A/N : sorry for not responding to comments from ch 10. they’re a LOT and i didn’t wanna exclude anyone out so i decided to not reply to them at all lol. dw, I’ll prolly start responding to them from this chapter and so on. also, warning for unexpected pairing (or expected??? lmao). onesided though.

---

 

 

Monochromatic Hearts

 

 

“[Pann] Re: Blind item about that idol knocking up a non-celeb”

Source : Pann

I feel like everyone is guessing names by now, and I just want a separate forum for all of us to mention names instead of doing it on that main article. 

I may have forgotten some names, so you can add it in the comments if you’d like.

 

SM

• Kim Kai
• Oh Sehun
• Lee Taemin

 

JYP

• Jackson Wang
• Jae Park

 

YG

• G-Dragon
• Bobby

 

1. [+955, -76] We also have to take note that another hint is that it happened during a private company event overseas. There aren’t a lot of private events held overseas. I think SM did a workshop in Hawaii this year?

2. [+843, -50] Do you think it’s Kim Kai? He’s had rumours about his bad personality when he drinks. Some of his celeb friends mentioned it too.

3. [+642, -102] Sehun with his makeup artist. 

      [.JPG]

      [.MP4]

4. [+450, -87] GD already has a celeb girlfriend so rule him out. Actually, I don’t think any of the YG artists have exclusively private event overseas. YG barely gives jobs to their own artists anyway.

5. [+223, -40] You know… Sehun seems really close with his makeup artist…

• his makeup artist has an IG, right?
• yes, it’s @d_kyngsu. In fact, he had a short hiatus in updates after SM’s workshop in Hawaii, but of course, it’s just a suspicion.
• That could just mean he had been busy. Stop mentioning names, it’s not good. He’s not even a celeb. 

 

 

 

 

“[Insstiz] Re: blind item of idol knocking up a non-celeb”

To no one’s surprise, this particular blind item has been receiving outrageous responses from the netizens. 

Journalists are being offered a lot of money to have it buried, but they’re adamant on letting the public know, more so because it’s not a regular dating rumour you get almost every month of the year. It’s also a very well known idol, with a huge fanbase, and is still trending, and is therefore guaranteed to leave a huge impact in not only the idol industry but also the showbiz as a whole. 

Rumours are usually easily buried if they’re disposable. Dating news sometimes don’t possess longevity, for celebrities may start and end relationships with minimal loss, and they usually lack truth, for most of them are announced in response to greater national issues in hopes to bury them. Marriage news, on the other hand, is boring and unchallenging. There’s nothing ‘scandalous’ about two people tying the knot for their love, unless it’s a shotgun wedding. Rumours are boring unless the celebrities have a certain ‘personality’ to themselves that has the potential to always instigate talks.

Journalists are positive this item needs to be made public, for none other reason than clicks and views, as well as reactions from the industry as a whole.

 

1. [+955, -76] I’m more curious now… 

2. [+843, -50] Why does this feel more like an invasion of privacy than anything…

3. [+642, -102] Instead of outing them, I think it’s better to just let them make an official announcement. I have a feeling this can’t be easily buried so the agency might have to just let him announce it publicly. 

4. [+450, -87] I have mixed feelings about this. For one, it’s their personal lives, and more so because the other party is a non-celeb and don’t deserve to get all this spotlight to them. It’s not like any of them committed a crime. 

5. [+223, -40] I feel a little bad for the non-celeb party… I don’t think they expected this to happen.

 

 

 

 

“[Insstiz] More info on baby scandal blind item”

Journalists have apparently obtained CCTV footage of said idol interacting with the non-celeb. It’s a long and tiring procedure, and they’re still resolute on making this public and risking being sued by the agency. 

They are still gathering more evidence.

 

1. [+955, -76] Are they even allowed to do that? I thought those kind of footages are only accessible for security purposes.

2. [+843, -50] Damn, these paparazzis are going to such lengths.

3. [+642, -102] They’re so desperate. I actually feel sorry for the idol and the person involved.

4. [+450, -87] Why does this sound kinda wrong? CCTV is for safety purpose and they’re taking advantage of the technology just for some gossip material.

5. [+223, -40] This is just privacy violation.

 

 

-

 

Sehun has never been one for too much spotlight. 

 

Being an idol wasn’t purely by choice; there was a lot of coercion going on behind the scene before he even signed the contract to train under their wing. He wasn’t ambitious by nature, and the only thing that had him going was high school and gaming before he got casted. He has a successful business entrepreneur elder brother and his family had all been just leeching off from him while Sehun was merely the runt. They didn’t expect anything out of him. 

