I just realized for the whole time that it was my first kiss. Leetuk just had stolen my first kiss. And I didn’t feel something I imagined when I was longing for it.

I stayed at that position for another 10 minutes until a voice woke me up from whatever I’ve been staying in.

“Hyuk…”

And I was really sure it was Donghae.

---

Donghae’s existence is just like an arrival of a holy angel. I was desperate to run at him and receive a calming hug or whatever I should just received in this kind of situation, from him.

At the last weeks, he was acting so sweet toward me. Though he said that he will only act that way just when the school was over, he kept trying to steal a moment when we were alone and said sweet things which I oddly like.

And after what was happening earlier, I just realized and regretted so many things I’ve done to him.

Leeteuk brought me to the rooftop where there were no other people. I wondered what he was going to do and the usual nervous feeling whenever he was around began to cover me up. And the feeling kind of tripled due to the fact that there were just the two of us at the rooftop.

I tried to stand still with him standing beside me, looking at the environment around our school that could be seen from the rooftop.

Silence were surrounding us for a while before he started the conversation,

“Do you have any idea why I take you here?”

I took my time on thinking of a decent answer but I really didn’t know why and only a simple no that produced by my mouth. He smiled and turned facing me.

“Do you enjoy joining the committee, Hyukjae?” He asked. I badly wanted to say no. Really, it’s consumed all my free time that should be used to compose or practice dancing with the others. But no, not in front of the committee’s leader.

“Mmm… yes, of course.” I said showing my gummy smile. Adding a firm nod to assure him that I was actually saying the truth.

He smiled even wider again showing his white teeth make my heart skipped a beat. I’ve never seen him in this close distance and he actually looked even more handsome. He looked away and watching the scenery again and didn’t continue the conversation.

He didn’t say anything for about more than 15 minutes. It was obviously driving me crazy. Did he just bring me here to ask if I enjoy and fancy to be a part of the event’s committee? I couldn’t believe that a people like him could do something really unimportant like this.

“Is that all?” I carefully asked.

“I’m telling you something, Hyukjae. Promise me you’re the only one who knows beside the council’s members.” He finally said right after I showed my waiting reaction. He showed me a serious expression which was rarely shown by him.

“Okay.” I answered a bit hesitant about my answer itself. Why does he should hide something from everyone? And why I’m the one that may know the problem?

“Actually, we haven’t collect all the funds we need yet.” He said. I was a bit surprised and relaxed at the same time. Surprised because knowing that he has been lying to the committee members that we already successfully collect all of the funds needed.

Relaxed because knowing that the matter he took forever to tell to is just as simple as that. It is normal and happened quiet often, lack of funds for school event and all. We all are students who are working for the event and sponsors that could possibly get may not really satisfying. But why he has to hide it by the way? He could just tell it to the members and encourage them a bit to collect more money, right? Leeteuk I’ve always known is a person with a good leadership by soul and could manage everything neatly.

But again the question that popped out is why he has to hide and chose not to tell a simple matter like this.

“But… all the stuffs needed… and the guests...” Instead of asking him the question that have been lingering on my mind earlier, I asked a question of my realization, but before I tried to manage to finish it, he cut,

“Yes, we’ve paid for all the stuffs and even the guests. With some help from council’s savings, and we need to repay it.” He said blankly while looking at me, “Soon.”

I kept my silent for a moment to process his words on my mind, and I listened he said again,

“And Hyukjae… Do you mind to give a little help?” He asked showing a slight pleading facial expression while looking straightly into my eyes.

I was about to say yes but too mesmerized by his eyes in this close distance to even produce the simple word out of my mouth.

“And I will let you to do what you’ve been wanting for.” He said.

The thing I’ve been wanting for? Does he mean… being his… boyfriend?

I bet I failed hiding my curious expression because next he answered too the question,

“You’ve been wanting to be a part of us, right? He said smiling again. “I could make you into the group, you know.”

“You’re cute. The other will surely welcome you.” He finished his uncompleted explanation nonchalantly.

I could just stare him with a not-so-good expression. I left my mouth open feeling dumbfounded and all.

“And you may leave unpopular guy friend of yours, I’m quiet sure you’re not getting any cooler by getting out with him.”

 I stopped thinking for a moment. I clearly know who the guy he was talking about.

Did he just make an insult for… Hae?

“So Hyukjae, don’t you think it would be great?”

---

So here he stood now near the rooftop door. The guy whom Leeteuk just made an insult for. Lee Donghae. My… best friend.

I didn’t like a bit of Leeteuk’s word about Donghae earlier. Why he has to mock him after all? He could say he needs the money and it will be finalized. I will try to find and give the funds we all needed without hoping to be one of the members of his group.

Wait… what is gotten into me? Is it really my real self who were staying in my body now? Wasn’t I the one who always praise him together with his group of popular guys?

I must’ve been really insane now. I’m sure I’ve lost my sanity for thinking I’ve lost my interest on him. On Leeteuk.

And I didn’t feel anything wrong about it.

Now, what all matters is Donghae.

“What are you doing here, Hyuk?” He said after a long silence that have been covering us. He walked near me and I just realized for all times that his figure is just way more mesmerizing than Leeteuk’s.

His muscular arms were wrapped perfectly into his school uniforms, his slightly exposed chest in fair and y complexion behind the shirt, and looking at his face, his beautiful lips, nose, and a pair of beautiful orbs were there. The things that he was all times wiling to give in to me.

And because of my stupidity, I just realized them all.

He finally stood so close before me and I was afraid that he could hear my heart thumped like crazy. It was the first time of my life I’m feeling so nervous and tremendously happy at the same time especially in front of Donghae.

“I’ve never known you like to watch sceneries, Hyuk. I should just take you somewhere where all the beautiful sceneries are free for you to watch.” He said with his lately-so-sweet voice, smiling sweetly and looked at me sincerely. It was the first sentence, ever, that could weaken the both of my knees in a count of seconds.

“I know a place, Hyukkie. You’re going to love it.” He said again with a same tone of voice and expression, adding the sweetness by using a nickname he has invented for me.

I’m really afraid that I could really faint any moment so I made a lame excuse of going to the comfort room and left the rooftop.

Luckily he didn’t really follow me downstairs. I walked my direction to the nearest toilet. I did lead myself there, I need a refreshing time after what just happening to me.

With Donghae of course. I’m almost forgotten that Leeteuk was just stolen my first kiss.

I kept walking in a rather fast pace to the direction of the comfort room ignoring the rather crowd situation around. I was stopped when feeling a tap on my shoulder.

I turned around just to see an unknown guy wearing a pair of usual clothes, obviously wasn’t one of the students.

“You dropped this.” He said handing me a piece of crumpled paper. I couldn’t remember on having it but I took it as I muttered a simple thanks.

“Do you know where the music room is?” He asked making me faced him. I took a little awhile before answering, “Level 3, near the library.”

“Thanks.” He said smiling made his eyes grew smaller

He fixed something slinging on his shoulder which I later found it was a violin case as he walked away.

I stood there for a moment fixed the crumpled things and saw a familiar line printed on it:

Happiness is hard to find, but it’s not far from you.

“Thank you.” I muttered at the crumpled thing before started to walk away leaving the place and continued walking in normal pace to the place I was heading to.

Fate- noun

The things that happen to someone or something, especially unpleasant things that end their existence or end a particular period