A/N : in case you haven't noticed, this story is also being crossposted on ao3! feel free to go there if u prefer there better :D

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Monochromatic Hearts

 

 

“Kim Kai snatches first win on W!Countdown with ‘BODY’"

[Photo] [Photo]

[Photo] [Photo]

Source : Daily Entertainment via Naber

1.[+1,532 -176] Congratulations on your first win, Kim Kai! 

2. [+843, -140] The choreo is so y, ... 

3. [+362, -210] Is the cameraman drunk or something… terrible camerawork. Congrats though!

4. [+150, -187] He’s only going up against some nugus. Of course it’s easy for him to win. 

5. [+128, -104] He’s robbing an empty house, though… 

 

-

Kyungsoo's in a good mood.

 

He didn't wake up nauseous, he had a proper breakfast that thankfully still stays in his system, and he spent a good enough time pampering his skin. It's a shame he can't wear his favourite jeans anymore though, having a mild trouble zipping it up, but he's too contented he can't bring himself to feel bad about it.

 

Now, his phone is streaming a certain idol's latest album while he lines his eyes with care, arriving to the end of his eye makeup before he contemplates a lip shade to match with it.

 

It's no longer fall but that doesn't mean he can't go for that pinkish orange lip tint, better known as a tea rose shade, to complete his look for the day. He doesn't usually wear this much on a daily basis, but he's in a good mood and a good mood calls for a good makeup but hey even if you're in a bad mood, spending time doing your makeup can be pretty damn therapeutic. 

 

Smacking his lips once, he flutters his eyelashes and checks the overall result of his work. Satisfied, he gives the briefest smile to his own reflection and decides that's enough time in front of the mirror. He checks the time to see if he can spare any minute to go through his wardrobe.

 

Not having enough to buy branded clothing doesn't stop him from buying knockoffs at the street stores; well, knockoffs might sound a little cheap but he has expensive tastes with a cheapskate mindset so that doesn't stop him from having a wide variety of outfits in his closet. It's winter anyway but he's sure he gets to take off his coat in the hospital later. He flips through some sweaters and decides the deep blue one with some red stripes is cute.

 

Baekhyun rings him up a few minutes later, telling him he's already waiting outside with the cab. Kyungsoo quickly grabs his coat, passes by a napping Winter, and deftly puts on his shoes. Before locking the door, he makes sure he has his appointment card with him. 

 

There is indeed a cab already waiting outside, and as soon as he got off the stairs, Baekhyun steps out of the car and waves over at him. Kyungsoo shivers at the chilling breeze and sighs in relief once he gets inside the cab. The second he closes the door, the driver instantly steps on the gas. 

 

"Did I take long?" Kyungsoo whispers to Baekhyun beside him.

 

"I didn't mind. He probably did." Baekhyun whispers back, before he leans back to get a good look at Kyungsoo, cocking an eyebrow at him. "No wonder you took long."

 

Kyungsoo shoves a hand inside of his bag to bring out his phone, checking if his makeup is still okay. "Too much?"

 

"Were you recording or something?"

 

"No. I'm just feeling good today."

 

"Seeing the doctor puts you in a good mood? Is Dr. Jo that good-looking?"

 

"I'll probably have my first sonogram today, and that second part applies better to you.” Kyungsoo keeps his phone away.

 

Baekhyun beside him releases a dreamy sigh. "He's oozing with charisma. I can't be the only one who noticed that."

 

Kyungsoo snickers. "In that white coat?"

 

"In that white coat." Baekhyun hums.

 

"With the stethoscope?"

 

"Are you implying I have a thing for doctors now?" Baekhyun accuses pointedly.

 

The makeup artist snorts, returning to his front camera while expertly fixing his bangs. "With you, I wouldn't be surprised."

 

"Wow." Baekhyun scoffs in mild disbelief before following with a rather shameful, small voice. "I can't even disagree."