 

There was a point in time where he thought of just becoming a professional gamer since that was the only thing he liked. When he was first approached by a caster, he didn’t initially like the idea. He consulted his parents about it but of course, they were more inclined for him to take up the offer because of the money. Sehun was adamant on declining it even more. 

 

Days go by before he again received a casting offer by a different staff but from the same agency, and he had a brief thought that maybe they really saw an idol potential in him. He took it without talking about it with his parents.

 

Sehun eventually found passion in dancing through another trainee going by the name Jongin, and the guy was said to be gearing for debut a year from then. There was a time where they both were assigned to be backup dancers of their more veteran idol, and that was the time they grew close. The two men bonded for their shared love for dancing and performing. 

 

Kyungsoo only started working for him around 5 months into his debut after his former beauty stylist took up an offer to study overseas, leaving the job vacant. He was, in every sense, pretty; his way of executing his job, his looks, his soft-spoken personality. It’s hard not to fall for these charms especially when they’re constantly being presented before him as Kyungsoo does his job.

 

He is content enough with the smaller male being by his side at most times, although he doubts the latter knows of this little feeling he has for him. Being best friends was more than enough for him, at least he thought it was. Sehun didn’t know when it started but giving Kyungsoo gifts became the only way for him to express himself, even if he’s sure the makeup artist doesn’t understand what they mean except for the sole reason of gratitude. It is still enough, though.

 

When he learnt that Kyungsoo was a person of his own with no known blood ties, that was when he started looking for small companions to gift him. Kyungsoo hadn’t ever specified what kind of pets he’d like, so Sehun went ahead and bought him a cat. He doesn’t know much about cats except that they’re less clingy compared to dogs and maybe it would be okay for the makeup artist to own one despite the nature of his job. Kyungsoo was confused about having a cat as his gift despite the lack of occasion it came with, but he soon warmed up to it, and he named it Winter just because, well, that was the only occasion the feline was gifted to him with. Winter was their only link that Sehun was proud to have. He was content with only that much.

 

The baby news that fell upon them, however, momentarily destroyed this contentment. 

 

He was the third person to know of this, following Baekhyun the first and his manager Jongdae coming in second. He was the last of their team to learn of this due to his fellowship with none other than the baby daddy. Sehun received this news through the makeup artist himself, with the manager and stylist behind him, and them all behind closed doors. He felt his whole world stop moving when the message was relayed, and if he were to be honest, that was the first and the only time he hated Kim Jongin. He doesn’t hate him now, though. He’s far from that kind of person, or at least he thought, because he knew deep down there was always that hatred for being upstaged; be it by his own brother, and now by the other idol.

 

Sehun thought it was going to be easy accepting the child given their situation, until he saw the look flashing on Kyungsoo’s face when he announced it. It could’ve easily been missed if one’s eyes were not keen, but when it comes to Kyungsoo, Sehun’s eyes have never missed anything, and he certainly didn’t miss that little glint of happiness shadowed by anxiety and worry, or maybe it wasn’t so much shadowed as it was just all mixed up together because no one expected him to be pregnant least of all himself. 

 

Sehun didn’t like to think he had lost right then, but that is where he’s wrong. He had already lost since the beginning, ever since he had the makeup artist right under his nose, ever since he knew of the little stolen glances Kyungsoo didn’t notice Sehun saw whenever they pass by a certain haughty male idol. Sehun had long since lost, and he knew he was just making a fool of himself by keeping him around still, when in fact Kyungsoo had always proved he was never a choice and merely a close friend.

 

All this time, he had lost him to none other than his best friend. 

 

-

 

Sehun returns the iPad to Jongdae shortly after, musing to himself.

 

“That’s interesting.” He mutters, sounding disinterested.

 

Jongdae scoffs. “Well it should be since it isn’t about you.”

 

“It’s interesting because some of them are suspecting me.” Sehun raises the window beside his seat, watching the carpet of clouds beneath them. “But I’m curious how these journalists even found out about it.”

 

His manager sighs. “There will be madness when we arrive at the SM building later.”

 

“Of course. Anything to keep their golden boy around.” Sehun scoffs, leaning back in his seat and closing his eyes, but then reopens them and turns to the manager again. “Does Kyungsoo know about this?”

 

Jongdae shrugs. “No idea. He’s bound to know, anyway.”

