세븐틴: Loss of Confidence

 

        It was an extraordinaire night for Jeonghan and Woozi. It was unexpected; nevertheless, it somehow gave Jihoon a break –both from work and personal matters. At last, their genius introvert –almost grumpy- composer got to take a deep breath from the pressure he was in. He went out to relax, and at the same time, he managed to say what was in his heart to his hyung for the first time.

 

        Though it bothers him about Jeonghan’s reaction from the kiss- not just a peck, but a more passionate kiss. He thought Jeonghan would be angry at him, but he seemed fine. Poor Jihoon, he was more surprised than his unpredictable hyung.

 

Jihoon:

Hyung?

 

Jeonghan:

Mmmm?

 

Jihoon:

I’m surprised that kisses do not affect you anymore.

 

Jeonghan:

(He smiled with a calm expression.)

What can I do? I cannot predict what’s on your mind.

I’m quite surprised too, can’t you see?

 

Jihoon:

Yeah… earlier, but now you seems okay.

 

Jeonghan:

(He giggled as he noticed how dumbfounded his genius was.)

What’s wrong with kisses?

I’m starting to love them.

Mmmm… maybe better than calling you by nicknames, since you don’t want it anyway.

(He teased to see Jihoon’s reaction; though, he had a little conflict with himself too –if he was really just teasing him or if he really starting to like it.)

 

Jihoon:

And why do you change your confirmation of love strategy?

 

Jeonghan:

Actions speak louder than voice, Jihoonie~

 

Jihoon:

So,

(He smiled bitterly)

So kisses are just- just nothing- nothing special? Just a confirmation o-

 

Jeonghan:

Jihoon-ah, I may sound selfish and weird but it’s special to me.

(He shyly confirmed)

And don’t ever assume that I love someone more and someone least.

(He scolded him, but with a smile. Later on, he linked hands with Jihoon, while the other one was holding Jihoon’s cheeks.)

Don’t sat that again. Ever again!

I treasure every one of you and I love your unique characteristics.

That makes you, you. Right?

(He winked)

 

Jihoon:

(Smirked)

Got a safe answer there, hyung.

You’re giving me a hint that you won’t choose.

 

Jeonghan:

Hmmm… you can say that I’m a bit greedy.

I choose all of you.

I don’t plan to make you look for another one but me.

(He laughed)

 

Jihoon:

Aigoo!

Witty.

 

Jeonghan:

What?

What’s wrong?

(He giggled)

Your love is my energy!

 

 

Jihoon:

That’s why I feel weak every time I kiss you.

(He chuckled)

You’re getting it from me.

(He said coolly, but the truth was, he’s trembling inside.)

 

        His hyung was speechless on how Jihoon rebuked him, but in order to not make it awkward for the both of them, he was pressured to answer back and play cool.

 

Jeonghan:

(Jeonghan blushed because he’s shy.)

Jihoon ah, I’m sorry. My answers are quite unacceptable.

(He smiled with a sad eyes)

I don’t know how to show you how much I love all of you.

I don’t want to lose any of you.

 

Jihoon:

Smart decision!

I’m fine with this.

Don’t worry, kisses are only reserved for a special occasions like this.

(He smiled)

I won’t spoil you.

(He spoke in a soft voice, but he made sure that his hyung would hear it.)

 

Jeonghan:

(He laughed)

Aigoo~

(He took a deep breath.)

Hoonie~ I wonder if you ever felt that I’m a bit lacking to all of you?

I mean… I’m serious with my action. Please…. please… please be honest.

(He begged sincerely.)

 

Jihoon:

You really want an honest one?

(Jeonghan nodded)

Well…I guess you are the only one to put us all together.

And…

(Took a deep breath as he looked down.)

You are the only one who will break us apart.

 

Jeonghan:

(Sighed)

You’re so harsh to me.

(Pouted his lips)

Anyway, what should I do?

(He felt sad not because of the comment. He knew Jihoon was right. He was sad because he couldn’t do anything about it.)

 

Jihoon:

Sorry.

But… I didn’t mea-

 

Jeonghan:

I’m okay. Don’t worry.

It’s better like this. It’s more unbearable if I know nothing. Please feel free to tell me, Jihoon.

Promise me?

(Raised his pinky, waiting for Jihoon’s action.)

 

        Jihoon nodded and stayed quiet because he didn’t know what to say. He was afraid that he ended up hurting his hyung’s feelings, but he knew Jeonghan would be at ease hearing those things too.

 

        Honestly, hearing those words from Jihoon made Jeonghan’s heart broken and guilty. He knew he’s causing too much inconvenience for the group, but he was glad that his dongsaeng opened up his feelings to him. Now, Jeonghan was thinking of how to show them the love they deserved.

