Monochromatic Hearts

 

 

Placing the bag of side dishes packed by his mother on the dining table, Jongin glances at Kyungsoo who is adding some canned food into the cat bowl with the black-furred feline sniffing eagerly at it. He can hear the elder male cooing something about missing the cat, while Winter chows on her food heartily, coolly ignoring Kyungsoo’s coos.

 

It’s nearly 9 pm by the time they arrive in the city, and Jongin’s mom gave them quite a handful of food Jongin had to help bring everything up to Kyungsoo’s place. The idol takes them out of the bag and notices how his mother never provides two of each. Clearly she thinks the two males are living together.

 

The hairstylist comes up to him then, studying the full containers on the table and even opens some of their lids. He looks especially gratified at the tofu soup. 

 

Pursing his lips together, Jongin takes a look at the time on his phone. “I think I better head home now.”

 

“Stay for dinner first,” Kyungsoo blurts as he looks up at him, and Jongin whips his head around to regard him with uncertainty, which ultimately flusters the elder male. “…If you want? The rice won’t take long to cook…”

 

Gone were the mild hiccups and red nose from the time in his car, and they’re now replaced with the usual inquiring eyes and hesitant smile. 

 

Jongin has time to kill, anyway.

 

-

 

There’s something about the way Kyungsoo eats, the way he takes small bites of everything as if he’s putting a restraint on himself. It stresses Jongin out a little, at the lack of satisfactory-looking bites. Not to say Jongin eats a lot with Kyungsoo, but he did see the same thing back at his family home. His soup bowl is empty now, too. 

 

“Probably should’ve asked mom for more of that,” Jongin chucks his chin at the half empty pot of the soup. “You seem to like it.”

 

Kyungsoo’s eyes widen at the note, proceeding to shake his head vigorously. “Oh, no no, it’s more than enough.”

 

“Doesn’t seem like ‘enough’ for you.” Says the idol, picking up Kyungsoo’s empty soup bowl and scoops some more of the steaming hot soup with some tofus before placing it back on Kyungsoo’s side of the table and returning to his meal. “I’ll let her know how much you like it.”

 

“That’s kind of you…” He hears the elder male mumble, watching him scoop some rice and dip it into the soup before eating it. 

 

“Common decency,” Jongin shrugs, picking some more chicken strips onto his rice. “I know some of it.”

 

“Don’t beat yourself up over it,” Kyungsoo says calmly, offering him a small smile albeit with the full cheeks. “You’re a kind person.”

 

How can he not, is what Jongin wanted to retaliate with, but he’s not gonna ruin the dinner with his bitter thoughts, nor does he want Kyungsoo to think he’s saying that to fish more compliments and reassurance from him. 

 

Seeing Kyungsoo crying back in the car because of a taste of something he had craved for years put Jongin into some long and intricate monologue, especially while being on the wheel for hours. They say you think a lot while you drive, and think Jongin did. Or perhaps ‘reflect’ is a better term.

 

Not everyone is graced with familial love, and one that does may take it for granted. Kyungsoo seeks for the kind of security that only a family can provide; that blood bond that holds you together so strong it won’t waver even at the biggest of rifts. Jongin has it, and the Kims are more than happy to share it with Kyungsoo. And now, Kyungsoo also has the twins…

 

Maybe Kyungsoo just wants to feel belonged, and as thick-skulled as Jongin can be sometimes, he doesn’t have the heart to deny such pure and unadulterated desire. After all, we all long for something.

 

“How long did you stay at the orphanage?” Asks Jongin, not having an immense appetite now. 

 

“For as long as I can remember,” Kyungsoo shrugs. “I don’t have any memory of being elsewhere when I was a child.”

 

“When did you get out?”

 

“After high school, just like the rest, where they deem us independent enough to go and fend for ourselves out there.” He says, looking down at his rice. “I wonder how are the kids there right now…” The elder male starts looking distant, lost in thought. 

 

Jongin worries his lower lip as he asks further. “Are there like, no adoptions or fostering going on there or something?”

 

“Of course there are,” Kyungsoo mutters, smiling sadly. “Nobody wanted me, apparently.”

 

-

 

With the table swept clean and dishes washed, Jongin finds himself by the doorstep with a content looking Kyungsoo. 

 

“If I could, I- I’d like to meet your family again someday.” Says the elder male with apparent sincerity, his two hands resting on the start of his bump. “I like them.”

 

That’s more than likely, Jongin thinks, especially when talks of marriage are involved, but that’s not something he wants to discuss with Kyungsoo right now. So instead, he squares up and pretends to study the door panel. “Just let me know if you’re up for it, and maybe I can drive you there again.”

 

“Really?”

 

The hopeful look he wears kind of breaks Jongin’s heart. “Yeah.” It’s the least he can do for him.