 

Sehun thins his lips in thought. “You see, he’s not the type to go on news sites. He’s got a grandpa mind with an extensive love for beauty maintenance. Do you think you could tell Baekhyun to not let him know about this?”

 

“But don’t you think it’s pointless? Jongin will most probably get back to him about it.”

 

“Mm, I don’t think he’ll do that.” Sehun says, returning to closing his eyes and relaxing in his seat. “The guy must know Kyungsoo’s stressed enough as it is.”

 

-

 

“They want you immediately.”

 

Junmyeon says, texting something on his phone and informing Jongin at the same time. Jongin wonders how he does that without getting it all jumbled up. The idol lets out a huff, glaring at the buildings they’re driving past. “About time.”

 

Ever since the release of the blind items, Jongin has been easily agitated at the most minute of things. He really wishes to know how those people even found out about it. Regardless, he should be more careful from now on with all his movement being eyed on and the people he talk to being squinted at.

 

He thought the agency did their part on keeping it buried, but that apparently doesn’t seem to be the case now that those blind items are out and netizens are making guesses. This could only mean one thing — that these journalists have a good dirt on him and are very keen on publicizing it despite the risk of being sued by his agency. 

 

More than fearing for his possible defamation, Jongin is just annoyed at these paparazzis for bothering too much about his life, although he knows it comes with the job itself. He’s also partially worried that this would affect Kyungsoo, emotionally or not. The smaller male is pregnant, and Jongin has made a choice of being responsible for it after a lot of thought, and he knows if this gets out, Kyungsoo will be the first person to apologise to him. He had a good guess why the makeup artist kept insisting that it’s all on him when Jongin’s the one who put those two children inside him, that is, until he came over the other day and more than figured.

 

If Kyungsoo deems himself guilty then Jongin is a lot more culpable for one: letting his drunken self go ahead and took him, and two: actually making Kyungsoo feel guilty for carrying his kids. The second is worse. Obviously. 

 

Unborn as they may be, period, they still have a lot to discuss about the kids. If Jongin squints enough, he can tell that Kyungsoo isn’t as worried as he is at the prospect of raising not one, but two kids, and not alternatively too. Maybe Kyungsoo has yet to truly grasp the amount of hard work in parenting because he didn’t grow up seeing it, while Jongin as a child has seen his mother stressing out at raising his sister and him while being a devoted wife to her husband and working at the same time. Maybe Kyungsoo really just needs some kins to make himself feel wanted. 

 

Well now that’s a sudden damper to his mood, not like he’s been feeling all too great either.

 

-

 

So apparently they can only hold it off until the awards season, which is pretty soon, but of course they can’t stop the netizens from speculating, still. November is about to end, and in the midst of his promotional activities there will be award shows left and right and Jongin is expected to outperform some of the candidates for no other reason than to gain the last bit of positive accounts for his work and dedication (seemingly before the fall, although they didn’t say this part out loud). Since it involves a non-celebrity, it’s hard to arrive to a conclusion that can benefit both parties, as well as minimise loss. They are expected to have another meeting to finalise their decision and do what’s right, and maybe have Kyungsoo with them too.

 

He looks at his phone and thinks twice about texting Kyungsoo about it but eventually decides against it because it might just stress him out, although he has a vast feeling of just letting him know for the sake of precaution. Maybe not now, idiot.

 

Jongin has a radio show later, and while waiting for that he was at the dance room for practice, much so now that awards season is approaching and his choreographer has taught him a new choreo for his opening song. Junmyeon brings him to early dinner and after that they’re headed to the broadcasting station where the radio show is held. There will be a small audience for that since it’s a half-public one.

 

“Oh.” Junmyeon exclaims at whatever he’s reading on his phone. “Goodness.”

 

They’re in the car, and it’s dark, the only light source coming from the streetlights outside. Jumyeon’s phone adds to that. Jongin turns to him, snacking on his almonds loudly. “What is it?”

 

“This is… how to say… interesting, I guess.” Junmyeon says. “Hold on, I’ll send the link to you.” 

 

Jongin waits while Junmyeon sends it, and when he hears a buzz in his pocket he brings his phone out. Attached to the message is a link redirecting him to a Pann forum, and this makes him look up at Junmyeon with bafflement. “Really, now?”

 

“A friend sent it to me,” He shrugs. “I don’t usually read anything from there. They’re hardly credible.”

 

Jongin acknowledges him with a hum before scrolling down the site, and there’s nothing new except for some more name guesses and Jongin scoffs, terribly wishing they were right with those names instead of his. It doesn’t faze him for now after being reassured that the news will be put on hold in respect to the award season. Nothing about the content of the article itself looks concerning enough, so he scrolls downwards some more to see the comments. 