 

Jeonghan became quiet at the moment, while Jihoon was just observing him. Sometime later, Jihoon asked something he was curious about.

 

Jihoon:

Hyung, if you have a chance…

 

Jeonghan:

Hmm?

 

Jihoon:

Will you choose?

 

Jeonghan:

No!

I think… I’ll choose to be a play boy.

If that’s okay with you.

(He became shy because he felt that his confidence was too much.)

 

Jihoon:

You already are!

(He laughed and looked at the blushing playboy.)

Thank god you are.

I will be hurt if you only focus on one person.

I might kill him.

 

Jeonghan:

(He was shocked by Jihoon’s intent to kill.)

Ya! Stop that!

 

        They both laugh, but later on, it became quiet again.

 

Jihoon:

Hyung?

What are you thinking right now?

 

        Jihoon asked that random question because ever since he came back from his coma, he began thinking deeply once in a while. Before, he knew that he was just lazy moving around, but this time, you could see how deep he thinks with his confused and sad eyes.

 

Jeonghan:

Why?

Now?

I wanna go home because I am sleepy.

(He smiled)

 

Jihoon:

No. I mean, what have you been thinking lately?

 

Jeonghan:

What do you mean?

 

Jihoon:

Are you doubting yourself?

 

Jeonghan:

How come you arrived in that conclusion?

 

Jihoon:

Maybe that’s the reason why you keep on receiving our ‘unusual’ love because you’re taking all the time to be with us?

Are you thinking that you are running out of time?

 

        Jeonghan was surprised on how Jihoon figured out what he was worrying about. Lately, Jeonghan was thinking of how could he possibly show and receive their love with the moments he have with them. He’s doing anything just to use all the time he had. He felt that he was given a limited time to be with them that was why he’s acting sweeter than usual; moreover, he became quieter than before. Far from the naughty lazy, but jolly Jeonghan before.

 

Jeonghan:

(He smiled sadly)

You can’t blame me, Jihoon.

Sorry. I know what I am thinking and doing is wrong but-

 

Jihoon:

I told you I’m fine with it.

(He smiled)

I’m glad that you decided to be a playboy.

(He giggled)

At least we all have the chance to show you everything.

 

Jeonghan:

Hoon-ah, you’re love for me is…?

 

Jihoon:

You want me to confess to you right now, hyung?

(He teased the blushing angel)

 

Jeonghan:

(He stuttered)

Ah-no- I mean… you know, I just-

 

Jihoon:

Want a confirmation?

(He more)

Yeah.

I love you.

(He said quickly but sweetly.)

Don’t answer it anymore. I know you will tell it to others too.

Tsk!

What a playboy!

(He laughed)

 

Jeonghan:

(Blushed with Jihoon’s cool yet sweet confession.)

You really love me that much Jihoon?

(With an innocent question that Jihoon never expected. He thought he already defeated Jeonghan, but he was wrong.)

 

Jihoon:

(Blushed)

Y-yeah.

(Maintained his ‘tough guy’ image although he was shook by it.)

 

Jeonghan:

Why? How?

Hoon-ah, tell me the truth.

Look at me.

(Forced Jihoon to look at his face.)

Do I really look like a woman?

(He threw the obvious question first because he was uneasy. He thought that, if that’s the case, it’s a very big problem in his future.)

 

Jihoon:

(More stunned)

W-what?

You wanna know the reason?!

 

Jeonghan:

Yeah.

I badly need it.

 

Jihoon:

What?!

(Cleared his throat with his stomping heart.)

O-okay! Listen carefully.

(Looked at him sincerely.)

Hyung, you are more beautiful than your face.

Remember that… always!

(He smiled gently and calmly.)

 

Jeonghan:

Thank you Jihoon-ah.

I’m sorry, I can’t tell you what my feelings are.

I’m gonna keep it inside me.

(He giggled)

 

Jihoon:

It’s unfair but fine.

(He scoffed)

But hyung, I know we are not normal anymore.

I mean all of us.

I bet that somebody had already put their lips onto yours.

 

Jeonghan panicked.

 

Jihoon:

But! Don’t ever! Don’t you ever lay in bed in any of us!

Prevent us from doing that. Or just don’t seduce us. Okay?

(He told him straight to the point with a threat.)

 

Jeonghan:

(He was speechless for a second and he didn’t know how to reply)

W-wha-

(He blushed)

Y-y-ya…

 

Jihoon:

I’m talking about possibilities, hyung.

You cannot predict it. Remember that.

Am I clear here?