 

-

 

 

 

“Kim Kai reportedly joining Ju Ji-hoon in new action film, to release in spring 2019”

[Photo]

Article : [Exclusive] Kim Kai to co-star with Ju Ji-hoon, movie director Won Tae Shik’s new project after his hit with ‘The Nightwalker’

 

1. [+2,355, -376] Kim Kai and Ju Ji-hoon in one movie? I can die in peace now

2. [+1,843, -220] This movie’s gonna have a hell of visual explosions,

3. [+1042, -702] Another SM kid… I feel bad for Ju Ji-hoon

4. [+750, -87] I wonder what role will it be. Highly anticipating it!

5. [+423, -40] Can SM stop sliding their idols into new acting projects until they at least learn how to act properly…

 

 

 

-

 

Christmas is uneventful, or as uneventful as any other normal day can be for Kyungsoo who spends it cleaning the entire apartment and playing with Winter. LOEY will only be back up on business on the 27th, and tomorrow he will be meeting his doctor.

 

Baekhyun calls him to tell him he’s sleeping over at his place right after Sehun’s filming tonight so they can go to the hospital together tomorrow. Apparently Sehun’s next schedule is on the next day, and it’s a year end music festival. Kyungsoo briefly wonders if Jongin will be there too.

 

With Baekhyun coming over, Kyungsoo tidies up the spare bedroom for him. It’s mostly empty save for the single bed and a closet, and since he doesn’t have a lot of stuffs brought back from his old apartment. This was the room that Kyungsoo had in mind about turning it into a nursery, until Jongin brought up that this is not possibly going to be his permanent home.

 

He still wonders what it means, and the idol himself looked totally reluctant on telling him everything he should know, but Kyungsoo understands the reluctance. In fact, he’s in no place to question anything when he’s being homed for free. Silence is what’s best for him, on both ends.

 

He finishes cleaning up by noon and cooks himself lunch, and after that he’s got nothing much to do in such a spacious house except to play more with Winter and watch the television. The lack of furnishings in the house makes the sounds from the television echo against the walls, and successfully makes Kyungsoo feel so small and alone. Winter is such good company in this moment, but the cat can only do so much. He’s never one for Christmas shopping either so there’s no reason for him to go outside, lacking the money and people to celebrate with for it.

 

At times like this, he would usually put on Kim Kai’s debut album on his phone, but the song that used to comfort him a lot back then fails to do the same this time. So he settles for staring out the window while blowing hot air on his cold palms.

 

It’s snowing.

 

-

 

“Merry Christmas!”

 

Baekhyun attacks him with a hug first thing as Kyungsoo opens the door, almost toppling them both on the floor if it weren’t for Baekhyun steadying him, getting a deadpan from Kyungsoo.

 

“Baek, I’m carrying two kids.”

 

“Oh I know. I bet one of them would take my loudness.”

 

“You’re not even the father, silly,” Kyungsoo chuckles, moving to close the door behind them while Baekhyun coos something to Winter.

 

“I hope they take everything after you and nothing from the actual baby daddy.” Baekhyun grumbles as he takes off his boots.

 

Kyungsoo can only shake his head at him, helping with taking off his coat and holding onto the small paper bag in his hand while the latter gets rid of a sweater he wore underneath the coat. “You really don’t like Jongin, do you? And what’s this?” He hands back the paper bag to him.

 

“Listen, so Sehun had a filming at London and I went shopping there- there’s so much to shop there, though? Like, I’d have bought one thing from one store and then I’d want to buy another thing from the store beside it- it’s heaven. My wallet went through hell for it, though,” Baekhyun blabbers on, putting an amused smile on Kyungsoo’s face as he pads to the kitchen to boil some water. “And! The drugstores there were so nice, you would love it, Kyungsoo. I bought you these!” 

 

The paper bag is handed back to Kyungsoo, so with a smile, the pregnant male takes it and rips the tape off, taking out a box with various brushes neatly arranged. It’s a new makeup brush set. It instantly widens his smile.

 

“You bought me a new brush set?” Kyungsoo studies the box, recognizing the brand. Only one other person would know he likes this brand.

 

“Like it?”

 

He nods, undoing the seal and taking one of the brushes out, feeling the soft bristles against the back of his hand. “I love it already.”

 

Baekhyun smiles cheekily, bringing Winter into his arms so he could annoy her some. The feline hates being held unless she just woke from her nap. “Next time, we’ll bring you there instead.”

 

“We?”

 

“We as in Sehun, Jongdae and me we.” He hears Baekhyun say whilst he goes to his bedroom to place the box of brushes on his dresser. 

 

“Do they let pregnant people fly?”

 

“Of course. Or maybe we’ll wait until the babies are delivered.”