 

It is the current most upvoted comment that has him pausing. 

 

1. [+3955, -2276] Sehun with his makeup artist. 

       [.JPG]

       [.MP4]

    - where did you get this?

    - I was there. This is my video. 

    - isn’t this a violation of privacy??

    - take this down, please

    - his makeup artist is not a celeb. Take this down

    - omg this has so many upvotes

    - looks legit

 

There’s nothing surprising about their selca together, but he feels like laughing at these netizens for even thinking it’s Sehun when the guy takes selcas with almost everyone in his team just because he really likes promoting them on his account for fun. Jongin taps on the video next with no expectation whatsoever. 

 

A crowd of people are seen in the video, most of them with their phones out. The scene seems familiar, and when the camera panned a little bit upwards, Jongin can finally tell it’s the SUM Cafe.  He hears a faint scream in the background calling for Sehun and Jongin finally spots him in one of the lines queueing up, and there’s also Jongdae beside him with a backpack held in his hand. Soon enough, a very familiar small male made his way to them and asked for his backpack from the manager. Kyungsoo’s outfit seems familiar, his cream oversized turtleneck sweater that hangs around his frame comfortably and Jongin then remembers that that was the outfit he showed up with in front of his apartment. 

 

The camera was shaky and Jongin almost thought of closing it until the chatters died down and they were all just whispering among each other. Squinting at it, Jongin sees the male is stunned in surprise or something and meanwhile Sehun gathered the things on the floor before leaning close— wait, isn’t that too close?

 

This heightened the whispers among the crowd of fans, some curious of who that guy was and some wondering if they saw the things that fell. And just like that, the video ends.

 

Livid, Jongin scrolls down some more to see if anyone else has said anything about it, and most of them are indeed in favour of the first top most comment. He presses the home button with irritation before pocketing it back. 

 

Junmyeon seems expectant of him, and so Jongin lets out an indignant huff. “That- That shouldn’t mean anything.”

 

“Of course, it shouldn’t.” Junmyeon says. “It’s just a speculation, a wild one at that. They’re just bored of waiting for the bomb to drop.”

 

“Well they gotta know that’s the most unreasonable, most senseless speculation they’re putting out there.” He spits out the words with disgust. “From just one blurry video, at that. It’s stupid at best.”

 

“It’s just a speculation,” Junmyeon repeats, shaking his head at him. “No need to get so worked up about it.”

 

“I’m not worked up,” Jongin defends himself, scowling at the city lights outside while crunching on his almonds and indeed getting worked up.

 

-

 

Sehun texts him to say he’s arriving in another ten minutes.

 

Kyungsoo rushes to boil the water and looks for anything edible to eat from the fridge before thinking that the idol might be on a diet. He settles for cut fruits instead. 

 

“Jongdae’s not with you?” He asks as soon as he opens the door to find only the idol alone standing outside with a paper bag in his hand. Sehun comes in and lowers his mouth mask to answer that no, it’s only him.

 

“He went out for a smoke, and will probably just nap in his car. Said he doesn’t want to see Winter.” Sehun laughs, removing his coat before greeting the cat. “Well aren’t you a fattie.”

 

“She’s not fat. It’s her fur.” Kyungsoo chuckles while going to the kitchen to make some drink. He asks the idol if he wants coffee or tea but he gets chocolate as a response. He can hear faint sounds of the channels being flicked while he finds his jar of chocolate powder he must have shoved deep in the cabinet. 

 

“I hope you didn’t cook!”

 

“I didn’t!” Kyungsoo answers back, finally finding the jar and scoops some chocolate into the mug before adding a little sugar into his. “I just cut some fruits.” Pouring the hot water into the mugs, he watches the chocolate swirl as he stirs it well, steam rising out of it and the bittersweet aroma clouding the air. He brings both mugs to the living room before rushing back to the kitchen to take a packet of marshmallows for himself, since he’s sure Sehun won’t be wanting it.

 

“I hope you didn’t put sugar in mine.” Sehun says, raising the mug to his lips.

 

“I didn’t,” Kyungsoo chirps, tearing the packet of sweet treats so he can munch on one and adding some more into his chocolate. When the familiar bells clink and he turns to see it he gasps in surprise.

