I remember how it happened like it happened yesterday. It was a beautiful afternoon and the sky was bright and clear. I could be found seated with a girl on one of the benches surrounding the field. Not a lot of people were there then though it was dismissal time. Anyone who saw us could have had the misconception that we were a couple… anyone who wasn’t aware of my identity, anyway. All the girls in my class looked up to me and all the guys… well if I wasn’t the reason for their girls being theirs, they would have been jealous of me for always being surrounded by girls who only see me as some kind of brother. That no girl could ever see me as more than a brother did not bother me, though. I always knew I didn’t take an interest on girls ever since I was young. I was fifteen then, young and reckless. I tried everything as long as they appealed to me. I was all risk taker and rebellious, but I was kind… kind enough to help a girl relieve her lack of love life.

"Oppa," she leaned closer to me, so close my arm was on her chest. I knew she was well aware of the glances the few people in the area were shooting us and something told me she liked the attention. "This is his picture!" she said excitedly as she shoved her phone to my face.

I pushed her hand away gently to get a clearer look at the photo she showed. "He's handsome, you have such good taste," I lied. The guy she had always been squealing about was anything but handsome. His hair was blonde and spiky – it insulted his edgy face, his smile was ing goofy, and his frame was so skinny he resembled a stick.

She mockingly flashed her tongue at me, "No! He's really ugly!"

I blinked at her in confusion. How could someone think of someone as ugly and blabber nonstop about them? The girl was impossible, seriously!

"But I like him," she looked down, playing with the hems of her mini-skirt, "My friends ask me why I do so all the time. They're all like 'Eww, he's not even good looking at all!' But I like him, I really do. I can't think of a reason why, I just do."

I hoped she knew I felt the same way as her friends.

"Sungmin-oppa!" her head shot back up and she showed me a determined expression, making me jump back a bit, "Will you help me with him?" She held my left hand with her two hands. She was one of those many who did not mind us guys putting our hands on our when we urinate – I once helped a guy get a girl off his shoulders and all it took me was telling her that guys do hold their members when they pee; she never touched a man’s hand ever again.

"Uhm," I took my hand from her grasp and rubbed my nape, laughing awkwardly. It wasn't like it was the first time a girl asked me to do something like this, in fact, almost all non-single girls in class had once come to me for help. It was just that, at the time, I had more important things to do like work, and I didn't even want to do it. I didn't know how that woman even had the guts to ask me to do something she could do herself when she was well aware of how busy I was, but she looked so hopeful I did not have the heart to turn her down. "I guess I could sandwich it between school and work."

She gasped. Her expression brightened as she started dialing brutally on her phone. She clicked the round button and I felt my phone vibrate from inside my pocket. She sent me a message.

"That's his number!" she beamed at me, "His name's Lee Hyukjae."

As for why she felt the need to give me his number, I had the slightest idea.

I stood by the gates of Paekchae Highschool, looking around simply. The students who were passing by shot me curious glances. It felt awkward yet I didn't question them – they were clad in beige sweaters while I was wearing a plain uniform: white polo and black trousers.

The school grounds were bigger than ours, the buildings were taller, the trees were bigger, even the gates were more elegant. I should have entered the school, but it looked really expensive to be in.

A few minutes of standing in one particular spot and someone finally caught my attention. I stared at the boy standing by the other side of the gate for several seconds until realization that he was the man I was looking for dawned up to me. He had the Asian mullet hairstyle which was sort of like a trend at that time – it was so much of a trend even I had my hair done like that, it was brown unlike in the photo his admirer showed me, his expression was blank, and his features were edgy but what caught my attention the most were his round, kissable lips, his frame was as thin as I thought but he was tall enough for a fifteen year old. He just looked so perfect in that puffy beige sweater they called a uniform. I was about to make my way towards him when someone else popped up in front of him. It was a girl. Jaehyuk or Hyukjo or whatever his name was flashed a gummy smile as the girl started talking. I did not quite hear what they were talking about as when I tried to eavesdrop, they started to walk away hand-in-hand.

Looks like someone's got himself a girlfriend, and it was the least of my worries. I shrugged him off and made a mental note to tell his admirer when I see her again.

"Ryeong?" I uttered as I closed the door behind me.

My brother was on his stomach as he slept. I walked towards him and ruffled his hair, "Poor Wookie, must've gotten tired of waiting for me." He could have called me if he had a cellphone. I made another mental note to save for a cellphone for Ryeowook, but with the pressure of getting our rent paid in the way, I don’t think there’s gonna be room for other things. We’ve lived in that apartment for as long as we could remember. It wasn’t anything shabby, far from that, in fact. The apartment was small. It was made up of a single room, a small kitchen, and a bathroom. The furnishings were old and inconsistent and the walls were half-cracked. Ryeowook saw it as something we had to make do with while I saw it as something we were blessed to have.

