Monochromatic Hearts

 

 

 

Kyungsoo eyes the rain pouring outside, wondering when it will start snowing. 

 

The weather forecast expected it to snow today, but it doesn’t seem likely with how heavy the rain is pouring at the moment. Kyungsoo eats his warm oatmeal in silence as he watches the anchorwoman reads today’s news about the national college entrance exams.

 

The biting cold has him turning up the heater, even soaking through his already socked feet and now his toes are feeling a little numb. He grabs his baby pink cardigan and wears it over his turtleneck before again wearing a long coat over his layers in hope to keep warm. Winter can be seen curling up close to where the heater is placed, napping soundly. Kyungsoo makes sure her food bowl is full before he’s off to work. 

 

It only takes two stops by bus since it really is that close. By foot, it will probably take less than 15 minutes, but the weather doesn’t permit so Kyungsoo finds himself waiting at the bus stop, watching the pedestrians brave through the rain to get somewhere. Some even take shelter under the roof of the bus stop and now it’s getting a little saturated Kyungsoo hopes they’re not taking the same bus.

 

In the bus, thankfully Kyungsoo manages to get a seat for himself. He takes his earphones out and is just about to plug them in when the radio in the bus just so plays one of Oh Sehun’s tracks. It’s a little nostalgic, listening to the idol he used to work for and who just happens to, sort of, like him in that manner. Kyungsoo wonders why he can’t feel the same way towards him. There’s a saying that once you find out a person crushes on you, the chances of you falling for them in return is high too.

 

Sehun has been nothing but kind to him. He can’t remember the idol having ever yelled or reprimanded him for anything. Sehun is chill most of the time, compared to a certain slightly hot-headed, slightly panicky, mostly confused male idol. Kyungsoo wonders if things would be different if he were to have Sehun’s kids instead, but he brushes the thought away as soon as it comes because he can’t ever picture himself having engaged with him. 

 

Well, he wouldn’t for the life of him imagine having with Jongin either but certainly an imagination isn’t necessary when it already took place. 

 

Kyungsoo’s cheeks grow warm so he quickly places his cold palms on them and wills this train of thought to just disappear. He almost misses his stop too until he sees people getting up from their seats to exit the bus. 

 

-

 

“Good morning,” He greets the receptionist girl, Bora who looks up with a smile.

 

“Morning. You’re early.” She says before sipping on her coffee to go. Kyungsoo’s pretty sure he saw a coffee shop a few units away from the salon and makes a mental note of checking out if they have some baked goods or cakes. “Wanna take the first client? It’s,” She checks the register in the desktop. “At 9.”

 

Kyungsoo pauses, resting his hands on the counter. “I get to choose my client?”

 

“Yes, no, not really. Most of the times clients want the same stylist who’s worked on their hair before, but if the stylist’s busy with another client, then they don’t really get a choice. Some clients don’t mind, though.” Bora studies her nails before smiling up at him. “Amber’s not here yet. Kibum usually gets in a little after noon unless it’s full house.”

 

Kyungsoo hesitates. As much as he’s excited to get his first client, he still isn’t well oriented in this place and how things work. “Can we wait for Amber?”

 

“Not a problem. Oh right!” Bora exclaims before getting up from her seat and reaching for the top cabinet just beside the reception counter. “Chanyeol dropped off your apron before going to a convention. Here.” 

 

She hands him a neatly wrapped article and Kyungsoo can see his name stitched in white on the black apron as well as the brand name ‘LOEY’ at the top center of it. Thrilled, he unwraps it and puts it on, patting the pockets on his hips meant for temporarily storing tools. He’s a hairstylist now.

 

“You can ask Momo or Sana for stools if you get tired standing.” Bora points out to the prominent bump underneath Kyungsoo’s apron. “Working with that can’t be easy.”

 

Kyungsoo almost wants to retaliate to her for sounding a little condescending talking about his children like that but then he guesses she meant the physical load rather than the babies he’s carrying. So he just stays quiet and ties the laces of his apron on his back before going to the tools section of the department. They’re seemingly clean and are ready at the hairdressers’ disposal anytime.

 

“If you get a client, make sure to keep the 4th chair empty,” Bora calls out. “They’re for freelancers. Don’t usually come, though…” The last part is mumbled with a little drip of sarcasm.

 

“Good morning, Kyungsoo!” A chirpy voice greets and he turns to see it is one of the assistants, and her apron reads ‘Sana’. Her friend comes up to him too, looking as exhilarated as the other. Kyungsoo manages an awkward smile as they both blabber about Sehun and their profound love for him. “So who’s working for him now?”

 

“Uhm, Sunny is.” Kyungsoo answers mutely, his eyes distractedly looking around the interior of the salon since he didn’t get to properly look yesterday during the short tour Chanyeol gave him. The guy at the nail department, called Zitao or something, seems bored as he does his own nails while bobbing his head to some music he’s listening to in his earpods. 

 

Soon Amber makes her way inside and removes her coat, humming to the hip hop song currently being played in the entire salon. She notices Kyungsoo and instantly smiles. “Hey, new buddy.”

 

“Hi,” Kyungsoo returns a meek nod, watching her putting on her apron and taking the tools from the hair table. Momo and Sana have fled somewhere, most probably to start working. 

 

“Ready for your first client?” She looks at the digital clock reading 8.47 before calling for Bora if their first client has arrived. Kyungsoo told her he’d rather see her doing the first client so he can learn. “Sure thing. Those two loudmouths said you used to work for Sehun?”

 

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo chuckles nervously.

 

“Must be nice, huh?” Amber remarks, dropping a look at his bump. “And how many months?”

 

“3 and a half.”

 

“Will you be okay working here? I mean, those chemicals,” She makes a grimace and half-shrugs.