 

“Sehun, you bought this for her?” Kyungsoo sets his mug on the table before attending to his cat to see the outfit she’s wearing. It’s a green fairy costume with wings on her back and there’s also a tiny tiara on her head and- “Oh my god, it comes with shoes.”

 

“Only the best for the birthday cat in the house.” Sehun proudly says.

 

“You didn’t have to,” Kyungsoo says, cooing at the cute little thing anyway. He pats his pockets, and then the couch, before whining in realisation. “Hold on, I left my phone charging in the room.”

 

-

 

Sehun watches the television in silence, scoffing at the person on the screen. When Kyungsoo returns he doesn’t make an effort of changing the channel and merely observes if his makeup artist notices.

 

He doesn’t so far, too preoccupied with taking decent pictures of Winter and her new costume while giggling to himself. Sehun can’t help but smile adoringly at the sight, feeling a little distant with everything that is happening. Chancing a subtle glance at the other male’s stomach, he can now see the outline of a bump, more so because Kyungsoo is wearing a tight fitting turtleneck instead of the usual oversized ones when he goes outside. 

 

“Jongdae told me about your new job once you stop working for me,” He begins, watching the male stops fussing with the outfit as he looks up at him. “Are you going to resign soon?”

 

Kyungsoo gives him a small, sad smile. “Well, it has to happen sooner or later anyway. I’m already showing, too.” He joins Sehun and scoots closer and leans against the edge of the couch on the floor. “It’s… not a good environment for me anymore. I get easily tired too. And let’s not forget the anxiety I get about the… you know…” 

 

Sehun fully understands, and if the male were to go on the news sites and fan forums, he’d be a lot more closed off too. “Yeah. You need a less stressful working environment.” He says, not mindful of his own words anymore as he finds himself staring at the smaller male beside him, and it is only then that he realises the latter’s ears have grown red because of what he’s seeing on the TV screen, completely forgetting Sehun beside him. 

 

Sehun doesn’t say anything else and only quietly watches him, mesmerised by the sight of him biting his lower lip as his eyes are focused on the screen watching someone else. It’s 2 minutes later when Kyungsoo seemingly realises he’s grown too quiet and looks at Sehun only to grow more flustered because he soon snatches the remote to change the channel. 

 

“You could just leave it,” Sehun mutters.

 

“N-No, it’s okay,” Kyungsoo stammers, bringing Winter onto his lap and fidgets with the tiara on her head. “Thanks for this, by the way.”

 

“Pleasure.” Sehun answers, before remembering something as he slips a hand into a different paper bag to bring out a sealed tube. “Bought you this too.”

 

“What’s that?” Kyungsoo tilts his head confusedly. 

 

“Hope you don’t already have it in your collection. The salesgirl said it’s new.” He hands it to Kyungsoo who then raises it to eye level and inspects the label, smiling.

 

“Well what do you know. I don’t have this yet.” Kyungsoo chirps, turning to Sehun with a genuine smile. “Thanks a lot, Sehun. It’s not my birthday, though.” He takes off the seal and uncaps it, dabbing a little onto the back of his hand and beams some more. “Looks nice.”

 

Sehun takes it out of his hand and leans closer, bringing the brush to the other male’s lips and slowly applies it. Kyungsoo seems a little taken aback at first but he then chuckles softly, letting the idol do whatever he wants as he puckers his lips for Sehun to reach more. It’s a light cherry blossom pink shade, and it settles nicely on Kyungsoo’s lips with a shiny gloss to it that makes them look delectable.

 

When he finally pulls away the brush, he watches Kyungsoo smacking his lips once and smiles up at him. “Why, thank you.” He swipes his phone to front camera and studies his own face in it, his smile bigger now that it makes his eyes into crescents. “I like it.”

 

Sehun has long since stopped thinking ever since he applied the lip gloss onto those lips, and he probably still isn’t thinking as he lands a hand on the floor while another reaches for Kyungsoo’s chin and turns it so he can press his lips against the glossy pink ones, feeling a part of it sticks to his own as he presses deeper and ignoring the startled mewl.

 

Feeling a light push on his chest, Sehun pulls away to see a confused frown marring Kyungsoo’s face, and only then he realises how much of a fool he is. A fool for giving away his feelings in one simple act just because he wasn’t thinking. A fool for thinking it was wise to kiss his own best friend and potentially ruining the friendship. A fool for even falling for him when he long since knew Kyungsoo was never his from the beginning.

 

“Sehun,” Kyungsoo starts warily, his smile completely gone now. “What was that for?”

