Chapter 27: Break Down

Their relationship returned back to normal, or at least as normal as it could.

Both Chanyeol and Baekhyun met up with their friends again, hanging out in the palace garden or riding in the fields stretching far beyond the Palace boundaries. Sometimes, it's almost as if nothing had happened--as if time had simply reversed itself and everyone was just friends again. More often than not, Chanyeol's arm found itself around Baekhyun's shoulder, and Baekhyun would shoot him a half-exasperated and half-amused look. Baekhyun let Chanyeol place his arm there, mainly because the weight was familiar and comforting, and if he were honest to himself, he missed it quite a lot.

But, Chanyeol would withdraw his arm two seconds too soon, and suddenly, the world would be thrown back into pitch black again. It was almost as if there was an invisible barrier between the two, something no one--not even they--could see, but there nonetheless. Sometimes, Baekhyun almost felt as if it was a physical thing, like a glass dome surrounding him whenever Chanyeol was near.

Stepping too close to Chanyeol would hurt. The two of them would fall back into familiar routines, boisterous laughters and smacks on the back, but all of a sudden, they would be torn out of their reinvented memories and back into the cruel present. Then, Baekhyun would feel as if all the oxygen had been out by Chanyeol's very presence, and air alone was suffocating him until he was on the verge of collapsing.

The worst part of it, though, was that he could tell no one. His smile was ever-present, hanging on his face like a tacky neon sign screaming for attention. He had to assert his own happiness, broadcast it to the world, because it was the only way anyone would believe in his masked lies and weak smiles. Even when he felt as if the entire universe was collapsing on him, he kept a strong pretense--head held high and lips upturned into a smile.

Kyungsoo watched worriedly from the sidelines, though Baekhyun brushed off his voiced concerns every time. Besides, Baekhyun saw the way Jongin clung onto Kyungsoo's arm, and he would much rather his best friend seek his own happiness, than worry for his.

Baekhyun wasn't made out of steel, however, and when the doors were closed and the blinds shut, he would shed all of his armor and drop onto his bed like a ragged doll, just breathing in the scent of clean laundry. Then, he would bury himself in his blankets and mope for the rest of the day, because it was the best thing to do.

Weeks and months passed like that. Every day when he woke up, he felt as if he was getting ready for a long three-act play, and Act I, Act II, and Act III all required him to excessively smile and be someone already too unfamiliar.

Someone once told him that time healed old wounds, but time passed, and his scars did not fade. The clock ticked by, and he ripped calendar pages with each passing month, but the dull aching in his heart was persistent. He thought he'd get used to it, get used to the feeling of drowning in his own skin, but he never did.

Every time he saw Chanyeol, it was another punch in the gut, another stab in the heart. Habitual conditioning didn't work for heartbreaks, and Baekhyun was forced to suffer through every step and stone of the way.

Although his heart did not change, the world around him did. One of the most monumental events of that generation happened ten months after the great Chanyeol vs. Baekhyun fiasco. The Emperor retired, stepping down from his throne and declaring that half a century of sitting at the apex of the country was wearing him out. He wished to spend the rest of his years with his family--his wife and children.

Chanyeol, of course, succeeded the throne. He was a natural ruler and wore the crown as if it was made for him. His cheeky, hyper self was placed behind the scenes as his calm, collected exterior took its place. He was a trustworthy Emperor, one who placed the country before him, one who was steady and confident about all his decisions.

Though, of course, no one was perfect. Baekhyun was part of his court, as Praetor, and he often saw Chanyeol glance his way, out of a desperate need for confirmation and reassurance. He'd offer a small smile and a near imperceptible nod, and Chanyeol would immediately relax in his throne.

Baekhyun was content with the role he played in Chanyeol's life--his best friend and advisor. Their relationship mended over the years. From what was initially awkward hugs and stilted conversations, they gradually built up their friendship again. It wasn't perfect--there were still holes and scratches--but it was a long way from what it was.

