Chapter 34: A New Episode

Luhan became Sehun's personal attendant when he was fourteen.

At that time, Sehun was a shy kid of little words, barely ten. Though Luhan was ordered to stay by his side twenty-four hours a day, they didn't grow close quickly. Sehun never spoke, but Luhan would often catch him staring at him with questioning eyes. Every time their gaze met, however, Sehun would drop his eyes, a light flush running over his features. It was cute, Luhan remembered thinking.

The first time Sehun ever initiated any interaction was a day late in the first autumn they spent together. Luhan took Sehun for a walk in the garden, and he stopped in front of a withering tree and stared at the red leaves for a very long time.

"Prince Sehun," Luhan said when the wind became chilly. "It's time to go inside."

Sehun glanced at Luhan and nodded. He reached up to pluck off one of the leaves, a bright red one barely hanging on to the boughs, and handed it to Luhan. Luhan took it hesitantly, looking into Sehun's earnest eyes.

"It's a present," Sehun said quietly.

A wave of feelings swept over Luhan--astonishment, awe, gratitude. For a moment there, he was at a loss of words, still unsure of how to respond to Sehun's apathetic face. But then, he saw a flicker of nervousness, of uncertainty in Sehun's eyes, and realized that the indifferent expression was nothing more than a facade, a defense mechanism to protect Sehun from the horrors of the Palace.

Luhan reached out and lightly ruffled Sehun's hair. He wasn't afraid of being reprimanded, of breaching the gap between a servant and his prince. He smiled.

"Thank you."

Over time, Luhan learned many things about Sehun. He was frightened of thunder and often snuck into Luhan's room, cuddling up against him no matter how many times Luhan scolded him.

"Prince Sehun, you must stay in your chambers. It's dangerous running around alone at night," Luhan would always say as he wrapped his spare blanket around Sehun.

"But I'm scared," Sehun would reply, wriggling free of the blankets and plastering himself to Luhan's side.

Somehow, Luhan would find himself acceding to Sehun's every whim. The bright smiles Sehun would offer him more and more frequently were enough to make up for the trouble he caused. Soon, Luhan noticed that Sehun was extremely attached to him--no longer the quiet, reticent boy, but a mischievous, cheerful kid. The transformation was shocking not only to Luhan, but also to Sehun's parents. The Emperor and Empress both took a liking towards Luhan, especially after realizing that he was the sole force in helping their son break out of his shell.

But as Sehun grew older and more outgoing, Luhan began to recede more and more. He was always the pragmatic one, only occasionally toeing the line separating the two of them. There would be times where he'd let down his guard, forget that he was the servant and Sehun his master, and drop all honorifics and formality, but these instances grew increasingly rare as he matured.

Over the years, he realized that there wasn't just a creek separating him from the aristocracy, but an entire ocean. Sehun and him lived at different ends of the Earth, their lives crossing only from sheer luck. He could see the way their paths would deviate in the future--the fork in the road was inevitable, and it was only a matter of time. It didn't take long for Luhan to notice that he was growing attached as well, and that parting was going to hurt.

It was impossible to physically distance himself from Sehun. He remained his personal attendant, even as Sehun entered his teens. Emotional distance was also a burden, for Sehun needed a mentor to guide him through the years. Instead, Luhan closed off part of his heart and assumed the hyung-position, watching over Sehun as he slowly grew up.

He was well aware of Sehun's fondness for him, especially in the recent years as Sehun realized his own feelings. Every half-confession Sehun gave him would be another stab at his heart, another seal tearing away. Luhan tried to keep to himself as much as possible, to not let his own feelings bleed through the pretense he'd tried so hard to create.

Luhan repeatedly sent Sehun away with cold, harsh words, hoping Sehun would finally give up and leave him alone in his own misery. When Sehun left for America, Luhan thought he'd achieved his goal. He thought he'd feel some sort of relief, but instead, he felt a heavy stone settle in his chest, refusing to budge. Months passed in quiet agony only he himself knew, and when Sehun returned, the boulder grew even heavier.

He felt like a cast-away, with the way Sehun ignored and avoided him. He knew it was to be expected, for Sehun couldn't rely on him forever, but the pain was fresh and bitter.

When he saw Sehun standing outside his room that night, he was horrified to find that his heart was b with hope--hope that Sehun had not forgotten about him, dismissed him. The hope suddenly turned into fear and concern when he saw the tears in Sehun's eyes, and watched Sehun's disappearing backside as he fled down the hall and away from Luhan.

Luhan found him in the Palace Garden, sitting next to a tree. The leaves were turning red, clinging feebly to the branches. He looked like the shy, little boy once more--defensive and afraid of the world. A warm feeling spread throughout Luhan--this was something even more inevitable than their parting.

For the first time, Luhan shed his armor. He ripped off his mask and tossed away all those years of effort--of trying to be Sehun's reliable friend and nothing else. He breached the distance between them and held out his arms. Sehun had long accepted him, and now it was his turn.

"I missed you."

The words rang clear and true, and finally, the burden lifted and dissipated with the chilled evening breeze.

__________________________

A/N: I was going to combine ch 33 and 34 into one, but there was such a sense of finality in each that I separated them. Also, this was not the original story. I wrote half of it, but the file was in my flashdrive and I.....lost my flashdrive /cries hysterically.

Once again, sorry for the late update. Forever trying to figure my life out, lol. Talk to me on Tumblr!