 

Kyungsoo shakes his head at her. “I’m not very worried about that. I take my vitamins every morning so I’d feel less nauseous throughout the day.”

 

“The smell is the least of my concerns, what I’m worried about is if the chemical fumes are hazardous for the baby.” Amber says. “Usually once our workers find out they’re expecting, they resign and rest at home.”

 

This has Kyungsoo temporarily thinking. Do these fumes affect the foetal development? He knows basics that smoking and alcohol consumption does, but he isn’t sure about the chemical fumes here. Maybe he should bring this up to his doctor in his next visit.

 

“But I guess since Chanyeol lets you work here, he probably knows that you’ll be fine.” She further adds, checking for her own appearance in the mirror and fixing her bangs before returning to Kyungsoo with a smile. “Have fun. Talk. Take your time, yeah?”

 

-

 

Kyungsoo’s first client is a little girl, no more than age 6. She came right after preschool and her mother wants her to have an adorable bob cut with the trendy choppy bangs. She has naturally curly hair tied up into pigtails and Kyungsoo looks at her fondly while laying the haircutting cape over her torso. 

 

“I would prefer it shorter so I don’t have to bring her so soon to trim it once it gets longer again,” The mother quickly says before going back to her phone call. Kyungsoo obliges and removes the hairbands from the little girl’s hair.

 

“What’s your name?” He asks softly. 

 

“Jinri,” She mumbles, fussing with the cape before staying still. “Can I bring the hair home with me?”

 

Kyungsoo cards his fingers through the hair, wondering if he should have it washed first or straight away get into cutting. “No you can’t, sweetheart. It’s dirty once it hits the ground.”

 

“Oh,” She deflates, pouting cutely. Kyungsoo smiles. He escorts her to the shampooing room where Momo is sorting towels. When she comes back with her hair wet, he begins his work. 

 

“Do you have siblings, Jinri?”

 

She perks up. “I have a baby brother! He’s so wrinkly and cries a lot. Mom said he’ll be big like me soon.”

 

Kyungsoo has a lot of fun talking with her while he carefully trims her hair. She shuts her eyes really tight when he works on her bangs, and snip goes the hair, falling down the cape and onto the floor. Soon it reaches the desired length and after having blown, it bounces adorably every time the girl moves her head. 

 

“Mom, look at my hair!” 

 

Kyungsoo watches her mom pat her head once and smiles up at him, mouthing a thank you before ushering Jinri with her to the reception for payment. The little girl looks back and gives a tiny wave at him to which he returns with a beam before dropping his hand to his stomach.

 

It would be nice if Kyungsoo can play with his children’s hair too.

 

-

 

“can u request for a leave on 23rd thru 24th”

 

Kyungsoo reads while snacking on his muesli bar. Amber had invited her to go up to the break room since there’s only one client on the 12pm session and she’s currently being handled by Kibum while Amber ordered some takeaway chicken for lunch.

 

“What is it for?”

 

“Has Sehun ever dated?” Amber asks casually and he almost drops his phone, staring at her in surprise.

 

“Uhm, n-not that I know of in the time that I worked with him?”

 

“Those two have been pestering me to ask you about him. I could care less, honestly,” Amber says, gesturing downstairs and Kyungsoo can only assume she’s talking about the two assistants. She takes a seat on the couch across the one Kyungsoo’s seated and crosses her legs. “Although, I am interested in the peanut there.” She points to Kyungsoo’s growing tummy with apparent interest. “Have you found out if it’s gonna be a boy or a girl yet?”

 

Kyungsoo chuckles, resting a palm on his belly softly. “I kinda want both, but the doctor said they might be identical.”

 

The female hairstylist gapes. “You’re joking.”

 

“Am not,” His laugh grows louder when Amber literally squeals and gushes about how much she loves children and hopes Kyungsoo will bring them over sometimes for her to play with. She apparently lives in the same apartment Kyungsoo’s staying at, and for a moment he thinks the unit number she mentioned sounds familiar but Kyungsoo can’t for the life of him remember why it is.

 

Her phone rings a while after that, and she rushes down to take their chicken, leaving Kyungsoo alone in the room. He checks his lockscreen if he’s received any reply from the idol. 

 

“meeting my family. will drop u a call after work”

 

-

 

Jongin’s throat is itchy by the time his vocal tutor dismissed him, a little earlier too because of it since they find no use in training if Jongin’s not in a good condition. He keeps popping his diphenhydramine lozenges in hope it will let up soon but now he’s starting to cough a little sputum and these lozenges aren’t the most helpful for respiratory infections. 

 

Junmyeon offers to bring him to the hospital but the idol insists for over-the-counter meds since going to the hospital would be too much of a fuss. After getting the meds and returning to the van, Jongin promptly takes the cough syrup and has little expectation of going through the day without being somewhat sluggish. He still has his dance practice tonight but he’ll probably skip out on workout afterwards and just head home to rest. 

 

“You’re taking it, right?” Junmyeon asks once his dance practice is over and they’re both in the van.

 

“Yeah. Is it on March?”

 

“Filming starts February. Gosh, you’re forgetting things these days.”

 

“Sorry, I just—” Jongin presses his fingers on his nose bridge, his eyes closed as he leans back on the chair.

 

“A lot to think about, I know. Just let me know if you need help in anything,” Junmyeon says and then adds. “But I can’t really help in regards to the journalists. That’s really up to you.”

 

Jongin’s head hurts at the mere mention of those so called journalists. They dig up dirt and mock people for some measly clicks knowing the emotional investment most of the public have over their celebrities, especially ones with fanbases that can compete with the nation’s population. 

 

“Oh by the way, I met with Mr. Shin while you had your vocal class. It’s delivered at your apartment already. I checked everything for you. Gas tank’s full. No defects.”

 

“Mr. Shin?” Jongin an eyebrow at him, not having heard of such name his entire life.