 

-

 

After checking in, the two best friends wait for their turn in the waiting room. Across of them is one lady that looks like she could go into labor any minute now. Her stomach is painfully big but she looks rather at ease, her partner beside her giving her massages at her back and Kyungsoo blushes as he looks away, finding it rather intimate to have witnessed such a sight. He wonders if he'll ever get to experience such thing; getting massages and having intimate conversations with a significant other. He's only ever dated once in his lifetime, and it wasn't even that memorable except for the fact that he surrendered his ity to him. 

 

Kyungsoo finds himself looking around then, nothing new since his first visit here. When his gaze lands on the rows of brochures and magazines on the counter, he stands up and walks to it, picking one brochure with the heading 'Babies and Pets - A blooming friendship' and a photo of a baby playing with a Golden Retriever.

 

He returns to his seat. Baekhyun has been on his phone for the rest of the wait. Kyungsoo flips to the first introductory page, deeming it pointless to read before jumping straight into the second page. 

 

"Preparing your Pet for the New Baby"

 

Kyungsoo pouts as he skims through the first few pages, thinking that it shouldn't be too hard for Winter to accept the baby since she's a very laid-back cat, almost chic even, but maybe there are certain things to watch out for because the further he reads, the more he discovers that pets can feel hurt by the lack of attention to them as more is poured for the baby. It is said that pets can be lonelier because their owners will play less with them and these pets are forced to accept the presence of a new 'baby' when all these while they were the babies.

 

Kyungsoo muses at this. Winter has never been one for too much babying, always squirming away at the first smooch to her nose. Maybe Winter would be very accepting of the new baby if it means less smooching and hugging her.

 

"Kyungsoo." He hears Baekhyun calls him beside him, making him look up from the brochure. "Did you know he got his first win yesterday?

 

Nodding, Kyungsoo breaks into a grin. "I did."

 

Baekhyun rolls his eyes playfully, returning to his phone. "Of course you did." 

 

"Have you listened to the whole album?"

 

"No. Recommend me something you find nice?"

 

Kyungsoo instantly pulls his earphones out from his bag and hands one of the earbuds to Baekhyun while he has one for himself, plugging it to his phone as he opens his iTunes. "I would rec you the entire thing, but this one is my favourite so far."

 

He taps on the song just below the title track.

 

'Bury Now' 

 

Halfway into the song, Baekhyun hums in appraisal. "Soft lyrics, upbeat tempo. Sounds like something you'd like."

 

"I do like it." Kyungsoo admits, subtly bobbing his head to it. "I like this sound from him."

 

"Yeah well, 'Body' is all so this is a nice balance," By the time Baekhyun pulls his earphone out, the nurse is calling Kyungsoo in. Making his way inside, Kyungsoo puts away his phone into his bag, his mind still reeling with the song he just shared with Baekhyun as the lyrics play over and over like a broken record. 

 

When the weight of all your worlds

Come crashing on your skin

And all you ever wanted was a life to live again

You're not alone, you will carry on

 

And I found another reason

To love the life I live

To see the world at large, to bury all my sin

I'm not alone, I will carry on

 

-

 

Kyungsoo needs to pee. So bad.

 

The nurse encouraged him (he believes guilt tripped him into it sounds more like it) to finish an entire bottle of water slowly and to avoid emptying his bladder until after his ultrasound since it makes for a good medium for the sound waves to propagate and other scientific stuff Kyungsoo can't fathom, and now his bladder muscles are crying at him at the pressure and the need to be relieved. 

 

"I need to pee." Kyungsoo croaks out shamefully, Baekhyun beside him hiding an amused smile. 

 

"You should feel okay in a while." Baekhyun says, purposefully pressing at his lower stomach and earning a light smack from the man lying on the bed. "Just hold it in a little bit longer and it should go away, the need to pee."

 

"You look like you're having a lot of fun." Kyungsoo half glares.