 

As he returns, Baekhyun is seen checking out the fridge and humming to himself. Kyungsoo pinches his waist earning him a yelp before telling him there’s nothing much in the fridge. “Then who’s gonna take care of the babies?” 

 

“You and me take one twin, Sehun and Jongdae take the other. Baby equality.”

 

“You’re ridiculous,” Kyungsoo snorts, checking the cabinet and producing two mugs for the two of them. 

 

“Do you think we get to know their genders tomorrow?” He asks, bringing the kettle over to Kyungsoo who’s pouring chocolate powder into their mugs.

 

“Maybe? If they take the twins’ sonograms again?” Frankly, Kyungsoo’s not sure if he’s ready to know their genders yet, but he’s also partially excited for it. Whichever case it is, he just hopes the kids are equally healthy. He’s read up about some medical complications when it comes to birthing twins, and they’re not always fancy-looking.

 

Baekhyun is looking for teaspoons until Kyungsoo tells him it’s in one of the drawers. The steaming aroma of chocolate wafts in the air, and it’s a shame Kyungsoo’s out of marshmallows. He hasn’t gone grocery shopping for a while. 

 

Settling the two mugs on the bar top, they sit across each other. Baekhyun makes a satisfied noise warming his hands on the outer surface of his mug, and Kyungsoo mimics him, appreciating the warmth. “What was Sehun filming for, by the way? A new drama?”

 

The stylist shakes his head. “It’s for his comeback.”

 

At the mention of a comeback, Kyungsoo gapes. “He’s finally getting a comeback! It’s been like, what, eight months?”

 

“Nine,” Baekhyun corrects him with a grin. “Planned for January release.”

 

“This is great news,” The hairstylist chirps after taking a sip of his hot chocolate. “He must be happy to be on stage again soon.” He watches his best friend avoid his gaze and gulp down his chocolate, and that makes Kyungsoo’s face fall. “I mean, he’s happy, right?”

 

Baekhyun purses his lips, as if deciding whether to lie or not. Baekhyun never lies to him, though. “He is happy about getting a comeback, but he’s also been more aloof these days.”

 

“What happened?”

 

“You happened. He misses working with you.”

 

“Oh,” Kyungsoo offers, not knowing what to say. He’s not sure if Baekhyun actually knows what happened between them, or that the idol harboured some form of crush on him. Or is it harbours… 

 

“And uh, I think he and Jongin are fighting? He never spoke to him whenever we ran into him.” Baekhyun scoffs. “It’s kinda funny. They pretend like they don’t know each other or something when they used to be attached to each other in the hips. Guess work really does drive people apart.”

 

So they really are not talking to each other anymore. Kyungsoo doesn’t plan on commenting on that and quietly drinks his chocolate. He knows it’s not his place, but he does want them to mend their friendship. They’re all working adults now and letting personal matters interfere with maintaining professionalism isn’t very adult-like. Maybe the hard feelings are still there, and to think that they’re from the same agency too…

 

-

 

Dinner that night was Chinese takeout since Kyungsoo has yet to stock up his kitchen and Baekhyun was too tired to go grocery shopping with Kyungsoo since the latter insisted on him not going alone. Kyungsoo shows Baekhyun to the spare room he has prepared for him, but the lack of adjoined bathroom prompts Baekhyun to ask the former to share the bed in his room, and Kyungsoo doesn’t seem to mind, knowing how scared he can get having to get up in the dead of the night to relieve himself in a separate bathroom. 

 

Baekhyun is already changed to his sleepwear and is now perched on one side of the queen bed texting on his phone, Winter on the foot of the bed curled up into a black blob against the blue sheets. Kyungsoo seems to be doing his night routine, and in the midst of it, Baekhyun asks him the time of his appointment, making a mental note to get a cab 30 minutes prior. Taking the bus and having a short walk would’ve spared them some money, but he doesn’t want to risk Kyungsoo getting sore and swollen feet because of the growing belly, and Baekhyun doesn’t own a car yet.

 

Not much later, Kyungsoo also slips in bed with a different blanket for himself, saying that he doesn’t want to risk his bump stealing most of the covers Baekhyun uses as well. 

 

“You just get bigger and bigger.” He comments, outwardly staring at the bump that seems to weigh down the smaller man. He still has no idea how Kyungsoo’s going to pull through in his late third trimester especially. Lord, being pregnant looks scary…

 

“Thanks for the remark,” Kyungsoo says sarcastically, adjusting himself to lean against the headboard and reaching forward to grab his sheets only for his belly to push him back, so with a not so subtle snicker Baekhyun helps spread them up and over the raise of his abdomen, earning a pouty ‘thank you’. 

 

“But your arms are still somewhat skinny,” He pinches Kyungsoo’s upper arm playfully. “You’re like Bella, and the twins are the vampire child taking up everything you eat and you might have to drink blood to make up for the lost nutrients or something.”