 

Without a word, Junmyeon fishes something out of his backpack and dangles the keys in Jongin’s face. “Your third baby.”

 

Flushing at his manager’s words, Jongin huffily snatches the keys out of his hand and studies it.

 

“Still don’t get why you picked an SUV, to be honest,” Junmyeon wonders with a snicker. “You come off as a sports car type of person. Or sedan.”

 

“Well, stop judging my taste in cars?” Jongin jests and then coughs pathetically, pocketing his new car keys before checking his phone. 

 

“New father mindset,” Junmyeon fakes a sob. Jongin wishes he could be home sooner.

 

-

 

Kyungsoo has been chewing on his lower lip, sitting on his couch with his phone in his hand as he not so watches the television. It’s been 3 hours since he got off work and he had a total of 4 new clients on his first day. Kyungsoo’s beginning to like his new job. 

 

Right now, he’s just a little antsy waiting for Jongin to dial him and grace him with an explanation because Kyungsoo has completely forgotten about Jongin’s immediate family and now with the twins, there really is no such thing as avoiding them. They’re about to welcome two new additions to the Kims and Kyungsoo’s terribly anxious if they won’t like him. 

 

He scoops his soggy cereal and continues to wait, this time staring at Winter who’s running around chasing the plastic ball. Thankfully the feline didn’t catch any fever and is now adjusting well to her new home. 

 

When his phone finally rings, he fumbles with it before finally sliding on the screen to answer it. “H-Hello?”

 

“Kyungsoo. It’s me.”

 

“I know.” He bites his lower lip, breathing out a chuckle. “You always say that.”

 

“Say what?”

 

“‘Kyungsoo, it’s me.’” He parrots him albeit a little embarrassingly. “You always say that…”

 

“Oh.” He goes quiet on the line for a while, and Kyungsoo can hear him cough in the distance. “How are you? How’s your new job going?”

 

“Great, and I uh, talked to Chanyeol about it. He said I can have my leave,” He didn’t have to plead much for it since it’s around Christmas break anyway. “So…” He trails off expectantly.

 

“So we’re meeting my family.”

 

“Okay…”

 

“I mean, you saw that coming, right?”

 

“Totally,” He outright lies. “Of course I did.”

 

“…Sorry, it’s just-”

 

“The babies. Yeah, I get it.” Kyungsoo mutters. “They’re yours too, so of course you’ll have to introduce me to them… at some point…”

 

“You’ll be fine,” Kyungsoo hears him say, resolved, tired. And he hears it again, the coughing.

 

“Are you okay, Jongin?” He asks worriedly.

 

“Caught a little cold. Should be fine in a day or two.” He breathes out another cough before getting back. “Gonna hang up now. Will call you again.”

 

-

 

Neat. Kyungsoo should look neat and clean, but approachable. He figures he should leave most of his makeup behind and just bring the basics. He’s so nervous. Should he bring a luggage? They’re just staying for one night, though. Maybe the duffel bag is enough. He leaves Winter with today’s portion of wet food and another bowl full of kibbles for the night and tomorrow. 

 

Junmyeon picked him up from his apartment and drove him over to Jongin’s since having Jongin picking Kyungsoo up at his place would have called for unnecessary attention. The manager drove all the way up to the residence parking and Kyungsoo expected Jongin to get in the car with them but then Junmyeon told him he can get out now.

 

“Jongin’s waiting for you,” He gestures to a red Mercedes - an SUV? - outside and as if noting their arrival, the driver’s door opens and Jongin steps out of it in his blue jeans and a simple white tee. He’s not putting on his mouth mask or a cap so Kyungsoo guesses it’s safe for him to get out as well. As soon as Jongin transfers Kyungsoo’s bags from Junmyeon’s car trunk to his, the manager immediately drove off since apparently he has his own personal obligations to attend to. 

 

“You can sit in front.” The idol says, and his voice sounds better now, before going back to his seat and Kyungsoo quickly clambers up to the car and gets inside. His nostrils are immediately probed with the smell of the interior and from what he can tell, it smells new?

 

“I didn’t know you own a car,” He mimics Jongin putting on his seat belt.

 

He smoothly drives round to the exit and out of the block. “Just bought it.” 

 

“…An SUV,” Kyungsoo regards, watching Jongin work the steering wheel absentmindedly.

 

“What’s wrong with an SUV?” The idol groans out, and Kyungsoo jumps thinking he must have offended him.

 

“I’m sorry…”

 

The deep sigh the idol releases isn’t exactly the most comforting. “I’m more of a sports car type of person, huh?”

 

Kyungsoo doesn’t answer and silently fiddles with the belt against his chest, fearing the idol is not in a good mood. 

 

“I can’t possibly drive that around without getting eyes on me.”

 

“I- I like it,” Kyungsoo utters, chancing a glance the idol’s way. 

 

“Glad you do, I guess,” The idol hums. “Might find yourself in here more times than you think.”

 

-

 

He’s been driving for over an hour now with the radio keeping him awake, and the male beside him has been real quiet Jongin almost thinks he has fallen asleep. 

 

“Do your parents know about me?”

 

Jongin hears him ask, his voice almost muted above the volume of the music he’s playing in the car. “Of course, they do. I kinda told them.” When he called his mom the night after that meeting with the higher management, his mom thought he was joking for a second until she realized he didn’t laugh with her. Jongin was half expecting her to lash out at him but then he remembered that his mom isn’t that kind of person. Maybe she was disappointed, but she didn’t tell him that when she quietly said bring him to meet us.

 

“How did they react to it?” Kyungsoo asks.

 

Jongin can feel the elder male’s stare on him, but he doesn’t take his eyes off the road. “Are you asking that out of curiosity or worry?”

 

“…Both?” Kyungsoo replies. 

