Taken from Eunmi's Diary -

I used to be happy and cheerful. Always smiling my wide smile at everybody. Just living my childhood like an ordinary kid. Why did the happy moments have to end so soon? Why oh why did god just have to pick on my family. My parents were so in love. Jay oppa was someone I always looked up to, he was the nicest person I know. But with a snap of god's fingers, He took that away from me. Away from us, stripped us of our happiness. Why? Were we selfish for being a happy, loving family? Did we do anything wrong to offend you? I do not know. Nor do I know a way to get back our joy. 

-

8 year old Eunmi's POV

"Aish, you're just an 8 year old! Why do you need a job? Get out of here!" the manager of the restaurant yelled at me to get away. "Kids these days." He muttered before going back to his customers. Taking out a pen and my notebook, I crossed out the restaurant's name.  "Onto the next one." Checking to see if my shoes were tied properly, I pulled on my hood, placed the items away in my bag and went outside. Where the night was quietly letting down it's tears. 

The pitter-patter of the rain was all I could hear as I made my way up the big hill to my next destination. Once again, the interview was a failure. It was currently 9:00pm, I been looking for a job since 10:00am. I haven't ate anything since yesterday. Determined not to give up, thinking it was all for umma, I willed my tired out legs to keep walking. 

A few more trips and I still had nothing to celebrate over. No one wanted to hire a kid. I was at the last place on my list, my last hope. It was a small bakery, through the window I could see an old lady at the cash register and two girls cleaning up. Seems like it was closing time. I glanced at the door. 'Closed,' it said. Yup, I was right. That didn't stop me though.

I was about to knock on the door when a powerful thought struck me. "What are you doing here? A little kid alone at night looking for a job. Who would hire you? Shouldn't you leave the finances to the grownups?" My hand was floating near the glass. One tap and they would know I was outside their door. I let my arm sunk down to my side. If the others rejected me, what makes this place so special that it would hire a kid like me?

My confidence died out.

I was just an 8 year old. Who was I kidding. 

I slowly trudged a crestfallen me back home. Just when I'm ten steps away, a hand on my shoulder stops me from walking any further. I tensed. With a deep breath, I bravely looked up at the hand's owner. It was one of the girls from the window. "What's a cute kid like you walking around at this time of night?" She asked me. I didn't answer. Taking my silence as a form of being cautious, she continued on talking. "Don't be scared! I was just worried about why you're out here at night." I still kept silent. Not knowing what else to say, she grabbed my hand and gently pulled me back to the bakery. "C'mon, we have hot chocolate and cookies inside." 

It was with that girl's eagle eyes, noticing me at the door, that helped me land a job.

-

9 year old Eunmi's POV

Appa sending in money still wasn't enough. The bills kept coming. Umma's weekly trips to the hospital were becoming more frequent, she was getting worse and worse. At this rate, it seems like I would have to get a third job. Juggling school and 2 jobs all at once was already a handfull. How was I supposed to handle another workload? I couldn't handle it. 

But seeing umma on her bed, silent as a corpse made me rethink my decision. For her, I would. I would try. 

-

"Umma." I called out for the 10th time. Still, nothing in response. 

-

"Eunmi? EUNMI? WHERE ARE YOU? YOU LEFT DIDN'T YOU? YOU LEFT LIKE APPA AND JAY DIDN'T YOU?" Umma screamed irrationally, calling out for me. Tears were flowing down her cheeks, staining her beautiful features. 

I was standing right in front of her.

-

"Eunmi, Eunmi, Eunmi." Umma constantly cried like a record player. Rocking back and forth in a child position on her bed, I was silently watching her from the doorway. Looking out in case she hurts herself.  The shadows of the lights covering me. I knew she couldn't see nor hear me though.

"I'm so scared," she whispered.

-

10 year old Eunmi's POV

After entering the house from another day of tiring work, I knew something was wrong with the atmosphere. I ran to the blinking lights that emitted from the answering machine. I hesitated from clicking the 'one new message' button. " Positive thoughts, think positive thoughts. " Clearing my mind of negative emotions, I pressed my finger down onto the smooth surface of the round circle. 

"Hello? Is there a Mr. Park there? This is Dr. Jones. Sorry for leaving this on a message but we couldn't reach you with the other number. I'm sorry to say, Mrs. Par- ..." 

I ran out the door. Not wanting to hear him finish the sentence.

"No. It can't be true..."  I whispered. The line kept repeating itself over and over in my head.

-

13 year old Eunmi's POV

I stood emotionless in front of the grave. 

The letter indicating my father's death clutched within my palms. 

-

15 year old Eunmi's POV

"We're sending you to your brother's house in Seoul. Pack up your bags and get moving." The strict, stern social worker commanded. After finding out that a minor was living by herself for the past 5 years, they decided to ship me off. I slowly took one last stroll around the house. Already remembering every little detail. First stop, the kitchen.

-

"JAY OPPA! JAY OPPA! Piggyback!" The 5 year old me excitedly reached for Jay's back. Chuckling, he got down on his knees and waited for me to get on. "WEEEEE, let's go to umma and appa!" I commanded. Playing along, he ran at full speed to the kitchen. Today was Sunday, umma and appa were making the annual strawberry-whip cream pancakes and waffles. 

"LOOK UMMA, JAY'S MY HORSE." I happily exclaimed.

"Aigoo, don't cause trouble for your oppa alright my dear?" Umma lovingly smoothed down my out of place bed hair. 

-

I stopped at Jay's room. My eyes scanning the already empty space. I could remember where all the furniture used to be. I could remember all the fun times I had hanging out with my oppa.

-

"SLEEPOVER WITH OPPA YAY!" 6 year old me screamed with glee. I was snuggled up close next to him on his race car shaped bed. "Shh, you got to be quiet Eunmi, umma and appa will hear and bust us for not sleeping yet!" Giggling, I nodded. "Araso oppa!" With that I hushed down my tone of volume and excitedly chatted about random things to Jay who was listening with an awed expression.

-

Over to my left, it was my parents bedroom. Cautious, I pushed the already opened door. I let the door swung wide open. 

-

7 year old crazed me wildly entered her parents bedroom. Not minding that I was disturbing their sleep, I fumbled getting on top of the covers and once I got my balance, I began jumping on their bed. 

"ONE LITTLE MONKEY, JUMPING ON THE BED! ONE FELL DOWN AND BUMPED THEIR HEAD. THE MOMMA CALLED THE DOCTOR, AND THE DOCTOR SAID, SO MORE MONKEYS JUMPING ON THE BED!" I sang with my little, loud voice. 

Laughing, umma and appa sat up from their laying down position and pulled me towards them. 

- 

I didn't enter my room. I didn't even open the door. There were too many memories in that particular space that I didn't want to remember. 

"HURRY UP, THE CAR'S ALREADY HERE." The strict lady yelled at me as I walked down the stairs. "The things I deal with." I heard her mutter to herself. 

Ignoring her, I closed the front door behind me and walked towards the car. Placing my luggage in the backseat, I took one long glance at the big house and got into the vehicle. Off we went to the airport.

-

Last Entry from Eunmi's Diary -

I made my decision.