Chapter 26: A Silver Lining

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The doors to the reception hall burst open, and Baekhyun could hear the royal orchestra playing one of Vivaldi’s concertos. People began to file out the door, leaving noisily table by table. There were aristocrats, celebrities, even peasants, and Baekhyun could recognize only a few of them.

There were many times where Baekhyun would feel as if the distance between Chanyeol and him could not be breached, and this was one of them. As he idly scanned the mundane faces of people cloaked in finery and silk—or perhaps soft cotton—he realized that he was only a tiny part in Chanyeol’s life, a small facet amongst the millions that created a beautiful, brilliant diamond.

People came over to talk to Jongin, Sehun, and Jieun, calling themselves Chanyeol’s childhood friends, and Baekhyun could only stare at them, wondering just how much he did not know about Chanyeol. Jongin handled the conversation smoothly, while Sehun and Jieun opted to smile and look pretty, obviously uncomfortable with so many people swarming about them. Luhan had disappeared into the edges of the crowd, keeping his distance from the Royal famly.

“I hate this kind of public thing,” Sehun muttered somewhere to Baekhyun’s right.

“Shouldn’t you be used to this?” Baekhyun hissed back, nearly falling into Kyungsoo when someone jostled him. “Being a prince and all.”

Sehun scoffed. “No, that’s Chanyeol-hyung’s job. We rarely go through all this crap—well, maybe sometimes Jongin—but Jieun and I? Nearly never. Thank heavens for that.”

Baekhyun fell silent as he remembered the controlled, stiff look on Chanyeol’s face whenever he attended public events—it had always scared him. Whenever Baekhyun himself had to attend such an event, he never expected Chanyeol to talk to him because he knew that Chanyeol was busy and important. But, he could never keep his eyes off Chanyeol, always marveling over how he could become such a different person. There would always be a little flame of fear flickering somewhere in his chest when he sees Chanyeol standing next to his father, back straight and gaze fixed deadly upon a point somewhere in front of him, and it would grow larger and larger until Chanyeol finds him somewhere in the crowd and meets his eyes. Then, Chanyeol’s face would soften, and there would be a familiar twinkle in his eyes as he quirks the right side (it was always the right side, Baekhyun had noticed) of his lips up.

The moments of familiarity in the grand scheme of unfamiliarity was probably what led Baekhyun believe that he knew Chanyeol.

Now, though, he finally realized no, he had been wrong for the last decade. He did not know Chanyeol, and thus, he had no right to even want Chanyeol to be his.

It should’ve been painful, maybe something like knives stabbing him in the chest right where his heart was, but instead, it was just a heavy feeling—a large boulder. It was almost as if it had been there all along, hidden from view by a glittering cloak woven by Chanyeol’s smiles and Chanyeol’s voice and Chanyeol’s overwhelming presence, until someone or something had finally ripped it off and shoved it in Baekhyun’s face, telling him to look, LOOK, stop being so presumptuous, stop thinking you’re so important, stop being so foolish.

So foolishly in love.

It hurt, but it was mostly just tiring.

Sehun and the others were soon separated from Baekhyun as they marched into the church. They sat at the front, being Chanyeol’s relatives and all, and Baekhyun and Kyungsoo slipped into a pew a few rows back. Baekhyun saw Luhan enter through the doors and make his way over to them from the side. He smiled at Baekhyun and Kyungsoo, before moving to stand next to Sehun.

Sehun’s eyes widened when he saw Luhan, and he reached for him, but Jongin quickly nudged him and shook his head.

No. Not when it’s so public.

The aristocracy and conformity and all the jazz.

Baekhyun could almost see the frown on Sehun’s face, but he knew he wouldn’t argue. Not when the Emperor and Empress were sitting just an aisle away. He let his arm drop, obviously disgruntled, and shot Luhan an apologetic look.

Luhan smiled.

Baekhyun watched as Sehun slid to the edge of the pew, sitting as close as he could to Luhan without falling off his seat. Luhan frowned and motioned for him to sit normally. When Sehun stuck out his tongue, Luhan merely raised an eyebrow.

Really. You’re really going to be like this right now?

Yes.

Why?

Because.

