Neither one of us spoke a single word as we walked down to a random café that was still opened at this time. It was small, but not claustrophobic. It was cosy and homely – or what a home should feel like.

‘Welcome,’ the middle-aged woman greeted us with a warm smile as we sat at a table. ‘I’ll bring you guys our drink menu. Sorry, our cooks have already left. We’re suppose to close earlier but I had a feeling I needed to be open tonight.’

Intuition. It can be a very scary thing. Intuition. It can also save you.

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ I softly asked Daehwi. ‘You know you can tell me anything in the world right?’ I asked him, needing him to know that I wasn’t going to ship him away to a foreign country and that I wasn’t going to try and change him. Because when you love someone, you don’t want to change them – you watch them blossom and you support their dreams.

‘I didn’t even know myself. It’s all been so confusing,’ he confessed.

‘That’s what feelings are. Feelings are confusing – they’ll make you stop and ask yourself if you are going crazy. They’ll also stop and make you realise how happy you are too,’ I said, recalling the fuzzy feelings of being in love, especially in the honeymoon stage.

‘Kyung Mi Noona, what’s going to happen now?’ Jinyoung asked, generally looking worried about the overall situation. Where does Daehwi go? I can’t possibly take him back to the family house knowing what they think. Knowing what I just did, they wouldn’t let him go easily. They’ll force him back to whatever institution they sent him off to.

‘I’m not sure, but everything is going to be okay. I promise you both that. Whatever happens, this Noona will protect the both of you. I know what type of people my parents can be; I know the hurt they put out when you don’t fit their perfect picture. I’ll be here,’ I reassured them. There will always been some affection in a parent-child relationship – although I may despise them, I appreciate that I was bought into life and not abandoned on the roadside. But that affection is not strong enough to make me see them in a positive light most likely ever again.

‘Jinyoung, does your father know?’ I treaded carefully with my word usage; I’m not even 100% sure that they liked each other. For all I know, my parents are paranoid and that they are best friends. It’s an odd thing where female best friends can be as close without turning a single head but when males are close to the same extent people will question.

‘My father says it’s a phase and I’ll grow out of it,’ he replied. Even if his father doesn’t necessary agree with his preferences, at least he didn’t ship his son away.

‘Here are your drinks,’ the lady said walking to our table. ‘I’m sorry but I overheard your conversation. If I can offer any advice is that what will be will be. You can’t control your destiny, just let things fall into place.’

And I guess that’s all we can do – let it all fall into place. I used to watch my life and relationship fall apart into pieces. But now, I’m watching my brother’s life beginning to fall into place. Maybe falling isn’t what’s bad – maybe we just fear it because we can’t control the speed that you fall at.

Diverting the conversation away from the two young male that were confused about themselves, we talked about random things. From discussing the current best songs on the radio to which dramas currently airing on t.v.

After drinking our drinks, I took them back to the apartment complex. Wished Jinyoung a good night and apologised for the messy dinner that the he found himself tangled in.

‘What’s on your mind?’ I asked Daehwi who sat at my dinner table drinking lemon honey tea. At times like this, I wished my apartment was big enough to have at least a small living room to fit a couch.

‘I’ve been so lost for so long. I don’t even know who I am anymore,’ he confessed, breaking my heart. The happy go lucky child that I grew up with no longer found. Replacing that child is a young man who looks broken and disoriented.

‘Start from the start, what happened?’ I asked him softly.

‘I don’t even remember what happened, but when you left I became very lonely at home. It didn’t matter that I could visit you; home didn’t feel like home. Mother and father were always angry so I just wanted to get out of there.’ He recalled from me. I didn’t know how hard everyone else had it when I just upped and left them. I didn’t know what was happening here.

‘I was spending more time at my friends house and I’m not sure what happened but I was sent to America. Mum said I was going for school that they had managed to get a scholarship for me. But when I got there, I was sent to a hospital. I barely understood the language; I had to use a translating device. They said I had depression.

‘But dad said that that wasn’t the correct diagnosis and they bought me back to this institution in Korea.’ He continued, with tears daring to fall,’ when I got there, they were telling me how I’m a sinner and that everything I do is wrong. I didn’t even know what I was doing but they said that I was attracted to boys. I didn’t even know I was.’

‘What did they do to you there?’ I asked him, something traumatising must have happened to him there.

‘I don’t want to speak about it,’ he said, ‘but it was horrible Noona. Jinyoung is my be