I didn’t see Krystal. Or, maybe I didn’t bother to look for her. I found a small stool and sat down, my dress poofing around me.

Today I had practically held myself back from beheading two upcoming SM stars. Since Sehun and Krystal are practically okay now, he was off the hit list. Kris on the other hand…

I tried not to think about it. I didn’t want to think about it. All I wanted was to reverse time and go back to the moment where I had stepped foot on that plane, almost a year ago, so that I wouldn’t be facing any of this right now.

I wasn’t letting Kris off the hook, but at the same time I didn’t want to sue him for practically creating the make-believe relationship we had. I was slumped. I had no idea where I was going, what I wanted, or what I needed.

I thought about it, and I knew where I was going. I was going to watch the show.

What I wanted? To have fun and enjoy it.

What I needed? What do I need?

“Unnie!”

I looked over to see Krystal running over. She was cheery as ever, bright as the sun, unlike she had been that afternoon when I walked into the darkness of her bedroom.

She skipped over and grabbed my hand. “I knew you’d be here,” she said, smiling.

“Where’s Sehun?” I asked.

“Getting ready. They’re up in fifteen.”

Suddenly my stomach was dancing. In fifteen minutes they were about to stand on the stage together, all twelve, and I was the one who was getting nervous.

“Come on,” Krystal said, pulling me up from the stool. “Let’s get to our seats. You should just see the view from there. Unbelievable.”

“We have seats?”

“Yeah, I’ve already checked it out, like, days ago. It’s awesome. Oh, and after the show we’re grabbing a bite, some sort of celebration for the guys. You’re coming, right?”

“I think so,” I said.

“Good,” she grinned, and she began running, pulling me with her. “Now come on. Let’s go, let’s go!”

“W-Wait, just a second,” I said, stopping halfway. “You go ahead. I’ll catch up with you.”

“Don’t be long.”

“I won’t.”

When she was gone I began my search for the bathroom. When I found it, I splashed my face two times, just like the moment when I came to Seoul the first time. It helped calm my uneasy nerves, but it reminded me how I had practically drenched myself that day.

I took in a deep breath and exhaled in front of the mirror. I could feel my heart race. I was actually nervous, but for someone else. I was. At least, I think that was why my heart was racing.

I left the bathroom and looked around. Krystal was probably seated somewhere in the stadium, and I…had no idea where it is. Great. Erika Jung, the brilliant mind, and she actually forgot to ask where the seats were.

I walked around the backstage area, and came across the dressing room. I went inside, hoping to ask one of the guys if they knew where Krystal was, but the room was already empty. They were probably getting ready. I reached out for my phone, ready to give Krystal a call, when it rang.

No. Not my phone. I hadn’t even pressed the call button yet.

I looked around the room. Somewhere, a phone was ringing, and after a while I realized it was coming from under a pile of jackets. I picked up the phone, and the ringing stopped. Jongdae’s phone, maybe. Kai? Or maybe Tao. But Tao was an iPhone user, and I wasn’t sure if this one was an iPhone. They all looked the same. Bu