“Kyuhyun-ssi,” Sungmin continued calling him, his voice turning softer and weaker.

Kyuhyun just stood there frozen. Nobody could tell whether he solely did not know what to do or, judging by his personality, he was devastated by the fact that Sungmin indeed soiled his beloved cream colored carpets with his blood.

“Kyu… hyun... ssi,” it could easily be told by Sungmin’s tone that he fought hard to get the words out of his tightening throat. He shakily stretched his arm towards Kyuhyun’s direction with all the strength he had left, his other hand gripping his own shirt. “This is your entire fault,” he whispered yet Kyuhyun heard him clearly.

“S-Sungmin,” Kyuhyun managed to stammer, yet he did not do anything. He stood still, his eyes wide and his mouth opened slightly. The look on his face and shaking of his hands made the rate of his heart’s beating obvious.

“Aish, Kyuhyun-ssi,” Sungmin threw his head up to look at trembling Kyuhyun. He showed a rather angry look, his voice was back to normal, “You should get off now. I really need to go back to SM building.”

“W-what?” Kyuhyun blinked in confusion.

The boy who was fighting for his life just a few seconds ago stood up, the struggling expression on his face replaced with a somewhat annoyed one, “Kyuhyun-ssi, I understand that you’re not feeling well and all. But please be considerate of the job I can lose anytime,” he patted Kyuhyun’s cheek softly. “The boss is going to kill me!” He was flailing like a kid.

Kyuhyun opened his eyes to a man wearing vintage shades shaking him by the shoulder.

“Jiho?” he looked around. Outside the window was the building he lived in.

The man named Jiho sighed either of relief or irritation, “Can you get up on your own?”

“Of course,” Kyuhyun unbuckled his seatbelt, “I’m really sorry, Choi Jiho-ssi. And thanks.” He stepped out of the car and shut its door. He watched as the driver hurriedly stepped on it and went off. “What a weird dream.”

&&

“Over there,” Sungmin pointed at a building just a few meters away from the classy car he was in.

“That building over there” Siwon pointed exactly at the edifice Sungmin was talking about. It wasn’t because he looked at Sungmin when he pointed it, neither was it because it was the flashiest among the other buildings juxtaposing it. Noticing Sungmin nod once from the corner of his eye, he drove towards it and came to a full stop beside its gate.

Sungmin got off the car and bowed forty degrees towards Siwon and said, “Thank you.” He was about to shut the door closed when he heard Siwon speak.

“Would you happen to know,” Siwon hesitated to continue his sentence, earning a curious stare from Sungmin, “Never mind. Oh. Don’t close the door too vigorously, I just borrowed this car… and take care.”

Sungmin nodded with a smile and closed the door as carefully as he could, making Siwon laugh slightly at his childishness.

He rang the doorbell for the tenth time. “Aren’t those lovebirds home yet? It’s two ing thirty!” He kicked the door in annoyance. His eyes widened when a thought suddenly poked his slightly rotting brain, “Maybe they’re worn out from…” He shook his head, thinking that he shouldn’t even be picturing things like those.

As if on cue, the door opened and revealed a wasted Yesung. His hair was undone, he was half-, and the look on his face could have had scared buffalos away, he was a mess. ‘A hot one,’ Sungmin thought, ‘Maybe he really is tired from… yeah.’

Sungmin tried to prevent a gasp from escaping his throat and the red tint on his face from showing by bowing his head, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. I thought there was… I’m really sorry. I understand if you…”

“Ryeowook’s not here,” Yesung said, his voice dark and huskier than ever.

Sungmin blinked a few times, trying to contemplate what Yesung just said. He straightened his body to level Yesung’s face, “Where is he?”

Yesung shrugged.

“Oh,” Sungmin felt stupid for a reason he didn’t know. “I’m sorry,” he turned around by one foot and started to walk away, thinking about where he should go find Ryeowook.

“Sungmin,” Yesung’s voice rose slightly, but it was still dark and husky; it sent shivers down Sungmin’s spine.

Sungmin turned around to face Yesung who was about the latter’s height away from him, “Yes?”

