oh i changed the theme from expressing one's self to melancholy! js haaha

There was rarely any contact between Hyeri and Myungsoo since that incident a few days ago. There would be a few messages here and there but they hadn’t webcammed each other after Hyeri blurted out that straightforward statement. Let’s just say it wasn’t a good idea to talk because Myungsoo was the type to remember and hold grudges. There was a stench of awkwardness floating in the aerial air between their two worlds. Thus, they permitted nature to take its own course and they would observe where they would be led to.

Of course, regret indulged into her whole being and she wished repeatedly that she hadn’t mentioned those words and that she should have thought thoroughly before opening her cursed mouth. The look on Myungsoo’s face from her laptop was indescribable – it contained both disappointment and hurt. Guilt was going to eat her alive hadn’t Myungsoo ensure that it was okay.  

“It’s okay – I understand, my photos are not up to standard either,” that was exactly what Myungsoo’s unnerving reply was when Hyeri began to apologize constantly. She felt like taping to prevent from saying anything wrong. For she has never been a good speaker and she knew her words could be hurtful and piercing sometimes, she has always kept silent and reserved to herself. This time, she knew she had gone overboard and definitely too far with her words. It was evident that Myungsoo was really hurt. The guilt was killing her bit by bit.

She wished that Myungsoo was right by her side so she would know what he was going through. There was a strong urge in her that insisted on knowing what his true inner feelings were – whether he had really forgiven her for her bluntness and whether if he was truly disappointed in his own girlfriend. She wished he had told her more about his life in New York.

Something was obviously wrong.

She looked through the pictures again, this time examining them more in depth. But she had difficulty understanding what Myungsoo stood for and the meaning behind each shot. These photographs didn’t fit the theme. She stopped pondering on those photos when she realized something totally off.

Photography was about capturing the moment with the given gadget.

In an instant, she left her seat and reached out for a box on the top of a shelf. M’s photographs – it stated there, written neatly by Myungsoo with a black sharpie. She placed the cover aside and in the box were 2 albums.

The first album was titled ‘First’ – Myungsoo’s first album that was stuffed with random shots before he began being serious about photography. A smile was played on her lips as she flipped the photographs – she missed the silly Myungsoo who would snap every moment of the beginning of their relationship.

The second album was titled ‘Warm Fall’ in which Myungsoo had submitted the album to his professor and earned himself an A+ for it. It was the first time he conducted a photo-shoot in which he had requested his girlfriend to be his first official model. Apparently, he was being a cheesy corn and suggested for this photo-shoot to be sweet and romantic… He wanted his professor to miss being in his youthful stage and he wanted his professor to understand Myungsoo truly and his love for his girlfriend. Sweet, you might say. Myungsoo was sure that the wave of nostalgia would touch every cell of his professor’s heart. There was a twitch in Hyeri’s heart, as if these photos were holding an invisible string connected to her heart and tugging on it. A wave of nostalgia wafted through her nose and her chest tightened with melancholy.

Ironically, that album sent Myungsoo to New York.  

She glanced through Myungsoo’s past taken shots warily with a softened heart. She flipped the photographs over and over, looking back at them again and again. It was obvious that Myungsoo was an excellent photographer. If only she could say that too for his most recent photographs….

She did a slight comparison between his past shots to the recent ones and realized that they were different in many ways. She couldn’t help but admit that his recent photographs were a tad disappointing but she knew he could better. If she had to be true to herself, she would say that Myungsoo had a problem – each shot had no meaning behind it. She chewed on her lower lip in anxiety because it then struck her that Myungsoo was going through a hard time in New York. There was no doubt that his photography skills had dropped to the level where she could only title him as a mediocre photographer the most.

She wished she could help him.

“If only I knew more about what is happening with him…”

She ing hated it when she didn’t know something.

✉ ✉ ✉

Myungsoo stared into space blankly and thought about the happenings of the week. Firstly, he got reprimanded by his professor again for handing up slipshod work.

“I know the theme, melancholy might be a little hard for the students to decipher but you need to challenge yourself and stretch yourself to your fullest potential. Mr Kim, I’ve seen your previous works – they are wonderful and I really hope you would present