Sitting on the chair in the back stage, Cho Hee could feel her blood run cold. Her legs were trembling slightly and she felt her stomach flip for countless times. Looking to the door, she could picture the imagery of herself running towards it and out of the back stage. That was just one of the many possibilities she evaluated in her mind. She knew she had to do something to escape from the embarrassment that was awaiting her right there, on stage.

However, she knew very well that there was nothing she could do. She had tried more than enough times to know her effort is futile. No one can escape the hands of destiny; she finally understood the meaning of it fully. Then, the door burst open. Jiyeon came through with some guys following behind her, pushing a rack of stage costumes in. The girls cheered loudly as some dropped their make-up and rushed over. Squealing like kids who received a bag of candies, they grabbed the clothes off the rack and placed it against their bodies.

“Exactly the same.” Cho Hee thought on the inside.

Cho Hee walked over and removed the last piece from the rack as the others rushed for the changing room.

“Faster get changed, girls! We are going to rock the stage in 15 minutes’ time, alright?” Jiyeon asked.

“Ne!” They replied, some in the changing room while others before the mirror.

“Jiyeon.” Cho Hee called out as she grabbed her wrist before she could check out on the guys.

Jiyeon turned back and cocked her head to the side.

“Yes?” she asked hurriedly.

“Sorry but this is too small for me. It’s going to split if I wear it.” She pointed out with a blank look on.

She had to try her luck.

Jiyeon tapped her chin and few seconds later, she snapped her fingers as if she had thought of something. Placing her hand on Cho Hee’s shoulder, she smiled in reassurance.

“I’ll go get you a larger size. For now, put on some make-up first.” Jiyeon said before sprinting off.

She didn’t question where on Earth she was going to get a larger size for her. Maybe there was one given but accidentally kept away before. Maybe the supplier was still in school and somehow had a larger size. Maybe things could really be different. Walking to stand before the mirror with a hopeful heart, Cho Hee applied some foundation on her bare face. Suddenly, she saw images flashing in her mirror reflection. The dance, the split, the humiliation, the laughter, the scolding, the pain, she saw it all. Tears rolled down her cheeks and she pushed herself away from the dressing table.

She felt utterly stupid for still pinning hopes on the impossible.

She could see it coming and she needs to avoid it by hook or crook. She is a coward, she admits. Running out of the back stage dressing room, Cho Hee ignored all the protests and bewildered questionings from her team mates. Then, she stopped in her tracks when she met Jiyeon who was panting heavily. There was nothing in her hands but her phone. Cho Hee noticed Jiyeon’s hair got messed up slightly and beads of perspiration formed on her forehead. She tried hard to fulfill her request but it was still useless, indeed.

“I’m sorry, Jiyeon. I-I can’t do this anymore.” Cho Hee muttered under her breath.  

“What are you saying, Cho Hee? This is the senior performance! You can’t back away only now!” Jiyeon stepped closer and questioned with widened eyes.

“You don’t understand! I would screw up the performance! The skirt is going to split if I were to wear it! Sparklex is going to be laughed at as long as I am on stage!” Cho Hee half-shouted as tears spilled.

“Please, trust me.” She begged.

Jiyeon was dumbfounded at her sudden eruption.

“You’re thinking too much, Cho Hee. Trust me.” Jiyeon held her hand and squeezed it tightly in hers.

“Jiyeon! Your team is up next in 5 minutes’ time!” The emcee shouted and left the two alone sensing something was off.

“I am not.” Cho Hee spat bitterly.

“Cho Hee, please. Without you, we’re really screwed. The performance cannot change its formation only now. I am pleading you now. Please, I beg of you.” Jiyeon said as she looked straight into her eyes.

Cho Hee softened at her words and she bit her lips. Shutting her eyes, she felt another tear slip down her face.

“I’m sorry.” Cho Hee finally said as she pushed her hands away.

Opening her eyes, she was greeted by the rest of the group standing before her. Some of the members had confused expressions on while others had worried looks on their faces. Cho Hee steeled her heart and walked towards them in an attempt to walk away. Then, someone stepped forward and blocked her way. His shadow fell upon her.

“You didn’t even try. How would you know those things will happen?” he scolded in disapproval.

“And what do you know?” Cho Hee retorted as she looked up at him.

“I know that the whole of ‘Sparklex’ wants you to be on stage with us because we train and perform as one.” Hoya remained calm and sincere with his words.

Cho Hee fell silent at his words. She scanned the rest of the crowd and saw them nodding away. She felt something tugging at her heartstrings, hiding her logical self away. At that point, Hoya’s words cued the rest to cheer on for Cho Hee. She could distinctly hear the members telling her to not think negatively and that everything would be fine. Jiyeon asked her to stay with them. Even Myungsoo urged her to perform with them. Hoya told her to be his partner. And so she did even when she knew she was being dumb.

It was the first time she felt happy to be foolish.

Standing behind those curtains back stage, Cho Hee shivered in response. She took in deep breaths to calm her thumping heart. She told herself over and over again that everything would be fine.

“We will do fine.” Hoya said.

With his words, she was not certain anymore. It was all the same.

Then, the stage lights dimmed and Jiyeon gave everyone the cue. The members scurried to their allocated positions as rehearsed. Cho Hee took in a deep breath as she could see everyone in their spectator seats clearly even when the lights were still not on. She could vividly see them jeering like before. Suddenly, she regretted. However, she couldn’t possibly jump off the stage only now.

“Hwaiting.”

Snapping her head to the right, Cho Hee saw Hoya smiling at her. The stage lights came on and the crowd cheered loudly so she quickly returned her attention to the dance performance. The familiar performance music started playing through the high audio speakers and the members were listening carefully to the music notes while dancing accurately to the beat. Cho Hee was struggling to remember the steps and execute them correctly as she pushed those haunting scenes to the back of her head.

“It’s here.” Cho Hee thought.

The girls around her started sliding down to execute the well-rehearsed split. Hoya grabbed onto her hands and whispered for her to go down too. Cho Hee went down quickly to match the others’ pace. Everything was smooth and fine, she thought. Then, she heard something as she was being pulled up. It happened.

Standing there like a frozen sculpture, Cho Hee’s back side was completely exposed to the audience. The music was still playing in the background but some pairs stopped dancing when the crowd made a huge commotion. Cho Hee could feel the tension in the air and some member’s stiffened at the sudden happening. Hoya hurriedly removed his blazer and bent over to tie his blazer around Cho Hee’s waist. She did not move an inch.

“Sparklex! Sparklex! Sparklex! Sparklex!”

The juniors in the spectators’ stand started chanting ‘Sparklex’ and others followed. Surprisingly, the crowd cheered at the pair’s intimate actions and no one jeered at her fault. Cho Hee broke down into tears and Jiyeon went up to hug her. ‘It’s alright. You did well.’ Was all she could hear being whispered into her ears. Holding onto her hand, Jiyeon held onto the next person’s hand. All members subsequently formed a single line and walked up to the stage with proud smiles on their faces. Bowing down in sync, they earned an applause that was louder than ever. Many students stood up and applauded the team.

It turned out to be an imperfect perfect performance, a precious memory to last when everything is over.

The senior year performance has come to an end.

Author's Note:
Thank you so much for all the lovely comments you guys left for me last chapter. <3
I'm truthfully delighted to read your comments. Thank you.
I hope you enjoy reading this chapter...
'Dear Diary, I am Fat' will end in approximately 2 chapters' time.
Thank you so much for supporting this fic. ^^
ps. Are you guys worrying for Cho Hee? Just curious.