 

Jeonghan:

I-i don’t know what you are talking about.

(Playing dumb as ever.)

 

Jihoon:

C’mon, hyung. I know you know what I mean.

 

Jeonghan:

I-I’m really- really speechless right now.

 

Jihoon:

Like I said, you cannot predict a person’s mind.

We cannot even control ourselves sometimes.

 

Jeonghan:

How can you think of that?!

 

Jihoon:

A man has own desires too, Yoon Jeonghan.

(He smirked)

We’re all living in one house, you know.

Take that in mind.

…

 

        Jihoon looked at the surprised playing-innocent angel in front of him. He was amused on how Jeonghan reacted on what he had said. He thought he was mature enough to handle everything he said, but he was wrong again. Their hyung was really pure. That night, he broke Jeonghan’s wings.

 

Jihoon:

(He laughed)

C’mon!

Let’s go now.

(He said casually.)

 

        Jihoon held Jeonghan’s hand and tried to call a cab.

 

Jeonghan:

I want to walk for a while, Jihoon.

(He insisted)

 

Jihoon:

I thought, you are already sleepy?

 

Jeonghan:

I want to talk with you some more.

 

Jihoon:

I won’t answer you anymore. That’s enough. Let’s go home now.

 

Jeonghan:

But Jihoon-

 

Jihoon:

No buts! Let’s go home and we’ll ride a taxi.

 

        Jihoon finally called a taxi and went home. Jeonghan couldn’t ask the cute manly guy because he was shy from the driver, so he remained quiet until he finally fell asleep. Jihoon could already hear his long and strong breathes. He carefully leaned Jeonghan to his shoulders; though, he needed to move a little for him to rest comfortably.

 

Jihoon:

Aigoo~ I think I revealed something that he can’t still take.

(He smiled)

Such a baby.

 

        When they arrived home, Jihoon woke Jeonghan up, but he’s turned into a sleeping beauty again. He asked the driver kindly to help him carry Jeonghan on his back. So, they walked to the gates and entered their house. When they came, they’ve been asking of where they went because they heard no news from them. No call, no text at all. They couldn’t even reach them.

 

Jihoon:

We just went on a date.

 

Wonwoo:

Want me to help you there?

(Carrying Jeonghan)

 

Jihoon:

I’m fine. Just help me to put him in his bed.

 

Jun:

I hope he wake up early tomorrow.

He looks tired.

(He smiled)

 

Seungcheol:

Just lay him on my bed. I will sleep in his bed.

 

        The boys helped Jihoon out to carry Jeonghan to their room and let him sleep. They had a very good rest that night because they slept at around 9 in the evening –one of their earliest sleep.

 

 

        The next day, Jun woke up early and went straight to the kitchen to look for some food to cook on their breakfast. Later on, one lazy angel was walking dragging his body near the kitchen. Jeonghan went in the kitchen holding his phone, with his messy hair.

 

Jeonghan:

Jun, good morning~

(With a sweet smile but hoarse voice.)

 

Jun:

Good morning!

Did you have a good sleep?

 

Jeonghan:

It’s not enough.

(Continued to walk in the kitchen)

 

        Jun walked towards him and gave him a warm embrace. And Jeonghan exchanged it with a hug too.

 

Jun:

What do you want for breakfast, hyung?

 

Jeonghan:

(He smiled with his half-closed eyes)

Pancake, Jun.

I want sweet pancakes for breakfast.

 

Jun:

Alright.

Wash your face now while I’m cooking.

 

Jeonghan:

I already wash.

 

Jun:

You sure?

(He laughed)

How come you are not awake yet?

 

Jeonghan:

I’m still sleepy.

 

        He buried his face on Jun’s chest. While Jun wrapped his arms around Jeonghan’s thin framed body and sway a little to keep him awake.

 

Jun:

Hyung, don’t sleep. We have shooting today.

 

Jeonghan:

I’m so lazy, Jun.

Just drag me to the set.

 

        Jun laughed and held Jeonghan’s cheeks and forced him to look at him.

 

Jun:

Hanie-hyung, wake up.

(Squishing Jeonghan’s cheeks softly.)

Wake up.

(With a y call)

 

Jeonghan:

(He smiled and acted cute.)

I don’t want.

 

Jun:

Should I give you morning kisses?

 

        The angel nodded like a child with his sweet smile and closed eyes. The outrageous Jun got a hold of his angel’s face and showered him kisses from his forehead to cheeks to chin, and finally a quick kiss on Jeonghan’s lips. It didn’t surprise Jeonghan as well as Jun. As if it was a daily routine for the both of them. Well, they should blame their characters and director and writers for that.