 

"Oh trust me, I am."

 

When the sonogram technician finally returns (sadly it isn't Dr. Jo) with the gel and a pair of clean gloves, Kyungsoo almost wants to scream at her to let him go and take a piss, but he also wants to see his child on the TV. There's a large TV hung on the wall across from them and it's said that the sonogram will be reflected there. Right now, the need to pee outmatches the excitement of seeing his child for the first time, his legs squirming to hold it in. 

 

His sweater is now bunched up on his chest and his jeans ped, the nurse laying a sheet of paper towel over his groin area and leaving most of his lower stomach exposed and Kyungsoo almost lets out an embarrassing squeak when she pours a cool slab of gel onto his abdomen and pelvic area. It's not helping his bladder in the least.

 

"Is this your first ultrasound?" The woman, Dr. Gong asks, turning on the machine as well as the television overhead. When Kyungsoo mumbles a yes, the doctor smiles. "I would usually point out a few things but seeing as you look like you're in an emergency, I think you'd want to get this over fast, don't you?"

 

Kyungsoo smiles at her hesitantly.

 

"It's quite normal to have a higher frequency of urination but it could also mean other things." Dr. Gong starts pressing the transducer over the gel, gently spreading it over the span of his abdomen. The TV already shows some opacities, but Kyungsoo doesn't understand what he's supposed to see.

 

"I can see your membrane there," Dr. Gong says thoughtfully, moving the device slowly and searching. "And- oh, there you go."

 

Kyungsoo doesn't hear what the doctor's saying from then on, blinking up at the screen overhead, seeing a tiny little thing squirming around and it's the cutest little thing and maybe he doesn't feel like expelling anything from his bladder anymore now but his eyes are leaking dangerously fast instead because look at the little happy thing-

 

"Wait."

 

Kyungsoo's pooling eyes land on the rather quiet doctor, navigating the transducer around in deadly silence and Kyungsoo feels like his heart is about to drop. Baekhyun seems to have stopped breathing too beside him. Something can’t be wrong with his child, right? Oh god, what if this is that foetal death thing he’s seen on television but didn’t he just see it moving just now—

 

"Oh. Seems like it's not alone."

 

…What?

 

"You're having multiple. Two, precisely."

 

No. Way.

 

"I'm having... twins?" His heart is palpitating too fast it can't be normal, can it?

 

"Exactly." Dr. Gong calmly replies, smiling as she moves the cursor around on the screen but Kyungsoo still can't seem to breathe properly because twins?

 

"See there? That's the first one, and if I go a bit to the side- yep, there's the second one. A little overlapping." 

 

Kyungsoo scoffs and it comes out as a light sob, turning to face an equally wide-eyed Baekhyun as he gapes at the screen.

 

"Heartbeats: normal... measurements: fairly normal... Your twins are healthy and thriving so far. Congratulations."

 

That's enough to make him pat at Baekhyun's hand incessantly and telling him to go get him some tissue but it's probably a second too late anyway because he finally breaks into a sob, covering the lower half of his face as he continues to stare at the two blobs on the screen wiggling around. He's having not one, but two little happy things. Two additions to his life. Two. Duo. Kyungsoo couldn't ask for anything more.

 

He's having two new family members.

 

-

 

"Gosh, you're so embarrassing." Baekhyun hands him some more tissue.

 

Kyungsoo starts fanning his face as if it would stop him from tearing up, pressing his lips together to prevent them from trembling too much. "I spent my entire morning doing my makeup, I can’t just cry.”  

 

Baekhyun isn’t doing a really good job at keeping himself from laughing anyway. “You're pretty much crying already."

 

“Shut up…” Kyungsoo croaks shamefully, gently dabbing at his eyes and cringes at some pigment seen there. He's never a crier, but all these hormones are insanely messing with him. 

 

"But wow," Baekhyun exclaims lowly. "You're such a small person and now you're carrying twins."