I walked towards the dining table. Sat there was a plate covered with a table napkin. I smiled. Ryeowook had always been so thoughtful. But before I could even sit and take a bite off of whatever Ryeowook prepared, my phone rang loudly and I felt the urge to sing to DBSK’s Tri-Angle. It was an unregistered number. “Yobseyo?”

“Yobseyo? Is this Lee Sungmin?” the person on the other line was a guy. I could tell despite his slightly prepubescent voice. Giggles could be heard from the other line and all I could do was raise my eyebrows in anything but amusement.

“Yes. Who’s this?”

“Someone asked me to call you!” someone else with another prepubescent voice spoke. This time I couldn’t comprehend whether the person was male or not. It must be some random girl from school prank calling me to get my attention… again.

“Uhm,” I tried to speak as calmly as I could, “I’m sorry. I have things to attend to. If you won’t tell me who you are then I’ll just have to hang up on you.”

“Wait!” the person on the other line squealed so deafeningly I had to pull my phone away from my ear, “Let’s be friends!”

“What?” my voice rose slightly and my thumb made its own move to press the red button, “Creep.”

Suddenly losing my appetite, I grabbed a jacket lying randomly on the couch and headed towards the door.

“Ryeong.” He groaned in response, signaling that he was aware of my presence. “I’m off to work now,” I said as I headed out.

“Sungmin!” the manager called my name from the other side of the employee room. He flicked his finger signaling me to come towards him. I followed as he ordered, trying my best not to stare at his face. He wasn’t one of those café managers we see on TV or in manga, he was not the fat, hairy ahjussi type of manager, he was far from that. He was tall and feminine yet he was handsome. His hair wasn’t dry and curly like an ahjussi’s, it was soft and straight. Yes, he was an ahjussi for he was married, but he looked nothing like one. His perfection was enough for someone to doubt their uality, just like how it did with me. I knew I did not take an interest on girls, but the first time I ever considered myself gay was the moment I set eyes on him. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t love him the way a wife loved a husband, he was merely some sort of schoolboy crush.

“Get that?”

I widened my eyes and stared at his face. I didn’t notice him talking because I zoned out, “Sorry, what was that?”

“Aish,” he rolled his eyes, tilting his head slightly to the side, “You always zone out. Have you been feeling well? Are you eating well?” He made a motion to touch my forehead which I dodged.

“I’m sorry, hyungnim.”

He furrowed his brows slightly, making a worried expression. “I’ll summarize it. There’s gonna be a new kid around. He’ll be working with you, help him. Got it?”

“Yes, okay,” I bowed my head slightly.

The wind chimes above the door made a melody, meaning someone entered the shop. I was about to walk towards the person entering the shop to tell him or her that the café has yet to open when the manager-hyung blocked me with his arm. I looked up at him without him noticing. He walked towards the person who just entered the shop. I eavesdropped on their conversation from the employee room’s doorway. Stood beside the counter was a boy in a school uniform probably my age.

“Hyukjae,” manager-hyung clung his left arm around the boy, his right hand hanging in the air waiting to be shaken.

“Leeteuk-hyung,” he laughed awkwardly as he shook the man’s hand, stealthily freeing himself from his arm. “It’s been a long time,” he looked around the shop, “Looks like business has been going well.”

“Neh,” Leeteuk swung his hand in the air, contrasting what Hyukjae said, “But you’ll help make it better, right?”

Hyukjae smiled a gummy smile at Leeteuk.

“Oh, right,” Leeteuk noticed me creeping by the doorway. He bobbed his head once, “Sungmin.” I could see Hyukjae widen his eyes the moment Leeteuk said my name, but he didn’t look at me; his eyes were fixed at Leeteuk’s face. “Hyukjae, this is Sungmin. He’ll be helping you around here.”

I smiled at Hyukjae, bowing my head slightly, “Nice to meet you.” He nodded, his face still frozen as he kept his eyes on Leeteuk.

“It’s 6:30!” Leeteuk announced, looking at his wristwatch. He clapped his hands and said, “Time to get to work.” With that all the other staff walked out of the employee room and to the back of the counter.

“Just tell me if you need help,” I gently slapped frozen Hyukjae’s shoulder and lined with the other staff behind the counter.

Two hours passed, several customers came and went, Hyukjae did well enough for his first day – minus all the awkwardness affecting his performance. I walked into the employee’s room to change to my casual clothing and get my bag, “I’ll be leaving!” and with that I left for my next jobs.