 

 

On the other hand, Jun was already aware about their group’s feelings and relationship with Jeonghan. Of course, he was pretty sure that the others knew that thing too, including Jeonghan. Well, it’s pretty obvious now. And they all knew it’s hard, but they chose to be like that, so no one would get hurt; moreover, they thought it was better than competing with one another. They were afraid to ruin their beautiful friendship.

 

        Meanwhile, Jeonghan understood everything. After all his self-rejections of his feelings, he already realized, that it was time for him to accept.

 

Jun:

You’re already used to it.

(He smiled)

Aigoo~ I will miss those surprise reactions, hyung.

What makes you accept us?

 

Jeonghan:

You’re observant my con artist.

The title fits you.

You don’t want?

(He teased)

 

Jun:

I like, but…

It’s still up to you.

(He smiled)

I might get used to it too.

(He giggled)

Aigoo ya, hyung, what change you?

 

Jeonghan:

So you know what’s going on?

 

Jun:

Yeah. We’re being obvious here, hyung.

We’re making it obvious because you don’t feel it.

Or you purposely ignores it.

(Squinting his eyes)

Good thing you can recognize us now.

 

Jeonghan:

I don’t want to think anymore.

(He laughed)

I’m just having a trouble building a futile invisible wall that might end up hurting all of you.

 

Jun:

That’s nice!

(He approved it so much.)

 

Jeonghan:

(Finally opened his eyes to look at the daring and y Jun)

Did you tell everybody?

 

Jun:

I didn’t have to.

(He smirked)

 

Jeonghan:

So it’s okay if we stay what we are now?

 

Jun:

Definitely!

I’ll enjoy it.

 

Jeonghan:

You’re not worried that I am a playboy?

 

Jun:

Like I said, I will enjoy it.

(He said.)

I know you treat us well and equally.

I’m not worried.

 

Jeonghan:

Really?

I hope I am doing right.

 

Jun:

Just follow your heart…

Or hearts? Or pieces of hearts?

I don’t know how you say it.

(He laughed heartily.)

 

Jeonghan:

(He smiled)

You’re cool, Jun!

Don’t look for a play girl.

I’m enough.

(He giggled)

 

Jun:

Sure.

I will only look at you.

 

Jeonghan:

You have no plans looking for a partner forever?

 

Jun:

I don’t have to.

I already have one.

 

Jeonghan:

Daebak!

You’re willing to have people to share?

(His eyes became big)

 

Jun:

Yeah.

 

Jeonghan:

Don’t be like that!

(He scolded)

Ya! You deserve someone that would focus on you. And of course, love you.

 

Jun:

You love me right?

 

Jeonghan:

Of course!

All of you.

(He giggled)

 

Jun:

I don’t feel looking for someone yet.

And besides, I am more than satisfied with what you are giving me.

How can I look for another person?

You’re my one and only.

(He smiled sweetly.)

 

Jeonghan:

Ya, Jun. I’m worried about you.

 

Jun:

Don’t be. I’m fine.

 

Jeonghan:

Jun, we need to stay on earth.

(He teased the romantic Jun.)

Actually, I’m quite troubled because I promised someone that I won’t accept yet. Aigoo.

(He sighed heavily.)

What should I do?

 

Jun:

I know that.

Who are you talking about?

 

Jeonghan:

My baby councillor Chan.

 

Jun:

Ummm… can you hear your con artist’s advice?

 

Jeonghan:

I’ll give it a try.

(He giggled)

 

Jun:

Sharing is better than being rejected.

(He smirked)

 

Jeonghan:

You’re really makes me look like a playboy, Jun.

 

Jun:

You already said you are!

 

Jeonghan:

Oh yeah.

I am.

Jun let’s date!

 

Jun:

If you are free. Don’t push yourself, hyung.

 

Jeonghan:

I want it later after our schedule.

 

Jun:

Alright.

(He smiled)

Sit and wait for the pancakes.

Don’t dare sleep again!

 

Jeonghan:

Alright.

Or let me just help you.

 

        Jeonghan made the batter, while Jun was preparing for the pan and other materials needed. They decided to cook their pancakes first before cooking the others. Jun served the hot pancakes with butter and maple syrup on top with an instant coffee. They both enjoyed it and prepared everything before leaving the house.

 

Preparing food for 13 people was exhausting. They felt that they were already tired right after they cooked, but what could they do? They love one another… and besides tired body was no match for their full heart because loving is not tiring at all.

 

-The Prince is a Fool Set-

 

        Some TV program and hosts attended their ‘behind the scenes’ for a little scoop in their episode. And of course, for promotions too.