 

Kyungsoo's too emotional to chide him for calling him small.

 

"That's like, double the trouble."

 

"Watch it. You're hurting their feelings.” He lands a hand on his small bump.

 

"Oh my god, you're having twins."

 

"You kinda already said that," Kyungsoo sniffles some more, blowing his nose into the tissue and balling it up.

 

-

 

The two of them are now seated at the consultation room with Dr. Jo. Kyungsoo is now sporting a red nose and red-rimmed eyes, and his eyeliner is most likely smudged by now. He believes he’s looking a little ugly in front of the doctor. 

 

The doctor smiles while going through his file. "So, Dr. Gong told me you're having twins." He unclips something from the file and slides it over to Kyungsoo. It's the printout of his ultrasound.

 

"Pretty sure Dr. Gong told you already but I'll show you anyway." Dr. Jo takes a pencil and without pressing it onto the printout, he circles it around a small figure. "Here's baby number one; and she almost missed baby number two because the first one almost 'shadows' the other. It's quite common in the case of multiples which share the same amniotic sac and placenta."

 

"They're sharing the same placenta?”

 

"Quite possibly. We can confirm it in further visits. But for now, because of the near shadowing incident, it's highly likely for them to be sharing the same placenta, but it could also mean the other placenta is being shadowed too. While having an ultrasound should be able to detect these changes, it's also normal for us to have missed some details only to find out in later scans."

 

Tentatively he takes the printout set, frowning at it. ”What does it mean if they're sharing the same placenta?"

 

Dr. Jo smiles. “It easily means you might be having genetically identical twins." He leans back in his chair. "But this also might give rise to several complications, so we'll have to be on a close lookout for you." He elaborates further but Kyungsoo isn't listening anymore. He's too overwhelmed at the prospect of having twins, more so that they might be identical. 

 

"...that you need to gain more weight."

 

Kyungsoo looks up, blinking dumbly. "Sorry?"

 

Dr. Jo looks through his file again. "Your measurements show that you only gained 800 grams since your first visit. Seeing as you're carrying a multiple now, it's essential to gain at least 2 kg, 3 is better, before you hit your second trimester. You're generally small, but I hope to see you putting on some more weight by your next visit. Is that okay, Mr. Do?"

 

"O-Okay." So the doctor wants him to fatten up.

 

-

 

"Do you think it's because you have the genetics running in your bloodline? Like, your family could have a strong history with twins."

 

Baekhyun suggested going lunch together at this one cafe beside the hospital building. It's not as busy as they expected it to be, but there are a few nurses and housemen utilising their free time there.

 

"Isn't that usually the case?" Kyungsoo slurps on his chocolate frappe, patiently waiting for his pasta. "It could also be from Jongin's side."

 

"Oh my god, what if you actually have a twin brother, Kyungsoo?"

 

Kyungsoo almost chokes on his frappe, having a small bout of coughing before he finally calms down. "Stop saying ridiculous things like that."

 

"You never know, Kyungsoo. Considering you've been..." Baekhyun trails off, gesturing wildly with his hands as if it could complete his sentence.

 

"If I had a twin sibling, the orphanage would've told me." Kyungsoo elaborates. "I grew up there. I would know."

 

Baekhyun pouts away, stirring his americano. "Who knows..." He insists anyway.

 

When his pasta arrives, Kyungsoo practically salivates and doesn't waste any more time staring at it. He has been hungry after all that surprise from the visit, and he's going to fatten up like Dr. Jo told him to, despite not really liking the idea. 

 

His plate cleared, Kyungsoo washes it down with the frappe before deciding it's too thick, getting up to the counter and ordering a bottle of mineral water. While waiting for the girl to take his bottle from the fridge, his eyes scan the many pastries before him. 

 

He should fatten up, right?

 

-

 

Jongin's not in a good mood.

