ღ________Author's Note  

It's been a while but it's up guys :)! In this chapter and most likely the future ones, there's going to be flashbacks and etc. I didn't want it to be too confusing so dreams/flashbacks will be in a paler shade of orange now ^^ Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter ^o^

 

I watch in horror as the black belt whips through the air. My arms on reflex goes to protect my head and I feel the rough leather material come in contact with me, burning through my skin, sending screeches of agonizing pain racing through my body. Tears and cries immediately respond to the excruciating but familiar sting and I beg the person to stop…but this only fuel on to their cruel intentions and their actions get faster and more brutal. I feel myself getting weary and soon the pain seems to surprisingly lessen…and before I lose myself to the blackness I could still hear the person’s bloodcurdling laugh…


 

My eyes instantly shoot open and my lungs violently heave in and out, hungrily devouring the air. I rub my eyes and notice that my forehead is drench with sweat. On instinct, I rub the side of my arms; as if the pain was still there…but it isn't…it was so long ago… I scan my surrounding and let out a sigh of relief as I remember that I’m in my room…away from that person…away from that pain.


 

The next morning, I find dark bags under my eyes and I resist my eyelid’s impulse to drape over my eyes. Every time I close my eyes, that nightmare would come back to haunt me…it felt so real…so the best solution was to stay awake…

“You look horrible,” Doojoon remarks as he takes a sip from his coffee. “Thanks for stating the obvious” was what I would have said to him but I was too tired to glare at him so I just stared at the cereal in front of me.

When he didn’t get a response, he poked my face, “Hey, you okay?”

“I’m okay…I’m…just too tired,” I told him while stuffing the spoon fill with cereal and milk in my mouth. For some reason…all I could taste is the crunchiness of the cereal, not the fruity flavor of the fruit loops…

“You’ve been having those dreams again.” His voice made it seem like it was a statement, not a question. So I didn’t make any effort to deny it.

“Yeah…I have but they usually go away after a day or two,” I reminded him while his brows furrow in concern and worry. Doojoon would always be stress whenever these dreams occur, over the year… I went to some psychologist for help and the recurrences of these nightmares have dwindled but it sometimes decides to plan a surprise attack on me.

The look on his face told me that for some reason my last statement didn’t clear away his uncertainties, if worse they only made him worry MORE.

“You know that I’m always here to lend an ear,” he said while patting me on the head.

“I know, I know,” I responded while finishing the rest of the tasteless cereal. The rest of the morning was spent in silence until it was time for me to go to university. Before leaving though, Doojoon reminded me that I shouldn’t push myself and to be careful. Careful of what? He kisses me on the forehead and ushers me out of the door. Despite us being siblings, he was never the type to do skin ship so the flush of red on his face was self-explanatory.

Before leaving though, I receive a text message from someone I hadn’t seen in a while. Heo Gayoon.


Hey Airi, want to have lunch today? :)

-Gayoon


I feel the corner of my lips curl upwards to form a small smile. I quickly responded to her.


Sure thing Heogaga, the usual time and place then?

-Airiss


At least today, there was something I could look forward to…


 

After sleeping through my first class, my body feels more refresh and alive. Now I just need to tackle my second class then its lunch time and I can see Gayoonie again. It’s only been a few days since I’ve seen her but it felt like an eternity. I wonder how she’s doing and if she’s still working there…

“Alright, class is starting,” the professor’s voice echoes across the room and I turn my full attention back to him.


 

I half jog to the café near the university. I was late…again. But I guess Gayoonie should be used to this already. I rush into the café, scanning the room trying to find her. Then I see a figure sitting near the window table, her back towards me. The sunlight peering through the window gave her long brown hair a beautiful golden glow to it. And the way she would check her watch and the imaginary pout she would do whenever she’s waiting for someone made me smile.

“HEOGAGA!” I said, raising my voice a bit and that cause the figure to turn around and glare at me.

I slip into the seat in front of her, and place my bag on the chair beside me.

“You’re late,” she comments, taking a sip from her coffee. The smile on my face only grew bigger and her facial expression softened up a bit.