 

Sehun can only smile wryly. He guesses he is a little sorry, but he’s also selfish in his own rights, and he’s tired of always having to appear level-headed when he has his own unvoiced desires. “I’ll visit you sometime. The salon’s close to the building. We might even cross paths—”

 

“You’re not answering my question.” Kyungsoo cuts him off.

 

“My sendoff gift.” He says, watching as Kyungsoo’s confusion deepens. “I’m sending you off as my favourite makeup artist.”

 

“I’m still working for you.”

 

“I won’t be meeting you like this anymore.” Sehun reasons, not completely pulling away from Kyungsoo’s personal space just yet. “I had fun, Kyungsoo. You made work bearable for me. It’s sad that I have to send you off like this, but I needed to get it off my chest, and I want you to remember me.” He knows it’s selfish on his part, but he can’t bring himself to feel sorry for it. He leans forward again only to be met with resistance on his chest again.

 

“We’re friends, Sehun. You don’t have to do this.”

 

“Then let this one last kiss be just between friends. Nothing more.” Without another word, he captures those lips into his, both ignoring the buzzing of a phone on the floor when Sehun slowly parts the other’s lips with his, tasting the bittersweet chocolate in his cavern. It’s short-lived because Kyungsoo turns his head away from him, making Sehun’s lips ghost across his cheek. 

 

“I- I’m sorry.” Kyungsoo mumbles, scooting himself further from the idol. “I can’t.”

 

Sehun detaches himself from him, wiping the smudged gloss from his own lips, not missing the text on Kyungsoo’s phone by the sender K K. 

 

“wanna meet u. coming over in 10”

 

“I understand,” He says, eyes still trained on that text which Kyungsoo hasn’t noticed yet until it fades to blackness. “You can’t want what your heart tells you it doesn’t. Yours wants someone else.”

 

“No, I mean—”

 

“It’s okay, Kyungsoo. You don’t have to explain yourself. You don’t owe me anything. This— me coming here is just so I can say my thanks. For everything.” Sehun elaborates, staring at the glossy pigment on his fingers from where he wiped his lips just now. “I went ahead of myself anyway… I hope I didn’t make things strange between us.”

 

“You already did…” Kyungsoo mutters under his breath, looking down at his lap where Winter is curled up.

 

“I’m not apologising for that, then. I’m not sorry for kissing you.” Sehun smiles, ruffling his hair once before standing up, taking Winter with him and rubbing her head earning a happy purr. This cat will forever link the idol to him - well, as long as it’s alive.

 

He announces that he’s taking his leave now, lowering the feline on the floor while Kyungsoo stands up and mutely walks him to the door.

 

“Is- Is this really the last time you’re visiting me?” Kyungsoo asks, hesitantly looking up at him, and Sehun wants to say something, but he keeps it to himself for now and just shrugs with a smile.

 

“I’ll probably surprise you if I want to.”

 

“I’m… sorry.” He hears the shorter male apologize. Sehun doesn’t like it.

 

“I’m not. I could kiss you again right now if you’d let me—”

 

“Wait, no, please.” Kyungsoo immediately covers his lips, making the taller male choke on a laugh.  “I don’t want you to kiss me.”

 

“I can clearly see that.” He’s still laughing as he says this, and he soon drops it when he sees Kyungsoo looking utterly flustered, and borderline sad. “I’m gonna miss you, gonna think about you when someone else do my hair and makeup.”

 

“Don’t think about me,” Kyungsoo says sternly, refusing to look him in the eyes. “Don’t ever think about me at all. That’s not gonna help you get over it.”

 

“Who says I’m getting over it?”

 

Kyungsoo finally looks up, his gaze forlorn. “Sehun…”

 

The idol smiles wryly, opening up his arms in a welcoming manner, and his smile turns genuine when Kyungsoo actually sinks into his embrace, planting his face into his chest. His chest feels a lot lighter with that out now, and like this, he guesses he can easily let him go now. He’d like to believe it’s just a mild crush; that way he can get it over a lot faster. Caressing the shorter male’s hair, Sehun supposes he is but a hopeless, selfish fool. 

 

“Expect something in the mail soon.”

 

-

 

Kyungsoo imagines falling for a best friend to be the last thing on his mind. Not abominable, but not pleasant, either.

 

Sehun is a dear friend. They started out as work acquaintances, and grew closer over the years. To ruin that with a romantic feeling is unimaginable. While he did have a small crush on him in the first few weeks working with him, he got over it fast. Sehun, however, didn’t. And still hasn’t, apparently.