 

“I thought you hated Twilight.”

 

“I can hate it but still talk about it.” The stylist shrugs. “And it’s not like Jongin will pull an Edward very soon.”

 

He is mindlessly scrolling through his Instagram feed when he hears a small murmur beside him. “Why do you hate Jongin?”

 

Baekhyun blinks, looking up from his phone and regards the pregnant male thoughtfully. He doesn’t sound defensive, but he’s not too happy either, so Baekhyun speaks his mind. “I don’t hate him. He just rubs me off the wrong way. He even told you to abort the children when you clearly wanted them. That’s low.”

 

“That was in the past,” Comes the rebuttal from the other male, his eyes downcast and fingers playing with the hems of his sheets. “He’s okay now. He’s doing his best.”

 

“Well I better see this ‘doing his best’ even after the twins are born. Simply homing you in a nice apartment isn’t enough. What if he’s that guy who dumps you money so you have to fend on your own taking care of the babies?”

 

Kyungsoo gives him a pointed look as if to tell him he’s too much, so Baekhyun purses his lips and shuts up, and he later sighs. “He even took me to his parents.”

 

“Already?” Baekhyun exclaims not a second after. “Why does this look like it’s headed towards a wedding?”

 

“There is no wedding,” Kyungsoo chuckles. “He just wanted to introduce their future grandchildren.”

 

“And he didn’t perhaps introduce a romantic partner too, now did he? Coz’ I find that entirely possible.”

 

Kyungsoo thins his lips, avoiding his gaze. “He wanted to make the situation more believable, so…”

 

“Believable,” Baekhyun parrots, obviously not liking the notion. “Mommy’s boy’s just afraid of getting disowned.”

 

“Cut him some slack. He’s doing his best.”

 

“Yeah and only you would say that coz’ he’s your idol. Come on, you’re protecting him too much. If I were dumb, I would’ve thought you actually liked him as more than an idol.” Baekhyun prattles on, getting back to his phone to scroll down his feed until he realizes the silence that follows is way too unsettling. “Wait… Kyungsoo, are you serious?”

 

He spares him a long hard look as Kyungsoo silently picks on the stray threads of his sweater, half pouting, and the lack of makeup makes his blush stand out against the paleness of his skin. “He’s been so nice to me…”

 

That’s Kyungsoo for you. That’s Kyungsoo who seeks affection, and gives too much. And while Baekhyun believes Kyungsoo deserves everything the world could offer, for it to be in the form of Jongin doesn’t look very promising. This is going to break him. It’s going to break him real bad.

 

“You’re carrying his kids, Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun begins more softly this time. “And it’s making you think that way. His kindness shouldn’t be misconstructed as affection.”

 

He watches as the pregnant male scoots himself downwards so he can finally lie down, facing Baekhyun. “You worry too much for me.”

 

“Brothers worry for each other.” Baekhyun snorts, watching Kyungsoo’s eyes crinkle into quiet laughter. “And this brother is telling you that Jongin is not the best guy out there.” After that, Kyungsoo just stays quiet, a small smile lingering on his lips as he stares at Baekhyun.

 

“He’s good enough to me, Baekhyun.” Kyungsoo whispers. 

 

-

 

The night is cold, but that’s not why Kyungsoo has not been able to sleep. It’s probably the pregnancy hormones kicking again, because his whole body feels uncomfortable regardless of the many sleeping positions he has attempted. 

 

The phone reads 2.14 a.m.. Unlocking it, he types up a text. 

 

“Thanks for the new brush set, Sehun. They’re beautiful.”

 

“Spot on. Thought baek wld trick u. Glad u like it, tho”

 

The reply is almost instant, and Kyungsoo thinks that maybe the idol has only gotten home from work. His guts were right about the gift not being from Baekhyun. Only Sehun has seen what products and tools the former makeup artist used on him, and from there was how he picked up Kyungsoo’s favorites. He texts a good luck message for his comeback before opening another conversation with a different idol this time.

 

“My next doctor visit is tomorrow.”

 

-

 

“Wow, look at all the snow.”

 

Kyungsoo’s breath fogs the window and he wipes it away, looking outside. Seoul doesn’t see heavy snow on normal occasions, but you still get patches of white here and there. Some street shops are seen having their Christmas promotions and a huge sale, and tons of passerbys seem to have stopped by at a certain Christmas event. 

 

It takes them no longer than 10 minutes to get to the hospital, and Kyungsoo gets out of the cab hugging himself and his two little beans, protecting them from the cold while entering the institution.

 

Their turn comes unexpectedly sooner since there aren’t many expecting parents clocking in their appointment today, it being immediately after Christmas and the festive season is still young.