 

“My mom, she’s… calm,” Jongin says truthfully. “That’s all I can tell. Not sure about my dad but he’s a pretty chill man so I’m not worried much about him.”

 

They’re accompanied by silence once again save for the radio, and when Jongin peeks a look beside him, Kyungsoo is seen looking out the window, his two hands fidgeting on his lap in what seems to be anxiety. He breathes out a sigh and gets his attention back on the road. 

 

“Do you need a toilet break?”

 

Kyungsoo turns to look at him. “What?”

 

Flicking the turn signals, Jongin carefully makes his way into the lane leading to a rest area by the freeway. “Coz’ I’m gonna catch a quick five.”

 

-

 

The car revs to a stop but no one moves after that.

 

“You don’t need your toilet break?” Jongin asks, getting his seat pushed back so he can lie on it to take his much deserved nap. He hasn’t had proper sleep since that meeting, but then again he’s never had much rest these few weeks. 

 

“I actually do…” He hears the elder male say. 

 

“Then, go on. I’ll just be here.” Resting his hands on his middle, Jongin closes his eyes, listening to the car door opening and closing. He isn’t worried about people seeing him since he’s gotten his windows tinted (Junmyeon’s specific request, oh what would he truly do without him). 

 

It’s probably 10 minutes after when Kyungsoo finally gets back inside, but he doesn’t just bring himself back. “I- I thought you might need it.” He says as he hands a cup of coffee to Jongin who rouses from his mini nap.

 

“What would you do if I didn’t want it?” The cup reads vanilla latte in some waiter’s handwriting. In Kyungsoo’s other hand is a bottle of mineral water, most probably for himself.

 

“Then I’d have to drink it myself.”

 

“But you can’t take coffee.” Jongin deadpans.

 

“That’s… right,” Kyungsoo mumbles away. 

 

Jongin sips on it and once he finds it nice enough so his tongue doesn’t burn, he downs almost half of it. “But you knew what I liked anyway, so.” He scoffs, not missing Kyungsoo’s coloured cheeks as he places the cup into the holder.

 

“I also bought this for you,” He hands him the small box and Jongin takes it, giving a look at him as he opens it. It’s a slice of cake, with a strawberry on top of the icing. “Happy sixth debut anniversary.”

 

“Oh,” Jongin exclaims, picking the strawberry and popping it into his mouth. “Thanks.” He had almost forgotten what occasion today is, with his mind being taken up mostly by his whole situation and going back to his family home. He forgot it’s been six years ever since he made his debut as an artist, and four more of his training period. He’s been Kim Kai for six long years, and hopefully counting. “You knew I liked strawberries too.” He grabs the plastic fork tucked by the box and tastes the cake. 

 

“Is- Is it good?” Kyungsoo asks instead, obviously deflecting from his fan status. Jongin nods his answer and offers some to him, only to get a shake of the head and being told to have it all since it’s for you. So Jongin finishes the whole thing right then and there since he’s kinda hungry anyway.

 

Trashing the box later, Jongin puts his seatbelt on and gets them out of the parking lot. “Really, thanks for that. For remembering.”

 

“I’ll be supporting you,” He hears Kyungsoo say. “Always.”

 

-

 

There is less than 15 minutes left of their journey until they arrive, and the rest of it goes fairly quietly with Jongin driving and Kyungsoo napping beside him. He takes a sip of his already cold coffee, pretending not to notice the sleeping male shifting in his sleep and turning his torso towards him. It’s a pretty clear and straight road, so Jongin steals this chance to stare at the sleeping figure.

 

As if sensing eyes on him, the smaller male slowly cracks his eyes open, his eyebrows furrowed at the amount of light filtering in and Jongin quickly returns to look at the road ahead. He clears his throat as he shifts hands on the steering wheel and slows down to exit the freeway.

 

A light sneeze has Jongin turning to face the other male whose shoulders are kept hunched and his arms wrapping around himself. “Are you cold?” He asks as he turns up the heater by a notch. He’s not particularly cold himself, though.

 

“A little,” Comes the answer with a sniffle. “But I’ll be fine.”

 

“Did you bring your uh, I don’t know… medications?” Clearly Jongin has no clue to how all of this baby thing works. The only thing he knows is that Kyungsoo will be a lot bigger in the next few months. 

 

“They’re more like health supplements, actually. I’m not sick or anything,” Kyungsoo sniffles as he says this. “Just cold.”

 

Jongin turns the heater up some more and steadies a hand on the wheel while he shrugs his jacket off and uses his free hand to remove it from his torso completely before tossing it at the backseat. 

 

“You’re not cold?”

 

“Uh, not really. Must have been that latte,” Jongin reasons. 

 

“Are we almost there?” Kyungsoo asks, his voice laced with nervousness as he looks ahead at the neighbourhood now coming up the further Jongin drives. He can’t tell how nervous the elder male is, but he supposes meeting new people and considering their circumstances he’d be pretty damn nervous. Jongin doesn’t feel that unnerved, but he does expect a word or two from his mother. Maybe a little chiding; some piece of advice or the sort. 

 

Jongin slowly pulls up into a driveway of one of the terrace linked houses and parks there. It’s noon. His mother and sister are probably still preparing lunch for them. His father is probably still working since his car isn’t there and might not return until tomorrow morning.

 

Neither of them make a move to get out of the car, especially not Kyungsoo at least. He keeps frowning at the house with his lips pressed together. Jongin isn’t sure how to comfort him; he doesn’t know where the boundaries lie in their relationship - if they even are in some sort of a relationship. They have to act it out, though.

 

“Look, my mom, she—” Jongin chews at his lower lip. “She thinks we’re together. I couldn’t tell her otherwise; she wouldn’t like that. So um, if you could do me this favour and—”

 

“Pretend,” Kyungsoo finishes for him, staring up at him. “That’s what you want me to do, right?”