 

He woke up with a sore body, suspecting he didn't do his stretches right after his workout the night before. His fan meeting is being delayed for a good hour due to some technicality issues as well as the non-cooperative fans that keep on pushing each other to get a good view of him on stage. After being ushered backstage and being told to patiently wait for all the issues to resolve, Jongin's mood is already positively soured. 

 

He spent the first few minutes monitoring the progress of the issues, but after a while he grew tired and now he's just sitting in his waiting room, listening to his new music and practicing his choreography in front of the mirror. 

 

Tired of that too, he asks Junmyeon if he can get him some snacks, very well knowing it's not helping his diet at all and he still has to maintain his abs for the rest of the month but he's not feeling good right now. Junmyeon returns 2 minutes later with a chocolate bar and a pack of cookies.

 

Ripping the wrapper off, Jongin chomps on the chocolate bar quite aggressively, glaring at nothing. 

 

"It should be over in a while." Junmyeon says distractedly, peering outside at the commotion before returning to look at the idol. "Are your muscles still sore?"

 

"They're killing me." Jongin grunts, rolling his shoulder and flexing his neck with his eyes closed, checking on them. "I don't have anything tonight, right? Do you think you can send someone to massage me?"

 

"Sure." 

 

A staff soon stops by the room and informs that he can come out now. Stealing a piece of cookie, Jongin goes out of the room, Minseok quickly tailing him to fix his hair a bit before pushing him forward to greet his fans. Taking a few seconds to regain his idol mindset, Jongin goes up the stage and automatically smiles as the fans scream for him.

 

-

 

His mood isn't getting any better by the time his fan meeting ends, and he's still brooding as he's having lunch with his manager. He even contemplates ordering some wine but decides against it because he still needs to practice after this, more so that award season is coming. His whole body still aches and he regrets not spending an extra ten minutes doing some stretching after last night.

 

Junmyeon looks like he has something to say but he probably thinks it's best to just leave him alone for now and not aggravate his already bad mood. They both eat in silence until Jongin feels a vibration in his pocket.

 

He places his chopsticks down and slides his phone out. The sender reads doh k.

 

"I just got back from my appointment."

 

Right. Jongin forgot it's his second visit today. It's generous of Kyungsoo to voluntarily update him without the idol having to ask him first. Just to make sure the elder male knows he's read the text, Jongin types a reply.

 

"what did the doc say"

 

"That I need to gain more weight."

 

Jongin thinks so too if he's being honest. He's no expert but he does remember his sister was definitely a lot bigger when she was pregnant with Rahee at her second month.

 

"Would you like to see the ultrasound?"

 

His phone pings again and Jongin frowns. Kyungsoo already did an ultrasound? On his second visit? The idol thinks this over, but he's too much of a mess right now he can't properly think, and he believes seeing the ultrasound would not be of any help to alleviate his mood. There's also a little spice of panic in there at the thought of seeing a picture of the growing foetus inside the womb, and he doesn't think he's ready. He's not ready to see it yet. Not like this.

 

He can't deny he's still somewhat bitter about it, about having to be a father too soon, about ing up back at Hawaii just because he can't keep his down for one goddamn night. It doesn't matter that he's made a decision to go through with it with Kyungsoo because in the end, the little thing is still unwanted.

 

Jongin is just not ready.

 

"no, it's ok"

 

-

 

Kyungsoo reads the latest text quietly, another hand holding the series of black and white printed sonogram. 

 

He loosens his grip on the phone, letting it fall on the table as he holds the pictures with both his hands now, looking over them one by one with so much fondness. He soon finds himself lying on the floor on his side, his eyes never leaving the pictures of his children - his two beautiful children. It seems more like blobs there with small limbs, but he still thinks they're beautiful. They’re going to be so beautiful.

 

Maybe if they're girls, Kyungsoo gets to play with their hair, tie them up into ponytails and buy them lots of princess dresses. If they're boys and they want dresses then that's fine too. Anything for his precious babies. If they love makeup then Kyungsoo would buy them the whole store if he could. He would never let anyone belittle their children's passion, would never let them be sad about liking something. He would never want their children to be like him.