I looked out the window casually like how I did every morning – that was the disadvantage of placing me at the farthest corner of the room, looking at nothing in particular, and thinking about nothing in particular. “Seonsaeng is coming,” the class president, Yunho, stood up and did his part on leading the greeting. All the other students stopped talking and fooling around and followed Yunho’s motion. “Hana, Dul, Set,” Yunho counted loudly. “Annyeonghaseyo, seonsaengnim,” everyone in class said simultaneously and bowed. I flopped down my chair the moment everyone sat back down, shifting my attention back to the empty scenery out the window.

“Annyeonghaseyo,” an unfamiliar voice could be heard from the opposite side of the room. I was forced to look up at the person who was speaking. No one told us we were having a new teacher. “My name is Lee Sora, I’ll be temporarily replacing Jung Juri-ssi. I’m sure you’re all well aware of her filing a pregnancy leave,” she smiled.

Donghae, who was sitting beside me, leaned towards me and whispered, “She’s pretty.” Judging by the hushes and sighs that could be heard from all over the room, all the other guys thought so as well. I stared at her face, trying to get a better look at her.

My eyes widened, “Isn’t that Hyukjae’s girlfriend?”

“Say what?” Donghae asked in a whisper.

“Nothing,” I kept my wide eyes glued at the seonsaeng standing in front of the class.

“I saw your girlfriend at school earlier,” I tried to open up a conversation with Hyukjae. He kept staring at the wind chimes hung over the door with a pout on his face. He looked bored and I couldn’t blame him. Not much customers come around during these times of the week. “Hello,” I slid beside him, snatching his attention.

Hyukjae tensed up. He drew his head back the moment he saw my smiling face beside his. “Sorry, what?”

I chuckled, still not clear to why he felt so shy around me. “I said I saw your girlfriend earlier.”

“Bwo?” he made a disturbed expression as he stood and stepped back, “Girlfriend?”

I straightened my body as well, looking at him innocently. “Yes, your girlfriend, Lee Hyukjae. I saw her earlier in school. She was pretty. You look good together. Need I tell you anything else?”

Hyukjae stared at me, his expression unchanging. We looked at each other for several seconds, “It’s really good to know that you saw my girlfriend, that you think she’s pretty, and that you think we look good together. I’m flattered, I guess.”

I grinned at him, “You better be careful, though. All the other boys just admire her,” I put emphasis into the second last word.

“But there’s one thing, Sungmin-ssi.”

“What is it?”

Hyukjae touched his bottom lip with his fingers as he looked up at the ceiling, as if trying to remember something “I don’t racall ever having a girlfriend.”

“Really, now?” I smirked as I stepped closer towards him, making him withdraw one step backward, “You can’t lie to me.”

“It’s true, I don’t have a girlfriend,” he looked nervous and tense, surely not because I accused him of having a girlfriend but because the distance between us was dangerously small.

“Really now?” I backed away by one step, putting my hands on my hips, “Then who’s that girl I saw you talking to in fronts of your school gates?”

“Who?”

“Lee Sora!”

Hyukjae stared at me directly in the face with wide eyes, disgust evident in his expression. Dozens of seconds of staring later, his palm met his forehead, “Sungmin-ssi. My name is Lee Hyukjae, she’s Lee Sora, my sister.”

“Please. I’m Lee Sungmin, hello! I have a friend named Lee Donghae, he says hi, too. Oh, Lee Hyukjae, you’re a Lee?” I spread my arms, “Come here, sibling! Give me a big hug!”

His expression turned into a confused one after I finished my sarcasm session. His weird looks made me feel embarrassed. I stood straight and rubbed my nape uncomfortably.

“How did you get the misconception that she was my girlfriend, anyway?” he asked, “And why were you watching us at the gates of my school?”

I widened my eyes. Then and there I just wanted the ground to eat me alive and lead me nowhere. As if I didn’t embarrass myself enough.

“Were you stalking me?” he brought his face closer to mine, his eyes half-lidded in a glare, “Were you stalking me, Lee Sungmin-ssi?”

I looked away, feeling the warmth well up my cheeks, “Someone asked me to do so!”

“So you did?” his expression softened. He increased the distance between our faces, making me feel slightly more comfortable, it was as if there was some invisible chain he tied my face with, “You just let them lead you around like that?”

“It was a girl, I couldn’t turn her down.”

“A girl likes me?” he wrinkled his nose, making a disgusted look, “Seriously?”

“You don’t like girls?”

“No.”