“Stay.”

&&

Kyuhyun fumbled with his keys. He was surprised that it didn’t make a clicking sound as he expected. And he remembered locking the door before leaving. He widened his eyes thinking maybe his dream wasn’t a dream after all. He threw the door open and dragged one foot in, “Sungmin!” he yelled.

Ryeowook gasped, jumping slightly from the couch he was sitting peacefully on.

“Wookie?” Kyuhyun blinked. He hid his face under his shirt, faking a cough to hide a blush of embarrassment, “What are you doing here?” He then noticed that the lights weren’t on and the room was dimly lit by the light seeping in from the closed curtains, “Why didn’t you turn the lights off? Or at least draw the curtains open.” He closed the door and drew the curtains open.

“Kyuhyun,” said boy didn’t fail to notice the speaker’s puffy eyes and his less than happy expression, “Can I crash here?”

Kyuhyun widened his eyes. He sat beside Ryeowook and cupped the latter’s face and examined it, “Why? What happened? Did you have a fight with Yesung? Did he hurt you?”

The smaller boy brushed his dongsaeng’s hands away gently as he laughed halfheartedly, “Kyu, if you don’t want to, just say so.”

“What?” Kyuhyun flailed defensively, “It’s not like that!”

“Then can I?” Ryeowook smiled. His smile was so heartwarming yet the evident pain in his eyes could break even the most heartless of heartless’ err… heart.

“Sure, but,” Kyuhyun looked away from Ryeowook, feeling awkward about what he wanted to say. “What about,” he faked a cough, “Your brother?” and another fake cough.

“He’ll be fine with Yesung. If not, he’ll come here,” Ryeowook smiled, looking straight into Kyuhyun’s eyes.

Kyuhyun didn’t fail to notice how Ryeowook had changed since he started living with Yesung, but if anything, his way of thinking that life is easy and Sungmin can make do with whatever and stay with whoever hasn’t changed.

“And besides, you shouldn’t even be worrying about him,” Ryeowook stated, a smirk forming on his lips, “Or unless… Kyuhyun, did you take your fake relationship to the next level?”

&&

“I guess I was too harsh. My words hurt him too much,” Sungmin kept listening to Yesung. He was the only boring storyteller Sungmin was willing to listen to… probably because he was hot. He cringed at the feeling of an invisible hand slapping him for thinking about such naughty things while his object of naughty thoughts was in crisis. “I don’t know… but the anger I felt after seeing him again got the best of me and I ended up pouring it out to Ryeowook.”

Sungmin blinked, something about what Yesung said intrigued him.

Yesung smiled bitterly, “You’re not getting me at all, are you?” He stood up; tossing the pillow he had been hugging to the couch. “It’s okay. You don’t have to listen to me anymore. You can leave, or you can sleep here. Do whatever’s convenient with you.”

“Who’s he, your ex-boyfriend?” Sungmin blurted out unexpectedly. Then and there he begged the flooring to just eat him up.

Yesung blinked at him and sat back down. The misery in his face seemed to disappear for a few seconds as he tried to understand Sungmin’s question. When he finally did, he wrinkled his nose, obviously disgusted. “My dad, I hate him.”

“Why?” Sungmin mentally slapped himself for speaking his mind out again.

The older man noticed by his lover’s brother’s expression that he was mentally thinking of a way to dig an escape route. He chuckled and his expression softened. “He’s not exactly my father. Not my biological father, anyway. My mother married him two years after dad died when I was nine,” he paused, hesitating to state the other things but he did, anyway, “Not only that, he hurt me and Jongjin physically behind my mom’s back… until I turned thirteen, anyway. He stopped then but he never saw us as more than obligations in the form of humans.”

‘You’re not a very good storyteller. I didn’t understand a thing!’ Sungmin’s mind screamed. He was relieved that he did not blurt it out. “You hurt Ryeowook, you should apologize.”

“But I didn’t do it on purpose.”

“You still did it,” this time, Sungmin was speaking his mind out without a hint of hesitation, “If you really are sorry like you claim to be, you’ll apologize to him.”