 

The staff calls them in and updates his weight, blood pressure, gets his urine tested and even measures his abdomen before Dr. Jo comes in. He greets an amicable good morning before taking the notepad, studying Kyungsoo’s updated profile before getting the staff to get something for him. Baekhyun waits on the other side of the room, sitting on a chair while Kyungsoo is on the bed swinging his legs, not as anxious as he should be. The staff returns with an apparatus in her hold, handing it over to the doctor who then approaches Kyungsoo.

 

“This is a handheld Doppler. It’s used to listen to and measure the baby’s heartbeats.” He informs, asking for Kyungsoo to lie down and squeezing a sizeable blob of gel onto his belly right in the midline between his navel and his pubic bone. “As your babies grow, the heartbeats travel higher, so I’m gonna go there.”

 

Kyungsoo waits patiently as he feels the probe pressing on the gelled up area, and as soon as the device is switched on there is this constant swoosh, like the noise the sea waves make. It presses harder against the spot, painless but also a little uncomfortable until a steady rhythm is heard, but it sounds really rapid, as if someone just ran a marathon.

 

“It’s so rapid…?”

 

“That’s normal. Baby one has normal heartbeats.” Dr. Jo says, moving the probe slowly upwards and to the side and the beats die down and is replaced by the swoosh again. “Now, we’re looking for the other baby.”

 

It’s taken them a good 5 minutes to find the other baby, with the doctor explaining that it’s possible that the previous twin overlaps the other one. Kyungsoo almost panicked until a very faint but steadily rapid rhythm is heard. 

 

“Both of them are doing well,” Says Dr. Jo, turning off the Doppler and having Kyungsoo’s belly be wiped off from the excess gel. It smells like aloe vera. “Dr. Gong will take your sonogram.”

 

-

 

Contrary to both him and Baekhyun’s hopes of learning their genders today, unfortunately Dr. Gong tells them the babies don’t spread their legs wide enough for them to see their s. So they wrapped it up after learning of how big they’ve gotten and confirming that they indeed share the same placenta, but not the same sac. One of them wiggles around a lot while the other is as still as a lake, nonetheless both appear to be of the same sizes and are healthy.

 

Kyungsoo remembers Amber’s words from back on his first day working at LOEY, and it prompts him to ask the doctor about it afterwards. He tells Dr. Jo about the new job and what it entails, while also including the very question about the chemical fumes he will be constantly surrounded by. 

 

Dr. Jo says that as long as it doesn’t end up in his gastrointestinal tract, then he’ll be fine. There has been no study that proves that those chemical fumes from those products are any hazardous to the baby as much as they are to the skin. He just told him to make sure to wear gloves when handling those chemicals, and he should be fine.

 

“Though I would suggest you request for one or two months leave before your due date. Around…” The doctor trails off while checking his profile as well as the calendar. “The end of March.”

 

Kyungsoo stares at him dumfoundedly, not expecting to have to take that long of a break when he barely just begun working there. “That early?”

 

“Trust me, Mr. Doh. You wouldn’t be as energetic by the time you hit your third trimester. You need all the rest you can before the onset of your labour. In the meantime, you can come up with a suitable birth plan and talk to your insurers.”

 

-

 

“Swear to god your twins take after your shyness,” Baekhyun mutters once they’re checked out and are having lunch at the cafe next to the hospital. “We could’ve celebrated their gender reveal along with Christmas but nah.”

 

“One of them looks active,” Kyungsoo says in between bites of his spaghetti. “And I’m not that shy.”

 

“Of course you’re not, that’s how you ended up pregnant.”

 

Kyungsoo fights the blush from making its way to his face. “That’s just liquid courage…”

 

“That’s what they all say,” Baekhyun shrugs, sending a knowing smile Kyungsoo’s way. “Just that this time you forgot the most important rubber.”

 

At the blatant suggestion, Kyungsoo drops his spoon on his plate pointedly. “Baekhyun, we’re eating.”

 

That earns him a cheeky grin from the other male and Kyungsoo thought the topic’s completely dropped over lunch until Baekhyun whispers a practice safe , kids before drinking his tea.

 

They go grocery shopping together afterwards, with plans on making use of that oven in Kyungsoo’s apartment to bake lasagna, as per Baekhyun’s suggestion. Kyungsoo also takes the chance to stock up his kitchen again, enough to at least last him a week or two. His cravings have also started kicking in and he finds himself adding more into his cart and hopes not to gape at the check out later.

 

-

 

Jongin is set to open the next day’s year end show in a collaborative performance with someone from another agency, and it requires new routines he has to learn in over 3 days. While that shouldn’t be a problem for a professional dancer like him, it still poses exhaustion for him having to perfect it in less than 72 hours. He stays behind to practice more hours than he should, but it’s not like he has any other schedule to attend otherwise. His new movie will only begin filming next year, and script reading won’t happen until January.