“Oh,” I uttered. We stayed there in silence, looking at each other’s faces without a thought coming to neither mind nor a word coming out of any of our mouths.

Hyukjae finally decided to speak to break the silence, “You must be really nice. Helping a girl like that."

I looked up at him quizzically. The guy did not know how to open a conversation, "I must be."

"Hyung," Ryeowook peeped his head into our bedroom, holding the doorknob, "Dinner's ready."

"I'll eat later," I dismissed him without even looking. All my attention was on the impossible Math equation lying in front of me.

"Hyungie," he flopped onto the empty space beside me, making the mattress wave a little, "Rest easier."

"I'm afraid I don't have any time for that."

"You're getting-"

"Aish!" I yelled before Ryeowook could even finish his sentence, ruffling my hair vigorously. I didn't fail to notice him jump back frightfully, "Sorry. I was complaining about my homework, not you." I smiled, "You can go eat now if you like."

And he did.

I grabbed my phone from the topmost side of the bed and calculated everything that needed to be succesfully. "I should have done this earlier," I laughed maniacally. I then noticed the envelope icon at the topmost corner of the screen, meaning I had unread messages. With that I opened my inbox, "Oh, Hyukjae's number." I opened the message from his admirer which contained Hyukjae's number. For some reason, the number looked deadfully familiar. I widened my eyes when realization dawned up to me as I impatiently checked my Call Log.

"So you like prank calls, huh?" I sat beside Hyukjae in the employees' room.

He looked at me, confusion evident in his expression. After a few seconds of staring at me like that, he flushed and looked away.

"You didn't look like that type of person at all," I teasingly stared directly into his eyes, making him redden even more.

"Just that... well," he stammered, "A friend and I were bored so we... uhm, dialled a random number."

"But you knew my name," I raised my eyebrow, mocking his failed attempt to lie to me.

He widened his eyes and looked up, probably trying to come out of more false alibis, "You know. You didn't answer the first time we called, so, uhm... There was this voice. It was like 'Hi, it's Lee Sungmin, please leave a message after the tone.'"

I looked at him quizzically, what he said was unlikely but it was possible. "I'll believe you, for now."

He nodded nervously.

"But you have to make up for it," I teased, "Treat me to lunch!"

"What?" he fluttered, "I'm broke."

"We get payed today."

Hyukjae scratched his nape in irritation, "You stalked me, too!"

"Yeah, but you didn't even know I was around then. So that wasn't much of a bother."

"Aish, fine!"

We went to a local ramen eatery down the street. I didn't really expect him to take me to anywhere fancy but I was sure he could've payed for at least a small fast food chain. He just earned, after all.

"You don't eat in places like this?" he asked as if he would take me somewhere else if I said no.

"I do," I said simply, pulling a chair from under the counter and sitting on it casually, "I'll have kimchi ramyun."

A skinny man walked towards us right after I said that. "New boyfriend, Hyukjae?" he winked.

"I wish," Hyukjae answered, winking back, "Just kidding!"

I pretended not to hear them as I said, "I'm hungry, can you please order now?"

Hyukjae and the man leaning on the wooden counter both laughed at me. It was embarrassing, but my face stayed still as I tried to conceal my embarrassment. "Two kimchi ramyun, coming up!" the ahjussi walked away from us.

"I usually order kimchi ramyun," Hyukjae grinned. For some reason, that gummy grin of his made me smile unknowingly.

"So," I opened up a conversation, "Since we're both uninterested in girls and eating at one place having only one of us pay, is it safe to say that we're on a date?"

Hyukjae gawked at me at what I said. I wasn't sure of what part of what I said surprised him - not that there was nothing to be surprised at, just that there were a lot of words I delivered that should get him off guard and I wasn't sure what it was.

"Is it not?" I asked playfully.

Hyukjae's surprised expression turned into a bright one as he went with the flirtation flow. "Ok then. Since we're on a date, tell me about yourself," he winked.

"Me?" I let out a flirtatious giggle, "There's so many things! Uhm, let's start with... well my name's Sungmin, I'm fifteen, I study in Neul Paran, and I like pink." I leaned closer to him and winked, "What about you, handsome?"

It was his turn to laugh as he pushed me back gently, "Stop flirting with me, I feel silly. And we're in an eatery, gee dee ai, not some kind of sleazy bar."

I straightened my upper body, keeping a comfortable distance between us as I laughed sincerely. "Seriously, though. You're handsome, and you should introduce yourself."

"Well," he scratched his head, probably thinking about where he should start. I don't blame him. Since when was introduction easy, anyway? "I'm Lee Hyukjae, I'm fifteen. I like dancing, candy, anime, and the color grey. I sing a lot, too, but I'm really bad at it."