 

“Sorry,” He mutters, and not knowing what else to say, Jongin steps out of the car. 

 

-

 

Kyungsoo lowers his expectations of being immediately and easily accepted by the Kims, but it doesn’t mean he’s any less nervous. He’s never been this anxious since that time he auditioned for SM’s beauty department, and even then, he trusted his skills enough for the jitters to tone down.

 

Jongin leads him to the doorstep and they wait after having rang the doorbell. A rather young woman comes to greet them with an infant on her hip. She hoots a ‘nice car’ and hugs Jongin before finally turning to Kyungsoo.

 

“You must be Doh Kyungsoo,” She smiles, and Kyungsoo doesn’t miss the way she steals a one second glance at his belly. “I’m Jungah, this brat’s sister.”

 

“Shut up. Where’s mom?” Jongin takes Rahee out of his sister’s hold and goes inside.

 

“Cooking in the kitchen,” She calls out and returns to Kyungsoo again but this time her smile grows bigger as she gently pulls Kyungsoo in by his arm. “Come. We have so much to know about you.”

 

Kyungsoo’s heart rate can’t get any faster than this, can it?

 

-

 

Jungah looks nothing like Jongin, maybe except for her almond eyes. While her brother bears the well-loved tanned skin, Jungah is fairer, like their mother. Jongin’s mother’s face, however, is almost a carbon copy of Jongin. 

 

Kyungsoo’s nerves are all over the place as Jongin leads him to the kitchen where Mrs. Kim is said to be in, having placed Rahee on her baby quilt. He’s too busy dealing with his nerves that he almost misses the gentle hand resting close to the small of his back, just lightly pushing him, and he looks up at the idol. 

 

“You’ll be fine.” Whispers the taller male, this time the touch on his back firmer and Kyungsoo can feel warmth against the material of his sweater. Comforting. Calming.

 

“Oh dear, you’re a lot bigger than I thought,” Mrs. Kim’s voice brings him back and the hand on his back is gone. “Jongin didn’t tell me how far along you are.”

 

Kyungsoo gulps, stammering. “I’m- I’m almost 4 months along, Mrs. Kim,” He manages what he would call a polite smile although he’s pretty sure it comes out awkward, his clammy hands balled at his sides. She doesn’t seem hostile at least, with the smile she adorns as she rinses and wipes her hands before approaching him. 

 

“Kyungsoo, right?” She asks, slender fingers gingerly wrapping around his forearm. “How are you feeling?”

 

“Great, Mrs. Kim,” He manages. The middle aged woman then eyes him up and down before giving him a soft smile.

 

“Why don’t we have a little chat in the living room?” She offers, and not having any reason to decline, Kyungsoo lets himself be led to said room but not without looking back at Jongin who sends him a reassuring nod. 

 

-

 

Jongin eyes the two figures now seated on the couch, talking, while he leans against the counter with his arms crossed.  

 

“He’s cute.”

 

He turns around to see his sister chopping some tofus before adding them into the stew. Scoffing, the idol returns to his previous position, staring at the smaller male who is now sporting a bashful smile. 

 

“You never talked to us about him until last week.”

 

“Do you need help or something?” Jongin snaps. 

 

“I’m good, and I don’t trust you in the kitchen.” Jungah chirps, her hands expertly working. “It was an accident, wasn’t it? Where did it happen?”

 

“Does it matter?”

 

“I guess it doesn’t. Not anymore. The point is I’m glad you decided to follow through with it. Mom will probably have your head for a while, though…” She grimaces at her brother’s fortune, and Jongin rolls his eyes already knowing that it might happen later. 

 

“Seongho-hyung isn’t coming back for Christmas?”

 

“He is, but I don’t think you two can stay long enough to meet him. You’re already headed back tomorrow, right?”

 

“After meeting dad, yeah,” Jongin stifles a yawn. “God, I’m sleepy.”

 

“It’s only lunchtime, silly. You can sleep all you want later.” His sister chuckles. She follows Jongin’s gaze then back at him, thoughtful. “What did the agency say?”

 

Jongin his lips, because of course his sister would want to know that. He trusts her anyway so he tells her. “The journalists came forward with what they have on me. Nothing too explicit, but definitely enough to convince the public. Senior management gave me options.”

 

His sister caps the pot with its lid before walking up to sit beside Jongin, tucking some strands of hair behind her ears as she looks at her brother expectantly. “Go on.”

 

Sighing, Jongin does. “They said they can pay for those journalists to shut up, but only up to a certain time. First option calls for them to drop it anytime after March and then leave the agency to do the official confirmation and decide if they want to sue the media for it. Senior managers are highly opposed to this, as am I. Too much damage, they said.”

 

“Okay,” Jungah nods thoughtfully, resting her arms on the counter. “What about the second option?”

 

“The press will still keep their quiet,” Jongin says. “But my reps get to choose a date to announce it ourselves, and only after the announcement do they get to release what they have on me - filtered by the agency, of course. I would be immediately sent off to hiatus either way, except that I’ve received a casting offer for this one movie, and, funnily enough, I have no reason to reject it because— ”

 

“You wouldn’t have any schedule as an idol,” Jungah finishes for him. “So in the end, both the public and your fans will still have to know.” She concludes, and Jongin nods. “What did you end up choosing, then?”

 

The idol breathes out a deep sigh, laughing bitterly.

 

“I chose a date.”

 

-

 

A little while later, his mother returns to the kitchen and helps Jungah out with the dishes while Jongin pads to the living room where the elder male is already sat on the floor and hunches over his niece.

 

It’s a sight, really, seeing Kyungsoo playing with the infant while he himself is expecting. Kyungsoo’s eyes crinkle with happiness as Rahee reaches for his cheek, and the soft giggle he lets out has Jongin’s heart skipping a beat. Kyungsoo soon lifts her up and bounces her in his lap playfully, earning himself a happy squeal from the little girl. 