“I’m sorry, Heogaga,” I answer and she sends me another glare.

“Honestly…Airi, I give you this beautiful nickname and in return you give me Heogaga. It sounds like some evil curse or something,” she complains while I let out a little laugh. She was half right. When I was looking through a spell book, I mistaken one of the spells for Heogaga, and that reminded me of Gayoonie so I started to call her that, much to her dismay.

“It’s a special nickname that only I can use though,” I mention while she sighs in response.

“It’s like me calling you Chaeaiai,” she said while I just shrug it off.

“You can call me that if you wish,” I reply. Chaeaiai, I wouldn’t mind that nickname but it is rather difficult to say. Speaking of names that are hard to pronounce….this reminds me of something…


 

“Airissu—“

“Hyungsuneg, it’s Airiss. Take out the ‘su’” I teasingly remind him while he pouts. I admit that my name isn’t the easiest thing to pronounce like Gina or Anne but I still like to point out his flaws.

“You know how hard it is to say your name,” he whines.

“Then don’t ever say my name again,” I continued to tease while he looked taken back, his expression clouded with frustration.

“Airissu…Airissu,” he mumbles under his breath, trying to take out the ‘su’ at the end. At that moment, I thought he looks so cute reciting my name over and over again, it slighty added to my desire to some more. I love how my name sounds so cute and noticeably beautiful when he says it.

I stared at him for a while, enjoying this moment way too much. “I’m just jok—“

“Your nickname will be Risu!” He suddenly brings up, facing me, his eyes glistening with his new-found idea.

I stare at him; my eyes widen in confusion with a trace of madness. He has to be joking, right? Risu…Risu…it sounds like some ramen company or something…

“I’m serious. Risu is a cute name and I’m sure I’m the only one that calls you that ~” He says, proud that he thought of such a wondrous name.

“Can’t you come up with anything more…normal?!” I exclaim, adding emphasis on the normal, while he enters a fit of laughter. I'm beginning to think that the word normal doesn't exist in his dictionary.

“You can call me Seungie if you like,” he adds, trying to make me feel better about my odd nickname.

“How come you get a normal Seungie and I get weird Risu?” I question. At that point, it wasn’t about the name being weird or normal…call me a little possessive but Seungie would be a common nickname and I bet most of his friends call him that already. No one calls me Risu and he’s probably going be the only one…and I want to be the only one for him as well…


 

“Hey Airi…Airi?!” Gayoonie worryingly says, waving her hand in front of my face.

I shake my head a little, trying to push those memories into the back of my brain. “I’m still here,” I assure her while she breathes out a sign of relief.

“You look lost there… Woonie asked what you wanted to order,” she says, motioning towards the waiter standing beside me. I turn towards him and warmly smile at him. He returns it with the same affection.

“Your order, Airi?” he asks while getting his notepad ready.

“The usual Woonie,” I told him while he grins in recognition and write it down. It’s been a while since I’ve been here but I’m glad that Woonie still remembers my order.

I notice that it was getting a little stuffy wearing my coat so I slip it off.

“You still wear those?” Gayoonie asks while eyeing the arm warmers. At the mention of them, my hands unconsciously went to tug at them, pulling them higher up my arms. After wearing them for a while now, it’s grown to be a habit to wear them through rain or sun.

“It’s already a habit,” I reply while Woonie comes back with my coffee and my slice of battenberg cake and Gayoonie’s slice of black forest cake.

“Thanks,” we both echo while he smiles and walk off to serve the next customers.

As I eat my battenberg cake, I stare at the fascinating checker yellow and pink pattern on the inside. It’s a mystery as to how the patterns are created but very pleasing to the eyes.

“Sangryu says he misses you a lot,” Gayoonie speaks up and my head immediately jerks up. I find myself staring at her unwavering eyes of sincerity and I feel my lungs grasping for air. When did I stop breathing?

My hold on the coffee handle slightly shakes, but I quickly regain myself. “How is he doing?” I ask, ignoring her first statement.