Yesung didn’t utter a word even when Sungmin stopped talking. They only looked at each other straight in the eyes, no burning passion, no butterflies in the stomach, just a plain staring contest. Yesung was the first to look away and Sungmin followed, blushing.

“I should probably go now,” Yesung stood up and walked towards his bedroom.

“To dreamland?”

“Nope. To work.”

“But it’s Sunday,” Sungmin looked up at Yesung. He was no longer feeling shy around the latter now that he had seen his softer side, “There’s nobody at school during Sundays.”

Yesung chuckled, “Who ever said my only job was as a school nurse?”

&&

Eunhyuk stared at his phone. He had promised to sleep again after crying, but no, he stayed awake, waiting for another call from Donghae. He had sighed countless times that he would have become a millionaire if he was paid a dime for each time he did.

He kept thinking of how he should have just swallowed his pride and forgave Donghae while he was still there. He was regretting it and he hated it. It was his fault and he did not even try to convince himself that it wasn’t because it honestly was. The boy was there kissing his and all but he just had to go all Ms. Independent in front of him then break down when he’s gone. “How long could I keep this going?” he once asked himself in one of his crying-over-not-forgiving-Donghae sessions. Well, the answer was now crystal clear and he couldn’t keep it going anymore because Donghae wasn’t going to apologize anymore. Rejecting Donghae hurt him probably a thousand times more than it hurt the former. He loved the guy and he knew it, but he just had to lie to his lover and himself. He thought that, maybe if he kept telling himself that he didn’t feel anything for the man anymore, he would adjust to it and stop loving him. He was wrong.

Then he sighed again, unlocking his iPhone 4 and locking it again. He noticed the time at the topmost corner of the phone’s screen. It was already three o’clock. “Damn, it’s been that long?” he sat up into an Indian seating position. He let out another sigh. “Maybe I should go to work to pass the time,” he looked out the window and sighed, “Yeah, I probably should.”

He walked into the mall clad in a white shirt, black skinnies, Supras, and a plaid scarf and sunglasses to top it off – his typical airport fashion. Sure, he said work, but since he started working for the department store, he started seeing going to the mall it was located in as “work”. ‘There are unusually a lot of people during the weekends,’ he thought as his eyes followed a couple walking past him. They had their arms locked, and they looked really sweet. The girl pointed out one specific shop and she, along with her boyfriend, walked into the shop with smiles on their faces. ‘Why have we never tried that?’ he laughed at himself for feeling envious of a straight couple. He put his hands in his pockets and walked into a music store where he saw someone familiar.

“Jongwoonie?” he asked, looking at the man checking out the CDs in the Rock & Pop section. He wasn’t sure whether it was who he thought it was since he was wearing shades and it was his first time seeing the guy in normal clothing: black flared turtleneck and jeans.

The guy looked up and that was when he was assured that he was indeed who he thought he was.

“Jongwoonie!” Eunhyuk smiled, sliding beside Jongwoonie.

“Hi,” “Jongwoonie” said dully, not even smiling, “Who are you again?”

“I’m Eunhyuk!” Eunhyuk flailed his arms in the air, “Your co-worker?”

“Oh, right,” Jongwoonie took off his shades and smiled at Eunhyuk. It was the first time ever that Eunhyuk had seen him smile, and it was a fake one, “You can call me Yesung. I find it slightly awkward when people call me Jongwoon…ie.”

“Okay, can I call you ‘hyung’ then?” Eunhyuk grinned.

“Uh,” Yesung looked away from Eunhyuk, rubbing the back of his head, “Sure. I guess you can do that.” He tried to change the topic, “So what brings you here? And why are you wearing shades?”

Eunhyuk blinked, which Yesung wasn’t able to see because his eyes were concealed by his sunglasses. “Oh, nothing, sore eyes,” even though his vision was grayscale due to the tinted specs he had on, he didn’t fail to notice Yesung’s equally puffy eyes, “You were wearing shades yourself. I guess you got the infection, too?”