 

It’s been 5 hours since he’s holed up in the practice room after lunch, and after another hour at the gym he finally asks Junmyeon to pick him up. 

 

“Do you know where to get nice steamed sweet potatoes around here?” He asks once he’s inside the van.

 

“Are you going on a sweet potato diet now?”

 

“It’s not for me.”

 

Sending him a short knowing glance, his manager then directs the driver to stop by a certain place to get just what Jongin asks for. He’s not even poking fun at the idol for it anymore, probably catching how Jongin looks immensely tired. 

 

“Do you want us to drop you off there?” Junmyeon asks as soon as he’s gotten the sweet potatoes.

 

Jongin grabs the front of his shirt and takes a sniff, not pleased with it and certainly will not show up in this state. “Take me home first. I’ll drive there.”

 
-

 

Kyungsoo and Baekhyun has just finished baking their lasagna by the time the former receives an incoming call. Baekhyun tells him to get it while he deals with the lasagna, transferring it onto a square plate and placing it on the table. He gets more plates and cutleries for them and waits for Kyungsoo to end his call so they can dig in together, but Baekhyun can’t help but to steal a cherry tomato for himself.

 

“Who called?” He asks once he sees Kyungsoo ending the call and staring at his phone, before looking up at him. 

 

“Jongin said he’s coming.”

 

Baekhyun his head to the side in amusement, stealing another cherry tomato and whistling once. “Whew, baby daddy’s really doing his job.”

 

-

 

With a towel hung around his waist, Jongin checks his fridge to see some leftovers of last night’s dinner and decides to finish that for tonight, but only after he’s delivered the sweet potatoes to a certain someone. His hair is still a little wet from his shower, but at least he doesn’t smell like sweat anymore. Putting on a blue tee and a pair of sweats, he grabs his car keys and leaves. 

 

While he does have access into the residence, he doesn’t have one for parking so he parks just outside the residence and makes his way inside. He fixes his mouth mask and lowers his cap while waiting for the elevator, and when it dings he keeps his gaze downcast while waiting for the lady- man- wait, lady beside him to enter the lift. She has a short-trimmed hair and doesn’t dress like a typical lady so he almost mistook her as a man.

 

The lady nods and presses for number 9, then turns to face Jongin. “Which floor?”

 

“Um, eleventh. Thanks.” He speaks without removing the mouth mask. The lady presses the said number before taking a step back, letting the doors close. 

 

It’s a rather silent ride and Jongin can feel his muscles ache from his workout, prompting him to stretch his neck this way and that before facing up and sighing. He doesn’t notice the lady has looked up from her phone to stare at him.

 

“Sorry, but you look kinda familiar.”

 

Jongin feels his heart stop and whips his head around to her scrutinizing face. “What?”

 

“You look familiar. Are you a new resident here?”

 

“Um, no…” He lies. Is his disguise not convincing enough for her to say that?

 

“Oh, must’ve never came across you before. My name’s—” Her phone rings before she could finish her sentence, and she apologizes saying that she has to take this call. “Yeah?… No, I told Key to take her coz’ I’ve got something else in the morning… You can also give it to our newbie, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind… Just let him know to be there before 8…”

 

The elevator soon stops at her floor and she gets off while still being on the phone, and Jongin quickly presses the close button and heaves out a sigh. That was close. He almost has to introduce himself to her. Why couldn’t she just mind her own business?

 

As he reaches his floor, he looks around for a bit before racing to Kyungsoo’s unit, a little paranoid now of being recognized. He presses the doorbell and waits for the intercom to come on, and when it does, the voice doesn’t sound like Kyungsoo.

 

“Is that Jongin?”

 

“Um yes, it’s me,” He answers anyway. Not a second later, the door is opened to reveal a… not Kyungsoo. “What are you doing here?” Baekhyun doesn’t look very pleased to see him, but when has he ever? 

 

“I’m about to leave.”

 

-

 

Baekhyun has all his stuff packed and his shoelaces tied when the doorbell rang. He got to it first before Kyungsoo, and when the latter tells him to let him in, Baekhyun wants him to wait inside. “Can I talk to you for a bit?”

 

Jongin shrugs, removing his mask. “I guess.”

 

He rests his side against the doorframe without closing the door, since Kyungsoo hasn’t told him his entry passcode. “To be frank, I don’t like you.”

 

Jongin blinks. “Okay so what’s with you and Sehun’s whole team not liking me? If it’s just because I got him pr—”

 

“Just? My dude, my guy, that’s the only reason we don’t like you but before you stop me and argue, let me finish myself,” Baekhyun holds up a hand when Jongin opens his mouth, and watches him close it back albeit annoyingly. “Are you aware of his long-standing support towards you and your career?”