 

He’d like to think it’s just because most of their time are spent together, and he has a firm belief that with distance, Sehun will get over it. He’ll get over it. He has to, because or else, Kyungsoo doesn’t know if leaving his job as Sehun’s makeup artist would be easy. It’s a little inconsiderate of the idol to send him off in this manner, with unease coiling in Kyungsoo’s chest. Kyungsoo wants to hate him for it, but he can’t. He can’t blame the idol for falling for him at one point during their time together. He just wishes Sehun was sympathetic enough to spare this unnecessary concern seeing as he will no longer be working for him. 

 

With his face buried in the taller male’s chest, he can only feel sorry for him, and to him. He can’t see him in that way, not now or ever. It’s impossible. Sehun is a friend.

 

Hearing the last words whispered to him, Kyungsoo can’t help but to snort. The idol is still sending gifts to him even after this parting. All the gifts given to him - they were all given with a certain feeling but Kyungsoo had been accepting them with a different heart. He’s going to look at them in a different light from now on.

 

He pulls away from the hug, and frowns when he hears a stifled chuckle from the taller male. He asks him what’s wrong only to get a ruffle in his hair in return. And just like that, Sehun starts to walk away only to halt at the sight of someone else taking the stairs. Kyungsoo is also taken by surprise, because walking up the stairs while sending a skeptical glance at Sehun, is none other than Jongin.

 

“Sehun.”

 

“Jongin.” Sehun sounds chirpy compared to the other male. “Be on my way now.”

 

“See you.” Jongin responds with a curt nod, watching the other male walk down the stairs before he finally approaches Kyungsoo’s apartment with a permanent frown on his lips. “What was he doing here?”

 

“Visiting.” Kyungsoo wills his voice to not sound so unsure. “What are you doing here?”

 

“I texted you I’d be here.” Jongin replies, sounding incredulous. “Did you not read it?”

 

“You did? I- I must have missed it…” 

 

There’s a relative silence on the other’s end before he speaks again. “Or busy making out with someone.”

 

He hears the apparent sarcasm dripping in the taller male’s tone, and his face contorts into a bashful frown, wondering how he knew. 

 

“Your lips.” Jongin snarls through his teeth. “They’re a mess.”

 

-

 

Jongin doesn’t know what’s worse: Kyungsoo being kissed by his own best friend, or his best friend passing by him just now pretending as if he hadn’t just made out with the male before him, very well knowing that Kyungsoo’s carrying his kids.

 

He silently watches as Kyungsoo’s face distorts into belated realization, and the elder male quickly covers his mouth as if that would help him feel any better. Well, it doesn’t. While he has been worrying his over the stupid blind items and to prevent Kyungsoo from feeling bad about having his kids, Kyungsoo’s been making out with someone behind his back, and with his own best friend at that? Yeah, Jongin’s most positively pissed, alright.

 

“Sorry, let me just—” Kyungsoo rushes back inside and snatches a few tissues from the tissue box underneath the small table, haphazardly wiping his lips with it. Jongin invites himself into the house and pushes the door close. “Um, just make yourself at home while I- yeah.” Kyungsoo says, facing away from him as he still works on cleaning his lips, making his way into the kitchen while at it. “Do you want me to make you—”

 

“It’s fine.” Jongin bites out, his annoyance most probably goes unnoticed by the elder male. “I won’t be long.” He watches Kyungsoo pick up the empty mugs - two empty mugs - and brings them into the sink before finally walking up to Jongin, hands clasping together in what appears to be nervousness. 

 

There’s a lot to note about Kyungsoo’s whole demeanour right now, standing before him ready to hear whatever Jongin is about to say. First is the apparent raise in his abdomen due to the material of the sweater hugging his figure. Second is the refusal of the said male to look up at him in a genuine eye contact. And third,—

 

“You missed some spots,” Jongin says, raising his thumb to Kyungsoo’s left cheek and he wonders just how intense their makeout was for a part of his lip gloss to even reach there. There’s something inside of him boiling but he abstains from giving it a name as he then drags his thumb to the corner of his lip where Kyungsoo might have missed, watching the pigment disappear underneath his digit while the shorter male stays put, most probably stunned into silence. He doesn’t completely detach his finger from him, and uses it as an excuse to ghost it across Kyungsoo’s plump lower lip despite it being already clean from any leftover of the gloss. 

 

“Do you like him?” Jongin finds himself asking.

 

Kyungsoo finally looks up and it’s the first time for them to lock eyes that day. “Not in that way, no.” 

