I thought I wouldn’t come back until after Jungkook was gone but… I wasn’t that mean of a friend. He was still my dearest friend, my younger brother from another mother that I loved and cared for. It was Jimin who told me of the news. He told me that Jungkook was getting worse and he hoped for me to come and meet him before it was too late. I battled myself, debating whether I should go back or not. Wondering if I could face the both of them together. But I discarded my selfish feelings and decided that I will be going back to see Jungkook – especially before his last breath.

When I reached Seoul after a long time, the boys were there to meet me. I hugged each one of them and V being the last one, and noticing Bella by his side, I only nodded at her. He patted me on the shoulder and said,

“Come on. He’s already on his deathbed.”

Those words hit me. I knew what he meant. Jungkook was in a critical condition, too near to the brink of death. At that moment, I didn’t regret this choice to meet Jungkook and Kira.

Kira…

I was still in love with her from when I stopped meeting her. I still love her fiercely. I know that she does too but considering the situation, I knew she loved Jungkook more. Probably, she’d forgotten my existence. But I remember her well and as much as I wanted to forget her, it wasn’t a possibility. So instead of trying to forget about her, I decided to remember her. The Kira I know is quiet but chirpy once you get to know her; cares for the people who care for her; will love fiercely and wholeheartedly; intelligent and witty – I could go on. I missed her so much and I needed to see her.

When we arrived at the hospital, Jungkook was sedated. His eyes were still blinking but they were heavy. The nurse told us that he could tell who was who but he wouldn’t be able to respond well. Nonetheless, we tried. One by one, we took our turns saying ‘hi’ and making joking remarks as we always do to one another. Once it was my turn, I crouched down next to him and I could see his eyes following my eyes. His hands slowly travelled to the oxygen mask and he put it below his mouth as he uttered the one word he’d not referred me to in a long time.

“Hyung.” It was barely a whisper, more like a word breathed out.

Unexpectedly, I chuckled at him and a tear escaped my eye. It was so long since I’ve seen him and how unfortunate it was for me to see him on his deathbed. In a way, I was lucky that I could see still see him alive, pay whatever last respects and ask for apology for anything I’d done towards him. It was a blessing in disguise that was given towards me.

I held his hand longer than I expected then I put the mask over his mouth again so he could breathe properly. After a while, I got up and stood near the door, giving the others some space with Jungkook, especially his parents. I was lying to myself that I wasn’t expecting to see Kira in the room.

When the door to the ward Jungkook was opened behind me, I was met with a girl that was pale, lifeless and dressed not to impress. I was familiar with the hoodie. It was her favourite. She didn’t bother to change her yellow coloured pajama pants and knowing her, she always had time to change. Considering the situation, you would know that if she didn’t have time to change, it was definitely an emergency. Her hair was balled into a loose bun that was slowly untangling and her specks were the same purple one that I remembered. Our eyes met and I could see the genuine shock in her eyes and a hint of relief.

I was met with my Kira.

“Kira.”

I thought it would be my voice calling her name but it was her mother that called her. She passed by me and my nose caught a hint of her scent. Peach. She never changed. She was still the same Kira I knew. Only circumstances made her different. I could feel her aura was different than the last time we met. In fact, it had changed when I let her go to Jungkook. I don’t blame her. Dealing with death, especially involving a loved one, is never easy. It takes strength to be poised, calm and collected all the time but I knew Kira still had those characteristics.

I stepped outside the room just to get some air. There were too many people in the room with nothing but soft whispers and an air of tension. The room was surprisingly big enough to accommodate everyone. It wasn’t crowded or stuffy but it made me feel that way. It was too intense in there, as if the Grim Reaper already was there, flying above everyone, just waiting for its comm