Yesung laughed awkwardly, still not taking his hand off the back of his head, “Yeah… uhm… sore eyes. It must be an epidemic. I mean… someone from work must’ve spread it. Hehe.”

The younger man laughed awkwardly as well. They stood there in awkward silence for a good while. He noticed the change in Yesung’s actions and Yesung did towards him, too. Yesung was usually this snarky guy who didn’t give a about you and Eunhyuk was like this cocky kid matured adults like Yesung didn’t like. But as of now they were just two people in the world. They were acting friendly and they found it peculiar, but had no heart to question it since they both knew they themselves were acting differently.

“Yesung-hyung,” Eunhyuk broke the awkward silence.

Yesung, who was looking at his shoes, snapped his head to look at the shorter male. “Yeah?”

“We need a drink.”

&&

Kyuhyun watched Ryeowook as he expertly put all the ingredients into the saucepan in silence. He had been avoiding all topics the latter tried to open since he found out that he knew about their fake relationship.

“Kyuhyun,” Ryeowook sat on one of the chairs lining the dining table so that he was aligned to Kyuhyun.

Kyuhyun looked up, “Yeah?”

“Why are you so silent?” he stared at Kyuhyun so intensely his eyes practically bore into the boy’s, “Are you sick? Omo, you look really pale!”

The younger boy pshhed, “Seriously, hyung! Just because you’re tan doesn’t give you the right to make fun of me for being pale!”

“Aigoo,” Ryeowook put his tongue out teasingly, “Just because you’re tall doesn’t give you the right to tease me for being short either.” He smirked.

Kyuhyun sank to his chair. For the first time in his life, he was guilty. No, make that second time. Dreams are parts of life, too.

“I was just kidding, Kyu!” Ryeowook laughed at his dongsaeng’s reaction and Kyuhyun laughed as well. Their laughter grew until they were practically guffawing and hammering the table. None of them knew why they were laughing; all they knew was that they missed being together like that: laughing their asses off without a reason. For some reason, ever since they developed their own love lives, they were distanced and they only noticed now.

Their laughter got softer as they were running out of breath.

“Let’s stop,” Ryeowook clenched his stomach, still giggling, “My stomach hurts.”

“Yeah, mine too,” Kyuhyun was giggling as well. He put his head on the table and he rested there, panting.

“Kyuhyun,” the older boy’s tone transformed into a serious one, “You should take good care of hyung. He’s not in good shape, you know.”

Kyuhyun blinked, “I know.”

“As much as I’d like to deny it,” Ryeowook looked down, sorrow evident in his eyes, “He might not live a lot longer… I mean, the last time he had a checkup, the doctor said it would be a miracle for him to reach twenty. And… Kyuhyun, he’s turning nineteen.”

Kyuhyun’s lips parted slightly. He wanted to cry at the thought of Sungmin dying, but crying was just not him. He kept listening to Ryeowook instead.

“Despite his health, despite all he’s going through, he continues to work for me. I don’t even know what I’m going to do when he’s gone. I mean… I can’t rely on Yesung forever, can I? I can’t keep relying on you, either,” Ryeowook’s voice became shaky as tears started to dribble down his cheeks, “He kept it secret, but I knew he worked as a e. It’s gotta be one of the toughest jobs in the world, if it isn’t already the most. But hyung was able to endure it all for me. I wanted to tell him to just stop, rest. I wanted to tell him that I was okay. I wanted to tell him that I want to work, too. But as sweet as I may seem, I’m not open with my feelings towards hyung. So I thought… that I should just keep letting him do what he wanted to do, he’ll stop when he feels like it.”

The other boy kept his face down, he was in tears and as much as he wanted to hide it, his shaky voice showed it all. “H-how could you?” he muttered unsteadily, his dark face concealed from Ryeowook, “You should have stopped him!” he yelled.

Ryeowook widened his eyes, he almost jumped. It was the first time in his four years of knowing Kyuhyun had the boy ever yelled at him. It was scary, but he knew he deserved it.

