세븐틴: Diamond Edge: Jeonghan’s Heart Report part. 1

 

 

 

        While touring around the world, the bond between the boys grew bigger and bigger each day. They would feel happiness, sadness, stressed… sometimes they’d fight, but they never failed to console and forgive one another and be happy again. They are family and would always be a family.

 

        They just had their concert at Toronto, and New York would be their next stage. Everyone was, as usual, busy from practicing and rehearsing. They were also making time creating their new songs as their initial preparation for their next comeback, scheduled in November.

 

        Hell, it’s a tough time for everyone. Besides from exhaustion they were getting from practices, the pressure in every performance was adding into their stress. Moreover, every time they would start performing on stage, their anxiety was like that of their first time but since, they could see their fans enjoying their music made out of love, they began enjoying the whole performance as well. No worries because Seventeen and Carats are always there for each other.

 

 

***

 

 

        Thank goodness, as they finished their New York concert, they were given some time to relax and to enjoy the city. Unfortunately, even if they wanted to roam around the beautiful city of NY, their bodies preferred to lie down instead. Because, hell, they went through a lot that even their body wanted to give up. But not for Joshua, he went beside Jeonghan and took his chance to date the beautiful young man again.

 

Joshua:

Shall we?

(He smiled gently)

 

Jeonghan:

(While lying on Vernon’s stomach)

What?

 

Joshua:

A date?

 

No one inside that room dared to go against Joshua’s invitation to Jeonghan because they’re all lazy to do or even say something.

 

Joshua:

(Since Jeonghan wasn’t responding at all.)

…

If you are not that tired and lazy.

(Because he thought that he must consider Jeonghan’s condition too.)

 

Jeonghan:

Of course! I’d love too!

(He got up immediately)

 

Joshua:

You sure?

(Jeonghan nodded willingly and happily.)

Dress up.

 

Jeonghan:

I am, though?

 

        The confused angel was already or rather still wearing a nice and simple casual clothes, as he haven’t changed since they arrive from the concert hall. He only needs a pair of sneakers because his wallet was already on his back pocket and his phone with fancy phone case was already on his hands. He was ready to go, but it seemed that Joshua was not satisfied with his clothes from the way he frowned.

 

Joshua:

No. That’s not what I like.

(With a gentle but commanding tone.)

Go shower and dress a little formal.

We’re going somewhere.

(That’s when he smiled and winked)

And don’t get sick, understood?!

 

Jeonghan:

I’ll try not to.

(He giggled)

 

        Jeonghan, including Joshua took their shower before dressing up, for a clean and fresher look. Sebongs kept on glancing at their gentleman who was busy and who still have the energy to move. They kept on asking where they would go, but Joshua just replied with a smile and a ‘somewhere’, leaving them dying out of curiosity.

 

        Everyone believed that it must be somewhere special as Joshua upgraded his looks from a darling to a real gentleman. Joshua’s transformation gave them a great impact as he really looked handsome and manly with his white turtle neck inside a pair of grey plaid casual suits and a pointy shoes. His up do was clean too.

 

        While waiting for Jeonghan to finish preparing himself, their leader went and ask the smiling and calm friend of his, who was sitting quietly on a couch.

 

 

Seungcheol:

Going somewhere romantic, Mr. Gentleman?

(Raising one of his brows.)

 

Joshua:

(He grinned)

Exactly.

 

Seungcheol:

(He bitterly smirked back at one of his rivals.)

Good luck there, Mr. Hong.

 

Joshua:

I’m quite confident, Mr. Choi.

(He teased)

 

 

Seungcheol felt his brows twitched as he assumed that Joshua really prepared for their date; nevertheless, he knew very well that they have different styles when it comes to their moves… Anyway, choosing love rather than hatred, Mr. Choi just wished their safety, but he never thought of giving up. FIGHTING!!!

 

 

Seungcheol:

Be safe.

(He reminded calmly)

 

Joshua:

We will be.

(He said confidently)

 

        Sometime later, Jeonghan went out of the room, pouting his lips, because he was having trouble choosing the right outfit because he didn’t know how to classify the phrase ‘a little formal’  for Joshua; moreover, he didn’t know what kind of place his friend would bring him. After a while, Jisoo looked at his watch and thought that his date was taking too long, so he went and knock on the door to offer his help.

 

        With that sudden knock, the problematic Jeonghan who was looking at his reflection on the mirror was startled.

 

Jeonghan:

Kkamchajiya!

 

        The boy opened the door to look who was disturbing him in the middle of his serious decision making. Only to find out a charming gentleman in his elegant semi-formal clothing.

 

Joshua:

Why are you taking so long?

(He complained)

 

Jeonghan:

(He was dazed at the young and handsome man in front of him and it took him several seconds to react.)

Woah~ Do I need to be like that too?

 

Joshua:

What?

(He frowned his brows as if he was mad.)

Handsome?

(He teased)

Thank you.

(Then, he giggled)

You are beautiful as always, Hanie. Don’t worry, so hurry up!

 

Jeonghan:

I know…

(He smiled)

Alright.

 

        Since Jeonghan had already an idea, he immediately got his white wide boat neckline shirt and a plain cotton navy blue suit partnered with a slim fit distressed chinos.