Two more years passed, and Baekhyun suddenly received news of his father's passing. He requested a leave of absence and returned back to his hometown to hold together his little, broken family. He stayed there for longer than he expected, and half a year later, he began contemplating a resignation and seeking a job as a common fisherman, or perhaps teacher, in his tiny village.

His wealth had accumulated over the years, and it was easy for him to settle once more in his hometown. The time he spent away from Chanyeol and the Royal Palace had became a sort of healing mechanism. It was almost as if someone had bandaged his heart, and even though he knew the wounds would never heal, they weren't going to get worse either.

Some days, when he woke up in the morning and the sun was barely out, in the midst of pulling himself away from dreamland and into reality, Baekhyun'd forget whether or not Chanyeol really existed, and if everything was just a tragic love story from an old fairytale.

Baekhyun's sister and mother both welcomed him home with open arms. They seemed to enjoy his company--they'd miss him during the years he'd been away. Without his father to reassure him that everything was alright, his mother and sister suddenly seemed very vulnerable to the world. It made parting with them a harder thing to do.

Eventually, he'd drafted his resignation letter. It was addressed to Chanyeol, and it was hard making it sound detached and formal. He hesitated in sending it, because even though he loved his family's company, he couldn't deny that he still loved Chanyeol as well.

It was a tough decision to make, but little did he know, he'd never have to.

One day, somewhere into the seventh month of his leave, his sister ran into his room mid-morning to announce that he had a visitor. Her eyes were shining and bright, and Baekhyun wondered if it might be Kyungsoo or perhaps Jongin. Another name lingered somewhere in the back of his mind, but he brandished it off as folly.

Once he stepped out of his room, however, he saw Park Chanyeol sitting on the couch next to his mother, laughing at something she had said.

Baekhyun rubbed his eyes once, then twice, then three times, to make sure he wasn't seeing things. When Chanyeol finally realized he was there, he stood up and cocked his head to the side.

"Hey," he said with a grin.

Baekhyun's eyes widened, because this person was undeniably Chanyeol, and he had no idea how to act around him after six months of not seeing him. There were butterflies in his stomach and his heart was beating so fast he thought it was going to jump out of his throat. In fact, he had a vague urge of vomiting.

"Hi," he squeaked, face flushing when he heard his own voice.

Chanyeol merely laughed and crossed the room in long strides, fingers wrapping neatly around Baekhyun's wrist like they belonged there. In a way, they probably did.

"Mrs. Byun, may I borrow Baekhyun for a while?"

His mother smiled and nodded, and without a pause, Chanyeol tugged Baekhyun out of the house.

They walked for a couple of blocks with Chanyeol commenting idly on the street vendors and the fresh, ocean air. Baekhyun was mostly still in shock and silent. After about ten minutes of aimless wandering, however, he seemed to gather his wits and turned to Chanyeol.

"What are you doing here?" He finally asked.

Chanyeol frowned. "Why do you sound so unwelcoming?" He asked in a mock-hurt voice.

Baekhyun couldn't believe that he was still joking around. "I'm being serious here. Did you seriously just leave your duties to come here?"

Chanyeol's face turned serious and he looked at Baekhyun. "What if I did? What if," he paused for a second, silently gauging Baekhyun's reaction. "What if I told you that I'd left the Palace for good?"

Baekhyun stared at Chanyeol, letting the words sink into his brain slowly. His eyes widened when he finally grasped the meaning of what Chanyeol had said, and he staggered back. He shook his head slowly, mouth opening and closing like a goldfish as he tried to find something to say.

"Please tell me you didn't," he said weakly, knees about to buckle under his own weight.

Chanyeol was silent for a moment. "I didn't," he said finally. "Don't worry."

Baekhyun visibly breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed his body.

"Were you that worry I did?" Chanyeol asked. "Why are you so insistent on me being the Crown Prince?"

"I'm not," Baekhyun said honestly. "I just--I might sound a bit presumptuous right now, but I just don't want you to ever give up anything for me."

His voice trailed off a little in the end as he looked down at the ground and shuffled his feet, suddenly feeling shy.

