When I got tot the apartment, Taka was already gone. I really needed to speak to her. I felt as if my world was falling apart. I threw myself on the couch and started crying softly, could anything else possibly go wrong? 

 

I soon remembered I had this thing with Dongwoon so my crying came to an end. Before I entered the shower, my phone started ringing, it was Taka. As much as I loved her, I just wasn't in the right mood to talk to her right now but I answered anyway.

 

"Hello." I said blankly.

"You okay? I just called to check up on you. I left early because Gikwang came earlier than I expected."

"Oh, uh don't worry about me, I'll be fine. Have fun okay?"

"Okay Chlo, I'll see you later and if I come home late, don't wait up for me."

"Bye." 

 

I really wanted to back out of this date with Dongwoon, was it even a date? I just wasn't feeling okay. My emotions was all over the place and I felt like a horrible mess. 

 

I didn't wait long for Dongwoon to pick me up, he was the type that was always on time.

 

"Ready to go?" He said.

"Yeah." I tried to smile.

"I'm really excited to be with you, I feel really happy when I'm with you." 

"I'm glad you feel that way."

 

We were in the waiting room to see the psychologist and I felt out of my element. I haven't been to a psychologist before so I wasn't sure what to expect.

 

"Don't be nervous." He said as he held my hand. His hands were so soft and warm. It felt really nice to be holding someones hands after such a long while.

 

 

"Dongwoon, you may go in now." I heard the receptionist say.

Without separating our hands, we got up from the sofa we were sitting on and made our way into the psychologist's room. When we walked in, it looked just like one you see in the movies. It had that living room/lounge feel to it.

 

"Please have a seat." The psychologist said. She seemed to be in her early 30's and she seemed to be very friendly.

 

"Ah, I see you have a friend. Please introduce yourself." She looked at me.

 

"Hi, I'm Chloé. I'm Dongwoon's friend."

 

"Nice to meet you Chloé, my name is Gina. Okay so what brings you here Chloé?"

 

"Uhm actually it was my idea that Chloé came tonight."

 

"No problem, shall we get started then?" She smiled. 

She had a certain grace and poise about her that I admired.

 

"Tell me what has happened since our last session." 

 

"Well I have been very busy at work and I recently found out that my sister is pregnant and I'm really happy for her. Knowing that I do want to have children one day makes me want to work harder so that I can give them what I never had. It also makes me feel that I do want to get married again and have a child."

 

The entire time Gina was quiet and just listened to what Dongwoon had to say. It felt kind of calming to sit in her office and just relax and forget about everything for a second.

 

"Dongwoon, what I'm noticing is you're now taking control of your own life. You definitely have direction however you're painting a picture and when I see that picture I see that because your sister is expecting, you feel as though you now also need to get married and have a baby and that's not the case. Just remember your family will love you no matter what, even if you don't ever get married and have a baby. Okay? Chloé do you have anything to add before we end our session?"

 

"No, I don't have anything to share."

"Okay then, Dongwoon I'll see you in two weeks and Chloé here is my business card and it was nice meeting you. You two have a wonderful evening."

 

Dongwoon and I walked to the nearest ice cream parlour, once we got our ice cream we decided to walk around for a bit.

 

"You're quiet. Everything okay?" He said.

 

"Yeah, I'm just thinking a lot about work." 

 

"I hope you had fun tonight, I know going to a psychologist is not your typical, average date but I thought I'd try something new."

"Yeah I had fun, you didn't tell me your sister was pregnant!"

 

"Yeah, sorry about that. I don't know I just feel so pressured to get married and have a baby its kind of silly that I'm feeling this way."

 

I felt sorry for him, just because he's so young and he had to go through so much.

 

After ice cream we headed back to Taka's apartment, I invited him in for some coffee before he left. It was really awesome to get to know a little bit more about him. He was slowly opening up to me. 

 

"Thanks for the coffee and thanks for tonight, I had a really great time." He said making his way to the door.

 

"Yeah, I had a really great time too." I smiled. His face and body leaned closer to mine, our lips were now inches away from each other. Our lips met for the very first time, he pulled away quickly. Our faces were still inches apart when he whispered on my lips. 

"I'm sorry." He wrapped his arms tightly around my waist.

 

He kissed my lips once more, his tongue brushed my lips. Once I felt the warmth of his tongue on my lips I parted my lips allowing his tongue into my mouth. Our tongues played around for a little bit before he slowly removed his tongue. 

 

"I should go." He said as he left.

I stood there in the doorway, my lips still swollen from the kiss. I wasn't sure how to feel, Dongwoon is a great guy however, I don't want to be in a relationship when I'm still not over someone else. I was exhausted, mentally, physically and emotionally. I went to bed and fell asleep almost instantly.

 

 

"Chlo??" I felt someone poking me.

"Chloé, wake up." I recognised Taka's voice. My eyes were now squinting at her, trying to figure out why on earth would she wake me up in the middle of the night.

 

"What's going on? Everything okay?" I said in my sleepy state.

"I wanted you to be the first to know, which is why I had to tell you now. I know you're going through a rough time and all but because you're my best friend I want you to know that Gikwang and I are getting married." She lifted up her left hand and showed me the ring. Her joy was undeniable, she was extremely happy. As for me, I wanted to burst into tears. I was no doubt happy for my friend but I couldn't help but feel that this was supposed to be me.

 

"I'm so happy for both of you, congratulations."

"Thanks so much Chlo, this means a lot to me that you're happy and all." My tears started appearing in my eyes until they just started flowing out.

 

"Chlo are you okay?"

"Yeah its tears of joy. I'm so happy for you both and I just want you to be happy that's all." More tears poured out. 

 

"Awwwww Chlo! This means even more to me, I want to know one more thing from you, would you like to be my maid of honor?"

 

"Yeah, sure. I'd love that." I tried to contain my overflowing tears. She hugged me and left my room.

 

I struggled to sleep that night. My eyes were red and puffy due to the tears. I was no shadow of a doubt happy for Taka but I couldn't help but feel emotional. This was my dream. I wanted to get married, I wanted that fairytale romance but in the end I didn't get it. I felt like a complete failure, I was definitely at my lowest point in my life right now...

 

 

 

 

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