I had a dream. It was a really sad dream. One might even say it was a nightmare. I have to tell someone before I go insane.

So it started off with me driving a car like any other normal day. Tao was next to me. He was smiling and happy telling me how before he met me, all he dreamt about was becoming a stripper for the man he fell in love with. (I don't think a convo that weird like that one would ever happen between us though.) Something about wanting to make sure his man never left him; yadda yadda, blah, blah, when all of a sudden this big, black truck (I guess the driver stepped the peddle on his brakes) all of a sudden jumped out in front of us. I lost control because of the quick shock and before I could crash Tao opened the door and yelled out something to me. I didn't make out the words but then I saw he jumped out. His hair was blowing in the wind and then all of a sudden he was on the floor, bleeding & bloody. Another man had jumped out on top of him (out of nowhere really or maybe I don't exactly remember where from) and was putting pressure on Panda's body: this only meant he was not getting the proper breaths of oxygen. I was in a state of shock so I didn't know what to call out or do but my brain DID WANT to do something about that stupid man.

BAM! The dream CUT OFF. I didn't learn what happened to Tao. I didn't see if he lived or died. If he's STILL breathing. If his wounds were thick enough. My dream cut off early enough that I didn't even see what happened to MY body. Had I DIED? Or was I with Tao in some sort of state of the art hospital. Thank any higher authority though that it was all just a figment of my imagination. (I couldn't and wouldn't everallow something so terrible and horrid as that to happen with my sugar pie. 

That morning, I awoke with sweat on my face. I felt cold and alone like never before.

By the time I had the courage and strength to get up out of bed there was a knocking at my door. I guess I forgot to pay my bills or something. But no it was a customer. I thought 'How the did you get my address? WHO are you? Who gave you where I live? I wanted to so badly shut the door in his face but I fought back the urge. Anything I did to upset the customer, would mean he would degrade me even further. That and he wouldn't pay me nearly as great as if I were to act like his toy. But without that good old, dirty sheets of paper, so called "money", I couldn't get my love anything he wanted.

What other purpose did I have on this world than to make Tao happy. Tao...Tao I whispered. I wasn't even paying attention to what the man was saying. Didn't hear anything but the sound of Panda's laughter. The way he would hold my hand. The way he would smile and look only at me; see only me. Again I could feel the sting of tears in my eyes and I had to blink to keep from crying. It seems lately, now the only thing I wanted to do to release my emotions was cry. 
< The man stepped inside. He seemed oddly familiar. Like the stench of his clothes I recognised. The way his hair was slicked back seemed oddly familiar as well. But his eyes gave off this owl-like, cruel feel. Like they were shooting right through my soul and seeing all the pain but choosing to ignore it since it was fairly large. 

I bowed my head in respect to him. (ALL customers were of always a higher authority.) 
He sat me down on my couch and asked me what I was doing here alone. 
I responded saying my hubby was off on a family vacation and wouldn't return for quite some time.

He told me if I had with him multiple times today, he'd pay me my weeks salary AND would get Tao in touch with me. I hadn't bothered to find out Tao's number either by the way. I was way too upset and delusional that Tao was just playing a sick game on me. But like the stupid person I was, I believed the man could get me with Tao again. I thought he could corect everything I had done wrong until then and more...I thought he would make Tao jealous by pretending to be my boyfriend, but I didn't know then he only wanted me and my . All that gushy stuff that I hated. My heart, he used. My pants, he tore. Above all, my dreams he crushed. Shattered, never to be shown again. 

I TRUSTED him. That man. I gave him my body. Close to giving him my heart. 

The begining of with him started off so sweet. It felt surreal almost melancholy. Like this man was having because someone else in his family had ordered him to let go of his sadness but couldn't so he just wanted comfort.

Still I TRUSTED him.