“He’s slowly improving…just yesterday…he smiled…” she responded, a smile gracing her lips. I feel myself getting all warm inside just by hearing this…it really is a miracle…


 

I stare at the pictures the kids have been drawing while Gayoonie’s busy cleaning up after them. We volunteer at a preschool because Gayoonie wants to be a teacher so this would benefit her while I wanted to be an art therapist, and children are probably one big percentage of their customers, so by getting myself more comfortable around them, it would benefit me as well.

As I stroll through the pictures, a particular one catches my attention. In contrast to the other ones that are bright and cheerful, this one is dark, gloomy and monotone. It was a picture of a boy standing in the middle, to his right is a woman and to his left is a man. I stare at it curiously for a few seconds until I decide to flip to the other pictures.

“Heogaga, what’s the theme for these drawings?” I ask when I finally finish looking through all of them.

“The theme is family. The teacher just told us a few moments ago, stop being so forgetful,” she chuckles while she continues to place the books back on the bookshelf.

Family…yet the dark picture I saw before was bleak…gloomy…it showed loneliness, pain…the two people beside him were probably his parents…isolation from them? A distance relationship? And the black background weren’t just messy scribbles but lines that were calm and smooth…no anger associated when it was being drawn. The boy was slightly closer to the woman, signifying the closer relationship between them in contrast to the man…

“Who drew this?” I ask while pointing to the picture.

“Oh, that’s Sangryu’s drawing,” she replied while I continue to stare at the picture, analyzing it once more. For some reason Sangryu’s drawing provokes so much emotion but the biggest one is empathy.


 

“You gotta stop doing that,” Gayoonie grumble while I snap out of this reminiscing trance.

“What?” I ask while I act like I didn’t know what she was talking about.

“You slip in and out of your memories so easily…to be honest…I’m worried for you,” she says, extending an arm and placing it protectively over mine. I don’t flinch away from her touch but accept it.

“I’m sorry…” I mumble as she shakes her head in response.

“Don’t be…it’s not your fault…I just want you to know that I’m right here if you need me,” she assures me while we stay like that for a while.

“Thanks, Gayoonie…”

We continue to talk about the simplest things but I don’t mind because it’s been a while since I’ve been with her. Time with Gayoonie flies by so fast when I’m with her…and before I know it, it’s time to part for our next classes.

“We really have to talk more,” Gayoonie says before wrapping her arms around me, pulling me close to her.

“We will, I promise,” I respond while returning her hug.

“I’m just glad you’re back…” she whispers before pulling away.

“I’m glad I’m back too,” I answer while a soft smile adorns my lip.

With that, we part and I drag myself to my next class. Hopefully, I can keep my eyes awake.


 

Despite the death threats I receive from my mind, telling me that I needed sleep, I manage to stay awake through the rest of the class thanks to Nia’s annoying jabs from behind and Kerin’s rather loud ‘ahems’ now and then.

Now that class was over, the smart thing to do would be to go home and bury myself under my soft blanket and comforting pillows but no. I’m force to sit here at one of the round tables at the library. Apparently, we have a test in three days and due to my “procrastination problem” I’m force to study with Kerin, Nia, Junhyung, and Yoseob for the next three days. Thanks to them constantly threatening reminding me not to be late, here I am…at the usual spot ON TIME and here I am…ALONE.

I pick up the textbook and decide to study a bit before they come. When I hear footsteps coming from behind me, I smirk. I know just who it is.

“Nia, don’t try it,” I warn her, eyes still glue to my textbook. I hear a low dɑmmit escape her lips and I smile in delight.

“How did you know it’s me?” she asks while taking the seat beside me. Undoubtedly, Yoseob takes the seat beside her, placing his arm on the top of her chair.

“I could hear you,” I said while she pouted.

“Told you it wouldn’t work,” Yoseob’s voice rang, follow by a chuckle.

“Says the person who trips over the leg of the table when we arrive,” she retorts back while sticking her tongue at him.

“Hey!”

Since their daily couple quarrels are expected, I have developed a special talent of drowning all sounds out. I concentrate on the words swirling in front of me until someone interrupts me.