 

Despite the conservativeness of his clothing, he looked so stylish and y, exposing his prominent collar bones. And for the last touch, Jeonghan partnered it with his khaki leather shoes.

 

        On the other hand, Joshua was more than satisfied on how Jeonghan looked… actually- he’s always pleased by just looking at Jeonghan, especially when he’s wearing his bright and warm smile.

 

Joshua:

Beautiful!

(He smiled gently)

Let’s go then.

 

Jeonghan:

I know

(He giggled.)

Sure!

 

 

        Meanwhile, the boys who was lying down calmly and lazily everywhere got shook by the way Joshua and Jeonghan dressed themselves. They looked awesome! Like they’re going on a ball or something. Two princes of modern times, ei? What fairy tale were they in? They couldn’t help but widen their eyes on how dazzling their hyungs were.

 

 

Hoshi:

Woah!

 

Mingyu:

I am envious!

(Pouted his lips)

 

Wonwoo:

Don’t get drunk.

(He said coldly)

 

Seungcheol:

Enjoy.

(With a monotone, lazy voice)

 

Jeonghan:

We will.

We’ll send you pictures!

 

Jihoon:

Don’t.

 

Dino:

(Wearing a poker face)

You still have the energy, huh?

 

Joshua:

That’s for sure.

(He teased)

 

Jeonghan:

We’re going!

See you later.

 

        Joshua unconsciously put his hands on Jeonghan’s back and assisted him carefully to the door.

 

-Inside a Classy Restaurant-

 

        The time they arrived at the restaurant, Jeonghan felt a little anxious looking around the place. The restaurant was so classy with the chandeliers dangling not too far from each other. The ceiling was high and the room was so spacious; moreover, the interior was so intricate which helped improved the romantic ambiance of the place. And what really added to the elegance was the music being played by a live jazz band in the middle of the restaurant.

 

Jeonghan was still at daze, while Joshua was calm and composed. The boys were assisted by the waiter to the reserved seats for two, and he immediately provided them the menu and some complimentary refreshments.

 

Joshua:

(With his eyes focused on the menu.)

Choose whatever you want.

 

        Since Jeonghan was not used going in such kind of restaurant, he continued to feel uncomfortable and intimidated as he shrank down on his seat while covering his beautiful shy face.

 

After a short while, Jeonghan couldn’t take it anymore, so he called Joshua with a minimal sound as possible- almost like a whisper.

 

Jeonghan:

Joshua ya, I didn’t know it’s this formal.

I’m shy.

 

        Joshua smiled as he found Jeonghan adorable with his uneasy expression.

 

Joshua:

Hey, relax. You’re doing well.

You are looking good, Jeonghan.

 

Jeonghan:

But…

Joshua, you sure we can eat here?

(Worried about his friend’s bank account after looking and computing at how expensive the food were.)

 

Joshua:

Yup.

I reserved this before we’ve gone here in New York. And thank goodness you are willing to come with me after a tiring day.

This is one of my faves here. My family and I had a vacation here last time, so I know this place.

(He winked)

 

Jeonghan:

Are you some kind of tycoon, Jisoo ya?

 

Joshua:

(He giggled)

I can pay, Jeonghan, so don’t worry.

Relax.

 

Jeonghan:

But these are too expensive for a meal.

 

Joshua:

I don’t think so.

(He smiled softly looking at how cute Jeonghan was.)

I think it’s worth eating here with you.

And besides, I can tell that this restaurant serves the best steak I’ve ever eaten- so far.

(He winked)

 

Jeonghan:

Then you chose what I will eat.

(For him not to worry about things anymore.)

 

Joshua:

Okay.

(He smiled and called the waiter)

(English) Can we have two sets of premium steak dinner set with a glass of wine for him and a house blend tea for me.

 

Waiter:

Yes sir.

Anything else?

 

Joshua:

That’s all. Thank you.

(He smiled)

 

        Jeonghan couldn’t help but to focus on Joshua while he’s talking to the waiter. He realized that Joshua was so manly despite his slim body; moreover, his gentle voice speaking in English sounds so y with his prim posture and endearing bright smiling eyes. He thought that he had just discovered the other side of Joshua, and Jeonghan couldn’t help but to stare at the man he’s dating that night.

 

        On the other hand, Joshua noticed that Jeonghan was looking at him and so, he offered his bright smile which startled the lost angel.

 

Jeonghan was shook for a moment, but he managed to return a gentle smile back to Joshua.

 

        As the waiter came serving their appetizer up to their desert, Jeonghan would never forget to take a quick photo of his meal and, of course, a picture with Joshua too as his remembrance. 

 

As expected, high class restaurants serves high class dishes. Jeonghan was so pleased with his food; moreover, he was so impressed of everything Joshua had prepared for him. He ate everything on his plate and miraculously, his body received it well. Maybe because his body also knew that the food was very expensive to be thrown away.

 

After they had eaten, Jeonghan started thinking of the bill again.

 

Jeonghan:

Shua?

 

Joshua:

Hmmm?

 

Jeonghan:

I’ll pay for my meal.

I think, it’s too much for you.

 

Joshua:

(He grinned and murmured)

Cute!

(Then, back to his serious face)

I told you, this is on me.