 

The interviewers arrived setting up their cameras to shoot the behind the scenes of the anticipated movie of the year. Camera men were busy strolling around the set to get some clips and to interview people, especially the actors and the director and producers about the film and their roles.

 

        Later on, the two boys arrived at the set at exactly 8:00 am. The boys immediately went to the dressing room, and they were surprised that someone was already filming inside. The two got conscious and hid themselves behind the curtains to change.

 

Then, they were ready for their hair and make-up to be done. They sat on the chair in front of the well-lit mirrors having their make-up first. They became conscious because the camera men kept on filming them up close. Jeonghan and Jun couldn’t help but to giggle in embarrassment. They couldn’t tell them to stop filming because they were shy and it was their job.

 

        After filming them, the two young men proceeded to their director to discuss something about the film before acting. All the casts received instructions for their remaining shooting and for the interview that day.

 

        Each of them would be interviewed individually, while their break and there was one interview for the whole cast at the end of the day.

 

        One by one, they were interviewed while the others were still filming. As usual for the other camera men, they filmed some clips of the scenes too. Later on, before Jeonghan could go to his interview, he was called by his director.

 

Director:

Jeonghan-ah, remember the VTR we did last time?

About the film I am asking you to audition?

The producers and I would like to do some eliminations first until we picked the final three and you are one of them.

 

Jeonghan:

I see.

(He became quiet and he was hesitating speaking to the director)

 

Director:

What’s wrong?

(He observed the naughty Jeonghan suddenly changed his mood into a quiet one.)

 

        Actually, since Jeonghan couldn’t eat that much, it was obvious that his body was getting thinner; moreover, his energy was not enough for his tiring schedule. It’s not that he couldn’t handle doing things anymore; however, he could feel that he was getting weaker each time, but he tried to stay the way he was in order for his loved ones not to worry about him. Besides, he couldn’t ruin a big project because of his attacks.

 

Jeonghan:

Director?

 

Director:

Yes, dear.

 

Jeonghan:

I am very grateful of that offer, but…

(With a serious puppy eyes)

I don’t want to delay everything because of me.

I’m so sorry.

 

Director:

What do you mean?

You said that your attacks were getting weaker?

(He was worried)

 

Jeonghan:

Please don’t tell this to anyone but...

I think and I am planning to spend all the time I can for my family and close friends.

 

Director:

(He was surprised that Jeonghan’s confidence was becoming weaker)

Don’t say that!

This kid, really!

You said you’re getting-

 

Jeonghan:

But Director-nim. What if one day I cannot open my eyes anymore?

 

Director:

Ya! I told you don’t speak those words again!

You’re making me nervous!

(He scolded him with a loud voice, which caught some of the staffs’ attention.)

 

Jeonghan:

My doctor said, we can’t expect improvement yet.

He said that although my attacks are milder than before, but my body is not absorbing that much.

I am afraid that I might be a nuisance. I don’t want to bother you. I know you always protect me because you love me Director-nim. But this time-

(He displayed a sad and troubled face.)

 

        The director felt that Jeonghan was already giving up. He thought that maybe it was also hard for him too. That sickness was not that easy to handle, and it was still threatening. His heart felt pain and he couldn’t speak anymore. All he did was he hugged him tightly and kissed his head.

 

Director:

Jeonghan-ah, next time when you feel better, try to call me. Alright?

I won’t force you anymore.

You should rest for a while. I understand that, but don’t ever give up, my son.

 

Jeonghan:

Thank you Director-nim.

 

Director:

But if you can do the role…

(Not giving up, but he was trying to joke around in order for Jeonghan to feel light.)

 

Jeonghan:

Director nim? You are not giving up, aren’t you?

(They both chuckled.)

Alright. I’ll give you a call.

 

Director:

You can call me anytime. Call me when you want to talk to someone.

Or you feel like drinking. Or if you are troubled with something… anything!

Alright?

 

Jeonghan:

Aigoo~

Don’t worry director.

I’ll try my very best.

And how can I be comfortable drinking with you?

(He giggled sweetly and shyly.)

 

Director:

Think that I am like your father.

Because you are always my baby, Jeonghanie~

(Patted his head gently)

 

Jeonghan:

Thank you.

 

        The call for the next interview was in a good timing because the two had a good talk. Jeonghan went at the interview location, and he noticed that HyeJin, JiHyo and InSung were following him with their stares, but he ignored it and proceeded to his individual interview.

 

 Actually, the three of them heard what they were talking from behind the walls. They happened to be reviewing their scripts from the other side where Jeonghan and the director had their conversation. For a while, they stopped practicing and decided to listen.

 

        While doing the interview, the three older ones held their own meeting and decided to invite their baby angel for a talk.