Kyuhyun couldn’t hide it anymore. He stood up from his chair and looked at Ryeowook straight in the eyes, his expression pained. “Ryeowook, you should have told him that you didn’t want to see him like that. It could have helped!”

“I-I know I was wrong,” Ryeowook uttered in between his sobs, “And I’m mad at ma-myself for it, okay?”

Kyuhyun’s silent crying turned into wheezing as he collapsed to the chair. He hid his face in his palms and he cried loudly, his loud sobs in rhythm with Ryeowook’s equally loud snivels.

&&

“He’s mad at me and like that,” Yesung said tipsily as he dangled the tiny glass between his index finger and his thumb, “He left. I don’t have the right to live anymore.”

For some reason, Eunhyuk was still sober, “Don’t say that.”

“It’s the truth!” Yesung laughed, losing all sanity, “He hates me. It’s entirely my fault. I should die!”

“Aish, hyung,” Eunhyuk stared at the empty bottle of tequila. He had only one big bottle and Yesung drank it all, “I could have been as drunk as you right now and complaining about my equally ty love life if only you didn’t drink all of those.” He grabbed the small glass from Yesung’s hand, “This glass is here for a reason, you see. You need salt before you drink the shot, then after that, you squeeze lemon onto your tongue. You don’t drink tequila straight from the bottle! Who the hell does that?”

Yesung smiled at Eunhyuk, “Cool story bro.” And that’s when he fell backwards and dozed into sleep.

“What am I supposed to do with you?” Eunhyuk uttered with his face in his palm. He had the feeling that Junsu would be less than amused to find an unknown, drunk man in his home. He pulled Yesung’s Louis Vuitton wallet from his back pocket and opened it. He refrained from laughing when he saw the man’s ID picture. “I sure hope this address is accurate.”

Thank goodness it was.

Eunhyuk clung Yesung’s arm around his neck as they walked out of the cab. He went into the building which was standing out among the others and into the elevator. “Damn. Which floor does this man live in?” he whined again. He told himself that asking his neighbors was the only way. Sure, they would give him weird looks and question him why he was with the drunk man at nine in the evening, but it was the only thing he could do if he wanted to get him off his shoulder and he did.

“Ahjumma, do you know where this guy lives?”

The said ahjumma did give him a questioning look, but he did get the answer he wanted. “He’s Kim Jongwoon, isn’t he? He lives at the highest part of this building, just a door away from the elevator.”

“Thanks,” and he went there. The elevator walls were shiny and golden, it was Victorian, but he was way too panicky to even be bothered to be amazed. He walked out of the elevator and found exactly where Yesung lived in. He knew it was the right house since there was a sticker of Neul Paran on its door. He rang the doorbell. He felt stupid remembering what Yesung said about his boyfriend leaving his home. “Aish, where are your keys?” he started feeling Yesung’s pockets for his keys.

But it seemed that he didn’t need to look for it at all since he heard the doorknob click slightly. He sighed in relief. The door opened, revealing a face which was dreadfully – almost painfully – familiar. “Annyeong-” the boy behind the door greeted and was cut the moment he looked up at the person who knocked.

“Sungmin…”

They sat on the bench placed in Yesung’s porch right after they placed said man in bed. They sat there in silence, the breeze cutting through their skins. None of them uttered a word to each other. It was awkward, Eunhyuk didn’t like awkward things.

“So,” Eunhyuk started, he looked at his ex-lover. He was as beautiful as ever, “How’ve you been?”

“Me?” Sungmin didn’t look at Eunhyuk. He smiled bitterly, his gaze fixed on the city lights creeping through the porch’s metal hurdles, “Oh, I’ve been fine. What about you?”

“I guess I’m okay,” he looked away, his eyes landing on nothing, he just looked away, “How’s your health.”

“Puked around five times today,” Sungmin widened his eyes right after he said that and then he laughed, “Why am I telling you this? It’s not like you care, anyway.”

Eunhyuk furrowed his brows; he was worried, “What? I wouldn’t even bother asking if I didn’t care. What happened to you?”