No need to worry.

And…

I think our desert is not so satisfying. (because of the serving)

Let’s buy something outside.

(He suggested.)

 

Jeonghan:

Okay.

Can it be my treat?

Please.

I cannot sleep. Please.

 

Joshua:

No!

Mine.

 

Jeonghan:

But…

 

Joshua:

C’mon Jeonghan.

Make me feel a little better.

 

Jeonghan:

Why?

 

Joshua:

Who would you think feels at ease when there are more than 11 of us pursuing you?

(He teased with a calm and smiling expression.)

 

Jeonghan:

Ya, don’t say that.

(He blushed)

 

Joshua:

(He said coolly while signing the receipt.)

It’s true.

 

        That statement gave them an awkward silence, so Jeonghan tried to divert their conversation, but he couldn’t think of any topic as of the moment.

 

Jeonghan:

Shua…

…

 

Joshua:

What?

(Looked at his shy and blushing angel and thought that he made Jeonghan uncomfortable.)

You’re welcome.

(He smiled handsomely)

 

Jeognhan:

(He was surprised on how Joshua revived their conversation and let out a sweet giggle)

No… you are supposed to say thank you.

(Jeonghan came back to his old and witty self because he realized that he’d just make everything awkward when he’s wary.)

I was supposed to say, you’re handsome today.

And then…

Thank you.

 

Joshua:

(Pretty pleased)

Thank you.

You too.

And…

You’re very welcome.

(He smirked)

And Jeonghan, don’t think too much.

(Looked at Jeonghan sincerely.)

Do what you think is the best.

I will respect that because I know how big your love is for everyone.

(He smiled)

Let’s go?

 

He felt his heart beating so fast after hearing those kind and sincere words from Joshua. He thought that Joshua has a big heart and although, he’s childish like him sometimes, he’s really the person you can trust and rely on whenever you need him; moreover, he’s a friend that would listen and would never leave your side, even if he’s hurting too. That’s why he respects him a lot.

 

Jeonghan:

Yeah.

Thank you, Shua ya~

 

Joshua:

Welcome.

 

        So, the two roamed around the streets to view the night cityscape of New York, and they took a rest inside an old and classic café while eating a delicious treat with little chats.

 

Joshua:

Hey, Jeonghan.

I have something to give you.

Don’t panic.

I should have given this to you long ago, but I was shy back then because you know… it’s somehow weird.

 

Jeonghan:

T-the what?

(Although, Jeonghan was trying to cover his flustered state, his wide and steady eyes were hinting Joshua that he was actually in panic deep inside.)

 

Joshua:

Ya, stop thinking too much.

This is just a simple gift.

I bought this because I thought that it would fit you.

 

Jeonghan:

Hurry!

(Still with a flustered expression.)

Give it now!

 

At least he knew that it was not his heart. Not again. Their hearts were the most precious thing in the world and he couldn’t let himself hurt any of them; though, he was sure that they’re giving it recklessly away to him.

 

        On the other hand, Joshua took out some small box out of his pocket, and casually gave it to Jeonghan. As Jeonghan suspected, it was a ring. It was definitely a ring! Based from the shape and size of the box. Oh my god! Jeonghan’s heart was beating so fast. He was so lost at the moment thinking of the possible lines Joshua would throw upon giving the ring. Jeonghan was thinking so hard, that if ever he said this and that, what would he reply? He really became anxious knowing that it was a ring. And… there’s no way he would propose to him, right? He said it was just a gift. Goodness! Jeonghan’s breathing was getting irregular because Joshua was staring gently at him and because he’s delaying his words. Damn! Did Joshua intended to kill him? And why was it, Jeonghan was feeling so nervous when the boy clearly said that it was just a small gift? Was he expecting something? Why was he expecting? As if Joshua would really say such kind of words. He hoped not because if that happened, he didn’t know what to do anymore. He was melting out of anxiousness, but after one moment…

 

Joshua:

There.

 

        Jeonghan paused a little and gulped. He didn’t know what to feel with the simple ‘there’ that Joshua uttered. He couldn’t help but to feel disappointed. His heart beat suddenly dropped down. He thought, that somehow, Joshua would say some touching things, but no! He just simply said… ‘there’ casually. But anyway, that’s better than any other things, so his problem was shifted into the price of the ring.

 

Jeonghan:

This isn’t an expensive one, right?

 

        He cautiously accepted the small gift and opened it slowly with a jumping heart.

 

Joshua:

Ummm. Just right.

(He acted coolly)

 

Jeonghan:

Oh- okay?

 

        Upon slowly opening the blue box, his eyes widen gradually as he saw how pretty the ring was. It was obviously not one of those engagement rings with a big diamond in the middle, -thank goodness!- But the ring was embellished with tiny shinning crystals around the thick golden metal.

 

        Meanwhile, Jeonghan suddenly thought how Joshua managed to make him feel soft to the point that he’s being girly sometimes? Damn! How could Joshua, a calm and demure man, knew how to shake his heart intensely? Such a great actor! His acting was just smooth and soothing, but he could make you ride a roller coaster even with his small actions. He knew where to set the effectively, huh? Is he some kind of director from his past life? Or he’s just a dictator? Maybe a sweet dictator? Because Jeonghan would willingly obey him sometimes. His words were like that of a sweet poison where you wouldn’t notice you are being killed slowly. Well, he must admit that he’s enjoying the slow kill. He felt thrilled every time, and although, he knew Joshua for several years already, he still couldn’t predict his actions.