 

        Jeonghan’s 1^st shooting ended nicely. He went to the catering and get his food. He was starving after doing a stunt, given that he only ate 2 pieces of pancakes in the morning. He had lunch with his HyeJin hyung beside him. It only took a few bites for him to not accept his food again. He ran to the bathroom to vomit, while HyeJin ran to assist him.

 

        It made Jeonghan shed tears because his stomach and throat were hurting a lot from throwing up. On the other hand, HyeJin was the one who’s holding his long artificial hair, and he also patted Jeonghan’s back lightly.

 

 He waited for Jeonghan to finish and assisted him back to their dining table. On one hand, the poor angel was just too dizzy to walk any further. He held HyeJin’s hands for him to stop.

 

Jeonghan:

Hyung, I’m dizzy.

 

HyeJin:

You want me to carry you?

 

Jeonghan:

Nope.

 

HyeJin:

Want me to embrace you instead?

 

        Jeonghan nodded and received his strong yet warm embrace. HyeJin was caressing his baby princess’ head and waited for him to feel better.

 

HyeJin:

(After a while)

Hanie-ya, let’s have a date later with Jihyo noona, and Insung hyung.

 

Jeonghan:

(Looked at his crowned prince hyung with a pouty face.)

But hyung~

I have a date later.

 

HyeJin:

With?

 

Jeonghan:

With my Junhui.

 

HyeJin:

Cancel it first.

I need to talk to you. Okay?

I’ll tell him.

 

Jeonghan:

But I miss my Junie~

 

        HyeJin gave him a cold stare and slapped his forehead with a little force. Jeonghan was surprised and wore a disbelief face.

 

Jeonghan:

(Brushing his forehead)

Aw! That hurts!

Why’d’ya do that?

 

HyeJin:

Just do what I say.

Why? You don’t miss us?

(With his half opened eyes)

 

Jeonghan:

I miss you but I promised Jun already.

I’ll schedule it tomorrow.

(He grinned)

 

HyeJin:

Ya! Can’t you just tell him?

You can do your date later!

Can’t we go first?

You have a lot of time to do that. You see each other every day.

 

Jeonghan:

(He was smiling; though, his eyes are sad.)

But I already said that to him.

 

HyeJin:

Its okay, Han-ah.

Why? Is it his birthday?

 

Jeonghan:

Nope.

I just want to be with him this time.

 

HyeJin:

So you don’t want us?

 

Jeonghan:

Eyyy hyung. Don’t be jealous.

I will meet you tomorrow.

(He giggled)

 

HyeJin:

Why?

(With a serious tone)

Are you running out of time? huh?!

(He tried to trap Jeonghan)

 

Jeonghan:

Yeah.

 

        He received a more intense slap on his beautiful flawless forehead.

 

HyeJin:

Say that again and I’ll hit you one more time!

 

Jeonghan:

Aw!

You said it. I just answered!

(He looked at HyeJin intensely, rubbing his poor red forehead.)

Alright. Alright.

(He grinned)

Tomorrow.

 

HyeJin:

What?!

 

Jeonghan:

Yeah… because my Junhui is waiting for me.

(He giggled)

I’ll let you date me tomorrow.

 

HyeJin:

Wow!

Really Jeonghan?!

(He giggled)

Alright.

It seemed that I cannot defeat any of your members.

Do you have any schedule for the others too?

I’ll fill up the vacant one.

 

Jeonghan:

No schedule yet.

I’m finding the right time because they are all busy nowadays.

And I cannot give you every vacant, you know.

I need alone time too.

(He smiled)

 

HyeJin:

Alright.

I’ll talk to Jun.

 

Jeonghan:

No!

(He rejected cutely.)

Oh! We can do that this lunch break, though.

Our talk.

(He grinned)

 

HyeJin:

(He sighed)
alright.

I feel bad because you’re just giving us your excess time.

(He acted with a sorrowful eyes, trying to make Jeonghan guilty.)

 

Jeonghan:

Eyyyy,

Hyuuuuuung~

Don’t be like that.

I already reserved my tomorrow for you.

 

HyeJin:

Alright.

(He smiled)
I was just joking.

(Patted his dongsaeng’s head)

I’ll just call them.

 

        So, the five shinning actors –InSung, Ah-In, Jihyo, HyeJin, and Jeonghan- went inside a café for a little talk, so that they won’t disturb Jeonghan and Jun’s date later at night.

 

        The angel on hot seat was nervous that time because he didn’t know how he would take his hyungs and noona’s questions. They sat at the corner of the café.

 

InSung:

So, Jeonghan, what do you want me to buy you?