Baekhyun rolled his eyes at their childish, silent conversation and looked at Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo shrugged in reply, and Baekhyun stood up, walking over to Luhan and grabbing his wrist. He dragged him over to his bench, almost laughing at Luhan’s surprised, almost affronted expression. He slid into his seat, pulling Luhan behind him.

“Praetor Baekhyun, what are you doing!” He shrieked quietly once he realized where he was and stood up immediately.

Baekhyun only scoffed and pulled him back down.

“You can sit next to me. It doesn’t matter—I’m only a Praetor.”

“But—”

“Chill, would you? No one’s going to mind. And besides,” Baekhyun paused, swallowing thickly. “Besides. I want you here.”

Luhan hesitated for a moment, eyes scanning Baekhyun’s face quickly as he stared down at his lap. Finally, he relaxed and leaned back, nodding.

“Okay.”

Sehun twisted around and craned his neck to look for them. When he spotted them, he grinned and waved frantically. Luhan groaned quietly and shoved his face in his hands, muttering “Dear Lord, help me” under his breath. Jongin turned around as well, flashing him a thumbs up and waving off Jieun, who was trying to show Jongin something on her phone.

“Probably something to do with the male anatomy,” Kyungsoo whispered, nodding at Jieun and Jongin.

“What?” Baekhyun blinked, wondering if he had heard wrong.

“You know. Male anatomy. es. Biology.”

“Uh.”

“Don’t ask.”

“Uh.”

“…It’s a good thing that she’s so science oriented, I mean, look at all the things she’s learning!”

“Uh.”

“Stop.”

“I’m judging you right now. Can you feel it? Luhan, come and judge Kyungsoo with me.”

Luhan groaned again, not surfacing from his muttered prayers. “Sweet heavens, why does everyone have the mindset of a three year old.”

Baekhyun finally settled back into his seat when Kyungsoo steadfastly ignored him, staring straight ahead. He glanced around instead, trying to name all the people he knew.

Tao and Kris were sitting together across the aisle from him, much to his surprised. He didn’t think they got along. As if on cue, Tao scowled and mimed punching Kris in the face, and Baekhyun grinned to himself.

Some things never change.

He glanced at the front of the hall, seeing the Emperor and Empress deeply engaged in conversation with two other people, both draped in beautiful satin garments. Baekhyun guessed that they must be the parents of Princess Joohyun. It was rumored that they would attend the wedding—something quite rare for political marriages.

“I didn’t know Princess Joohyun’s parents were going to attend the wedding,” Baekhyun said to Kyungsoo.

“I think they’re friends with the Emperor or something. They were pretty miffed when the wedding was delayed by a couple of months, but you know. We had to. There was a freaking coup going on.”

Baekhyun nodded in understanding. Friends with the Royal Family. No wonder they were so adamant on Chanyeol and Joohyun getting married.

Suddenly, the orchestra stopped their music, and somebody walked up to the magnificent organ placed to the side of the makeshift stage. Baekhyun recognized the organist to be the street-side bard, Chen, whom Chanyeol had taken a great liking to. He used to joke that he’d invite Chen to play his wedding with Baekhyun, and Baekhyun always thought of Chen’s music as something special between the two of them—something they could giggle and laugh about behind the scenes of reality.

Not anymore, he guessed. Replacements are so easy to find.

Conversations fell quiet as Chen pressed note after note on the organ. The song was obviously a march—that was crucial to a royal wedding—but Baekhyun couldn’t help but feel as if it was more of a lament. Baekhyun was only glad that it wasn’t the song Chanyeol had picked for their mock wedding.

 

“Baekhyun, I’ll never let you pick the songs for our wedding. You like such sad songs.”

Baekhyun scoffed. “Please, I like amazing songs. There’s a difference.”

“They’re still sad though.” Chanyeol pouted. “I want my wedding to be happy! With like, rainbows and unicorns and everything.”

“Unicorns aren’t real,” Baekhyun deadpanned.

“…”

“…”

“Would you stop ting on my parade? I might seriously reconsider my proposal okay.”

“I don’t think I care. I never said yes.”

“B-but I WANT TO SHOW YOU THE SONG I PICKED OUT.”