 

There was a time in high school where he questioned himself if he would have had more friends if he wore less makeup, or none at all. Would they have been less aggressive with their treatment? Would they have stopped emptying his schoolbag to find a lipstick tube and humiliate him by roughly putting it on his lips in front of everyone in the hallway? Would he have had an amazing high school experience if he didn't fall in love with what he's doing now?

 

He didn't like high school. He doesn't understand why some people say it's some of the best years of their lives. He was only happy to be in his shared room with the rest of the orphans, even if they sometimes sneered at him when he took too much time in front of the mirror with some of his caretaker's makeup. It was his best friend, it still is, and he finds absolute satisfaction at being able to make people feel and look beautiful even if it means hiding tons of flaws underneath but hey it's what it's all about in the first place.

 

The only thing that made him persevere high school was that one junior who loved dancing and performing so much like it’s his world, but it was short-lived as he, too, transferred to a more performance arts oriented high school. He silently envied the junior for being able to freely express his passion in all forms, while he in turn was taunted for it. But that junior, he was beautiful, on stage he was art in motion, and most importantly he was loved. He was loved so well, and with that love, he gracefully bloomed into what he is now, and Kyungsoo couldn’t be any prouder, even if he was just watching by the sidelines. Flowers aren’t there to be plucked; they’re there to be appreciated for their beauty.

 

Kyungsoo has his new world now. Kyungsoo has two new worlds, and he's going to nurture them with the utmost care so that they can be like those flowers too. It's okay if he has to do it alone. It's okay if he's the only one excited about it.

 

Winter struts her way to him, sniffing at the printout curiously before deeming it harmless, balling herself up near him. Kyungsoo pats her gingerly, feeling the vibrations of her purring and finding comfort in it.

 

It's not comforting enough apparently, because for the second time that day Kyungsoo cries.

 

-

 

It is on a Sunday morning that Kyungsoo stands at the door in a stunned state, having just showered with his hair still wet.

 

"SURPRISE!"

 

"We brought you cake!"

 

"Cakes," Jongdae corrects, lifting another box with a huge grin. "Since you're having two."

 

Kyungsoo looks between the two boxes and the three happy faces standing expectantly by the entrance, taken aback at the sudden visit. "For me?"

 

"Of course," Baekhyun pads his way inside, placing the cake on the small table before removing his coat. "It's a cause for celebration."

 

"I ordered lemon cake for you since you might not enjoy sweet things right now because, you know," Sehun says, smiling as he kicks his boots off. "But Baek insisted for red velvet. So two." As soon as he sees Winter sniffing at the boxes curiously, Sehun gleams. "Winter, how come you're so fat?! Are you pregnant too?"

 

"She's spayed, Sehun," Kyungsoo retorts with a giggle, shutting the door close. When he whips around it is to the sound of Jongdae's yowling and telling Sehun to bring the cat away.

 

"Winter just wants to say hi to you," Sehun says mischievously, holding out the feline to the terrified male before she writhes in his hold and eventually claws her way out. "Ow."

 

"Let's cut the cakes," Baekhyun declares, and Kyungsoo heads to the kitchen to take some plates and forks, bringing them over to the small table. There's no space so he hands each of them a plate.

 

Sehun holds up a hand. "I'm on a diet." When Kyungsoo slowly and dejectedly lowers the plate, Sehun bites his lower lip and begrudgingly takes it from his hand. “Cheat day.” He mumbles.

 

Kyungsoo blinks at him and smiles.

 

-

 

"So does he know yet?” Baekhyun asks a little off-handedly, stabbing the last piece of cake on his plate.

 

"No..."

 

The stylist offers him a hard stare. ”You haven't told him yet?"

 

"He- He's busy, Baek." Kyungsoo stammers.

