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inspired by indie band acoustic collabo - photo 

In a relationship, when communication starts to fade, everything else follows.

This just summed up how astray and strained their relationship had resulted to. They both had been super busy and caught up with their school assignments and personal lives that they had neglected each other without realizing. Things would never be the same. A long distance relationship was all about trust.

Hyeri didn’t even know much about her boyfriend because he didn’t mention about his life much to her when they web-cam on Skype or chat via Whatsapp. How long has it been since he had last heard her voice? How long has it been since Myungsoo had last seen her face in reality? He didn’t know but he dreaded for the number to increase.

With his gaze out of his window, he was looking at the dark canvas with a few iridescent stars. Beautiful, he remarked with a woebegone smile. Nights like these are meant to be spent in solitude alone. There were over eight million people in this world and he had a girlfriend; a girl he did truly love but why did he feel so lonely? He had learnt to listen to the silence.

He didn’t want to be alone.

He had never been this depressed before, not even when his parents compared him to other kids for the nth time, not even he quarreled with Hyeri. This time, he was broken apart and void. It seemed like a part of him had died the moment he opened the text.

Let’s break up.

Hours he had spent on the bench staring at the winter sea, he then walked home absent-mindedly, his soul drifting far away. It had started to pour heavily but he couldn’t even feel the heavy lead drops of rain. Numbness took control of his entire body—he was immune to everything except for melancholy.

I want to die, he told himself solemnly and his footsteps came to an abrupt halt. Everything seemed dead and stationary at the moment—the time appeared to cease ticking, his heart appeared to cease beating and love appeared to cease existing. He returned to his room, drenched with neglect and despondency. There was no point of living—with that. he crashed onto his bed damped and drained. But he didn’t care, all he wanted to do was cry.

And cry.

And bleed tears.

But he couldn’t.

It was so difficult to fathom what was happening. It was a strain on the feelings and there was an overwhelming portion of sadness in him. He tossed and turned in his bed, unable to fall asleep because of his train of thought. His sheets now wet because of him, the discomfort started to irritate him. 

A curse escaped from his chapped lips. my life, he whispered. The agony immersed in his blood stream and his mind was a total calamity.

He slipped out of his covers and returned with an album of photographs that he had personally taken. A wave of nostalgia would hit him every time without fail whenever he would reminisce about the past. He knew that he would never be able to rewind time even though he yearned to so badly.

Pause life. Rewind to the past. Stay there for infinity.

Forever.

Turning the pages over, he was met with photographs of Hyeri. Gulping down his tears, he composed himself blankly and continued on with the other pages. He saw photographs of them smiling happily and he longed for those days. Nothing could ever be the same anymore. The way that she used to smile at him—that would never return.

But what was the use of having regrets? What was the use of dwelling in the past? Do something, Kim Myungsoo. Do something to save yourself and her. Wake up to reality, do not dwell. Kim Myungsoo never liked to admit defeat.

There was a pen on the table coincidentally and he felt like writing something morose to mourn. A blue notebook was on his table, it was a gift from Hyeri. God, everything he did reminded him of her. Then, he flipped to a fresh sheet of paper and wrote.  

My heart heavy

Like feathers of a dead stone

My mind far

Like our distant relationship

My walls down

Like an invasion of my insecurities

My love died

Like how my death is marked when you said

Let’s break up

He was no literature boy and he was no poet. His writing was mediocre, it was ironic how he distressed by writing a short drabble. He was just a boy whose walls had crumbled down, his heart feeble and shattered. He was just a boy who was lost and alone. He was just a boy who loved his girlfriend with all his heart. Unfortunately, his heart was flooded with scars and anguish.

He glanced at the rectangular LCD screen and squinted his eyes at those three words. There was no reply to the morose words—he didn’t know what to reply. Should he reply Okay. Why? How? Who are you? Let’s break up too. I agree.

What should he do? He really didn’t know—he decided to just let it be. Then, his eyes flickered to the number. It was a local number. Things were starting to fit each other like jigsaw puzzles; he had only fixed two pieces together.

Did it mean that Hyeri was here?

In New York?

.

If she came, why didn’t she inform him before hand? Why didn’t she mention a word? How come he didn’t know about anything? Was this payback? Karma?

“You’re doing it again. Being so quiet.  You do not tell me about what is happening there.”

No, they haven’t broken up yet. Not officially, just one sided. And that hurt him the most. Hyeri didn’t want to be with him anymore and she didn’t want to be attached to him. It could be possibly because her love for him had faltered during his absence.

He did tell her to wait for him, didn’t he? Was a year too long? He was going back soon! How? How come Hyeri didn’t love him anymore?

He loved her so much…

She would remain in the depths of his heart.

Forever.

❃  

Myungsoo couldn’t have done that—it wasn’t him, that’s for sure. It was impossible for him to try such a move. She couldn’t believe it—her eyes were glued to the screen, staring at the content of it. Those six words are such killer.

He wouldn’t.

He wouldn’t end it just like that—there must have been some misunderstandings somewhere. Maybe he typed it on impulse but he wouldn’t mean it, right? She would never agree to the termination. Never. No. It was difficult for her to fathom the email. She double-checked—it was sent from his email at 4:23pm on Thursday. ? A break up by a ing email