I was about to step out when someone grabbed by my wrist and then hugged me.

“That was close.” It’s Keito-kun’s voice.

“Let me go!” I said as I punch his hand weakly.

“Koharu-chan..” he said.

“Let me go..please..” I said again as I struggle with tears.

“I want to be…with him..please let me go..”

I fell on my knees..

“Let me go..I’m tired of all this pain..”

“I can’t live without him…”

“I don’t know what to do without him…”

“I want to be with him..”

“I want to die…”

“Koharu-chan…” he said again as he hug me tightly.

“Don’t give up.” He said.

We stayed like that for a few minutes.

“I.. I just don’t know, of all people…why does it have to happen to us??…” I said between my sobs.

“Ichi-kun…” I said.

“Just let it all out..” he comforted.






_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

All of us attended his burial.

But I stayed up until I am the only one left.

Akira-chan tried to tell me to go home already but I didn’t.

I just want to cry. Cry until my eyes are worn out.

I’m currently crying at that time when a paper fell from above.

Pyon-pyon,

You are the only one who can read what’s written on this paper.

Others would see this as blank paper.

I begged Him to let me have a chance to tell you all the things I wasn’t able to tell you when I was alive.

First of all, I’m very sorry. Sorry for not telling you that I was in that condition.

I planned not to tell you until I die to reduce the pain you’ll feel but I failed. Gomenasai.

I want you to know that I want you to continue living.

It’s okay for me if you look for another guy. In fact, it would be better.

Be happy.

I love you and I want all the best for you.

I’m comfortable here. I don’t feel any pain. The feeling here is so light.

 It’s like problems don’t exist here. Just love.

So always remember that I’m always here. I’m guiding you, looking at you, taking care of you.

I have loved you with all my heart and I still do.

So please, continue living and be happy.

Find your happiness.

Yabu

As I was reading the letter, my tears fell on the paper.

Yabu-kun. I know you’re here.

I know he’s watching me.

Right now, I don’t know what to do.

I’m just standing here in front of his grave.

I can’t move.

I just want to stay here.

Forever.

The rain is starting to fall.

I’m still holding the paper.

As the raindrops fall on the paper, it formed into dust and disappeared.

I tried to reach for it but it’s gone.

And tears continued to flow again.

The rain.

Then suddenly the rain stopped...

No.. No the rain hasn't stopped..Someone is just sharing his umbrella with me..

It's....

It's Yabu-san...

I miss him already

The rain reminds me of him.

I don’t mind being wet.

I just want to be with him.

If being in the rain means being with him, then I’ll live in the rain forever.

The moments started to get familiar.

It’s raining but I don’t feel the raindrops anymore.

And there’s someone behind me.

He’s sharing his umbrella with me.

I turned and I saw a complete resemblance of Yabu-kun.

“Yabu…”I said.

“Uhmm.. I know you’re still in the midst of mourning but..the rain is pouring heavily. You might want to move somewhere else.” He said

without looking at me.

The rain got stronger.

He really looks like Yabu-kun.

But he’s not Yabu-kun.

“You don’t talk to strangers? I’m Jin. And you are?” he asked then his eyes met mine.

It made me feel that Yabu-kun is back.

“Koharu..Kumiko Koharu desu.” I said.

“So I guess we’re not strangers now?” He asked.

He really looks like Yabu-kun.

I just stared at him for a while.

Then I nodded.

“Can we move somewhere else now?” he asked shielding me from the rain with the jacket he has.

I nodded.

He put his hand on my shoulder while we are sharing his umbrella.

I had this feeling that Yabu-kun is standing on his grave, smiling, as we go.

So I looked back and I don’t know if it’s a glimpse of him. But he immediately disappeared.

“Doue?” Jin-san said.

“Nandemonai…..”I said.

“ Iku yo?" He asked.

I nodded again.

This feeling of being secured.

I only felt this with Yabu-kun.

His smile, it reminds me of Yabu-kun.

And his touch, it reminds me of Yabu-kun.

Did you yourself send him to me Yabu-kun?

I have this feeling in me that he answered yes.

A smile formed in my lips.

And I happily joined this stranger in running through the rain.