 

Jongin seats himself on the couch from across him, and Kyungsoo blinks up at him with an intact smile, obviously in a good mood. 

 

“She’s such an angel,” Kyungsoo beams before returning to play with her, his eyes lighting up in the most lovable way and maybe Rahee’s not the only angel here. It’s been a while since Jongin last saw him this cheery.

 

“What did my mom say?” Jongin questions, unsure if the elder male hears him over Rahee’s bout of giggles.

 

No later, Kyungsoo places Rahee back onto her quilt. “We just talked.”

 

“What about?”

 

“Many things.”

 

“In that short of a time?”

 

“In that short of a time.” Kyungsoo chuckles. “Jongin, you didn’t tell her we’ll be having twins?”

 

Feeling himself flushing, Jongin winces at the thought that his mother found out about it through the other male rather than her own son. In his opinion (or defense), his mother should be grateful Jongin’s giving her two new grandkids, well, not him technically. But still. “What did she say about it?”

 

“She’s happy about it.” He answers with a smile. “I like your mom. She’s cool.”

 

Jongin’s lips crack into a small smile. “I told you you’d be fine, didn’t I? You’re likeable, anyway.” 

 

That was a smooth slip and Jongin has no way of taking it back, especially not when Kyungsoo is already staring up at him wide-eyed and his cheeks flushed pink. “I’m… likeable, you said…” 

 

“I—”

 

“Does that mean you find me likeable too?”

 

Jongin really should think before he speaks, or does anything, really. He knows he’s not the most careful person out there, and consequences often follow. Although the intensity of this one is far from damaging, it is still damaging his brain to come up with a reasonable answer that won’t hurt Kyungsoo’s feelings while simultaneously debunk the issue. Without considering that still, how can Kyungsoo even ask him that in the first place and actually expect an answer out of him?

 

“Kyungsoo—”

 

He doesn’t get to say what he wants to as his mother calls them both for lunch. And just like that, he watches Kyungsoo struggle to get up so not-so-naturally Jongin bends down to grab his hands and pull him up, but doesn’t immediately let go as they meet eyes, Kyungsoo’s expectant. What is he expectant of? Jongin’s answer?

 

Hearing the clanking of bowls and plates meeting the glass surface of their dining table, Jongin releases him and waltzes away from him, going to the kitchen and asking Jungah if there’s anything he can do.

 

-

 

“None of our ancestors have twins. The genes must have been really strong in yours.” Mrs. Kim chuckles as she picks some tofu from the pot. 

 

“Really?” Jungah exclaims, covering and waits for her food to go down before speaking again. “I thought Aunt Miran has twins?”

 

“Eunjung and Eunkyung aren’t twins, honey. Eunjung was born a year after. People think they’re fraternal twins since they don’t look much different.”

 

Kyungsoo maintains his polite smile but he doesn’t say anything and quietly eats his food. He likes Mrs. Kim’s tofu soup and has already finished his bowl, but he’s too shy to scoop more of it for himself so he continues picking at his rice and the honey chicken while staring at his empty soup bowl longingly.

 

Jongin beside him is almost as quiet as he is but he still engages in some sort of bickering with his sister. He’s already having his seconds and is quick to inhale the honey chicken and ignoring Mrs. Kim’s words to save some for Kyungsoo too, you chicken glutton.

 

They’re now talking about Jongin’s drama and teases him for it, and Kyungsoo silently wonders if he can have more of that tofu soup. 

 

Jungah then turns to him. “So Kyungsoo, you used to work for Sehun? That’s Jongin’s best friend, right?”

 

Uh-oh.

 

Kyungsoo chances a glimpse in the corner of his eye and notes that Jongin hurls the chicken bone on his plate rather harshly and it almost bounces off onto the table surface. He lets out a polite chuckle and nods. “Yeah. Worked for him quite a while.”

 

“You must be—”

 

“Do you want more soup?” Jongin interrupts and without waiting for Kyungsoo’s answer, he snatches Kyungsoo’s bowl and refills it before placing it back on Kyungsoo’s side of the table while he gets up and brings his dirty bowls to the sink. 

 

“Well that’s sweet of him, but it’s not sweet to leave the dining table while we’re still eating!” Jungah calls him out. 

 

“I’m tired so I’m gonna nap.” They hear him say from the kitchen. 

 

Mrs. Kim grimaces and smiles apologetically at Kyungsoo. “Sorry he’s kinda grouchy, but you probably already know that.” She winks, and Kyungsoo can only force a weak smile as he stares at his filled bowl. Jongin scooped a lot of tofus for him, so he supposes he should be happy about it, but Jongin has already left his side. 

 

-

 

“Hey Jongin. Go help out mom with the dishes before you nap? I’m gonna feed Rahee and chat with Kyungsoo.”

 

Groaning, Jongin gets up from the couch and shuffles his way to the kitchen, seeing his sister mixing baby food before dragging Kyungsoo to the living room with her. He just hopes Jungah won’t be too nosey and risk flustering the other male. Jongin wordlessly starts rinsing the foamed dishes with his mom at the side. 

 

“Sweet little guy,” His mom snickers, the corners of her eyes wrinkling but she doesn’t look worn. 

 

Jongin shrugs half-heartedly, placing the clean dishes on the rack. “I guess.”

 

After foaming the last of the dishes, Mrs. Kim dries her hands and crosses her arms, looking up at her son sternly. “But he’s almost 4 months along now, and you didn’t think of telling me sooner?”

 

Jongin huffs out a groan, not in the mood to talk about it. “We had a… situation.” When his mother raises an eyebrow to tell him to elaborate, he sighs again. “It’s complicated.” He can’t just outright tell his mother that it took him this long to bring Kyungsoo to meet them because he was hoping this could all just be one bad joke. His mother would totally take Kyungsoo’s side and probably disown her own son to make way for the new grandkids and Jongin has enough headaches for now, thank you very much.