I widen my eyes in enthusiasm, "I like anime, too! What series do you watch?"

"One Piece and Bleach," he smiled, as enthusiastic as I was.

"I love Bleach!"

"Really?" his smile widened, "Who's your favorite character?"

"Byakuya, I like guys with red hair. What about you?"

"Rukia. She's the only girl I'd date," with that we both laughed and our conversation kept going. Since then, we became really attached to each other. I felt exceptionally safe around him, came with it was another feeling I couldn't explain. All that was on my mind every time I spoke to him was, 'Wow, we're really compatible.'

And I was right.

One day, he walked into the cafe like how he normally did. The only difference was he turned my head to his direction and it stayed there. We were the only ones there then. Something changed about him, it was his hair, he dyed it scarlet and got it permed. It was just the hair, he was still clad in school uniform like usual, but his appearance changed entirely. He got… hotter. "Like it?"

"Digging the look," and I wasn't lying.

"I did it all for you," he winked that signature wink of his, this time, it made me want to melt. Or maybe I did melt.

"Oh," was all that came out of my mouth. There were more things I wanted to say, 'thank you,' 'that's so sweet,' but right then all I was able to say was 'oh.'

"Sungminnie," I didn't know since when or how he had started calling me Sungminnie, he just did and I didn't mind at all. He even allowed me to call him Eunhyuk some time in our four months of knowing each other. "Will you be my boyfriend?"

I fell - literally - backwards from the small bench I was sitting on. I sat back up when I felt a realistic pang down my spine, "Wha-what?" I stammered.

"Will you be my boyfriend?" he looked down at his feet, "If you don't wanna, it's fine with me."

I've always known I was gay, but I never felt it until now. He made me feel comfortable and confident with myself, and I thought it was about time I give him a reward. I stood up from my complicated position, using the bench I fell from as a support. Once I had reached the level of his face, I cupped his chin and brought his face to mine, our lips touching gently. He widened his eyes, staring all flabbergasted at my closed ones.

I moved my face away from his after a few seconds. A smile was on my face and he stared stupidly at the blankness behind me. I poked his cheek.

"Let's do that again," he said, keeping his dumbfounded expression on.

I pulled his collar and crashed our lips together, leaving my mouth opened for his tongue to enter. I did as he requested, only this time, it was hotter.

We had been dating for a year and still going strong. We made love several times, fought several more times, and either laughed or cried which each other the other times. Nobody knew about our relationship, not that we kept it secret, just that we didn't feel the need to tell anyone else. His admirer was also kicked out of the picture and left with the idea that he was interested in someone else.

It was our first year anniversary then. We were supposed to celebrate it in the cafe we met in along with his sister's birthday, we also planned on telling his sister about our relationship that day. I promised Eunhyuk an unforgettable time, and I was willing to keep my promise. It was a weekend and the cafe was closed, but I had full access to it since Leeteuk-hyung handed me keys in case of emergencies - which come up ALL THE TIME. I had been waiting for an hour in the dark - I planned on surprising them come-out-of-the-dark method - and the only thing keeping me company was a round strawberry cake with the writing, "HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!" I waited patiently for him, resisting calling him. 'He's preparing something special for me," I kept telling myself with a plastered smile. My phone vibrated, I received a message. I took it excitedly from the table, expecting it to be Eunhyuk... and I was right, it was him.

"I'm sorry, I can't make it."

I felt like crying, not even trying to understand him anymore. I vigorously pressed the call button and brought the phone up to my ear. "Eunhyukkie," I refrained a yell as I shakily spoke calmly at the phone the moment it stopped beeping, "What's the matter with you? It's our anniversary."

"Listen, Sungmin," his voice was unusually cold and heavy, it scared me as much as I found him calling me by just my name weird, "I don't think this is working out for the two of us."

I widened my eyes and my hands started to shake, "What are you saying?"

"Sungmin," his voice grew colder, "Let's break up. It's tiring."

There was a moment of silence between the two lines.

"I just don't think I love you anymore. I'm sorry. I hope you move on fast. I'm sure you'll find someone else better than me," he sighed, "Bye." And with that he hung up.

It had been a minute since our conversation ended, but I was still in the same position. I shuddered, my grip on my phone tightening. "But you're the only one for me," I uttered with a shaky voice. Realizing there was nothing I could do, I shielded my eyes with my palms and started crying strongly, each sob and wheeze echoing around the room. I was miserable, helpless, and crestfallen. All thanks to Lee Hyukjae. I stayed there the whole day, crying alone in the dark with merely a strawberry cake as company.