I searched her facial expressions for any signs of a response. Whatever happens I'll be by her side, whether it be as a best friend, big brother or lover. I don’t know much about life, but I know Kim Taeyeon holds a special place in my heart.

Silence fell on us like a down blanket, enveloping us. Tayeon's face remained expressionless. She has always been unpredictable, so I at this point I had no idea how she was going o react.

"Um... Oppa can you send me home," she said solemnly, taking me aback. I felt my heart drop. But I'm a different man now; I kept my calm and tried to be level headed. I gently let go of her shoulders and nodded wordlessly to her request. We walked back to my car with deafening silence.

The car ride back to her apartment was terribly quiet. We didn't engage in any conversation whatsoever. I didn't dare to steal a glance in her direction. As soon as I parked the car, Taeyeon got out and left without a word. That was the moment I knew I shouldn't have confessed. Consequently my rash actions may have resulted in a chasm in our relationship.

I sat there in my car for a few minutes so I could absorb the events of the evening. Damn, I messed up big time.

I drove back to the studio. I didn't feel like going back to the dorms and dealing with my members' antics. The studio was untouched and exactly the way Taeyeon and I left it. Which in my opinion made things worse. The normal state of the studio made the happenings of the night all feel unreal. My unconscious still needed to catch up with my conscious. I was expecting Taeyeon to pop into the studio any minute.

I dialed her number, so we could sort out this whole ordeal. Every single time, I was sent to voicemail before the second ring. Dammit. I tried once more, this time leaving a more than desperate voicemail.

"Taeyeon-ah... I'm sorry... I know it was sudden. Let's just forget this whole thing happened," I spoke anxiously into the receiver. I exhaled deeply before continuing, "I don't want to lose you. As long as I can stay by your side, I'll be content.... Whether it be as a brother or best friend. Call me Taetae... Please."

I hung up reluctantly. Then I proceeded to throw the phone across the room on the empty sofa. There was nothing more I could do. If she didn't want to talk, then it obviously wasn't going to happen. With nothing more to do, I started working on some music late into the night.

--------

I woke up at who knows what hour. I was slouched over my writing desk, music sheets scatter across the table, and sadly some sheets had gained extra character from my drool. What surprised me the most was that I had a blanket wrapped around my shoulder and right in front of my face was a bento lunch box of some sort.

I was pretty hungry, so I didn't waste anytime opening the bento. I found a couple rolls of kimbap and some kimchi fried rice. After I finished devouring the mystery meal, I found a sticky note on the side of the box. Just as mysterious as the surprise meal was, so was the note.

Meet me in the usual place.
 

I stared at the note for a while. It wasn’t immediate, but I recognized the handwriting after scrutinizing it for about five minutes. It was obviously Taeyeon’s. God, Kim _________, you’re such an idiot. I ducked into the bathroom in an attempt to make myself somewhat presentable. I washed my face and took a swish of mouth wash. Nasty I know, but for now it’ll do. I can’t make Taeyeon wait any longer… who knows how long she’s been waiting for a babo like me. I grabbed my keys and was out the door, heading to Taeyeon and mine’s secret place.

There’s a little hidden park a ways behind Taeyeon’s place. The neighbors are never out there, save for a few halmonis and harabojis in the early morning. It was our safe haven. I parked my car on the side of the road. Judging by the sun, it was late afternoon.

I walked up the dirt path to the hidden bench that we usually sat at to escape the stresses of this crazy idol life we lead on the daily. Taeyeon’s back was facing me and she looked absolutely serene with the view of the city in front of her. I took a deep breath and calmed myself. I prepared myself for the worst, trying to act as natural as possible.

“Hey Tae,” I called from behind her. She turned to face me, I don’t know what it was but something seemed off about her. I felt a little unsettled, “gwaenchanh-a?”

She nodded silently to me, and motioned for me to take the seat next to her. Like a little puppy, I quietly complied with her request. We sat there, looking over the cityscape for who knows how long. At this point, I really didn’t know what Taeyeon wanted to talk about or how this whole situation was going to turn out. There were thoughts in the back of mind trying to consume me, but I held them back cause I didn’t want to muck up things between Taeyeon and I, again.

“What are you going to do without me?” she said suddenly. I gave a puzzled look, then she gestured to my outfit, “You’re wearing the same outfit as yesterday. Hopeless.”

At that point, I was absolutely speechless. Sassy Taeyeon, in this of all scenarios, jincha. Then she hugged me out of the blue and started singing to me.

[Back Hug-SNSD]

Quietly hug me from behind, rest your chin on my shoulder
Not too strong but softly, hug me so I can feel your warmth

Like warm and comfortable clothes, you always cozily embraced me
You suit me better than the nice clothes in the shop window

I hope I can wear you every day and spend all our time together
Even on days I want to lean on your with tears, always
You cover my heart

I lean against your broad chest to read a book or watch a movie
On a peaceful afternoon, when the sun is dazzling, you become my own shade

Like big and beautiful wings, always stick behind me
The ordinary me became an angel in your arms

I hope I can put you on and fly around the sky
Then if I get tired, I can fall asleep under you, always
You cover my heart

The low voice in my ears is sweetly melting me
Should I turn around right now? My heart is pounding so much, I can’t look at you

I hope I can wear you every day and spend all our time together Every day, Oh my love)
Even on days I want to lean on your with tears, always (I’ll be with you, always)

I hope I can put you on and fly around the sky
Then if I get tired, I can fall asleep under you, always
Please cover my heart.

What’s this mean… Tayeon just serenaded me with the song that I wrote for her. I pulled back from the hug and just stared at her dumbfounded.

“What?” Was all I managed to say to her.

“How slow are you?” She said angrily, before smacking me upside the head.

“But yesterday… “ I started, but she cut me off.

“I. Like. You. Sa-ra-ng-hae-yo. Oppa.” She said slowly, looking me in the eyes sternly. “I don’t know how I could be any clearer… If you don’t understand oppa, I have don’t know what to say.”

“Taeyeon…” once again she cut me off and pecked me sweetly on the cheek.

“I don’t want you as a brother or a best friend. I like it when you’re by my side. When I’m the only girl on your mind. You’re mine, don't you ever forget it,” She said almost commandingly. I couldn’t contain myself any longer, I picked her up and hugged her happily. 

Listen to SNSD's Back Hug: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=th8JfcEfgAw