Don’t worry, this is my treat.

(He smiled charmingly.)

 

Jeonghan:

(Tried to be jolly in the midst of his anxiety.)

If that’s the case, then, I want an iced Americano and a cake.

 

InSung:

Alright.

 

Ah-In:

Me too?

 

InSung:

Buy your own.

(He joked)

 

        They all laughed and ended up getting a treat with their eldest. InSung didn’t mind and ordered a whole cake for them to eat. They also include Jun in their order.

 

HyeJin:

Let’s start the talk, Hanie.

You can’t escape your hyungs and noona.

 

JiHyo:

Jeonghan, feel free to talk to us.

Don’t take it alone.

(With an obvious worried face.)

 

Jeonghan:

Alright. Thank you.

(He smiled)

 

HyeJin:

We heard your conversation with the director.

 

Jeonghan:

Really?!

 

InSung:

Why do you think of that, Jeonghan? We’re all worried.

 

Jeonghan:

It’s a long story.

 

Ah-In:

Are you hurting so much?

 

Jeonghan:

To be honest?

(They nodded)

Yes.

 

JiHyo:

Is it something, you cannot handle anymore?

 

Jeonghan:

Sometimes.

(He gave a very brief answer.)

 

        However, Jeonghan left the boys quiet. Ji Hyo, however, -the bravest of all of them- was the only one who’s doing all the talks.

 

JiHyo:

Tell me what happened.

 

Jeonghan:

Promise me that you won’t tell anybody.

 

JiHyo:

But you also have to promise us to call if you badly need someone to be by your side.

 

Jeonghan:

Alright. But I think it won’t or rather sometimes happen.

(He giggled)

They all protect me.

They won’t leave me alone.

(He smiled)

 

InSung:

Then, good job.

Now tell us the long story.

(He looked at his watch)

We still have an hour to talk about it.

 

Jeonghan:

(Sighed)

I don’t want you to have pity on me.

(He pouted.)

 

JiHyo:

Sure baby.

(She touched the gorgeous baby angel on his cheeks)

Aigoo~ you are getting thinner.

 

Jeonghan:

I’ll explain it.

 

        Jeonghan started telling them the story of why he suddenly felt that way.

 

 

-Flashback-

 

        One time, Jeonghan went with his parents to see Doctor Eric for his check-up, since neither Joshua nor Vernon couldn’t come for him to translate everything. They looked for some interpreter instead.

 

Doctor Eric:

How are you, sleeping beauty?

(He smiled)

 

Jeonghan:

I’m fine.

(He smiled)

 

Doctor Eric:

So, let me check your blood pressure and your weight first.

 

        After seeing the result, the doctor produced a heavy sigh upon knowing that Jeonghan was getting lighter each time he goes for a check-up.

 

Doctor Eric:

Jeonghan, what’s happening?

I thought I made myself clear already?

 

Jeonghan:

But, I cannot eat, doctor.

I keep on vomiting.

 

Doctor:

(Sighed again)

But do you try again?

 

Jeonghan:

I tried but…

 

Doctor Eric:

Do you drink your vitamins?

 

Jeonghan:

I never forget that.

(He smiled)

 

Doctor Eric:

How are you feeling? Can you tell me the other details?

 

Jeonghan:

Ummm… my attacks seldom come.

And if ever it attacks me, it’s just a mild one.

I can tolerate.

But I vomit a lot. I sleep a lot…

I have nosebleeds too and-

 

        While enumerating everything he’s experiencing, the doctor got an emergency call from London and he needed to answer it, so he excused himself for a while.

 

Doctor Eric:

Excuse me for a while. I need to get this call.

 

Jeonghan:

Sure.

 

        After a while, as Doctor Eric entered the room, he looked a little disappointed. Jeonghan was still clueless but you can’t remove him the feeling of curiosity and anxiety.

 

Doctor Eric:

I’m sorry with that.

Let’s continue.

(He smiled)

What else?

 

Jeonghan:

Mmm… I have headaches too.

Then recently, the contusions are frequent.

 

Doctor Eric:

Hmmm… is that so?

Jeonghan, from now on, I need you to write everything you feel. When I say everything…

I want you to write a diary of your activities, the pain you are experiencing. I need every details. Is that clear? And your feelings too.

…

If you are happy or not… If you are sad or if you are feeling down… if you are excited or perhaps, if you are liking something or somebody and why? Okay? And after that, state how you feel. Alright?

I think I need to check your behaviour and psychology too.

(Before he ended his session, he remembered something.)

And have a CT scan and show me the result.

 

Jeonghan:

Okay.

 

Doctor Eric:

I’ll be gone for a week.

