Eunmi's POV

When I came back into reality, it was not by startling awake. It seems like I was paralyzed in a way. The sensation of being able to move first came through my fingers with a twitch. Then that small burst of power went up my hand and into my arm. Next thing I know, I can feel every feeling in my body. Opening my tired strained eyes, I was expecting to look up at a white ceiling and sniff the smell of disinfectant indicating that I was at the hospital.

Instead I saw pink.

Pink? What the… Realization that I was somewhere I did not know, I quickly sat upright. Only to double over as I felt the soreness everywhere. How long was I out? Groaning, I clutched my head to stop the dizzy spell.

Once in control of myself, I looked around the room I was in. There was a window over to the left, spilling out the glorious morning sunlight. Over to the right, there were two doors. Looking down at myself, I could see that someone had dressed me in princess pink pajamas with sparkly tiara designs on it. Looking around the room again, I noticed something.

Everything was either in the color range of light, dark, or neutral pink. Someone sure has an obsession.

The bed was in the corner next to the window so I pulled apart the curtains a bit to get a sense of where I was. I was on the second floor overlooking a park. It was nice scenery but did not give me a clear clue if I was somewhere I been before. 

Closing the blinds I pushed off the covers and got on my feet but ended up falling down to the ground. Maybe I haven’t gotten my entire body back. Trying again, this time slowly, I stood up. Taking little steps I went to one of the doors that were closest to me. Inside was a bathroom.

Taking notice of one never been used package of toothbrush and toothpaste next to a clean towel and clothes that looked like my size, I found it strange why it was here. Were they for me? Didn’t want to waste them, I slipped off the pink disaster and went into the shower.

It felt great when the hot liquid hit my worn out body. Closing the taps, I reached for the towel and dried myself. Putting the clothes on, I found the person’s house I was in had Junsu-like fashion sense.

In the mirror you could see a girl wearing a long aqua shirt that had the words ‘Heartbreaker’ on front and a black tank top underneath. The gray ripped jeans added a Hollywood casual look to the summer look on top. If Junsu could see me now, he would stop complaining about my appearance. Heck, if the kids at school saw me, they wouldn’t even know it was me.

Taking the toothbrush out of it's confined package, I started brushing my teeth. Hearing the constant brush in the big, empty room I started thinking about what to do next and how long I was here.

My mind then strayed to Jay. Oh god, just thinking about him drove me nuts with discomfort. The thought of him doing something insane because I didn't come home after work got me to believe he hired a tracker to track me down. Roaming the streets looking for me, causing havoc throughout Seoul.

I mindlessly the taps, getting ready to spit out the foam forming in my mouth. While rinsing and finishing up, I didn't notice how I couldn't hear the rushing water. It was only until I got ready to turn it off that I discovered I went deaf, this time without warnings. The condition was getting worse. 

Looking at my reflection, I imagined cutting my hair. Bit by bit. Getting shorter and shorter with each snip of the scissors. The hair up to my shoulders now, another cut. And another. Until it got to the point where I couldn't cut anymore. Then taking out the shaver and shaving the remaining parts. 

Me with no hair. Bald. 

I was breathing rapidly now, my heartbeat increasing. My hands were clutching the edges of the sink, it felt like I was hyperventilating. Next thing I knew, my knees gave out and I was on the floor. Closing my eyes, I tried to stop thinking. Taking deep breathes, in and out, I slowly stopped. No more on the verge of lacking on air. 

Silence.

That's all I heard. Every damn time I start to deeply think about my sickness I go into a breakdown. I had a fear of dying. " Don't think about it, don't think about it. " I kept repeating in my head. If I don't think about it, I'll be okay. I'll be okay, if I don't think about it. People may think I'm emotionless and strong, but they're wrong. 

Since I was little, I always had help. From Jay, my parents, my friends. They were the ones that got me back on my feet, I needed someone to be there on my side to get me through the day. I didn't like being alone. I hated the thought of being left behind, to put it simply, I was a weak child back then. 

I silently chuckled, smirking cruelly to myself. ' And still am. ' Look at me now, I'm alone all the time. No one's at my side, I can't get through the day without thinking, " Is today it? " and mentally breaking down. I wasn't strong, I just put up a strong barrier between myself and others. 

Standing up, I reached for the door handle. The need of getting away was blazing, confined, empty places and me do not go well together. Opening the door, I was suddenly engulf with a monstrous hug. Red invaded my vision. I was in Amy's house?! Wait, that's good. That means Henry listened to me when I said not to take me to the hospital. 

Note to self, reward Henry somehow. 

Coming back into the moment, I could tell Amy was screaming stuff at me with the way she kept opening and gesturing wildly with her hands. I nodded, pretended I understood. She did not need to know I couldn't hear her right now. She then stopped talking mid-sentence and looked over my shoulder. I looked back and there was a lady in her late twenties standing by the door looking intensely at me. 

She said something but with my current state I couldn't hear her. Seeing my lack of response, she slightly widen her eyes but composed herself. She motioned to Amy, who was actually still talking to me, to go outside. Confused, she just followed the lady's order and went out, leaving only the lady and I together in the room.

Awkward I would have to put it. Yes, indeed. 

She walked over to the small desk over by the bed and pulled out a notepad and a red marker. Using the marker she began to write something on the paper, after a few seconds she turned it over so I could see what she wrote. 

"You can't hear right now can you?" she wrote. 