 

Joshua:

Wear it now.

 

Jeonghan:

(As ordered, he put the ring on his finger trying to figure out where it would fit.)

Are these real?

(Talking about the stones)

 

Joshua:

Probably not.

(He giggled)

I told you, it’s not expensive as you think.

 

Jeonghan:

Thank you.

I’m sorry for not having a gift for you.

 

Joshua:

No need.

Not vomiting is good enough.

That really ruined our marinated crabs last time.

(He laughed)

 

Jeonghan:

Right!

Aigoo~ Sorry.

(He sighed)

Thank you, Shua.

 

Joshua:

But I don’t know if it would fit you.

Just try.

 

        Joshua wore and try it himself before he bought it, to make sure that it would somehow fit Jeonghan’s finger since they almost have the same structure; however, now that his body was getting smaller and thinner, Jeonghan couldn’t fit it to his ring finger, but at least it went in perfectly on his point finger.

 

Jeonghan:

(He smiled)

Beautiful!

Thank you so much.

 

Joshua:

You wanna go somewhere else?

 

Jeonghan:

Let’s just stay here for a while.

 

***

 

        Meanwhile, the boys who stayed at home were busy on their phones, salivating on the photos of their hyungs’ luxurious meal inside a fine dining restaurant; moreover, they were kinda jealous.

 

-Chat-

 

Seungkwan:

Hyung!

Date me too!

(He chatted)

 

Joshua:

Okay… we’ll go to Gwangjang market when we go back home.

(Laughing emoticon)

 

Seungkwan:

Eeeeyyy. I want a steak too!

 

Hoshi:

Me too!

 

Joshua:

Let’s just grill at home.

I’ll buy you beef in the market.

 

DK:

But I want something like that.

(The picture)

 

Joshua:

Go and buy some for yourself.

(Three laughing emoticons)

Ask Coups to buy for you, since he’s the eldest.

 

Coups:

Ya, don’t get me into trouble!!!

 

Jeonghan:

Coups, I want steak please~

 

Coups:

(He was trapped)

Ya!

 

Sebongs:

Me too~

 

Coups:

Stop!

 

Wonwoo:

We look so stupid here inside the house.

 

Jihoon:

I know right.

 

Mingyu:

Why so?

 

Wonwoo:

We are just in one room here. Only the two of them are outside and still we do not talk. We chat!

 

Jun:

Hahahaha!

Correct!

 

The8:

Jun hyung, (grinning face)

Why are you looking so serious when you type here ‘hahahaha!’

Weird.

(Grinning)

 

Jun:

And why do you have a widely opened mouth when you stated here that you are just grinning?

 

        Then, the boys started laughing on their own silliness.

 

-End of Chat-

 

DK:

I do that sometimes!

(He started their real conversation)

I type so much ‘hahas’ when my face is just NR. (No reaction)

(He executed it perfectly)

 

        The boys laughed over DK’s re-enactment and they started to laugh about some things too. Finally, bonding time again! Only that their mouths were moving because they were too lazy to move their body. They even got the landline from the other room, while dragging their bodies on the ground to order some food for all of them.

 

***

 

        Meanwhile, when Joshua and Jeonghan got back into their hotel, everybody was already sound asleep. Good that they were roommates. They didn’t have to disturb somebody else by turning on the lights.

 

        They both changed their clothes and wear their cute pyjamas. Jeonghan went to bed, but Joshua went to the balcony and sat. The angel followed him.

 

Jeonghan:

You’re not gonna sleep yet?

 

Joshua:

(He gave him a weak smile)

Nope. Not yet sleepy.

 

Jeonghan:

I see.

 

        He went out and joined Joshua sitting on the bench.

 

Jeonghan:

Then, I’ll join you.

(He leaned his head on Joshua’s shoulders comfortably)

 

        Later on, since nobody was speaking, Jeonghan felt sleepy and yawned.

 

Jeonghan:

Shua ya, how long will you stare at the sky?

 

Joshua:

Why?

Are you sleepy?

Just go to bed if you are.

 

Jeonghan:

No. I’ll wait for you until you get back. Just wake me up when you are done.

 

        Joshua made no sound. The gentleman just looked at his sleeping angel beside him quietly, and he couldn’t help but to feel really sad. He looked back at the sky while holding Jeonghan’s -again- cold hands after a soft kiss on his forehead as his tears escaped his sorrowful eyes.

 

        Jeonghan felt Joshua’s pain from the way he touched his hands and kissed his forehead, but he chose not to open his eyes because he thought that he might startle the young man. He stay still and said…

 

Jeonghan:

(With a weak voice)

I’ll be fine.

I’ll just nap.

 

Joshua:

(He replied softly)

Mnn.

(At the back of his mind)

Why is it whenever I hear those words from you, I can feel that you are leaving me?

(He bit his lips as he tried not to create a sound that would disturb Jeonghan.)