 

Baekhyun stops chewing. "'Busy'?" He mutters lowly. "That could only mean one thing."

 

Sehun sighs beside him, probably detecting that this will turn into a talk that he isn’t quite fond of, getting up from his seat to bring the empty glasses into the kitchen. Jongdae pretends to be absorbed with his phone.

 

"That he doesn't want to see it, right?" Baekhyun scoffs, it turning into a murderous chuckle seconds after, and he makes to get up. "That punk, I swear to god--"

 

When he feels a tug at his sweater, he looks down to see Kyungsoo has gripped at the edges of his sleeve pleadingly.

 

"Jongin's busy." He stresses it again, moving his fingers so they can grab at Baekhyun's fingers instead, pulling him back down beside him and resting his head on his shoulder. Sighing, Kyungsoo squeezes his hold on him reassuringly. "I'll let him know later." 

 

Jongdae mutters something under his breath, most probably cursing as he clears the table and brings the leftover cakes to Kyungsoo's fridge. 

 

"That dirtbag already agreed he's going to help you, right? Then why is he not acting like it?"

 

Kyungsoo looks up at Baekhyun sternly. “I told you he's busy. I don't want to stress him out. And don’t call him dirtbag.”

 

"Just do it. Stress him out. I'd like to see that." Baekhyun grumbles with the bitterness of a child, yelping as he earns a light pinch on his forearm. “Well you’re the one that has to bear them for 9 months! What could be more stressful than that? Singing and dancing? Come on.”

 

“Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo grips at him harsher, forcing the stylist to look him in the eyes and Baekhyun does, a little taken aback at the gesture. “Stop it. If you’re trying to make him sound like the bad guy, it’s working but I can’t say I appreciate it.”

 

“I’m pissed.” Baekhyun scowls.

 

“I know you are.” Releasing his grip on him, Kyungsoo rests his chin on his knees, gaze trained on the glaring male. “But it doesn’t make anyone feel any better if you keep talking bad about him. Sehun’s his best friend.” He whispers the last sentence.

 

Stealing a glance at the idol who is now playing with Winter, Baekhyun sighs, realising that he must have potentially hurt him too. Kyungsoo squeezes his hand one last time before getting up, walking to the kitchen.

 

-

 

“Ah, you didn't have to, Jongdae,” Kyungsoo jogs his way to him but the manager has already finished, wiping his hands with the paper towel with a smile.

 

"Nothing I can't handle." He tosses the paper towel into the bin before facing Kyungsoo. "Do you not cook these days, though?"

 

Kyungsoo shakes his head. "Hardly. I'm much too tired after work these days."

 

Jongdae nods, deep in thought. He seems to be calculating if he should say what he wants to say or not, before breathing deeply. 

 

"Kyungsoo."

 

-

 

"Take care, Kyungsoo," Sehun ruffles the shorter male's hair softly, earning a disgruntled noise from him and he lets go. "Let us know if you need anything."

 

"I'll be fine." Kyungsoo smiles up at him. Sehun puts on his mouth mask and pulls the hood over his head before going down the stairs, giving a final wave at his makeup artist.

 

Jongdae seems to have started the car and is left to wait for the idol to show up. When he finally closes the door, Baekhyun’s the first to let out a frustrating sigh, but holds his tongue at the last minute because Sehun is there. Sehun doesn’t say anything.

 

"If we leave it up to him, he might as well try to hide it until his delivery," Jongdae says, turning up the heater as he drives. 

 

"So you're planning to tell him yourself?" Baekhyun asks.

 

"I will."

 

Baekhyun looks over at Sehun in the backseat, eyeing the phone in his hand.

 

-

 

"hey kimjong. how's comeback?”

 

Jongin mindlessly types his reply, his head a little hurting. 

 

"tiring as hell. whats up"

 

He’s just finished monitoring his stage with the PD, and Junmyeon’s going to bring him to lunch later before sending him back to his apartment to rest. 