“Dude, what took you so long?” Yoseob complain as he sends a light punch to the person’s shoulder. The person stops for a while, catching his breath before a smile escapes his lip, and his eyes turn into crescents. He has a beautiful smile, and Yoseob seems to agree because he too smiles.

“Sorry, the professor made me stay late because he wanted to remind me about the last test… Geez, I know I didn’t do very well but he doesn’t have to rub it in,” he complains.

“Just do well on this one then you can shove the test in his face,” Yoseob replies laughing. “Plus, Riri didn’t do very well, so don’t feel too bad,” he adds while pointing at me. I glare at him, and throw an eraser at him…but him being Yoseob caught it in time and smirked at me.

Kikwang sends a gentle smile at me and I return it. He takes the seat beside Yoseob, which is directly across from me. I’m not surprise that he’s joining us, because he is Yoseob’s close friend since high school so when he transferred into the university, he immediately became a part of the group…but a reminder that he’s coming would be nice.

“Where’s Kerin and Junhyung? It’s been 20 minutes,” Nia remarks while looking around as we all sigh in response.

“Kerin. Junghyung. Missing together. I think you can do the math,” I answer her while the thought processes through her brain.

“Oh! ~ I get it,” she replies, forming the ‘o,’ and a light blush dances on her cheeks. “SERIOUSLY?!” She asks again. I watch as grins are all plastered on our faces because we know we’re misleading Nia but…this is all too enjoyable.

“You’re most likely right,” Kikwang responds, making her eyes grow wide in shock. We laugh at her cute response when both of them arrive on cue.

“Yo,” Junhyung says while taking the seat next to Kikwang.

“Hey, what happen to you?” Kerin speaks up, looking at Nia strangely as she takes the seat between Junhyung and I.

Nia stares, eye widen at Kerin, then she looks at Junhyung then back to Kerin, as if they committed a murder but she doesn’t say anything which annoys Kerin to death.

“Spit it out,” Kerin says, taking out her notes.

“You don’t want to know,” Yoseob replies while he, Kikwang and I burst into a fit of laughter leaving Kerin and Junhyung staring at each other, confusion clouding their expressions.

“Let’s get to studying,” I remind them while they all nod in agreement.

Unfortunately, the silence doesn’t last long because we have Yoseob.

“You know what’s really romantic?” he asks, his eyes glowing from the excitement from the discovery of this question.

We all stare at each other, Kikwang and Junhyung shrugging, Kerin not really listening and Nia looking up from her book and attentively listening.

“What is it?” Kikwang asks.

"Writing your girlfriend's name in the snow with your pee!" he merrily answers, laughing at his answer. Kerin upon hearing his response, randomly bursts into laughter and soon we all start laughing at his stupid answer.

Nia buries her face in her palms, probably questioning how his mind works while Junhyung lets out a long sigh.

“I’d like to see you do that,” I comment while horrifying looks overwhelm Nia’s eyes.

“It’s romantic but too crazy for me.”

“Yoseob, that’s not romantic, it’s more like humiliating your girlfriend,” Junhyung responds in his low calm voice.

“Hmm…if you put it that way, I want to see it,” Kerin adds, laughing at Nia who buries her face in her textbook while mumbling, “Why are you guys doing this to me…” After a while, we calm down until Kikwang starts to ask questions.

“I don’t get it. What’s the difference between reduplicative paramnesia and subjective doubles? They’re both categorized as delusional misidentification syndrome…but the difference?” Kikwang curiously asks, staring intensely at the notes in front of him.

“Reduplicative paramnesia is the belief that a place or location has been duplicated, while subjective doubles is a belief that they has been duplicated, or has a doppelganger,” I answer, not looking up from my notes. I only remember this because this question was the one I got wrong on the test.

“Ah ~ I see. Thanks, Air.”

“No problem.”

A moment of silence washes over us when Kikwang decides to break it again.

“I’m going to get some drinks, what do you guys want?” he asks, getting out a slip of paper to write it down.

“Drinks aren’t allowed in the library,” Nia mentions.

“It’s allowed, there aren’t much people here anyway and the librarian loves me,” Kerin responds. She’s right, despite all the laughters and Nia’s random loud outbursts, we’re still here.