 

        Unfortunately for him, Jeonghan knew what exactly was going on as he heard how heavy his breathes were; although, Joshua was doing his best to conceal his sorrow, his tears kept on falling down from his cheeks. Jeonghan let himself hear Joshua’s cry that very night until he had fallen asleep. It pained him so much, but what could he do? He couldn’t even fight for himself. All he could do was to stay and love them to the fullest while he could. Jeonghan knew how hurt s were, but how could he remove those pain when he was the one causing them.

 

        Meanwhile, Joshua thought that Jeonghan was already in the deepest of his sleep, so he carried him back gently to his bed. However, Jeonghan could feel the movement, but he couldn’t just open his eyes easily. It was heavy again, but somehow before Joshua lie him down on bed, Jeonghan looked above and saw Joshua’s gentle face.

 

Joshua:

(He was startled)

Sorry, did I wake you up?

 

Jeonghan:

Shua, you should have wake me up.

(With his lazy voice)

I’m fine.

(He smiled as he waited Joshua to release him because he’s lazy.)

 

Joshua:

Rest now. Good night.

(He smiled)

 

Jeonghan:

Good night.

 

        Although, Joshua had already greeted him good night, he remained staring at Jeonghan for about a minute and smile.

 

Joshua:

Hanie-ya, don’t you think, I deserve a proper good night greetings?

(He started teasing him again.)

 

Jeonghan:

(Opened his eyes widely and smiled)

What do you want?

 

Joshua:

A sweet goodnight kiss maybe?

(He suggested)

 

        Wow! Sure, Joshua was really a man with his bravery. You wouldn’t expect him to say those strong words despite his soft features and personality, but sometimes, looks could be deceiving. So, Jeonghan watched the young man slowly leaning forward close to him. It was so close that he could actually feel Joshua’s breathing, gently touching his soft skin. On the other hand, Joshua, who was looking quietly on his eyes, diverted his stares at Jeonghan’s soft and pinkish lips.

 

        The steady angel was alerted, but he waited. He’s actually waiting and expecting.

 

        Jeonghan was still hanging in the air. How dare Joshua to make him wait for so long?! But that strategy made him expect more. He was lured. He was attracted by those gentle and delicate stares. He waited… and waited until Joshua pressed his lips softly against his. That quick kiss felt so romantic and sweet, but Jeonghan was not satisfied at all. That kiss made him wish for more. What kind of sorcery was that. Joshua? Jeonghan thought that he’d wait again for a long time for another kiss… or maybe not, but the naughty gentleman dived into another kiss as soon as the 1^st one ended. Joshua was really unexpected. His passionate kisses made Jeonghan answer back. They fell back on bed as Jeonghan let Joshua dominate him completely.

 

        Before their passion led them to something extreme and more intimate, Joshua was smart enough to know their limitations; though, he finished his kiss ily by biting Jeonghan’s lower lips gently.

 

        On the other hand, Jeonghan was at daze recalling the ecstatic feel Joshua had brought him. His expression was cramped, so Joshua was somehow worried. He didn’t know if Jeonghan felt disgusted or what.

 

After a few seconds, Joshua confirmed that Jeonghan became a complete statue as he didn’t move a single muscle since their last touch, so he decided wake him up by scolding at him.

 

 

Joshua:

Ya… are your lips for free, Jeonghan-ah?

 

Jeonghan:

(Finally, he blinked)

How do you say that?

 

Joshua:

Kiss is like nothing to you.

 

Jeonghan:

That’s not true.

(He smirked)

And besides, who allowed you to do that?

I didn’t say anything.

I didn’t let you have the permission. Shua ya.

(With fake frowning face)

 

Joshua:

You did.

(He smirked)

I waited but you didn’t flinch.

You kiss me back and that’s so much permission, Jeonghan.

 

Jeonghan:

(He lose)

Fine! Good night.

 

Jeonghan smiled and covered his whole body from head to toe with his comforter as he felt delighted more than embarrassed. Before he went back to sleep, he was thinking of everything that happened between them and Joshua for the past few years they were together. He unravelled his comforter a little, enough to peak at the man on the other bed and thought…

 

        “Shua ya… you’ve been my angel since the beginning. Before I knew everybody else, you are there to guide and support me. You are there to take good care of me, even if, I’m uncontrollable sometimes. You cheer me up when I am down, you know me better than myself.  You know… I admired you a lot, but I guess, you did not notice that. You don’t know how jealous I am back then because I thought you like them more than I am.

(He giggled softly.)

I know the feeling Shua … and I feel guilty that I couldn’t even give you so much attention and love like you are giving me up until now… Your love is great and…

You are simply amazing, Joshua. Your smile gives me strength.

(He sighed)

I should be the one taking care of you now, but it ended up like those times again. I am still dependent on you…I know you are tired… but I really appreciate your love, Shua ya. I will treasure you forever. I love you.

(He remembered their kiss just now and smiled)

You silly!

But… you know this isn’t our first kiss nor the one you dared me not to talk inside the taxi. This isn’t the first time you shook me! Tsk! I might lose it.

But! I have to control myself, so help me.

(He giggled as he remembered the game they played in Taiwan during their concert)

But anyway… yeah. You are right. I gave you the permission, imma! How dare you make me wait so long!

…

Good night.

