A Game of Luck and Fate
Finding Youღ________CHAPTER 1: A Game of Luck and Fate
I stared at the picture for a little too long. It’s a picture of him sleeping peacefully with his hands behind his head, supporting it. I close my eyes and try to paint this image in my head. I can almost smell the ocean mist and hear the comforting cries of the ocean. This scene is still so vivid in my head and the feelings are still alive, but they’re being suppress and lock away by these things call reasoning and logic. The right thing is to forget him, erase him from my life, and start on a fresh new page…but why is it so hard?
O N E Y E A R A G O
My pencil sloppily scratches against the blank piece of paper; soon the scratches form the outline of someone’s face, then his beautiful almond eyes and after a while, his whole face can be seen on the paper. He closes his eyes, and drowns into the lullaby of the crashing waves. His face tells the story of someone who endured hardships in his life and wants to get away from it all…but for someone who looks no older than 23, it’s surprising.
I close my sketchbook, enveloping numerous sketches of him inside. Surprisingly, I don’t feel ashamed or embarrassed for the several sketches of this man’s face. In my friend, Kerin’s point of view, it’s called stalking but stalking doesn’t sound too good…I prefer to call it, observing…admiration, to which she rolls her eyes in aggravation.
I look up at the sky to see the stars smiling at me. When did it get so late? I guess I better get going or I won’t be able to wake up on time tomorrow. There were times when I thought of quitting this peculiar admiration but quitting such a habit is hard. It is pure coincidence that I happen to be walking by this beach and notice him. It was a coincidence how the light from the lighthouse happened to illuminate his face, and a bigger coincidence how I had my sketchbook and pencil ready to appreciate his beauty. Then out of curiosity, on the following day, I decided to see if he was still there. To my surprise, he was there…and I was ready with my pencil and paper.
Suddenly, the cold wind brings me back to reality, sending little slaps across my cheek. It really is time for me to go.
*~*
While flipping through my sketchbook in class, I notice that the drawing from yesterday is gone. Panic runs through my vein.Oh...no…did I lose it yesterday? Is it at the beach?! What if he sees it...? No…I have to find it before that… Well, I know what my plans are for today.
“Hey Airiss, are you ready for the test tomorrow?” Kerin asks while drooling at some clothes feature on this popular online shopping mall.
“We have a test tomorrow?” I ask in surprise. This was my first time hearing about the test and I didn’t even have to look to see that Kerin and Nia were rolling their eyes at me.
“That’s why we’re having a study session today!” Nia announce while wrapping her arms around both of our shoulders. Change of plans; finding the picture will come later.
*~*
I curse this forgetful memory of mine. Nia refuse to let me leave unless I recite the symptoms of Oppositional Defiant Disorder perfectly, but for me, that prove to be a big challenge. Eventually, I memorize everything and was let out. So, here I am at 11:52PM, trying to find some sketch with the help of a flashlight that’s barely surviving on its weak battery life.
That’s when my legs trip over something hard. I landed on my knees and elbow with a thud and the flashlight rolled out of my hand. I quietly curse myself for my clumsiness and the hard thing that’s obstructing my path. I got up and was on my knees, brushing away from the dirt from my shirt. I watch in horror as I see the white papers contrasting against the dark stone. Just my luck. I forgot to zip my bag, and then some of the drawings from the sketchbook fell out, and was mocking me right now as they lazily lounge on the rock. I scurry to collect all of the sketches before they get blown away…but something stops me.
I stop when I heard a low groan. I froze and turned towards the sound. My hands finally found the flashlight and I aim it at the source of the sound. I took in a sharp intake of breath. It was him... The person I’ve been
“I’m so sorry,” I said nervously. I didn’t think it was him I trip over; I thought it was a log or something.
“It’s okay,” he punctuated with a yawn and started to stretch his arms. He had the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen. They were strain and tired but I found myself drawn into them, unable to avert my gaze. They were like a gate to his soul and I saw a hint of innocence, playfulness, and weariness all swirl in a puddle of emotion. His voice is lower and he seems more casual than I expected. Was he really sleeping here?! Kerin and Nia say I’m weird sometimes but this guy…is beyond weird. Actually, calling him weird would be an understatement.
“Were you planning on sleeping here?” I ask bluntly as I look around the pitch darkness.
“Yeah, until I wake up then I go home,” he replied, his voice still full of sleepiness. I could tell that he was still half asleep and that he didn’t care about some stranger interrogating him. Interesting…
“Don’t you get cold or something?” I continue to ask and he shows no sign of irritation or avoidance. He would be great friends with Nia and Kerin if they ever meet; he seems really chill and laid back.
“That’s when I decide to go home,” he answers before stopping short, looking like he encounter an epiphany.