“Wish I could say the same for me,” Junhyung mumbles.

“Maybe if you’ll stop treating this place as your sleeping area then maybe he’ll grow to like you,” Yoseob remarks earning a glare from Junhyung.

“Alright guys, then I assume you don’t want drinks. I’ll be going then,” Kikwang speaks up, getting up in his seat with all of us scream in union, “WAIT!”

Soon the names of our prefer drinks were neatly written down on his notebook after much difficulties.

“I’ll be back,” he says before leaving the library.

Right after he left, Nia turns towards me with eyes that were filled with questions that demanded answers. I pretend not to see them knowing the consequences but the interrogation was inescapable.

“Airi, what do you think of Kikwang?” she ask in that tone that sounded way too nice. It honestly scared me.

“He’s a good friend,” I respond, my eyes still not leaving my notebook.

“He’s a good guy, right?” Yoseob ask while I grumble under my breath.

“He’s a good guy,” I answered and I could tell Nia’s irritated with my short answers.

“He looked so disappointed when you didn’t even glance up to meet his eyes,” Kerin brings up while the four of them nod in agreement. That’s when it hit me… Don’t tell me…they’re trying to set me up with Kikwang… No way. My objection to this isn’t because of a certain someone that starts with a ‘H’ but because Kikwang’s a good guy, and also a very good friend…nothing more, nothing less.

“Don’t tell me you guys are playing matchmaker with Kikwang and I…” I said, letting out a big sigh.

“We’re not playing…we’re helping you,” Junhyung corrects me but it doesn’t sound any different to me.

“Forget it,” I said, trying to make my voice sound stern and determine. They’ve known me for a while. They should know how stubborn I could be.

“Kikwang’s a good guy, just give him a chance,” Yoseob adds, sending me a blinding smile.

“It’s ok—“ I begin to speak but was cut off by Nia.

“Don’t tell me you still can’t forget about Hyun—“ A loud thud was heard under the table followed by an “ow!” form Nia. My guess is that someone kicked her under the table.

“It’s okay for you guys to say his name.” Despite me saying that, the doubt that lingers in their eyes never left. And I knew I was lying to myself. It’s not okay to say his name. I won’t be able to bear it and who knows how I’ll react…would I break down and start crying? Or would I just die a little on the inside? I don’t know.

“Anyway, give Kikwang a chance,” Junhyung concludes while they all nod in union. I bite my tongue to make some stupid remarks that will eventually lead to them ganging up on me. So I decide to say one thing that I know will annoy the hell out of them.

“I’ll deeply consider it,” I reply as I try to show no emotion on my face or in my voice either. I smile mentally as I hear the low grumbles and sighs from them.

“Deeply consider what?” Kikwang curiously asks as he tries to juggle all of the drinks.

“Nothing, thanks for the drinks,” I smile at him more sweetly to make them more happy and he seems surprise but nether less happy at my response and smiles back with the cutest smile.

“We should get back to studying and whoever’s kicking me under the table… Stop it,” I say before getting ready to study again. Junhyung mutters a low sorry and everyone starts laughing again. I catch Nia muttering ‘sorry’ to me and I assure that its okay. She’s right. I probably didn’t forget about him yet…and I don’t know if I can…but being surrounded by my friends slash idiots every day can help me forget about him for a while. I admit, most of the times sometimes they’re weird, crazy, brainless and etc…but I love them unfortunately.


 

Not much happens, this chapter is like an intro to her present life :) Her current friends, and situation and etc ^^~! I hope it wasn't too boring ;P and not much Hyunseung in this but more Yoseob and Junhyung and their OC girlfriends :)!


SOOfyn-: Thanks for the encouragement ^~^! I hope you enjoy this chapter :)

mingwoon: I'm glad you like my update :D Yeah, Hyunseung seems so lovable I thought he would be one of the most popular ones but it looks like it's Doojoon and Junhyung ~ I'm happy you like the storyline! ^^ In the future...it doesn't look very good because more of her past is getting revealed <3 ~

maknaehariiex27: No worries about your mistake :) We all fail once in a while, right ^^~?