Thank you, Shua~”

 

-Korea-

 

        When they arrived in Korea, some boys were resting while some were in their appointments, like Jeonghan. He went to his doctor early in the morning for his check-up. He decided to leave the house alone, since he didn’t want to wake the others because he thought they deserved a good and proper rest.

 

        Upon meeting Doctor Eric inside the hospital, Jeonghan greeted him with a very beautiful but obviously weak smile, since he’s still sleepy and his body felt so heavy.

 

Doctor Eric:

How are you, Jeonghan?

Are you alone?

 

Jeonghan:

I’m fine. Well… I’m a little fine because I’m still sleepy.

Yup. They’re still sleeping.

 

Doctor Eric:

Have you been doing your exercises?

 

Jeonghan:

To be honest?

I sometimes forget because I get back to bed as soon as I step inside our hotel.

 

Doctor Eric:

I understand.

Jeonghan, we are doing some tests at the other patients and it was somehow effective. I hope that it will be the answer to our prayers.

Can I see your diary?

 

Jeonghan:

I’m shy.

(He giggled cutely)

 

Doctor:

Don’t worry, I’ll keep it a secret.

(He winked)

 

        He went to the other room to meet the interpreter so that the confidentiality would be regulated.

 

        It was cute when he used pseudonyms for each of the members with their cute nicknames he assigned because he didn’t want somebody to know who he was from the names of the people involved.

 

        After a quick scan, the doctor paid attention to the smallest details, like when do Jeonghan feel most comfortable or sad, or even scared and even loved. Upon scanning again, the doctor realized that it was indeed related to psychology. It was not the source, but it could contribute a lot on making people’s body weak. What people feel may reflect on how their bodies reacts to the sickness; however, he noticed that Jeonghan had this confusion and talked about it.

 

Doctor Eric:

What makes you sad, Jeonghan?

 

Jeonghan:

When others are sad. And when I am frustrated.

(He replied quickly)

 

Doctor Eric:

Then how about something that makes you happy?

 

Jeonghan:

When I am with the people I love.

 

Doctor Eric:

How about comfortable?

 

Jeonghan:

Ummm. When we are happy.

 

Doctor Eric:

At ease?

 

Jeonghan:

Ummm… when I know that somebody loves me? I’m not really sure.

(He giggled)

 

Doctor Eric:

I see.

You’re such an angel Jeonghan.

(He winked)

I will look further on your everyday activities. Jot everything down and I noticed that your body is becoming weaker Jeonghan… and the symptoms are not doing well.

It’s more painful, you say?

The last time I rushed to your house was quite alarming already.

 

Jeonghan:

I see.

(He became sad)

 

Doctor Eric:

(Looking at Jeonghan loosing hope made him feel disappointed of himself too.)

Just finish your meal and take your medicines. I guess I have to go with you on your next tour.

You need a dextrose, Jeonghan.

Your body might give in due to the stress and activities you are currently in.

 

Jeonghan:

I understand.

 

Doctor Eric:

We need to prevent you having an ulcer because your stomach cannot grind much food lately.

Internal bleeding would cause you a lot, so fight as you can.

I am just here for you.

 

Jeonghan:

I understand.

 

        When he’s done with his appointment, Jeonghan didn’t feel going home right away. He scanned his contacts and searched for someone to be with that time, and his Namjoon hyung caught his eyes. He was hesitant to call him, but he called him anyway, hoping that he’s free that morning. He didn’t wait long because RapMon answered his phone right before the second ring.

 

NamJoon:

Hi! Jeonghan?

 

Jeonghan:

(It took a little time before he replied because he was startled)

Ah… hyung, are you free now?

 

NamJoon:

(Looked at his surroundings to make sure no one was surveying him because if V caught him, their supposed to be proper talk would be ruined.)

Oh yeah.

 

Jeonghan:

Sorry, hyung but…

 

NamJoon:

Need to talk?

 

Jeonghan:

Mnn.

 

NamJoon:

Where are you now?

 

Jeonghan:

I am currently in Insadong.

 

NamJoon:

Okay. Stay there. I’ll meet you there. See you!

 

        As soon as the call ended, NamJoon made his action fast, so no one would see him, because V or JungKook or Jin might go with him if they knew he’s meeting Seventeen’s angel. Rap Mon didn’t want to spoil Jeonghan’s day and mood because of the boys. He thought that his dongsaeng really need a serious talk based on how he talked over the phone. He felt that he needed to protect that.

 

Later on, the two met inside a café in Insadong. Jeonghan greeted him with a very pretty face and smile that made NamJoon heart’s flutter. He greeted him back with his unusual charismatic smile with dimple.

 

NamJoon:

Have a seat.

What do you want?

 

Jeonghan:

How about you hyung?

I’m sorry for an immediate call.

 

NamJoon:

It’s fine.

C’mon, let’s relax.

(He winked)

I need some break too. I think it’s a good timing when you called.

This is on me.

 

Jeonghan:

Ah, no… it’s on me… please.

 

NamJoon:

You don’t want to make your hyung angry because of this.

(He smiled)

Stay still, Jeonghan.

 

Jeonghan:

(He smiled cutely)

Thank you, hyung.

 

NamJoon:

So, how are you?