“…Fine. What is it?”

“Pomp and Circumstance! In D!”

“….That’s… a graduation march. Why are we using it for our wedding?”

Chanyeol’s face broke out into a grin when he heard Baekhyun use the word we.

“Because, it’s a graduation right? Graduating from friends and becoming lovers. Graduating from ordinary people and becoming soul mates.”

Baekhyun couldn’t bring himself to tell Chanyeol that soul mates never stayed.

 

The doors opened, and Chen stopped playing, turning around with a confused expression.

A guard—incidentally, the same one Baekhyun met earlier that day—ran up the aisle to whisper something into the Emperor’s ear. Baekhyun watched as the Emperor jolted in shock, immediately standing up and looking wildly at the doors.

A murmur passed through the crowd, and the Emperor finally realized that he was making a spectacle out of himself.

“Please excuse me for a second, there seems to have been some difficulties in the reception hall.”

The Emperor gave his wife a meaningful look before rushing out the doors, his personal bodyguards trailing after him.

No one remarked over how ridiculous it was for the Emperor to personally attend to matters in the reception halls, and instead, looked at each other in silence. Baekhyun glanced up at the front of the room, only to see the guard looking back at him.

Baekhyun kept his gaze steady and face blank, mind reeling from what just had happened. The guard assessed him quietly for a while, before crinkling the corners of his eyes and smiling. It was a smirk, a slight upturn of the lips, as if they shared a common secret. Baekhyun watched, eyes wide, as the guard mouthed something. Then he pulled out his cellphone and pointed at Baekhyun.

Almost on cue, Baekhyun’s phone started ringing.

He answered the call, never taking his eyes off the guard.

“Hello?”

“Meet me in the clearing.”

Click.

The guard smiled at Baekhyun, nodding, before turning on his heel and disappearing out the side door. Baekhyun sat there, awestruck, his hands dropping into his lap.

“Baekhyun? Baekhyun, who was that?”

Kyungsoo’s voice sounded like it was coming from the end of a long tunnel, and Baekhyun turned to look at him, eyes blank and shocked.

“Baek…hyun?”

Suddenly, Baekhyun snapped out of it and stood up.

“I. I’ve got to go,” he muttered under his breath, easing past a concerned Luhan and sprinting down the side and out the chapel.

“Wait, Baekhyun!”

Baekhyun registered Kyungsoo calling after him, but he didn’t slow down. He brushed past the two guards standing by the doors of the chapel, staring at him in confusion, and barreled past the hallways to the parking lot. Once he reached his car, he wrenched the door open and pulled out of the parking lot, tires screeching against the asphalt.

Park Chanyeol. I’m going to murder you.

As Baekhyun drove down the streets, car weaving through the messy traffic, he realized that he didn’t feel anger.

As much as he should, he didn’t.

All he felt was exhilaration roiling through his stomach, and something almost like happiness bubbling in his chest. A laugh was threatening to escape from his throat, and he vaguely wondered if he was going crazy.

After all, the Crown Prince fleeing from his own wedding was no laughing matter.

But still, the feeling did not pass. He skidded to a stop a few feet from the edges of the forest and stumbled out of his car, tripping almost twice as he rushed to the clearing. He sprinted through the thick forestry, falling flat on his face when the clearing was finally in sight thanks to a thick vine and his impatience.

He finally slowed to a stop when he could see Chanyeol’s silhouette. Chanyeol’s back was facing him, and the halo the sunlight made around him rendered him almost divine. He was still wearing his princely attire, and he looked like an angel clothed in all that white. It was painful looking at him, Baekhyun noticed, and he couldn’t stop the clenching at his heart.

The reckless excitement had disappeared, and all he could think about right now was the fact that he loved this man. This person whom he could never have. And he loved him so, so much that it physically hurt him to be near him and know, at the same time, that soon—very, very soon—he wouldn’t be his anymore.

Chanyeol turned around.

Baekhyun tried for a smile.

“Hey.”

Chanyeol walked towards him, hands stuck in his pockets, and stopped a stone throw’s away from Baekhyun. His head was cocked to the side, and he wasn’t smiling.