“Oh, yeah, who are you?” He curiously questions and I let out a small chuckle. This guy is something. We’ve been talking for about a minute now and it dawns on him that we don’t know each other.
“I’m Chae Airiss, this is our first time meeting each other,” I introduce myself while half lying. It’s not the first time that I’ve met him but he doesn’t need to know that.
“Oh, hello, I’m Jang Hyunseung. It’s a pleasure to meet you,” he responds happily while extending his hand out. I gladly accept it and we share a beautiful exchange of smiles.
“Why are you here Airissu-sshi?” He asks with a slight accent, pronouncing my name like Airissu, instead of Airiss. I smile because I was used to this; throughout my school life, numerous people had challenges saying my name, and he wasn’t an exception.
“I’m here to find something…” I mumble while scanning around to see if there are any sketches left. It would be REALLY awkward if he finds one and quizzes me about it.
“Oh, is this what you’re looking for?” He remarks while getting a piece of paper from the inner pocket of his coat. His eyes were piercing through me and I couldn’t find the strength to break this eye contact.
I stare in horror at the paper he was holding up…
“I…I…” I stumble on my words, trying to find the right words…To hell with the right words, the situation can’t get any worse than this. I looked up to meet his eyes and was met with the dark orbs again…so captivating and the moonlight reflects off of them, giving it a majestic glow. Pure curiosity was shown in them and he took a step closer, leaning in, invading my personal space.
“Do you really want this back?” He asks, his voice suddenly getting huskier and had a dangerous edge to it. His grip on the paper loosens and the wind soon picks the paper off from his hand and they rejoice in a dance.
That’s when I finally snap out of his trance. From the corner of my eyes, I saw a flicker of white…The paper…Before I knew it, I was practically chasing after the sketch. I don’t know why it was so important but I just had to get it back…
Finally when it was within my grasp, I flipped it over and was faced with a blank piece of paper. I let a grumble escape my lips and my eyes narrow into dangerous slits. I turn around and Hyunseung-sshi raise both of his hands as a sign of mercy. His eyes gave off a joyful and harmless shimmer and I could feel myself weakening in his presence. The frown on my face slowly blooms into a smile.
“Is it really that important?” He innocently asks while I continue to glare at him. We stayed like that for a few seconds until he finally sighed.
“I have the real one here,” he says before digging into the pocket on the other side and holding yet another piece of paper out. I reach out for it and he didn’t tease me by moving it out of my reach, instead he handed it to me.
I flipped it onto the other side and stared at it. His peaceful sleeping face greeted me and I could feel a smile tugging at my lips. Now is not the time to smile; not in front of him; you’ll look like a creeper.
“You really like it, huh?” he remarks more loudly, trying to get my attention.
I rip my gaze away from the paper and look at him. If I say yes, would it mean that I like looking at his face? Or just like the picture in general? If I say no, then it would contradict my actions from before…but if I say yes…it would be so embarrassing!
“It’s…one of my best sketches,” was all I manage to roll off the tip of my tongue. I wasn’t lying; it was my best sketch. My lines and shading seem to enhance the overall sketch but that couldn’t take all the credit. Most of it went to Hyunseung’s beauty.
After what seemed like an eternity of us just staring at the ground, I glance at my watch. 12:14 AM. Oh, cr.ap…tomorrow’s test..Studying…OH MY GOSH. My eyes widened at the realization.
“I…have to go now; I have to study for tomorrow’s test…” I said while hurriedly grabbing my bag with all the sketches and wave a good bye to him.
He seems taken back by my sudden departure and open his mouth to say something, “I can drive you home…it’s not safe for a girl to walk around so late at night.”
“It’s okay, I live close by. Bye Hyunseung-sshi.” My slow walk turns into a little jog as the thought of failing tomorrow’s test haunts me.
“GOOD LUCK ON YOUR TEST!” Hyunseung yells loud for me to hear and I broke into a small smile.
*~*
After that, I remember not being able to concentrate properly on the notes in front of me. My encounter with Hyunseung never left me and everything he said replayed in my head.
I grumble to myself as I slam the textbook on the table. “How am I going to study?!” I furiously ask, while laying on the side of my cheek on the cold surface of the textbook. Somehow, I don’t regret the state I’m in because as my gaze lingers on the picture I have successfully found, and I knew that it was worth it.
*~*
“So, how was your test?” Hyunseung asks while staring at the sun as I paint the sky a beautiful shade of orange and pink. Ever since the last meeting, we openly talk to each other now…no more hiding and sketching him secretly. It’s not like it’s a planned meeting; if we see each other, we talk…sometimes I don’t come on certain days and vice versa…it’s like a game of luck and fate.