 

Jongin doesn’t immediately answer, and Baekhyun sees him looking past his shoulder and presumably at the pregnant male sitting in the living room, most probably mindful for his answer. “What’s with it?”

 

“Do you plan on doing something about that?”

 

“That’s,” Jongin returns to looking at the stylist before him. “That’s between us. You don’t need to police me and the things I do between us.”

 

“Police you?” Baekhyun scoffs. “Listen Jongin, I - we - are trying to protect him but you know what he’s doing? He’s protecting you. Has always been. And only God knows if he forgave you for putting him through all that emotional just coz’ you want to save your ing job while you robbed him off from his job and his life for putting two kids in him.”

 

While Baekhyun is feeling all heated, the idol only looks bored and unamused as he holds up the plastic bags in his hand. “Are you done? Coz’ I gotta bring these sweet potatoes to him before they get cold.”

 

Baekhyun can only scoff in disbelief while the idol pushes his way through and into the house, not once having the door disrespectfully shut in his face his entire life. He’s gotta thank SM for assigning him to work for Sehun instead of Jongin.

 

“Wow, . What the does Kyungsoo see in him?”

 

-

 

Jongin’s head hurts after that encounter with Overprotective Person Number Two. People keep talking to him as if he doesn’t know any better. “Well I ing learnt, alright.”

 

“Sorry?”

 

He startles at the sight of Kyungsoo before him, a smile so apparent and bright, as if Jongin’s presence was something he looked forward to. “Nothing.” He’s wearing one of the shirts the idol gifted to him, it hugging the roundness of his belly, and all Jongin can think about is how they both are going to be parents. Real soon.

 

“What did Baekhyun say to you? I hope he wasn’t being rude to you…” He frowns, seeming genuinely concerned. “God, I’m sorry if he was rude to you.” 

 

It’s still a lot to swallow for him, and even though it won’t happen until 5 months later, it still feels like life is speeding without his consent. It’s only been three days since they last saw each other, and they have been keeping in touch by texts and calls, yet there’s this overwhelming relief at having seen the elder male in the flesh, as if coming home after a long and tiring day at work.

 

Home… Is Kyungsoo home? Has Jongin really been that lonely working long hours and returning to his apartment to sleep for him to delude a person as home?

 

“Kyungsoo,” Jongin breathes, taking that one step into the living room to approach the pregnant male, closer to his winter sunset-

 

“Uhm, sh-shoes.”

 

The idol blinks in his haze. “What?”

 

“Please take off your shoes first…” Kyungsoo says a little more nervously, prompting Jongin to look down at his shoes that are most certainly within the living area now, leaving a wet trail behind after stepping on snow. 

 

“Oh right, uh, sorry.” He quickly goes back to the entryway to take off his shoes before finally coming up to Kyungsoo, both of them stuck in a sheepish mood until Jongin hands over the bag. “Sweet potatoes?”

 

“Sweet potatoes?” Kyungsoo parrots, taking the bag and looking into the bag, smiling. “For me?”

 

“Well if Winter eats it as well then I guess you can share.” Jongin’s nonchalant response earns him a light chuckle. 

 

“This is a lot, though…” The elder male mumbles to himself before bringing them over to the kitchen, Jongin soon trailing after him and finding himself a stool for him to sit by the bar while Kyungsoo searches for something in the cabinet. 

 

“How did your doctor visit go?” He cards his fingers through his damp hair, not having spared any time to blowdry it back at his place. It wasn’t like he was rushing anyway, just that it’s already 10 p.m. and the idea of imposing on someone’s home at this kind of time seems… rather inappropriate. 

 

“It was okay,” Answers the male a little distractedly, placing the sweet potatoes on a square plate and bringing it over to the bartop before seating himself. He picks one for himself, peeling the skin enough for him to take a bite. “It’s warm now.”

 

“Yeah, sorry about that.” Jongin eventually takes one for himself as well after having the plate be pushed towards him in a silent invitation. 

 

“Have you had dinner?” Kyungsoo asks in between his bites. 

 

“Actually, no. I’m headed back after this for late dinner.”

 

Silence engulfs them for a while until Kyungsoo speaks up again. “Do- Do you like lasagna?” It has Jongin looking up from his almost finished sweet potato. “We baked a lot just now…”

 

“You baked?”

 

“Yeah. Me and Baekhyun. Would you like it? I can heat it up for you,” Kyungsoo offers, looking rather hopeful. “Or are you perhaps on a diet?”

 

“No,” He actually is. “Go ahead and heat it up for me?” He says, watching the elder male light up and getting off his seat to pad into the kitchen. Cute.