 

“Then why were you two kissing? Or is it a common thing you and your friends do or something?”

 

“What— no. He- He kissed me first,” Kyungsoo confesses, gently removing Jongin’s hand off of his face. “That’s all I can say.”

 

“Sehun likes you.” Jongin deduces, unamused. Kyungsoo sighs.

 

“What did you want to talk about, Jongin?”

 

Jongin stares at him some, still a little stubborn to completely let it go. He motions to the couch and  they both seat themselves, Kyungsoo turning the volume of the TV down. When Jongin notices a pink tube on the table, Kyungsoo quickly snatches it and stashes it inside his pocket, looking beyond embarrassed. Jongin tongues at his cheek, trying very hard to contain the annoyance.

 

“By any chance, are you planning on moving out?” The idol starts before he can think of doing stupid things like berating Kyungsoo for it.

 

“Moving out? Where to?”

 

“Somewhere closer to the city.”

 

“City— oh, no. Rent is so much higher there. I’m fine here.” 

 

“You do realize you can’t rely on Sehun’s team for commute to work anymore, right?” Jongin questions him knowing he doesn’t own a car, and when he sees the elder male blink up at him, he concludes that Kyungsoo doesn’t really think things through. Kyungsoo is rather… naive in certain areas. Or just slow. He’s not sure. “So you didn’t.”

 

“Gosh, I forgot,” Kyungsoo gasps. “Cab is so costly…” Jongin can literally see the gears turning but not quite settling in Kyungsoo’s head.

 

“I can ask Junmyeon to look for an apartment with an affordable rent for you, if you’re up for it. He knows some people in the real estate,” He offers. It’s the only thing he can think of right now to help the other male. Besides, Kyungsoo’s current place is not the most strategic for constant visits, being high up the suburbs and away from the city, and also a good 40 minute drive just to get here if traffic allows. That’s a lot of time wasted for just commute.

 

“Jongin, I’m…” He worries his lower lip. “I’m not so sure about troubling Junmyeon like that…”

 

“It’s no trouble if it’s because of me.”

 

“Because of you?”

 

“You’re having my kids.” Jongin says matter-of-factly. “That’s reason enough.” It however earns him a blush from the elder male, and Jongin is left wondering why it made him so. It’s pretty nonetheless, so he won’t point that out.

 

“O-Okay then,” Kyungsoo stutters, looking away. “I’ll look for it myself too.”

 

Jongin shakes his head. “Just let my manager do it. You just focus on work.” He actually doesn’t trust Kyungsoo enough to look for a decent one, if this current apartment is anything to go by. If it were up to the shorter male, he might’ve even settled for a store room if it meant lower rent. Well, a store room with enough space for a makeup table, that is. “When’s your next appointment?”

 

“It’s after Christmas. A month from now.” Kyungsoo replies. “Is that all you came here for?”

 

Jongin steals a glance beside him and takes a deep breath, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his parted knees, because he’s racking his brain for a well thought-of answer for that question, as he is indeed here only for that. “Well…”

 

“You could’ve texted me.”

 

The idol freezes as he hears that, positive that it’s like the third time Kyungsoo said that to him. It’s like he didn’t want to see him, and somehow, Jongin takes offence at that. “I wanted to see you.” He blurts out. “In the flesh.” 

 

“Oh…” Kyungsoo trails off, tearing his gaze away from Jongin. “Wh- Why so?”

 

Why? Kyungsoo’s asking him why? It’s been two days since Sehun’s team made it back to South Korea from their Bangkok concert, and two more when they were in Bangkok. Can’t he just see him just because? It isn’t like he gets to see him often, anyway.

 

“So I know you and the babies are doing well,” It’s not a lie. “I can’t tell through texts.” Kyungsoo might also lie to him about feeling well. He’s never texted him he wasn’t feeling good. “Are you, though? Feeling well?”

 

He’s returned with a shy smile and a small nod. “I am.”

 

The idol has a momentary self debate on whether or not to bring up the blind items, but with how content Kyungsoo looks right now, Jongin would feel like crap if he did. That was truthfully another reason he’s here, to discuss the privacy of their meetings and how to avoid unnecessary eyes from the click-hunger journalists, but perhaps… perhaps that can be left out. Period. Not when Kyungsoo looks like a soft little creature curling up comfortably by his feet and Jongin did not just compare him to a cat. It’s just— it’s here. Winter sunset all over again.

 

When will Jongin stop comparing Kyungsoo to soft things, he doesn’t know.