"I wouldn't give up the throne," Chanyeol said, lifting Baekhyun's chin so he could look into his eyes. "Not because I value it more than you, but because I know you'd be disappointed in me. And that's probably worse than anything else in the world." Then, he smiled. "Except maybe Sehun when the weather is hot."

Baekhyun couldn't help but laugh. Tension eased between the two despite their bringing up the subject that had been taboo over the years.

"Your sister said you were going to resign," Chanyeol continued, when they began walking again. "Why?"

Baekhyun shrugged. "My mother and sister need me," he said simply.

Chanyeol slipped his hand into Baekhyun's and squeezed it, ignoring Baekhyun's flinch.

"Is there anything I can do to help? Preferably so you don't have to resign?"

Chanyeol's voice was light and joking, but Baekhyun knew he was serious. So, he gave him the most honest answer he could think of.

"Dunno."

"What if I sent a monthly pension to your family, so they'd never have to worry about money? I could also have some guards watching over them. The mayor of this city would be most happy to cooperate," Chanyeol offered.

Baekhyun quickly shook his head. "That's too much to ask for," he said, laughing. He tried to tug his hand out of Chanyeol's grasp.

Chanyeol pulled him back. "No, it isn't."

"Yes, it is."

"God damn it, Byun Baekhyun, you won't let me give up the damned throne for you, so why don't you let me do this little thing for you so I can keep you by my side?"

Baekhyun kept quiet. Chanyeol looked away.

"Is that it?" Baekhyun asked softly. "Is that why you're here?"

"All I've ever wanted," Chanyeol said, "was to have you by my side. But Jesus Christ, you make it hard."

Baekhyun decided he still had no idea what to say, so he kept silent and headed back towards his house. Chanyeol allowed him that peace of mind and walked quietly by his side. They dropped the subject for the rest of Chanyeol's visit. Instead, Baekhyun brought Chanyeol all around the town at his mother's request. Daytimes were spent with Chanyeol dragging him to all the historical monuments, and evenings were spent around the dinner table, laughing comfortably. Chanyeol, true to his nature, became great friends with Baekhyun's sister, Soojung, and charmed Baekhyun's mother into adopting him as a second son.

All the while, Baekhyun sat at the sidelines and watched Chanyeol interacting with his family, toying with all the beautiful what-ifs.

Two days before Chanyeol's departure, Baekhyun made up his mind. He knocked on Chanyeol's room--Chanyeol refused to live at the mayor's residence and instead invaded Baekhyun's guest room--with his resignation letter in hand. The door swung open to reveal a slightly dazed Chanyeol, and it was obviously that he had been getting ready to sleep. After all, it was late.

Baekhyun held out the envelope. "This is my resignation letter."

Chanyeol's eyes widened. "Bu-"

"Shut up and let me talk," Baekhyun huffed. "I'm giving it to you right now, and you can do whatever you want with it."

Chanyeol gingerly took it. He played with the flap for a couple of seconds before looking up at Baekhyun. "Whatever I want? You won't get angry?"

Baekhyun shook his head.

"Well, in that case," Chanyeol muttered. He tore the letter in half with one swift movement, and then again in fourths. He ripped it into tiny pieces before tossing it all into the wastebasket near the door. "Pack your bags; you're coming back with me to the Capital."

When Baekhyun settled back into his bed, he felt that he should've been angry. He had spent time on that letter, and he had been almost ninety-percent sure that he was going to resign--until Chanyeol appeared. As usual, Chanyeol tipped his world off balance, and as soon as he saw Chanyeol sitting in his living room, he should've known that there was no point in resisting. 

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A/N: Hello everyone! I wanted to leave you guys with something before I disappear off the face of the Earth, since school is starting next week ;A; Here's a light, short chapter to alleviate the angst from the previous chapter, hahaha. I finished writing this 3:30 in the morning, so it might sound a bit like me rambling (which is basically what it is).

As usual, you can find me at my Tumblr or my LiveJournal where I disgrace myself and write .

Anyways, hope everyone had a great holiday, and wish you all the best in 2014! :)