 

The lasagna is, expectedly, rich and fattening but it’s also delicious and Jongin’s hungry so he sweeps the entire plate almost immediately. Kyungsoo stays sitting across of him and eats more of the sweet potato, and he beams when the idol verbalizes his liking for the lasagna. 

 

This feels awfully domestic, in Jongin’s opinion. And Kyungsoo looks happy. Jongin asks him if the doctor told him anything, since that is the prime reason he’s here anyway. The pregnant male tells him the twins are doing fine, and that one of them looked excited. Jongin’s not sure how a foetus can look excited inside a womb but he’s not an expert anyway. Kyungsoo also tells him that the doctor advised him to gain more weight. Again. Maybe the elder male isn’t getting as big as he should be.

 

Kyungsoo then brings up about nicknaming the foetuses as per Baekhyun’s suggestion, and Jongin wonders if there has been anything remotely important that comes out of his best friend’s mouth. 

 

“Moana.”

 

Jongin looks up from his drink. “As in from that Disney movie? Two Moanas?”

 

Kyungsoo shakes his head. “And Maui.”

 

He almost splutters his drink, sending a wide-eyed look Kyungsoo’s way. “Wait, we’re having a boy and a girl?” Also… isn’t Maui a… demigod?

 

“I don’t know what their genders are for now… I just wanna call them that.” Kyungsoo looks bluntly serious and Jongin’s not sure how to react. 

 

“Is it because they were conceived in Hawaii?”

 

“…Sort of?”

 

Kyungsoo seems keen on nicknaming them as such, so maybe Jongin feels a little bad having to break the little bubble. “But Moana’s not from Hawaii.” He watches Kyungsoo’s face fall as he mumbles a she’s not? and there goes another thing to add on the list of things Jongin should’ve thought first before he spoke.

 

“Then where is she from?”

 

Jongin shrugs, because in truth he doesn’t know either. “She’s definitely Polynesian, though. But I mean go ahead I guess—”

 

“It’s okay,” Kyungsoo says, a little dejected. “I’ll stick with beans. Or strawberries.”

 

Oh. Plural. “Well uh, I’m sorry.” It’s Jongin’s turn to feel bashful. “And I’m also sorry for calling it an… alien… back when we didn’t know you’d be having twins…” Back when he refused to claim it as his child, more like it.

 

“You called your own child an alien,” Kyungsoo breaks into laughter, hiding his face into his arms as his shoulders shake. Well, at least Kyungsoo’s not sulky anymore, he thinks, as he eases a smile himself. 

 

The growing night finds heavier snowing and denser fog, not making it safe for driving. Kyungsoo suggests to wait it out, and despite his weak protests about his apartment being close, Jongin is a little tired from today, so he stays.

 

“Do you have work in the morning?” Kyungsoo asks, and Jongin responds with a shake of the head as he lays on the couch, his eyes closed. He can hear tinkling of bells, and when he opens his eyes he’s greeted by the sight of Kyungsoo staring out the glass, fascinated, his bump getting in the way of him pressing his front completely against it. 

 

He checks his phone only to find out it’s dead, and he could’ve asked Kyungsoo if he can borrow his charger but he can’t be bothered. So he resumes closing his eyes and takes a deep breath. 

 

He’s protecting you. Has always been.

 

“Kyungsoo,” He calls. “When you said you’ve been a fan of me for a while, how long is ‘a while’?”

 

There it is again, the blush on his cheeks whenever this subject arises. “You’re going to think I’m creepy.”

 

“How long is ‘a while’?” Jongin repeats himself more assertively this time.

 

“…Since debut,” Comes the response just shy above a whisper, and something looks off.

 

“Are you sure?”

 

It probably ticks him off, because Kyungsoo marches away from the living area and presumably into his bedroom, leaving Jongin alone with Winter and the hushed noises from the television. He releases a sigh, looking out the glass and at the falling snow. Did I offend him…?

 

He sighs again, wondering just how many times he has offended the other male. Must be a lot, considering his ever lagging brain to mouth filter. 

 

Maybe he should see himself out once the snow dies down or something, and just text Kyungsoo later to say that he’s sorry. With that in mind, he’s about to get up but is stopped short when Kyungsoo steps out of his room, but that’s not the reason Jongin is struck dumb.

 

Kyungsoo has a navy school jacket, overlaid and ed. A very, very familiar one.

 

“We met,” He says softly, thumbing the buttons in small movements. “But you moved.”

 

Jongin tries to dig into his memories of ever having met him, but he can’t quite find it. High school is old memories, and old memories don’t serve the best recollection. 

 

“You probably don’t remember anymore, but there was a time you asked for my help to do your makeup for a dance recital. You, a renowned trainee then. Although the day never came, you made me feel happy about doing people’s makeovers, about making them feel better and more confident of themselves. You made me chase a dream that I thought would just be buried… I- I’ve liked you since then, Jongin.”