“I passed…not successfully though,” I told him while my eyes alternated from the sketchbook to the sunset in front of me. We were sitting on a rock, leaning against the stone wall for support. The sunset set a nice warm glow to his face, softening his expression.
I remember Nia scolding at me that day, when I walk out of the room, eyes widen in surprise. That was the first time I ever felt so unprepared, and the results of my test proved it. Kerin, as usual, just sigh and patted me on the back, telling me that I’ll do better next time. Still, I was shaken by the thought of almost failing…
“Awe, don’t feel too bad,” he comforts by patting me lightly on the shoulder. “What was the test about?”
“It was about developmental disorders,” I respond, grimacing at the reminder of my test. Of course, he doesn’t know that the reason why I didn’t get my satisfactory results.
“Huh?!” He asks out loud upon hearing my response. His voice was genuinely lace with surprise and the look on his face was priceless. “I thought you were an artist of some sort?” He questions while I chuckle, this respond was something that I expected. I’m usually out drawing and painting so I give off the impression of an artist. What he doesn’t know is that I’m known to be full of surprises.
“I’m majoring in the arts and psychology. I want to be an art therapist.” I reply as he still looks surprise at my answer.
“Sometimes, people have difficulty expressing themselves through words, especially people that require psychological help so communicating through art is something they would prefer,” I explain.
“Then why do you draw?” He asks while looking at my sketches. I smile, wasn’t the answer obvious? I draw because I like drawing; I’m one of those people that prefer to express myself through drawing.
“Because I like to,” I respond while concentrating on the setting sun, the colors that burst on the horizon line and the ocean glistens as if a thousand diamonds were thrown in the water.
“But being an art therapist doesn’t allow you to draw…” he continues to question me. Every day he throws questions at me, about my habits, preferences, myself and anything he wanted to know about. It was crazy but I still answer them, some whole heartedly and some carelessly.
“You’re right…but psychology is something that I want to learn about…but I wanted to incorporate drawing somehow…so I went to my guidance counselor in high school. He suggested that I should take this path and…I love it…” I said while recalling the memories of those days. The glee I experience when I found out about the career of an art therapist, how it matches so well with my career preference. I wanted to avoid the next questions he would not hesitate to ask me, “why? Why psychology?”
“My turn to ask questions! You’ve ask too many already,” I joke as he smiles at my comment.
“Sorry, my curiosity gets the better of me,” he apologizes while I tell him its okay.
“What are you majoring in?” I ask while I look at him, his clothing attire, his behavior, something to give me a hint…Hmm…he’s dress pretty casually, t-shirt with a sweater, jeans that aren’t too loose or tight and some sneakers. His behavior shows that he has manners, polite, and carefree. Base on his speech strucutre he also chooses his words carefully, and he’s considerate of others' feelings. Something social…a sales representative? Travel agency?
“I’m majoring in business management,” he said, his voice losing the happiness and delight it held before. Sounds like he doesn’t like his job…I decided not to pursue the table any farther because I had a feeling it was something personal and he didn’t want to share it.
“So…why do you come here every day?” The reason why I come here every day is simply to find inspiration to draw, and observeHyunseung. Now my reason seems to be more like talk with Hyunseung every day, a break from the boring classes, the quiet house and of course…to draw…
“I need to find something…” He says, his eyes lost in his thoughts. I stare at him; this is the first time his voice didn’t overflow with merriment, gaiety and blithe. He didn’t smile nor frown and his face shows no emotion. It gave me a new side to him, a more serious, intellectual, and mature color to him. For some reason…he looks so much more beautiful than he ever was and I knew that what he was trying to find wasn’t simple…it gave way to the darkest secrets, the agonizing tears and misery.
*~*
“Airiss, it’s time for dinner!” Doojoon’s voice booms from downstairs, snapping me out of the sudden wave of memories that wash over me.
“Coming!” I replied as I glanced at the sketch one more time. These words dwell at the bottom of the page, almost unnoticeablebut so meaningful.
The most beautiful things often times are the most dangerous
ღ________COMMENTS
maknaehariiex27: Thanks for the comment and encouragement ^^ but I think you have the character mix up XD ~ Junhyung appears in this but he's not the one hurting D:or do you mean if Hyunseung's the one hurting the girl :O ~ I'm confuse right now and sorry if I misinterrupted your comment ^^~ nether less I'm happy you're interested in it ^^
Hyeya_nim: Thanks for showing interest in this fanfic ^^! I hope you like this update :D
MaknaeNVOS: Thank you for the comment ^^ I hope you like this update ~~
mingwoon: Thank you for showing interest in this fanfiction :) I'm still new in terms of being a B2UTY, so I didn't notice Hyunseung wasn't a popular fanfic chose XDD ~ I hope you like this update :)
silverlining: Thank you for your kind comment ^^
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