records. You could have asked her.” Kris said, looking confused as he blinked up at her. His expression was weird, not something she recognized. She wasn’t sure what to call it.

“I do, too.” Umma said carefully. “I read your file before you moved here.”

“Then you’re definitely crazy.” Kris said suddenly, laughing. “If you read all of that, why would you want to let me in your country, let alone your house?”

Umma couldn’t help but laugh as well, shaking her head and kissing Kris’ temple. “I wanted to help. That’s all, baby.”

“So, what did he tell you?” Kris asked, feeling a little better now. He wasn’t on the verge of passing out anymore, at least.

“That therapy would be a waste of time for you, since you hate talking to people.” She said, digging her fingers lightly into Kris ribs and looking honestly surprised when Kris all but leapt away from her fingers, looking kind of terrified.

“What was that?!” He asked, breathing hard and pressing his hand over the spot. She laughed and moved closer, tickling him again and watching him squirm and try not to laugh as he shook his head, his expression confused and mildly alarmed.

“You can’t honestly tell me you’ve never been tickled.” She said a minute later, when she finally stopped. “Your brother is the most ticklish person on the planet. Try it sometime. It’s funny.”

“Okay?” Kris said, still smiling a bit. Umma chuckled, opening her arms again and letting Kris settle into them.

“Anyway, your psychiatrist said therapy doesn’t work on those who aren’t comfortable with speaking.” She said, looking at Kris with a soft expression. Kris shrugged a bit, not sure what to say, and Umma raised a brow as if to prove her point. “I wasn’t...sure what to make of the fight at school, or the panic attack. He said he didn’t know either, so I don’t think he knew you very well at all. Not like Umma and Lay, anyway.”

“Is that why you decided to talk to Henry?” Kris asked, frowning a bit. Umma nodded.

“I didn’t realize he was your ex until after we started talking.” She said, and Kris groaned. “Honestly, I just figured he was a friend.”

“He was. My best friend. My only friend, honestly.” Kris said, shrugging a bit. “We got put in a home together in Vancouver when we were thirteen. He spoke Mandarin, and I was just relieved to have someone to talk to. We learned Korean together.”

“I see.” Umma said softly, nodding. “Then maybe it’s better if you don’t shut him out? At least not completely, hmm?”

“I don’t have panic attacks on purpose, you know.” Kris mumbled, and Umma was quiet for a moment, looking at Kris like she was really taking him in for the first time. Then she laughed softly.

“I know.” She said. “Baby steps. Have fun with your friends, okay? I have to go get ready for work. Long shift tonight, I’ll be home in the morning.”

Kris frowned, but nodded anyway. “Make sure you eat tonight, okay?” He said, and she smiled, handing him his phone as the door opened.

“I promise.” She said, heading back to her bedroom as Chanyeol came barreling in, jumping on the couch beside Kris and hugging him tightly, causing Kris’ eyes to go round.

“What are you-”

“C’mon, man I haven’t seen you in ages.” Chanyeol said, pushing himself into Kris’ personal space as Baekhyun plopped down on his other side, stretching out over Kris’ lap and looking up at him. Kris awkwardly patted Chanyeol’s back.

“I’m sorry?” Kris said, not sure what the correct response was to this situation. Baekhyun rolled his eyes and swatted Kris’ chest, but it was barely a tap.

“You’re an idiot.” Baekhyun said, and Kris frowned before pushing Baekhyun lightly. “It’s a tall person thing, I swear. The taller you are, the less your brain works.”

“Hey!” Chanyeol whined, and Kris laughed, covering his mouth with one hand.

“You guys are too much for me.” Kris said, nodding. “I should be running away right now.”

“Say cheese!” Luhan said from seemingly nowhere. Baekhyun sat up as Kris leaned forward, an arm going around both of his friends and a smirk coming to his face. He hated looking bad in photos, but he jumped when Chanyeol’s hand came down in his head a moment later.

“Even if you leave, we’ll always find you.” Chanyeol said.

This is supposed to be a feel good chapter. So feel good, darnit!