The snow has started falling and yet Donghae's heart is warm inside. His smile is all over his face as he stand there, at the
school gazeebo. The Christmas lights twinkle as the snow continuously fall on Christmas eve. He looks forward to this day. He
looks forward to the day when he can meet Hyukjae again. This time, he'd easily say yes to him. His Eunhyuk who happened to be
that sleek dancer Hyukjae, he doesn't know which name to call him but he knows something very clear to him. He started liking
Eunhyuk during their letter writing but he likes the name Hyukjae more. Right, he'll call him Hyukjae from now on.

Full of hopes to meet Hyukjae for the first time since their letter writing, Donghae didn't mind the cold winter night.
When Hyukjae comes, he knows he'll be warmed by his familiar smile.

He looked at his watch, it's almost Christmas.

Shortly after the school chruch bell rang, Donghae knows its already Christmas. Hyukjae is not here yet. He started coughing.
The coldness of the snowy night must have gotten into him. He felt like choking or something, as if there is something stuck
in his heart. His tears came out of nowhere. Its as if he is feeling a heartache worse than any heartache he has ever felt. His
lips curled down as he freed a sob. 

"Hyukjae ah..."
He looked around still holding his aching heart. The snow has finally stopped. The people around the school gazeebo has
completely gone. Hyukjae has not come. At 3am, he has decided to go home.

*********************************
25 December 2008

Donghae ah

Were we able to meet? Did you see me?
Are we... did you agree to date me?
I really want to know. I hope you did say yes to me.
Because I really want to be with you.
I'd like to warm your heart on 2010 Christmas Eve.
Merry Christmas!

Hyukjae

****************************
Donghae's tears started creeping up right after he read Hyukjae's letter. Why does he have to sound so excited when he didn't
even show up? They have failed themselves again. He has failed himself again. He looked down looking really upset with what
has happened. Why didn't Hyukjae show up? What has gotten into him?

Donghae's tears fell on the table where he rest his arms. He thought they'll be successful this time. He thought he'll be ending
this painful year with a smile. He thought, Hyukjae will warm him during this cold season.But again, despite being so excited,
they still didn't meet. What has happened to Hyukjae?

26 December 2010

Hyukjae

I don't know what happened but I just feel so down already.
You didn't show up.
Maybe we shouldn't really do this anymore.
I, too, had high hopes for us to meet each other and hopefully
be together.
I sincerely like you, Hyukjae ah...
From the time I received your first letter I already like you.
You saved my life and I owe a lot to you.
But maybe its not meant to be.
Maybe were not meant to meet in this time.
Maybe this is what destiny tells us.
Let's stop our craziness and go back to reality.

Donghae

************************
"What?!" Hyukjae said standing up from where he is seated and almost break the table when he read the first line of Donghae's
letter. "What the was I doing?!" he asked himself. He looked up and wondered as well. What could have happened that he
was not able to show up? Donghae must be really disappointed this time. What happened to the future him? What the hell would
make him not come? He wants to smack the future him for ditching Donghae. If he ever discover that the future him did it on
purpose, he swear, he'll break his own neck. He sighed.

Set those aside, the words from Donghae's letter saying that he feels the same way somehow helped to subside the fury he had
for him for not showing up. "Donghae likes me." he's now even more determined to know why the hell didn't he show up.

28 December 2008

Donghae

I'm not going to say there's a mistake.
I know I'm definitely going to see you but I don't know what happened there.
I'm really sorry.
Please don't ask me to wake up, if this a dream
because you are the best thing that happened in my life.
Now that you said you like me as well,
don't give up on me yet. Donghae ah...
maybe destiny really doesn't want us to be together
but it doesn't mean I'll accept it as it is.
Please remember this for always...
If you ever can't find me,
know that I'll be on my way to meet you.
Hang in there, Donghae ah...
I'll make sure I will come to you.

Hyukjae

*************************
"Silly fish!" Sungmin said when he saw Donghae lying on his couch not even preparing for the coming New Year.

"Yah! If you have no intentions of celebrating New Year, at least have the interest of buying me a gift on my birthday!"
he said as he sat beside his dongsaeng. Sungmin sighed and looked at him as if he knows his friend is carrying a big problem.

Donghae's tears fell uncontrollably as Sungmin gently pat his head. His voice that was complaining a while ago has changed
into a sweet one.
"Donghae ah... what's wrong?"

He has read Hyukjae's last letter. He was touched, deeply moved with the promise that he's on his way to find him but the fact
that Donghae is in the present makes him know what will happen before Hyukjae do it. He won't come and they won't see each
other ever.

"Donghae ah..." Sungmin called softly. He lifted Donghae's head and held it close to his chest. "Tell me what is wrong. Hyung
is just here."

Maybe it's not that bad. Maybe he should let Sungmin know what is happening to him. Maybe.

Sungmin spent the whole day listening to Donghae and though he finds it impossible, he at least now quite understand why his
dear friend has become like this. He shook his head and used his index to push Donghae's head.

"If you knew who he was why didn't you find him earlier? Ask him why he didn't show up. Do you actually expect him to come out from
a time space warp whatever from 2008 to 2010? Why don't you just look for him?" Donghae looked at Sungmin. It sounded so easy
but their school is ing big to find one person.

Sungmin shook his head. "Or if not... you should have told me earlier, I could have asked Dongguri about him." he sighed.
"Well at least I am a former President, I have some connections." he took his phone and call.

Donghae waited for Sungmin to finish phoning people when the doorbell rings. He opened the door and saw Kyuhyun.

"Hi!" he said shyly. "Min asked me to fetch him here."

Donghae nodded and let Kyuhyun in. Sungmin looked at him and kissed him in the cheek shortly before keeping his phone.

"Kyuhyun ah... do you still remember Hyukjae?" Sungmin asked straightforwardly, he doesn't remember who Hyukjae is, seriously, he doesn't
ring a bell. Despite Donghae telling him that he participated in the same dance battle as well.

Kyuhyun's hand is in his pocket as he listens, he nodded his head.

Donghae straighten up and looked at Kyuhyun. "Perhaps, do you know where he is?"

Kyuhyun looked at Donghae and wondered why he is anxious to know. "I saw him months ago. He was excited over something before
Christmas of 2010, he said he's going to meet someone special. I haven't heard from him since. I actually asked Shindong Hyung but he said
he just stopped going home, that was the time he called you to stay in their dorm." he said looking at Sungmin. "They all tried calling him but there
was no answer at all."

Donghae looked down and was quite relief with what he heard. At least he knows Hyukjae is sincerely looking forward to their
meeting. But what happened to him. Why did he disappear all of a sudden? Where is he?

"I can ask some of our friends if you want to." Kyuhyun said. Donghae's eyes brightened with what he heard while Sungmin smiled widely and hold his lover's hand.

"Please do that. This fish is dying to know where he is."

*Author's note: alright, I'm quite done ranting and emo-ing
really sorry because of what I said last time. I was quite
disappointed with myself because I can't write this ff nicely.
i'm sorry if i've disappointed all of you :((
anyway, I'm going to finish this ff because i have my pride to
protect chehehehehehe... and i have my subscribers who showed
very much interest in my stories from forewords. thanks for those people who gave
their support. I seriously appreciate it.

Comments and subscriptions are deeply appreciated!^^