I stared at her. How did she know? Seeing my slight hesitation, she took it as a yes and began to write again. 

"I'm Dr. Lau, Amy and Henry's aunt. They brought you here because you had a high fever." Turning the page over, she continued on the other side. 

"But it seems like you have more than just a fever." 

"I don't know what you're talking about. I can hear perfectly fine." I said, maybe playing dumb will work. "I just had a high fever like you said, how many days have I been here?" I asked, wanting to change the subject.

She held up a finger indicating 1 day. If yesterday was Saturday .. then today was Sunday. Okay, just one day of not going home. I can just tell Jay I slept over at a friends house. But wait, what friend would I supposedly slept at. Amy and Henry were my friends, technically it wasn't a lie. Alright. Got my plan.

Bowing, I thanked her for letting me stay here.

"I get sudden visits often so it's normal for patients to stay here." She replied. But then remembered she was apparently talking to a deaf person and grabbed the notepad.

Hearing is back. Now time to prove her wrong. 

"You're a doctor that works in an office at home." I responded, surprising her. 

"I see you got your hearing back." 

"I was never deaf in the first place." I replied with a hint of annoyance. She looked at me, her eyes softening and giving me a tiny smile. I looked away, unable to meet her sad expression.

"Eunmi-ah, is it? While you were asleep, I operated some tests on you. Stop lying because I know." She took a step towards me. I took a step back. 

"I don't know what you're talking about. Please stop talking." I harshly, yet trying to politely speak, said to her. She didn't mind my bad behavior. 

"It's not healthy to lie. It builds stress. Eunmi-ah, it's okay." She soothingly tried to calm me down. 

"I wasn't healthy to being with." I snapped. My insides were boiling with rage. How could she poke inside me and just say it's okay. Nothing was okay, everything was wrong. Clenching my fists, I tried not to let the anger overtake me and do anything stupid. 

"It is going to be okay, I'm a doctor and I can help. I can help take it away from you forever." She reached a hand out to me but I dodged it and moved further away from her.  

"Who said I needed help. I don't need help so I don't need your help." Grabbing my bag by the bed, I went over to the door. "I have to go." I muttered, my hand on the doorknob. Before I could open it though, Dr. Lau prevented the door from opening by leaning her hand against the frame.

"Eunmi-ah, listen to a doctor's words. You have to get treated, otherwise it be too late." 

I couldn't take it anymore. 

"No. YOU listen to me doctor. Leave me alone. I know it's too late already. I'm going to die next year. I don't care about help because it's not going to frickin` help me at all." I screamed in her face.

I was being such a brat right now. 

Unfazed by my sudden outburst, she placed her hands on my shoulders and said straight into my eyes. 

"That's the thing Eunmi-ah. Your life is getting shorter because the tumor is spreading rapidly in your brain."

My mind went blank with that one word. Tumor.

"Your hearing is going on and off because the infection is spreading to that part of the brain and the medicine, those pills, I know you subscribed out to help reduce the process is not going to work like it did in the beginning. The tumor is growing. Soon it'll reach your vision and you'll slowly, like your on and off hearing, become blind. You'll have intense and painful headaches along the way, everything you can normally do will not work out so well. You'll have trouble walking, have problems with your memory, you'll go numb in some parts of your body, you'll have convulsions. You have to treat it now, it's already at it's last limit before it enters the untreatable stage." 

My mind raced back to the past. Flashbacks of umma laying in bed kept flying through my memory. All the symptons she had, I was going to have. My eyes slowly clouded away with remebrance of umma and her daily trips to the hospital. They tried helping her, but it was no use. Nothing helped. That's why she died. They lied and said everything was going to be okay like Dr. Lau said, but it wasn't. They lied.

They lied.

They lied. 

No help was going to help. 

Dr. Lau's last sentence brought me back to reality.

"You don't have another year to live, you only have 6 months left." 

It felt like the world was crashing down on me. 

6 measly months.

I won't be able to graduate. To finally become an adult and move back to Seattle to die alone, be buried by umma's side. Instead I got 6 months left with Jay. My plans for my life was going down the drain. I could imagine a toilet flushing down everything I believe was going to happen the moment the doctor, 7 years ago, announced that I have a tumor in my brain. 

There was a loud thump on the other side of the door. Curious, Dr. Lau gently pushed me out of the way and opened it. There was Amy and Henry on the floor trying not to make a sound that they were eavesdropping. Upon seeing me, Amy rushed to my side and gave me a death-grip hug.

"Why didn't you tell me?!" She kept saying over and over, trying not to choke on her words. There were tears streaming down her face. "Stupid, why didn't you tell me." She said softly, holding back her waterworks. 

Henry just walked away after a long look at me. 

I motionlessly stood there. 

Now three people knew my biggest secret. 

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Author's Corner. 

So, Infinite's new album Insprit. Can I say amazing? BUT SUNGYEOL STILL DOESN'T HAVE ANY SINGING PARTS. THAT BOTHERS ME. BUT HE'S STILL MY BIAS WHETHER OR NOT HE HAS ANY PARTS, THE MV WAS SUPER CUTE. I LIKED HOW SUNGYEOL GOT MOST SCREENTIME. Ordering my copy of it now, hoping it'll come in two weeks! & ZE:A's album was on the same date as well, same concept too. Rivals I say? But no offence ZE:A, I like Here I Am, but Infinite crushed you. Ahh, thank you lovely readers for reading and staying with my lack of updates!