“What happened to you?” He asked finally, after a minute of looking Baekhyun up and down.

He reached for Baekhyun’s scraped hand, but Baekhyun quickly hid it behind his back.

“Fell a couple of times getting here.”

Chanyeol raised an eyebrow. “Thought you’d know the way pretty well by now.”

Baekhyun shrugged. “I was in a hurry.”

He didn’t stop Chanyeol when he reached for his hand again. His skin tingled from the places Chanyeol touched him, and he resisted the urge to pull away.

“You should get that treated,” Chanyeol murmured quietly. “It might get infected.”

“It’s alright. I’ll live.”

“Mmh.”

The conversation was stilted, and Baekhyun didn’t like it.

There were so many things he wanted to tell Chanyeol—he wanted to reprimand him for ditching the wedding, he wanted to yell at him and scream at him for being such an insufferable , and most of all, he wanted to cry and break down in Chanyeol’s arms and tell him that he loved him.

“Let’s sit.”

Baekhyun nodded and allowed Chanyeol to lead him to the large rocks at the center of the meadow. They sat in silence.

“I’m sorry,” said Chanyeol finally. He propped his arms behind him and leaned back, head turned towards the sky. He squinted as the sun flooded his eyes, but it was easier looking at the sun than looking at Baekhyun.

“What for?”

Baekhyun’s voice was soft, a tad timid. It was terribly uncharacteristic of him, but then again, both of them weren’t acting like themselves today.

“Everything,” Chanyeol replied simply. “From twelve years ago till now.”

Twelve years. It’s really been a long time.

Baekhyun was quiet for a moment, not quite finding his voice. He wasn’t sure what to make of Chanyeol’s words, and there was a suffocating feeling somewhere near his chest, and all he wanted to do was run, run, just run away to anywhere but here.

“Why?” Baekhyun choked out after a long while.

There was a hot burning behind his eyelids, and he blinked furiously the get rid of it. He couldn’t cry now. That wouldn’t be fair—not to Chanyeol, not to him, not to Joohyun, not to anyone.

“Because.” Chanyeol finally turned around to look at Baekhyun, a blinding smile on his face. “Because I really shouldn’t have fallen in love with you.”

It wasn’t fair.

It just wasn’t. It wasn’t fair how Chanyeol could say those words so easily, like it was the most natural thing in the world. It wasn’t fair how Chanyeol’s smile broke the dam to Baekhyun’s tears, and now he couldn’t stop the flow. It wasn’t fair how sad Chanyeol looked, and how much that broke Baekhyun’s heart.

It wasn’t fair how Chanyeol could make Baekhyun fall irrevocably in love with him, so much that he’d give up the entire universe if Chanyeol asked for it.

It really hurt.

Baekhyun suddenly felt like the world had stopped around them—the clock had stopped ticking and the birds had stopped chirping. There was only them—him and Chanyeol—in this timeless dimension, where they could be together forever.

But life was never that beautiful—that easy—and there were always responsibilities to care for, duties to fulfill.

Baekhyun broke the gaze, looking down at his lap. His tears fell against his palms, and his hastily ran his hand across his eyes.

“Okay,” he whispered.

He felt Chanyeol shifting around, and suddenly, he was standing in front of him.

“Let’s go back,” Chanyeol said, grin still present on his face.

Baekhyun was beginning to learn between Chanyeol’s real smiles and forced smiles.

“Okay.”

The ride back was silent, and Baekhyun drove the car at a much slower speed. As they neared the chapel, he felt like someone had tied a scarf around his windpipe and was slowly tightening it. He was torn between wanting the ride to end and getting rid of this pain, and wanting it to go on forever and have Chanyeol to himself for a little while longer.

They were running out of time.

He slid the car into a parking space, but neither of them moved to get out.

Baekhyun’s fingers tightened around his car keys, and his mind was reeling. He had to do something. Say something.

“Chanyeol, I—” He finally began, turning to meet Chanyeol’s eyes.

“Don’t,” Chanyeol said, stopping Baekhyun. “Don’t, Baekhyun.”

He smiled.

“Thank you. For...this.”

Baekhyun watched helplessly as Chanyeol got out of the car, his words dying in his throat.