 

He can't deny that ever since the entire baby fiasco, his friendship with Sehun has gotten a little awkward, although neither of them harbour hard feelings towards one another. It’s mostly attributed to Sehun’s manager and stylist, and for them to side with Kyungsoo means hating Jongin’s guts, not that that should be a surprise, but it probably puts Sehun in an awkward position. 

 

"We were just done visiting him"

 

"what happened to him"

 

Sehun's reply comes in and Jongin almost thinks he's reading it wrong.

 

"He's having twins, dude"

 

-

 

"We're flying to bangkok tomorrow. I hope u'll see him by then."

 

Jongin rubs at his temples, willing his headache to go away. He's in Junmyeon's car now, heading to Kyungsoo's place instead of going to lunch. He can’t even stomach lunch at this point. 

 

He's already exhausted enough with his hectic schedule, and to have received this news he doesn't know what to think. It's a good thing he read the message after his prerecording ended or else it might have distracted him with his work while performing. He hasn’t had a proper sleep in the past 3 days, and if he did get some, he’s often woken up at odd intervals he’s starting to believe he has insomnia. 

 

It almost sounds like a joke even, as if the god of humour finds it hilarious to throw him with more and more bricks just to watch him suffer, because having a child is already one thing, but two? God of humour sure is enjoying himself. 

 

As far as he remembers, none of his predecessors have multiples in their family tree, so that can only mean it comes from Kyungsoo's side. Leaving their son at an orphanage wasn't enough for them apparently, so they left a son with twins running in the blood. Great.

 

Maybe he's not thinking clearly that he’s resorted to blaming Kyungsoo's parents for this whole mess, but he's deadly tired and so far nothing has gone his way ever since he put a child in Kyungsoo- no wait, two children. . How the hell is Kyungsoo gonna carry them? He's already so small to carry one, let alone two. How does nature even allow one person to carry more than one baby? 

 

At some point, he laughs to himself, positive he's gone hysterical from all the stress. Junmyeon side-glances at him worryingly.

 

", I'm gonna father two kids, Junmyeon." His laughter grows. "Just what did I do so wrong to have to deal with this?"

 

His manager sighs, thinking it best to not humour him and just focus on the road. 

 

Jongin's laughter dies, and as if he didn't just go delirious for a minute, he breathes out a deep sigh, cursing again. “ing crazy.”

 

-

 

"You go up first. I'm gonna go look at the store if I can buy him anything." Junmyeon says, and Jongin pushes the door close before making his way upstairs, only his mouth mask secured. His head is still pounding and his vision a little blurry, evident of how drained he is of his energy.

 

By the time he reaches the door, he has to brace himself against the wall as he knocks, as if going up the stairs has already robbed the last of his energy. He really needs a bed right now.

 

The door swings open very slowly, too slow Jongin starts to think it's his head messing with him, and when the bespectacled male appears in his vision, it’s like time has dramatically slowed enough for him to catch his thoughts even when he can’t feel his own limbs anymore. Kyungsoo doesn't look like he's been expecting any guest, and maybe Jongin scoffs a little, finding it all too funny because Kyungsoo's lips are moving, mouthing his name but all the idol can hear is constant ringing before it terminates into absolute silence. 

 

He experiences a momentary relapse and finally loses his footing, throwing all his weight onto the smaller male who seems to have struggled at the sudden fall, and he’s warm. In this cold winter Kyungsoo feels so warm, and he finally remembers why he shouldn’t be as mad as he is at the whole predicament and go around searching for a source to blame until he’s at his wit’s end. Jongin’s tired of doing that, so very tired, and warmth is the only thing he feels before black ultimately swarms his vision.

 

 

 

 

---

A/N : just in case anyone's interested, the song actually exists and it's called Bury Now by Crywolf and i can't help but actually imagine jongin singing to it :')