“It’s nothing,” Sungmin finally looked at Eunhyuk; he was forcing a smile, “And if you really did care you wouldn’t have left me there. You know, in that café, on our first anniversary.”

“Aish!” Eunhyuk whined, “Are you still not over it?”

Sungmin stood up, knocking the bench down and making Eunhyuk stand up as well, “Over it? Over it? Seriously?” His tone rose into an angry one and though the scene was dimly lit by faded lights, the anger in his eyes was evident, “Eunhyuk, you left me without closure on our first anniversary! You expect me to ever get over it? What the hell! You disappeared suddenly and just when I thought I had forgotten about you, you came back! What is wrong with you? I’m ing human too!” he was stomping his foot like he usually did when he was mad.

“Sungmin,” Eunhyuk said loudly as he held Sungmin by the shoulders, trying to calm him down. But it gave the opposite effect.

Sungmin shoved Eunhyuk’s arms away. For some reason, he started crying “Do you know how much I cried for you that day? Slash that… do you know how much I cried for you ever since that day? Did you even think about it? Did you even think about how hurt I would be before you did it? You said you loved me but did you even care at all? What the do you take me for?”

“Sungmin, I’m sorry.”

“Do you honestly think one simple sorry can erase all the hurt you made me feel all these years? I had been mourning over your loss for years and even until now the impact you had left in me hasn’t disappeared!”

“Sungmin,” Eunhyuk took Sungmin into his arms. He knew the latter would struggle and he did, but he did not let go, “Sungmin, I loved you. You knew that. I did a lot of thinking before I left you, Sungmin. And when I did, I almost killed myself for it.” 

Sungmin stopped moving about in Eunhyuk’s arms. He stayed still aside from the tremor of his chest due to strong sobbing. He stayed there, crying like a child against the nook of Eunhyuk’s neck.

“It’s because I found someone who needed me more. Not that I loved that person more, but he needed me more,” Eunhyuk let go of Sungmin. He looked directly at his face, their eyes boring into one another’s, “My sister died that day… and the lover she left, he even threatened to kill himself and I knew I needed to be beside him to keep that from happening. That’s why I left you.”

“Is that person,” Sungmin’s eyes widened, he stopped crying, “Donghae?”

Eunhyuk nodded, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I did it so you wouldn’t think about it too much. It seems the effect was the opposite.”

They both calmed down… Sungmin did, anyway – Eunhyuk had always been calm.

“So how’s your relationship going on so far?” Sungmin asked suddenly. His eyes were still puffy, but the tremor in his voice had completely disappeared.

“Not good,” Eunhyuk sighed.

“It’s so weird to think that you were the man in our relationship.”

They both laughed heartily at Sungmin’s statement.

“So do you forgive me now?” Eunhyuk smiled, yet he was not at all assured.

“Well… your reason was not at all valid, but,” Sungmin didn’t smile, he didn’t frown either. That was a good sign, “It’s for Hae, anyway. And, well, I do love that fishy. So I guess it’s okay. And besides, we’re happy with our lives now” He wasn’t so sure about his last statement.

Eunhyuk took Sungmin into his arms – much to the latter’s surprise. “It’s so good to see you again,” he stated wholeheartedly. He did miss his ex-boyfriend, not that he still loved him. He just missed him.

“Don’t hurt Donghae,” Sungmin said the moment Eunhyuk let go of him.

The younger boy looked down, “I’m afraid I already have.”

Sungmin knew exactly what he was talking about. He slapped his ex-lover’s back a little too vigorously, making him cringe visibly, “Then, what are you waiting for? Go find him and apologize to him!”

Eunhyuk looked at Sungmin with wide eyes, “You really think I should?”

“If you really do love a person, you’ll swallow your pride and apologize to him even when you know that it’s not your fault,” Sungmin grinned. It had been a long time since he flashed a grin for Eunhyuk, “If he doesn’t accept, I got your back!” He winked.

Eunhyuk nodded vigorously and headed out the door. A bucket of hope suddenly poured into him.

The boy left in the house sighed. He smiled bitterly, “It’s so easy to tell others to apologize when I can’t even get myself together.”