 

“Sure hope it didn’t involve my son being mean to him cos’ I certainly didn’t raise you that way.”

 

“Look Mom, it’s nothing big. Work caught both of us up so I had to choose a good time.” He partially lies. His acting skills sure come in handy in these kinds of situations. 

 

“I would talk to his guardians about this but he already told me he grew up orphaned, the poor child…” His mother sighs. “Jongin, I think it would be wise for you to wed him.”

 

Jongin expects a lot of advices from her end, but marriage is definitely not one of them. He almost drops the plate in his hand as he gapes at her. “Mom.”

 

“If the paparazzis decide you’re worth the talk, then let it not be because the children are born out of wedlock,” She adds with the tone that Jongin does not dare to defy. “That is my only request.”

 

-

 

“We’ve cleaned the guest room for you two.” Jungah informs, a little too amused Jongin thinks.

 

“You mean my room.” He pats his jeans pocket for his car keys, planning on taking out their bags from the trunk. 

 

“That you almost never inhabit anymore so that’s guest room for you, brother,” Jungah says with a smug grin, Rahee on her hip making baby noises. Jongin rolls his eyes and goes to his SUV outside, the three dogs on his trail.

 

By the time he shuts the trunk and carries all their bags up, Kyungsoo is waiting by the doorstep. “I can help…” 

 

“I’m fine,” Jongin mutters, passing by the smaller male and going straight to their guest room to place their bags. There’s only a queen bed here and Jongin isn’s sure if he’ll be able to sleep tonight. Maybe his mom still keeps their futons around. Anyhow, he’s tired for now so he goes up to his sister’s room to nap away, in case Kyungsoo needs to nap too so the elder male can use the guest room downstairs. Jungah probably won’t mind.

 

Her entire room smells of baby powder, and it’s hard to ignore the baby crib sitting at the corner of the room he’s wondering if he should’ve just asked for the futons instead of making the choice to nap here. He shuts his eyes anyway and releases a deep sigh, willing sleep to wash over him quickly but it seems like everything is going against him as he finds himself rolling and tossing on the bed with no chance of deep slumber because the only thing that keeps plaguing his mind right now is ing marriage.

 

Being married… to Kyungsoo… and marriage consequently equals to moving in together…

 

…With Kyungsoo…

 

…With Kyungsoo…

 

Big. Sigh.

 

-

 

In the end, Jongin did get his nap although it took him another hour of dreadful thinking about said topic which shall not be further mentioned. By the time he woke, it’s dusk and there’s something sweet wafting in the air that promptly wakes up all his senses. 

 

Taking the trip downstairs, he can see his dogs surrounding the wriggling infant on her quilt while his mom is watching some TV show. Kyungsoo isn’t there in the living room. The sound of laughter in the kitchen spurs him to go there and there is the male he’s looking for, all giggly as he arranges something on a tray. 

 

“Good morning, sleepyhead,” Jungah teases, taking something out of the oven. “Wanna join us baking cookies? Oh but we’re almost done. Maybe you can help us with the tarts next.”

 

Kyungsoo offers him a happy smile but Jongin pretends not to notice it, dragging his feet to the guest room with purpose. He’s still feeling a little disoriented from the accidentally long nap so he guesses a shower is a good call.

 

Dinner goes by almost the same as lunch, except they’re talking more with Kyungsoo now and Jongin isn’t really in the mood to join it so he eats his rice quietly, listening to the elder male talking beside him. He can be really chatty, Jongin notes, but never with him. Unsurprisingly. Is Jongin intimidating to him? But Kyungsoo is his fan, so he would know that the idol isn’t intimidating, just moody. Jongin knows he’s not the most chipper person out there, and the image he shows to fans is just that; a facade. Even Kyungsoo had generously pointed it out to him that he’s temperamental sometimes.

 

Kyungsoo doesn’t so much as glance his way nor talk to him during and after dinner. He either plays with Rahee or chats with Jungah and his mom while doing their tarts while Jongin hangs out in the living room, watching the elder male all smiley and animated (and wishing he would be like that with Jongin too). 

 

Jongin doesn’t do feelings, doesn’t deal well with them. When it comes to relationships, the other party is either too clingy or too tired to handle Jongin’s attitude. For him, it’s all . because that is all he needs to alleviate and cope with the stress of an idol life. Long standing relationships are hard to maintain and Jongin is not about having that sort of commitment either when he’s constantly busy playing idol and actor. 

 

But things with Kyungsoo are… convoluted. Messy. The messiest Jongin has ever had to deal with. To involve feelings in all of this would call for a bad recipe, and Kyungsoo being the ever soft-spoken person that he is is not making things easier for him.

 

Maybe it’s just that. Maybe Jongin has seen one too many fabricated personalities while working in the industry that seeing actual sincerity and genuineness in Kyungsoo is making him feel things. He wouldn’t say it’s to the extent of falling for him, though. 

 

As bedtime approaches and the night grows quieter with Jungah already upstairs with her sleeping daughter and his mom watching the TV quietly, Jongin follows Kyungsoo to the guest room minutes after he left the living room to retreat for bed. The door is left ajar so without knocking, he pushes it open and again he questions himself for always doing things without thinking first because greeting him right now is Kyungsoo slipping out of his blouse with his back facing him…

 

It gives him images all over again, back at that restroom stall, beneath him…

 

Wordlessly, Jongin steps back and pulls the door but doesn’t shut it, and merely waits it out. One minute. Two. He raps his knuckles on the wood instead now and waits till he hear an audible response. 

 

“Come in.” And Jongin does, no more bare skin greeting him. Thank ing God. The elder male is now sitting on a stool by the dresser, probably in the middle of his skincare routine, but he soon stands up as Jongin shuts the door close behind him. 