Keep doing your therapy.

I’ll be back as soon as possible.

 

Jeonghan:

Okay, doc.

Ummm…

Is it about a patient?

(Finally he got guts to ask him the question)

 

Doctor Eric:

Yes.

 

Jeonghan:

Is there something wrong?

 

Doctor Eric:

(He didn’t want to tell him but he got no choice)

Yeah.

 

Jeonghan:

May I know?

 

Doctor Eric:

You promise that you will keep on fighting no matter what Jeonghan.

 

Jeonghan:

(He became nervous)

Okay.

 

Doctor Eric:

This patient of my friend is as same age as yours.

She just discovered her sickness recently. She’s been coma for several times already and clots happens to her a lot. She’s also brave just like you.

 

Jeonghan:

What happened to her?

 

Doctor:

The clot reached her head and that made her pass out after a massive nosebleed.

 

Jeonghan:

Is she alright?

 

Doctor:

To be honest, no.

She’s critical. She’s in the ICU now.

 

Jeonghan:

Will she be okay?

 

Doctor Eric:

We are not yet sure.

From now on, Jeonghan, please let somebody by your side.

I’ll be back, okay?

And please try your best to eat as much as you eat before.

We need to get your body healthy again.

I know it’s hard but it works for my other patient.

Okay?

Don’t worry, I’m here for you.

(He smiled)

You want something from London?

 

Jeonghan:

(He smiled)

Some good news, Doctor.

(He giggled but somehow he felt that his time was limited already and that everything might happen to him any time.)

And a little hmmmm…

Any food?

I’ll bring you some too from our tour.

 

Doctor Eric:

Okay! Good boy!

(He teased Jeonghan)

 

Jeonghan:

(Pouted his cute lips)

I’m a grown up now, doctor! Eeeeyyyy!

 

Doctor:

(He laughed)

Alright.

Sorry.

Make sure you feel happy every day.

Don’t think too much.

It’s a part of your therapy.

 

Jeonghan:

Okay.

Alright!

(Winked)

 

Doctor Eric:

Such a sweet boy.

(He smiled endearingly.)

Did I worry you?

 

Jeonghan:

A bit.-

Ummm-

I think a lot.

(Stuck his tongue out.)

 

Doctor Eric:

Sorry.

But I know you can do it!

Make us proud Jeonghan.

I hope our studies will go well in our lab. I will try my best too!

(He winked)

Talk to me if you want.

I’m always online.

 

Jeonghan:

I can’t?

(He giggled)

You want me to die in (nose) bleeding?

You know I can’t speak English very well.

 

Doctor Eric:

(He laughed)

Try it… and I’ll try to understand.

(He teased)

 

-End of Flashback-

 

Jeonghan:

So that’s how it is.

(He ended up with a smile)

Then we meet again last time with Shua. He said that she died from that head trauma.

But! He brought me a lot of amazing food.

Aigoo~ such a sweet doctor.

 

JiHyo:

You better fight, imma!

(Spank him lightly at his head)

Don’t be discourage.

Just think of us.

(With the angry bird Mong Ji Hyo)

 

Jeonghan:

I am more scared of you than my attacks, noona.

(He tried to throw a joke, but they were all serious.)

 

JiHyo:

Promise me!

 

Jeonghan:

Alright. Alright.

Calm down.

 

HyeJin:

Call us any time.

 

Jeonghan:

KK

 

InSung:

If you want to cry, just let it out.

If you want, let’s drink in my house.

(He smirked)

 

Jeonghan:

Oh yeah!

When?

 

InSung:

Jeonghan-ah. I said if you want a shoulder to lean on. It’s not for every day, okay?

(He teased the young man with his deep laugh.)

But you are welcome any time.

It’s just that, we will not drink beer.

 

Jeonghan:

(His energy depleted.)

Why?~

(He began whining)

 

InSung:

Because you’re still a baby.

(He with a sweet chuckle)

 

Jeonghan:

Eyyy hyung! Tsk!

I’ll knock on your door and bring my own beer and soju.

 

Ah-In:

This punk!

 

InSung:

I believe JiHyo would love too.

 

JiHyo:

Oppa! I am already quiet here. Tsk!

(With a devilish smile)

But just a little will do.

 

Jeonghan:

Let’s set a date!

How about tomorrow?!

 

Ah-In:

(Strike Jeonghan lightly on his shoulders.)

Ya! We have shooting the next day!

 

Jeonghan:

(Giggled)

Oh, right!

 

        The cast went back to the set bringing Jeonghan’s Junhui a piece of cake and an iced coffee. They also gave one to the director, so that he won’t get jealous.