He followed Chanyeol into the chapel, putting a good distance in between them. He saw that one guard standing by the door, but he didn’t meet his eyes. Baekhyun sat down at his seat once again, knowing that both Luhan and Kyungsoo were looking at him worriedly. He didn’t say anything to them.

Luhan rubbled gentle circles around one of his hands, and it was comforting—the mechanical movement—and even the stinging pain in his other hand seemed to have faded. He tried to focus on Luhan’s touch instead of the front of the church.

Princess Joohyun was sitting in the front row, looking at Chanyeol with a mix of incredulity and anxiousness.

The Emperor was furious.

“Where have you been?” He hissed, grabbing Chanyeol and pulling him towards him. “We’ve been waiting here forever.”

“I’m sorry,” Chanyeol said, eyes trained to the floor. “I-I’ll explain.”

“Explain later.” The emperor waved his hand around impatiently. “The wedding must go on. Bard, do start pl—”

“No.”

The Emperor stopped midsentence and turned to look at Chanyeol with disbelief.

“Pardon?”

Chanyeol raised his eyes, looking at his father with a sort of quiet determination.

“No. The wedding will not continue. I refuse to marry Princess Joohyun.”

His words rang loud and clear throughout the chapel, and a collective gasp passed through the audience. Baekhyun stared at him in shock.

The Emperor gripped Chanyeol’s wrist so tightly the skin was turning white, but Chanyeol did not flinch, nor did he pull away. Instead, he turned to the general mass in the chapel.

“I apologize to each and every one of you for making you come to this wedding reception and receive nothing in return. I know your time is precious, and you do not appreciate it being wasted, but I hope that you will forgive me.”

Another murmur spread throughout the crowd.

“What are you doing?” The Emperor demanded. “Sit down immediately and let me handle this.”

“No. Father, let me.” Chanyeol finally stepped away and walked to the middle of the stage.

His eyes scanned the crowd and paused on Baekhyun momentarily, before they moved on to someone else.

“This wedding was against my will,” Chanyeol began after the people had quieted down. “It was an arranged marriage—like most political marriages are. I have not met Princess Joohyung until a week after the wedding was announced to the public. I had no idea what she looked like, no idea how she looked. For all I know, she could be an ugly old hag with the voice of a man.”

He chuckled humorlessly.

“But I was lucky. She wasn’t. Princess Joohyun is a beautiful young lady, more than suited to be my wife. I should’ve been satisfied—delighted even—to have such a beauty as my partner. But I wasn’t.”

He paused for a moment, his lips, and all of a sudden, his gaze turned almost desperate. The crowd was silent with anticipation as they waited impatiently for what he had to say next.

“I wasn’t,” he said quietly. “Because I was in love with someone else. And you know, love, that fickle thing. It makes you unable to see anything else—anyone else—and I just couldn’t see Princess Joohyun as anything more than another person. I knew I had to, for the duty of my country because I’m the Crown Prince and all, but I couldn’t.

“I love this person much too much. And I know I’m being selfish. I know I’m creating a lot of trouble for both my family and Princess Joohyun’s family, and I’m sorry. But, it takes a lot to be the Crown Prince. I’ve known that for all my life. Perhaps every one of you would love to be the Crown Prince, to relish in the power that I would one day have over the country. But you only see one side of it.

“Imagine having to give up the right to be with the person you love. Imagine having to see him or her every single darned day and know that wow, you’ll never be together, so you might as well shoot yourself in the skull now. It’s hard. Really.

“And I know, even now with my calling the wedding off, I still might not be with this person. This person may not love me back. But I want to try.”

Chanyeol looked at Baekhyun and gave him a sad smile.

“I want to give us a chance.”

 

 

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A/N: The first time I heard the phrase "find a silver lining" was when I was reading a CareBear's book back in kindergarden. I pictured the silver lining as hope in the form of a rope, hanging down in a well of despair, giving one something to grab onto at their darkest times. A chance.

Do check out my new story "Chasing Blue Skies" which is actually finished, thank heavens. And follow me on Tumblr to ask me questions and stuff.

I'll see you guys soon! Love you all :) Xoxo, Holly.