I want to congratulate you in your world tour.

 

Jeonghan:

Thank you, hyung.

 

NamJoon:

So let’s start?

What do you wanna talk about?

(He said casually after ordering their breakfast.)

 

        In Jeonghan’s eyes, NamJoon looked so intimidating the first time they met each other, but he realized that he’s not. He’s rather a sweet and responsible hyung. He’s giving the vibe that it’s okay to talk to him, and it’s okay to rely on him. Slowly, he’s getting comfortable with the hyung on the other side of the table. He thought that Namjoon would really be a nice brother. His heart was so pleased that somehow, he had someone to talk with his problem aside from s, because it would be awkward to talk that topic in front of the subject.

 

Jeonghan:

Hyung… I am making everybody sad.

(He said with a sad and troubled tone)

 

NamJoon:

Why?

Is- is your sickness really bad?

 

Jeonghan:

It’s…

Please don’t tell others.

 

NamJoon:

Actually, V said that to us and he was terribly worried about you.

 

Jeonghan:

That puppy!

Anyway… I’m not as good as before and I don’t know if I could return my healthy body back.

 

NamJoon:

Then that’s a serious one.

(He jolted in surprise)

 

Jeonghan:

But hyung, don’t worry about me. I have someone who look after me. I mean everybody… my whole team… including yours.

(He giggled)

Sorry for worrying you too, hyung.

(He smiled)

 

NamJoon:

(He smiled)

We will always be with you, Jeonghan; though, my other members seems bringing you some trouble all the time.

(He sighed)

I see. Please be healthy Jeonghan.

You are a sweet person and if you give up, many people will feel sad.

V might take a suicide attempt.

(He joked)

He’s your avid fan, I guess.

 

Jeonghan:

(Little at ease)

Cute!

(He laughed)

 

NamJoon:

Anyway, what are you worried about?

 

Jeonghan:

Well…

I’m hurting them because they are seeing me weak.

I am hurting them because I can’t be anyone better for all of them.

They deserve love, but I always give them stress and sorrow.

 

NamJoon:

Jeonghan-ah, don’t you think that seeing yourself as a burden for all of them will just make them feel more worried?

I think they love you so much and they want to help you.

They are offering their help because they wanted you to rely on them too.

 

Jeonghan:

I know but, I think I am going overboard most of the time…

Like they sacrifice their time for me…

I deprive them rest and freedom.

(He bit his lips)

 

NamJoon:

That’s love, Hanie.

(He smiled)

You can’t blame them.

And besides, it would make them feel at ease.

Don’t you think they would do it if they don’t want to?

 

Jeonghan:

(He blushed)

But… what should I do?

 

NamJoon:

Just let them show their love and I think an acceptance is a good pay back.

Though, you need to somehow control everything.

(He smiled)

You are so precious to them Jeonghan.

They cannot afford to lose you.

 

Jeonghan:

(He sighed)

I’m still confused.

 

NamJoon:

Try to go with the flow…

I know, you know what’s best for your friends.

You’re not called as their mom if you cannot do that.

Try to talk to them too.

 

Jeonghan:

(He blushed)

But, it’d be awkward, hyung.

(He giggled)

 

NamJoon:

I see.

(He laughed)

Anyway, you can contact me anytime.

 

Jeonghan:

Thank you, hyung.

 

        Their order came. They ate and enjoyed a little chat while drinking their hot coffee. Unfortunately, they saw an unexpected guests. Their peaceful morning became a riot when Jin and Jimin showed themselves beside them.

 

Jin:

So… you didn’t tell me you two would meet, NamJoon ssi?

(With a sharp gaze)

 

Jeonghan:

Annyeong hasaeyo hyung, Jimin!

 

        The two greeted him back with a gentle smile; however, they gave Namjoon an evil and murderous gaze.

 

NamJoon:

What’s wrong? Can’t we just meet?

(He felt troubled and somehow, he knew this would happen)

 

Jin:

(He ignored Namjoon and offer his angelic smile to Jeonghan)

Have you eaten, Hanie?

 

Jimin:

I’ll get you what you want.

(He said shyly)

 

Jeonghan:

Ah, no. I’m fine now.

NamJoon hyung takes good care of me.

(He giggled)

 

Jin:

But Hanie, you can always call me. Why NamJoon?

 

NamJoon:

Because you look like you’d fool around.

Get back!

 

Jin:

No!

(He sat beside their leader and squeezed NamJoon to the wall intentionally.)

Jeonghan, tell him I am a good hyung too.

 

Jimin:

You can also talk to me.

(With a serious and sincere blank face)

 

Jeonghan:

Uh. Yeah… sure.

Thank you.

 

        Jimin squeezed his hyungs, pushing them forcibly to the wall to be able to fit in to the small couch in front of Jeonghan. The morning angel found them so adorable and giggled. They thought they were so close to each other too.

 

Jeonghan:

One can seat beside me.

(He smiled)

Don’t force yourself to fit in that small couch there.

(He laughed)

 

        Jimin hesitated to go beside Jeonghan because he was too shy, but Jin forced him out of his seat because they were too crowded in one chair. So the quiet man went beside Jeonghan, and he was too shy to touch hisskin and blushed.

 

Jeonghan:

We have lots of space here, Jimin.