 

“Um, I’m not sure about the sleeping arrangements…” He hesitantly points to the bed. 

 

“I’ll spread out a futon for myself.” Jongin says. “Mom still has it.”

 

“You’re not taking the bed?”

 

Jongin blinks at him, incredulously too. “I’m not that much of a jackass to let a pregnant person sleep on the floor, you know.”

 

“I- I don’t think you’re a jackass, Jongin…” He frowns.

 

“Is that true? Or are you saying that because it’s me?” Jongin bites out with no actual venom. “If it were anyone else, would you have said the same thing about them?” He walks up to where the other male’s standing, closing their proximity as Kyungsoo looks up at him with a constant frown. “Admit it, I was mean to you. A lot of times.”

 

In the end, it all boils down to Jongin’s attitude, doesn’t it? It’s Jongin. Jongin is the toxic person here. 

 

“Yes, you were being understandably mean to me, Jongin, but you’re good to me too. You gave me pretty clothes and rented out a nice apartment for me close to my workplace, you asked me how I was during phone calls, you came and visited me. You asked me if I felt cold in the car. You worried about my morning sickness. You’re a good person, Jongin.”

 

Kyungsoo says that with that look in his eyes, that kind of look as if you’re his world, that innocence that you in, and Jongin wonders why he places him on the pedestal so much when Jongin is just… Jongin. “You do realize that I wasn’t fishing for compliments when I said that, don’t you?”

 

“I do. I just feel like telling you how good you’re being to me.” He smiles, but suddenly drops it and proceeds to cover the lower half of his face with both his hands and looks down, and Jongin sees the pink dusting his ears and cheeks, quite prominently too. “Sorry I’m… bare-faced…” He muffles into his hands and mumbles something about it being bedtime and moisturising his face but Jongin doesn’t listen anymore as he raises his hand and softly pats him on the head. For the first time ever.

 

“You’re good to me too.” He breathes, feeling the soft strands under his palm as he eyes the other male who is positively beet red now. Pretty. “You’re likeable.” And he means it this time. 

 

“You don’t actually mean that…” Kyungsoo mutters under his breath.

 

“Just like you don’t agree I’m a jackass.”

 

“Coz’ you’re really not, Jongin.” He presses, letting go of his face for one second before returning to covering it again. 

 

“Your bare face is not bad.” Jongin bravely lowers his hand onto Kyungsoo’s nape, encouraging him to look up at him. 

 

“You don’t mean that too…”

 

This time, Jongin has his fingers wrapping one of Kyungsoo’s forearm as he gently pulls it away from his face. “I mean it.” He watches the shorter male look up timidly through his lashes, embarrassment evident with how prettily he blushes. Maybe he’s genuinely shy of showing his bare face to him, so Jongin spares him further embarrassment by patting his head once more and stepping back. “Good night.”

 

That night, once again he rolls and tosses on the futon, but instead of distress this time he just finds himself picturing a certain blushing male behind his eyelids, and how soft his raven hair felt under his fingertips. 

 

-

 

Mr. Kim came home the next morning and Kyungsoo grows a little more quiet than yesterday. It didn’t help matters that Jongin decided to be a log and slept in until noon wherein he woke up just in time for lunch with the rest of them. Mr. Kim is a rather quiet man, a little mellow too, but for some reason the man scares Kyungsoo a little. 

 

During lunch, Kyungsoo sticks to Jongin all the time, even picking up their dishes and going to the sink together and Jongin regards him a little strangely but doesn’t say anything about it. On any other occasion the beautician wouldn’t have followed the idol around like that but right now he’s the only most familiar person to him and Kyungsoo feels safe being close to him. He can only hope Jongin isn’t annoyed with him acting that way, but so far the latter doesn’t seem to mind. 

 

They pack up around 4 (since Jongin has some recording to be done the next day despite it being Christmas) and Mrs. Kim hands them some side dishes, to which Kyungsoo says his never ending thanks. He smooches Rahee on her cheek and waves goodbye at the little girl before finally hugging Jongin’s mother.

 

“Thank you, Mrs. Kim. It was a nice stay.” He gives the brightest smile to the woman before him. She returns the gesture and rubs his back soothingly. 

 

“Call me Mom,” She whispers with a warm smile, ruffling the back of his hair affectionately. “You’re family now.”

 

-

 

Jongin closes the car trunk and urges Kyungsoo to hop in the car while he says his goodbyes to his parents and sister as well as Rahee. His mother playfully threatens to disown him if he doesn’t take good care of Kyungsoo, to which Jongin brushes it off with a roll of his eyes. His dad is kind of like him, not good with feelings except Jongin’s leaning more towards moody while his dad is sort of just ‘cool with everything’. The only thing he commented about Kyungsoo was how he hoped both the twins would get his eyes, and that’s really it. He wasn’t mad about it, and certainly didn’t give any advice that concerns marriage like his mom did. 

 

Putting his seatbelt on, he reverses out of the parking space. Out of the corner of his eye is Kyungsoo waving goodbye to them until they are no longer in sight. Jongin turns the radio on, the anchorwoman reciting the news for today filling the silence between them as he unhurriedly enters the freeway.

 

“You didn’t forget anything, did you?” He asks offhandedly, balancing the wheel with one hand while another turns up the heater in case Kyungsoo’s cold. The response comes as a sniffle and he wonders if the cold affects him that quickly but that isn’t the case when he actually turns to see that Kyungsoo is… sobbing into his sweater paw quietly. “Are- Are you okay?”

 

The elder male nods, but he’s still crying and it makes Jongin feel bad for not knowing why. “Is something wrong, Kyungsoo?”

 

“Family…” He hiccups, wiping his tears with the heel of his hand. “She said I’m family.”