Koharu's POV

I feel uneasy.

They’re on the 3^rd row now.

I’m on the seventh row.

I’m uncomfortable. Really uncomfortable.

No, I won’t abandon this graduation for his sake.

I won’t.

I won’t.

I won’t.

WHO ARE YOU FOOLING KOHARU?!!!!

The moment I heard his name, I really got interested on their conversation.

I’ve been lying to myself all this time.

And when I heard that he has brain tumor, I felt my heart broke.

I really want to see him.

I miss him so bad.

WHY THE HECK DID YOU MAKE ME FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU YABU-KUN!!!!!!

I still love you.

I just can’t deny the fact that you left me. But despite all of that, I can’t fight this feeling.

I love you. I really do.

You might have given up on us already, but I won’t.

30 minutes to go till the operation.

5^th row.

A few more names and I’m going to be called already.

I’m going to swallow my pride now.

I’m going to take back all the things I showed them a while ago.

That I don’t care. That I hate him.

Because now, I’m going to see him.

Because I care. Because I love him.

“Akira-chan.” I said to Akira-chan.

“Hai?” she asked.

“You guys have a lot of things to explain to me when I come back.” I said to her.

“When you come ba—Where are you going?!!!!” She asked when I ran.

I stopped at the door and turned to her.

“To Yabu-kun.” I replied with a smile.

I saw her face form in a smile.

Then I continued.

I ran as fast as I could.

I don’t care about the graduation. All I ever care about now is him.

Him surviving and him alive.

I know where to go. I remembered the day when I brought an old woman to a hospital when I conducted a

survey. So that’s really him.

The guy on the wheelchair.

He’s pale and thin because of the tumor.

But why did they hide this from me?!

I felt my phone ring.

From Akira-chan.

We’re going to follow. After the graduation.

I guess I’m going to have all the answer I want when we all meet in the hospital.

25 minutes.

I ride the bus going to Okinawa.

The hospital is 20 minutes from here.

20 minutes seemed like a century.

I tap my foot. Stand, and then sit again. Repeatedly.

Be strong Yabu-kun.

You left me once and I won’t let you leave me again.

You have to survive. You have to live.

After the longest 20 minutes of my life, I went out of the bus and ran inside the hospital.

I went to the front desk.

“Yabu Kota. Where is his room?” I said while running out of breath.

“146 ma’am.” The nurse answered.

“Arigatou.” I replied.

Then ran.

146.146.146.

138.

140.

142.

I stopped at my feet when I saw nurses getting him out of his room.

I arrived at the right time.

He looked thinner and paler now.

I ran to him with tears in my eyes.

“Yabu-kun!!” I shouted with my shaking voice.

I immediately hugged him.

“Koharu-chan, what are you doing here?” he asked.

 “It’s your graduation right?” he added.

“We need to transfer him to the Operating room Ma’am. So please,” The nurses said as they pull me away

from him.

“No! Wait! Stop!” I said as I struggle.

“5 minutes! Please!! I’m begging you!!Just 5 minutes.” I shouted as I cry.

They slowly let me go and I immediately ran to Yabu-kun.

I held his hand.

“I missed you a lot.” I said while tears are continuously falling from my eyes.

“I missed you too.” He said as he wipe a tear on my cheek.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for letting you go through all this pain alone. I’m sorry. But you have to be strong. You

have to go through this. You have to live. You have to.” I said and bursted into tears again.

“I know. I have to. Because I have you.” He said.

“Don’t think of anything else, just focus on.. surviving.” I said.

“I’m always here. I’ll always be here beside you. I know you’re strong. I know you can beat this tumor.” I added.

“I’m sorry.” He said sadly.

“No. Don’t be sorry. If you’re worrying about that, I forgive you. Just please..survive.” I said to him.

“Please…” I said.

Nothing else matters.

I just want to see him…alive.

“I will. Don’t worry.” He said.

He held my hand tightly and I returned it.

“And thank you. Thank you for existing.” He said.

The nurses started to move him to the OR.

 I watch him go.

All the pain when he broke up with me went back.

But now, a lot more painful. Because there’s a possibility that he may never come back.

How could he thank someone as useless as me?

If I could only fight that tumor together with him.

If I could only take that tumor away from him.

If I could only live with him forever.

I kneel in the middle of the corridor of the hospital.

Crying so hard as I imagine to reach his hand.

This pain in my heart. It hurts a lot.

But I know that this is nothing compared to the pain he’s feeling.

All these years, he’s been keeping the pain all by himself.

I stood up and ran to the OR. I still saw him.

I mouthed I love you to him while crying.

He replied I love you too.

And then they closed the curtains.

Again, I fell on my knees in front of the OR.

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