(Tapped the space beside him.)

Feel comfortable.

 

Jimin:

(He smiled)

Ah… yes.

Thank you.

 

        When they became comfortable chatting, one by one, BTS members came.

 

Taehyung:

What’s the meaning of this?!

(He pouted his lips with a frown)

 

JungKook:

I knew NamJoon hyung was up to something when I saw him talking to someone on his phone.

 

NamJoon:

How did you guys find out?

 

Suga:

You are acting weird!

 

J-Hope:

You are like hiding something. You are being watchful to your surroundings. It’s like you are doing some illegal transactions.

Tsk!

 

NamJoon:

(He felt embarrassed on how s described him and face palmed)

We’re doomed.

I’m sorry Jeonghan.

 

Jeonghan:

It’s fine.

(He laughed heartily)

 

        A date with BTS was not so bad at all. In fact, Jeonghan was a little healed because of them. He got some useful advices too from each and every one of them.

 

-SEBONG’s DORM-

 

        Before they would pack their things again for their next destination, which was Malaysia, Soon Young had just finished taking shower and saw his Angel lying on the floor with his fluffy hamster plush.

 

Hoshi:

How is our lazy angel doing?

(He went merrily)

 

Jeonghan:

(Gave him a faint smile)

Doing fine… lying down as always, my star.

 

        Hoshi grabbed Jeonghan’s cold hands, which surprised him, but he didn’t allow himself to panic because Jeonghan was watching.

 

Hoshi:

Aigoo, hyung!

You are cold again.

(Despite his happy appearance, his eyes were worried about it)

Wanna have a heavenly massage by the greatest star?

 

Jeonghan:

My pleasure.

(He giggled)

 

        Hoshi got some lotion first before he massaged Jeonghan’s delicate hands. Meanwhile, Jeonghan was following Hoshi with his sweet gazes and talked to himself.

 

“I am seeing the most handsome and y Hum (man)-(ham) ster I’ve ever seen. He’s a star indeed!

 

Hoshi-ya…”

 

        That time, Hoshi went back and sit beside the quiet angel.

 

Hoshi:

Give me your hand.

 

        Jeonghan gave his hand willingly, and he continued talking to himself while looking fondly to his hamster.

 

“Hoshi-ya, how can you be so appealing?” He smiled.

 

        While Hoshi was massaging his arms and hand as gentle as possible, he sang a sweet song for his sweet customer. It was medley because he sings whatever comes into his mind first.

 

Hoshi:

How are you, customer-nim?

(Looked directly to Jeonghan’s eyes. He became shy when he caught Jeonghan steadily looking at him. Then, he looked back down to his hyung’s hand.)

How was it, hyung?

(He blushed as he was startled)

 

Jeonghan:

Very good, Soon Young ah.

Thank you. That relaxes me.

 

Hoshi:

At your service.

(He displayed his vitamin-like smile with his fluffy cheeks)

Won’t you sleep yet?

 

Jeonghan:

Maybe sometime later?

And you?

 

Hoshi:

Well, gotta do some choreos.

 

Jeonghan:

Don’t get yourself tired Hoshi ya.

 

Hoshi:

Of course.

 

Jeonghan:

Because you will massage me tomorrow as well.

(He teased)

 

Hoshi:

Sure!

(He smiled as they met their eyes… then, Jeonghan saw Soon Young’s expression turned into a serious one.)

Hyung, don’t let go of my hand, okay? In good and in bad times.

 

 

        He was currently Jeonghan’s hands and pulled it gently to his face as he smelled his luxurious scent, burying his lips on that soft, silky skin of the sweetest person in the world. Jeonghan was moved and became flattered.

 

        On the other hand, Jeonghan’s thought kept running while thinking of his Soon Young.

 

“Soon Young ah, I know you are not just an ordinary lover. You are the greatest star in the galaxy. Remember that… You know why? Because you are my Soon Young.

(He smiled while looking at Soon Young)

You are so brave for someone hurting. You cry, but you can pull out a smile after that. I don’t know how you do that, but I know it’s hard. You already told me that you are jealous. That’s cute!

(Caressed his Star’s cheeks)

But I know it’s true and you are serious about it. Forgive me. But I promise I will do my best to show my love for you. You are my light, Hoshi. I will protect your love. Let’s shine together.

We are not always together, but you always make me feel a lot better when we have the chance.  Some people may think that you are so fluffy and cute, but I should say that you are a very romantic guy. I am sure of that.

Your touches are soft but I can actually feel that I am secured and cared for. The way you hold me or carry me… I could feel that you will not allow me to fall. You’re smile is my vitamins, you know. It’s more effective than those than I’ve been drinking.

You are a reliable man, Soon Young. Your love is the type where people would long for your embraces that’s why I miss you every time.

When you asked my permission if it’s okay for you to act like a boyfriend to me…

I realized… you didn’t know that I already allowed that long time ago.

But I guess you just need some formality.

(He giggled)

I love you, my star.”

 

Jeonghan:

Thank you. I won’t.

You gotta trust me too, Hoshi.

 

        After Hoshi left, he looked at his phone and saw his Doctor’s message. Then, he texted their manager and CEO that he needed to go and talk to them alone.